I'm just feeling so down today

 I still don't feel the same

Did I ever feel real

Have I always been this way 

I don't know but I feel like 

I'm not ok 

I feel so dead inside

Dead in My eyes

A fire deep inside

Floating

Disconnecting 

Goldfish floating I never feel like I'm sleeping

hypersexual

 but disconnected depressive drinking 

numb horny and suicidal thinking

Fem boy 

Goth 

Trans girl 

cat girl

Suicidal yeah call me whatever

 I don't give a fuck I'll say it

 I'm not ashamed to be myself 

With a devilish smile I don't fake shit

but If I start to panic and speaking frantic 

please don't leave me like everyone else I promise I  

I won't try to run away I'll let you do anything to me

if you just tell me your won't walk away

 I'll be anything you want me to be today 

I want to feel something someone anything

 please just touch me kiss me love me fuck me hurt me take me forever trap me in your personal made heaven 

I didn't want to say 

I can't love me

I'm not use to not being abused

I didn't want to say anything that something's wrong

I just want to wake up and smile but 

I woke up set on  fire 

in a world with no water

 or sound effects active 

 last night I tried to slitting my wrists again 

I tried overdosing with my horror goddess whore horse 

just another failed attempt   

Another lie to myself

 running through my brain looping on self defense

repeating to myself to the pain of stabbing eruptive mental agony living in a borderline insanity 

 I'm a piece of fucking shit

I never meant shit fuck world get high fuck live

My brains the enemy borderline sanity splitting loving and hating with knives of fire loving with bloody hearts wrapped around my dead blood warmed stained wrists clotting all the hope and exceptions I know you'll destroy before you even know I hold them out for you like a new toy 

 If I'd just die I'd be ok but I can't even see the blurry image of myself naked in the mirror 

I don't have a problem at all

I'm ripping out my hair again

I want to rip off my skin

I'm so fat I never want to eat anything

The thoughts make me gag up vomit when there's nothing in my stomach

As the world around me becomes like brittle black buttons 

 I dread the feeling cracked smile 

A expressionless face a silent tear screams and falls a numb sculpture I am displayed  

 rotten like shattered candy on the blood stained empty room floors 

The dead Space

Fuck me all night through the morning drenched in saliva and love 

As the Rabbits finds new holes to fall down 

Do we run?

I've fallen down

Do you still love me

Could I ever love me 

I want to die tonight but your body keeps me up all night

Up all night through the morning screaming and moaning 

Smiling for a bleeding eternity 

But I'm

Down again

I hate my body

Looking at my Razors again 

I shy away

Nothings going right night

It seems like nothing I try is working for me

Nothing I try to do  in this  

blah blah blah world

I don't give a fuck anymore   

Just leave me alone 

I'm just to numb to feel you

And not Dumb enough to believe you 

Your viewed in Black and white

What were you really going to do did you really think you would or could change anything 

Would you in a world full of angels and snakes

With all those I hopes the dreams you procured better not

Light a hot rail up my nose fuck the night away

What's any of this matter anymore 

Were all going to die 

So lets just die like we fuck

And spread our secrets all across your walls 

As I take all of you as I take no care for myself 

I want to burn with you forever in a quantum immortality

Seductive final activity hypersexuality  

Wake up

Want to die

I'm starving to death 

I could give a fuck less

But I can't eat anything tonight 

All I want to do is die but what I really want is just to live my life 

So fuck me like it's my last night alive 




Last Night Alive 4

I really just don't want to be 

here anymore living with joints caked with rust 

 I have people that love me but  I don't feel like I am real

When around them alone is not the feeling 

But daydreaming of non existence is my ideation a suicidal fever dream flashes of horror fills my mental visional abyss that sinking deep into the depth of my heart I fear everything and everyone 

I just got a week of happiness love feeling like I could take on the world 

Final change me life but I sit here in the dead silence going over everything I've ever

Done that had taken parts of my life and stuffed them with pills vomiting up the drugs and blood 

I purge my life the last acceptance was accepting myself 

Realizing I never be able to connect to others 

Joy is less than a fleeting forgetful thought 

in a world where your force fed the shit of life until your dead 

buried 

Left to rot and be forgotten 

I never asked to be here

To be born 

To grow up in a civil hell 

I wish I never had to feel any of this 

I had hope 

Desire 

Passion 

Love

not lust 

But merging souls will it be or are we crazy insane lost full of pain and the wish to live a life I didn't have to feel like I have to end it every time my souls is soaked in flames as I look to turn I see myself digging my grave over my body I get sucked back into my surroundings where am I did I fall asleep 

How did I get to this place a place we yearn for love but are denied by our own defense mechanism  

Coping I can't anymore I'm on a war path to change this dull numb mind dead memory rotten looping cage 

The Flesh 

Is my prison but I'm on parole  

now am numb frozen locked lost deep in my mind screaming 

Vomiting 

Draining my blood just to feel what life feels like when it's moving 

There's no sound 

as the hopes and dreams break into the ground dirt of my heart beating in panic I want to trust 

I need to breath but I can't see the good that could come by the next day

Failure again 

I hesitate bowing my head in the blood I use to write my art the words of my poems 

The ink blood that drip in digital and audio waves no one will know me until I die or commit suicide 

Just another sad dead artist I'm just another dead poet trapped I don't want to leave this world I want to taste what real life desires are because this world of grey and bleak a never ending insanity tricked to make me to feel safe and sane but really I was losing my mind cutting into the vessel that traps me in this dying rotten meat suit    =

I'm so upset I could destroy everything around me but 

I can't lift a finger I'm locked in a disconnected mental state torn between malfunction and upgrading the main frame 

Reconstructing evolving 

to respond to the nightmare we are made to walk with unknowingly everyday 

 that never sleep and chase the emotion you hold close to your heart when you look in the mirror and see nothing 

My heart cries out I sense no acceptance so I withdrawal scared that I will get hurt

When all I want is the life I dreamed in the darkest place 

Where I was laid face down breathing in a never ending falling rabbit hole 

If I stay will anything change

I've work so hard and got nothing but heart aches

What it feels like 

To live in the life you will yourself without restrictions 




I Don't Want To Be Here  Found Self Acceptance To Late


Would You Join Us?
(Intro - Spoken word, ethereal whispers over ambient synths and distant echoes)
Would you join us? We can feel your heart...
Desiring forever, an immortal union.
Death Moth souls, even if fractured... Feel...
(Verse 1 - Slow-building, haunting melody with acoustic guitar and subtle bass)
Where rises purple and pink inner scars,
A union entwined like the art painted by my spells,
Protecting our hearts from the thorns of all that trapped us,
In post-traumatic experiences.
We want to build something great,
We offer our ink-covered hands out in a leap of faith and trust.
We want to lift you up,
Honesty only in our communications.
You rise higher...
(Pre-Chorus - Rising intensity, adding distorted layers)
The temple of the Void honors vows of passions released,
The lovers that desire enhance trust,
Opening up our hearts to yours without resistance.
Fate divines to us in sleep,
Deep, more meaningful choker collars bind our promises,
We wear locked on, holding the promises we inscribed in writing,
Binding us together with an unbreakable promise.
(Chorus - Explosive, anthemic with heavy drums and soaring vocals)
Synced devotion forever breaks laws,
A stop, we are at the vacuum out of the hellish world,
Where we had been stalked by living nightmare ghosts.
With us screaming out fate's design in ink,
We want to end all our suffering and fear of any doubts.
Let's go take the path we found,
The path to the language of light where all the shadows play and feast,
Communicating with the Void,
The quantum snake, the black hole sun of the souls.
We break through...
(Verse 2 - Mid-tempo, electronic pulses blending with guitar riffs)
Where loving shadows that play like little monsters,
I asked for you, for us, long ago after.
I want to start the evaporation of the hypnotic hold,
Of our past hells, the alters who hold the trauma.
A ritual older than cosmic void, primordial blindness,
The horrors that have been hexed around, shackled to us.
Captivity no more, the broken chains that possessed,
Living memories, mental demons locked in a trauma state,
Screaming, looping infinity, a disassociated enslavement.
(Pre-Chorus - Building tension with layered harmonies)
We ask you, dear, would you be our Death Moth Priestess?
We want, we desire...
Honor with you to leave behind the uncertainty of mortal flesh unions,
Where the fear of abandonment dies and is devoured by our Mother's cosmic hungry,
Ending the paranoia, the intrusive devils of insanity that inside to one's self mocks us,
Tries to make excuses to shatter the union of the immortal souls.
(Chorus - Louder, with added synth swells and backing echoes)
That manipulate, force-fed false delusional desires,
Ideas of separations that whisper there's something better.
Suffocated, kill the laws that society thinks is righteous,
They unfaithfulness that breeds lies and deceit, suffering.
Presenting our trust and openness, no judgment, pasts dead.
Ripping open our tattooed hearts, we let you hear our written hell,
That's been cut into the flesh between us.
(Bridge - Slow, atmospheric breakdown with spoken elements and rising orchestration)
Creators, living death entities, two fractured, one whole.
Let's plan and create an empire from all that couldn't kill us,
To evolve from life's suffering, ending the fear.
Never alone, never again, forever held together,
Breathing in each other's breath of life.
We are permanent, locked together by the abyss.
Us three can make a beautiful exploration...
Hyper life together.
(Outro - Fading echoes, returning to whispers and ambient fade)
Would you join us? We can feel your heart...
Desiring forever... Immortal union...
Death Moth souls... Feel...
(Hyper life together... Forever...)

Would U Join Us Lover Vowed Commitment Priestess

Death Sex Magik Blood Magik Chaos Magik
Looking To Start A polyfidelity Triad Occult Life Time Relationship Activity now must be invested to be concentered

Echo's N MelaNKholyiA : A Sonic Odyssey of Fragmented Souls
In the shadowed corners of  Indiana, Echo's N MelaNKholyiA emerges as a groundbreaking experimental music project, a testament to the transformative power of art in the face of inner chaos. Founded in 2025 by the visionary artist Nexus Khimera—known also as Void, Echos, Mothyii, Alice, Helix, 5, Nexus Etheric ,Odium, Raven, and Death Moth this endeavor is an AI-assisted alchemical fusion of raw emotion and sonic innovation. At 38 years old, Khimera channels a lifetime of introspection, beginning from therapeutic explorations at age 15, into a tapestry of sound that defies categorization. The project's name, with its deliberate misspelling, evokes distorted echoes of melancholy—fragments of pain rebounding through an eternal void, mirroring the fragmented realities Khimera weaves into every composition.
Khimera serves as the sole architect of Echo's N MelanKholyia, handling vocals, lyrics, production, and visual aesthetics with a chameleon-like versatility. Drawing from a deeply personal narrative of psychological navigation, the music acts as a manifesto for survival, blending co-conscious identity shifts and emotional rebirth. The band's conceptual "members"—envisioned as alters in a dissociative system—include Helix as the resilient core, Alice as the protective guardian embodying transgender identity and safety, Phuric, and Odium as the unflinching confrontor of hate and vacuum, Five as the frozen residue of past emptiness, and Suicide Gene as the unnamed pull toward nothingness, symbolizing unyielding survival code. These personas "speak" through layered vocals, reversed whispers, and glitchy confessions, creating a dialogue that invites listeners to confront their own shadows without judgment.
Musically, Echo's N MelanKholyia is a hypnotic storm of genres: traumacore's dissonant catharsis meets industrial gothcore's mechanical fury, nu metal's rap-growl aggression, post-darkwave's ethereal haze, glitchcore's chaotic distortions, and voidcore's abyssal emptiness. The result is an immersive, addictive soundscape—binaural beats pulsing at 40Hz and 174Hz to tie in seduction and euphoria, 3D audio for psychotic despair, and unpolished production that bleeds raw intensity. Themes delve into mental health's labyrinth: dissociation's void, addiction's grip, damaging relationships' scars, and the triumph of self-reclamation. Khimera's artistry extends beyond audio to visual realms, with album artwork featuring charcoal sketches, gothic horror elements, and luciferian symbolism, all crafted to evoke a "junkie holocaust death march" of creepy, apocalyptic introspection.
Since its inception, Echo's N MelanKholyia has released a series of chapters that push artistic boundaries, available on platforms like Spotify, Amazon Music, SoundCloud, Apple Music, Tidal, Qobuz, and TikTok. The project's YouTube channel serves as a portal for official music videos, behind-the-scenes glimpses, and community engagement, fostering a space where fans can explore their own narratives through Khimera's lens. With collaborations leveraging AI for production and thematic depth, the band stands as a beacon for the disenchanted, proving that art can heal, empower, and transcend.
Subscribe to Echo's N MelanKholyia on YouTube for a journey into the melanKholyia—where echoes of the past forge omegas of the future. For inquiries or collaborations, connect via Facebook or X (@Mothyii13). All rights reserved © 2025 Echo's N MelanKholyia.

I Don't Want To Be Here Found Self Acceptance To Late

Echo's N MelaNKholyiA

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