In loving memory of Claire Elise Gregory
🌻 April 7 1991  -  March 7 2020 🌻

-- CREDITS --
Written by Naz Hejaz
Produced by Tim Carr and Naz Hejaz
Mixed by Daniel James Goodwin
Mastered by Philip Shaw Bova

-- LYRICS --
You could've told me anything at all
And I would've believed you
You could've said the writing’s on the wall
Oh I, would have tried to free you
But now I’m standing still in black
Begging your soul to take you back

You could've told me anything at all
You could've told me anything at all

Well I know you could hide it and I feared that you might
You’d bleed to feel lighter, I’d break to know why
I hid all your weapons
I begged you to try but you decided it’s over

I promised we'd have time to do it all
But I guess I deceived you
You asked the world for a hand before your fall
And instead it released you
Another friend eclipsed in haste
A grieving ghost left in your wake

I promised we'd have time to do it all
I promised we'd have time to do it all
I promised we'd have time to do it all

Well I know you could hide it and I feared that you might
You’d bleed to feel lighter, I’d break to know why
I hid all your weapons
I begged you to try but you decided it’s over

Well you know that I’d fight it, I feared you were right
You’d bruise for the pleasure, I’d lose sleep to stand by
You told me you loved me
Looked me straight in the eye before deciding it’s over

Human Halfway House

Too Soon

-- CREDITS --
Written By Naz Hejaz
Produced by Tim Carr and Naz Hejaz
Mixed By Daniel James Goodwin
Mastered by Philip Shaw Bova

-- Lyrics --
In a dark room at the dead of night
dimly lit by the moon
Where you go to get hypnotized
despite searching for truth

Close your eyes and you open wide
take the pill they feed you
For a moment it brings you to life
but the world’s fading out, and something’s not right

Open your eyes
and decide to feel anything other than
Numb
an unconscious goodbye
it’s alright if you promise you’ll

Wake Up! Wake Up!
Can’t shake you enough 
Wake Up! Wake Up!

Tell me your dreams and I’ll tell you mine
Tell me anything that proves you’re alive
I can feel your heart beat there’s still time
But you’re letting go and I don’t know why
You’re letting go and I don’t know why

Open your eyes
and decide to feel anything other than
Numb
an unconscious goodbye
it’s alright if you promise you’ll

Wake Up! Wake Up!
Can’t shake you enough 
Wake Up! Wake Up!

Wake Up! Wake Up!
I won’t watch you give up
Wake Up!

Wake Up!

-- CREDITS --
Written by Naz Hejaz
Produced by Tim Carr and Naz Hejaz
Dank Sax Outro by Ted Taforo
Mixed by Daniel James Goodwin
Mastered by Philip Shaw Bova

-- LYRICS --
I need It
You know that I can’t beat it
So help me change my mind
I want it
You know I’m not above it
So help me change my mind

Knock knock
You’ve come for my devotion but the door is locked
You catch me through the cracks that I’ve tried to block
And I’m low on my resistance so… help me god

You don’t speak
You just bite my lip and break all that’s left in me
You move so fast time hardly passes before I relapse into Incurable Dreams

I need It
You know that I can’t beat it
So help me change my mind
I want it
You know I’m not above it
So help me change my mind

Our eyes are locked
Take my soul or leave it
I know you’re not here to hold my hand or help me shape up
You’re fueling my dependence with every drop

I’m strung out 
Solely on your aftertaste, there’s no doubt
Your lingering flavor burns white like a savour who lures me
And leaves me devout

I need It
You know that I can’t beat it
So help me change my mind
I want it
You know I’m not above it
So help me change my mind

You know I’m not gonna beat it
So help me change my mind

You know I’m not above it
So help me change my mind

Incurable Dreams

January I am listening to the music of Haraen (Harae Nagoshi), a self described “dj composer” and “field recordist, photographer” based in Japan. The stylistic pastiche of their talents shine through each piece of music; emotional guitar, despondent piano glitching off to oblivion, reverbed out static that evolves into a steady hum. I really don’t know much about this artist nor do I remember how I stumbled across their music, but I do know they have a wildly prolific output (I have 40 releases and that isn’t everything). If you want a cozy show to keep warm during January, this will be one of my coziest yet.

Just A Dilettante w/ sold (Harae Nagoshi Special) - Jan 21st 2025

Beyond / Below 52 by @ilind. Received December 2024.
Photo by Theo Linder

"If there is one event that I have had the fortune of playing that feels like it seeps and oozes with the same spirit that motivates the wonderful mix series Beyond/Below, it is the annual ambient gathering, Chillits, held in Northern California each year. For that reason, I am honored to have a live recording of my set, recorded on site at the gathering in September 2024, welcomed here alongside so many brilliant ambient mixes. Grounded in a memory of traveling to Avebury with my father, this offering is dedicated to my brother, all of the hard-working free-spirits that tirelessly organize radical musical gatherings across the US and around the world, and to the recently departed Max Carpenter.

As expected for an event like this, the playlist is an approximation and likely has many gaps and unexpected additions. Mastering by the one with the metal plate, Jonathan James Carr."

i.lind, "27: Live at Chillits, 2024" for Beyond/Below:

1. Alice Coltrane - Om Shanti
2. Pete Speer - Om Shanti (extended)
3. Myrinerest - Journey to Avebury
4. ???
5. Something from Félecia Atkinson's 'Hand In Hand'
6. Donato Dozzy - Slow Train Pt. 2
7. Something from Daniel Teruggi's 'Sphæra'
8. Åke Hodell - 220 Volt Buddha
9. Cristina Kubisch & Trondheim Voices - Arrival
10. ???
11. Clairaudience Fellowship - Omphalos/Baltimore
12. Something from Matt Weston's 'A New Form of Crime'
13. Paul Lansky - Notjustmoreidlechatter
14. Hans Reichel - I Want You To Be Happy
15. ???
16. Twig Harper - Music for Higher-Dimensional Consciousness
17. Edward Ka-Spel - The Colour of Sadness
18. Coil - Dark River
19. Tones on Tail - Rain
20. Asa-Chang & Junray - Hana

52. i.lind

Digging into my archives again, a mix from 2013 recorded live at Cedar Room in Bushwick. This was a time of heavy exploration into balearic sounds.

Tracklist:
01. Michael Weisser – Island-Sunshine
02. Mudd – C40
03. Bliss – Wish U Were Here (Charles Webster Remix)
04. Antena – Bye Bye Papaye (Lex Mix)
05. Ashra – Midnight On Mars
06. B.J. Smith – Umi Says
07. Begin 04
08. Otto – Bab (Edu K Mix)
09. Ljudbilden & Piloten – Domedeijla Mosse
10. Maiden Voyage (Brook Mix)
11. Mudd – Speilplatz (Quiet Village Unreleased Instrumental Remix)
12. Sad City – Night Time Trail
13. November Group – Night Architecture
14. El Chicano – Do You Want Me (Inst)
15. Black Science Orchestra – Heavy Gospel Morning
16. Karma – High Priestess
17. Crue-l Grand Orchestra Feat. Miyuki Hatakeyama – Candidate For Love

The Blurred Crusade Episode 15

Sometime in the late 20th I had a radio show on WOBC dedicated to the hilariously conflicted genre known as contemporary classical music.  I'm not sure who the buyer was for the WOBC library, but I was thrilled to find a handful of 20th century harpsichord releases which I still treasure to this day. 

The Finnish composer and keyboardist Jukka Tiensuu put out two albums in quick succession: "The Fantastic Harpsichord" followed by "The Exuberant Harpsichord", which are featured here.

The primary exponent of contemporary harpsichord, Polish harpsichordist Elisabeth Chojnacka, recorded music for decades and was even welcomed to the San Francisco Symphony stage by Michael Tilson Thomas.  I was, of course, on the front row.

American composer Barbara Harbach put together a truly lovely and highly accessible collection of works in an album simply titled "20th Century Harpsichord Music".

00:00 Iannis Xenakis : Χοαί (Khoaï) 1976,  performed by Jukka Tienssu 1987

15:23  Costin Miereanu : Limping Rock for harpsichord and percussion, performed by Elisabeth Chojnacka, Sylvio Gualda 1990

20:16 Kaija Saariaho : Jardin secret II for harpsichorcd and electronics 1986, performed by Jukka Tienssu 1987

31:21  Anneli Arho : Minos' 1978, performed by Jukka Tienssu 1987

39:53 Jukka Tiensuu : Fantango 1984, performed by Jukka Tienssu 1987

44:37 György Ligeti : Hungarian Rock 1978,  performed by Jukka Tienssu 1988

49:29 Virgil Thompson : Four Portraits 1940, performed (and possibly arranged by) Barbara Harbach 1988

20th Century Harpsichord Volume 1

edge case