"hold on again, just wait til may" IS THAT A HOLD ON TILL MAY (PTV) REFERENCE????

I was driving and heard this part and thought i was getting honked at

ellie mills

when ur back home
i promise i wont let go again
i wrote a sad song
just for u to never hear it
if i could cut open
with all the pain that comes with it
would that teach u how much i need u

ive been trying to change
but im stuck in my old ways
those things ive been dying to say
i cant say cause your away
cant make it to the end of the day
without feeling a bittersweet taste
dont have time to make that change
clocks ticking im running late

bittersweet

Shit sucks 😭

looks like u got what u asked for
i never read what the pages say
i always wanted a new way of finding myself

im nervous but im not shaking
asking her please dont take me
i never thought wed get so far
the road is blocked u fucking hate me

and she knows
she thinks deep down shes the one that i want
and i know
ive got 2 options i cant pick one

i get invited to these parties that i dont wanna go to
waiting for a call back u dont answer , do i even know u

we hit a roadblock

produced by me
made in september 

project next

lyrics:
and its like that 
you don't wanna know about me
I cant fight back
I don't wanna know about you
I don't like that
you don't even know anything
gotta back up
need to run away from you
x2

its all I know
and I cant breathe
I'm letting go
what do you see?
i don't think ill see it through
when the lights run dark
I believe in you
I think that my heads turned blue
think I'm needing you
peel off the glue

and its like that 
you don't wanna know about me
I cant fight back
I don't wanna know about you
I don't like that
you don't even know anything
gotta back up
need to run away from you
x2

its all I know
and I cant breathe
I'm letting go
what do you see?
i don't think ill see it through
when the lights run dark
I believe in you
I think that my heads turned blue
think I'm needing you
peel off the glue

from you

production all by me (+32)
art by me
1 out of 4

lyrics:
the tv's acting up
you doubt me everytime
you're looking at my face
i couldn't see your eyes

i nod away 
couldn't help it if i liked
still make the same mistakes
is it messing up if i say that i tried

i couldn't stay away from your mess
tried to push it down
i'm willing to say that it's been more or less
will it ever change around

you're all i know
do i even know you at all
is it something i need to hide
will you ever see my walls
you're letting go
you say your giving up
you wanna know
never satisfy the want

all i know

single off the project (3 of 4)

production by me (+50)
art by me

lyrics:
my life is boring
but i like it that way
i cant afford it
i guess i should've kept my change
you're looking at me
im looking at your shoes
i shouldn't be this judgy
we both know I've lost it too

tell me if its ever gonna be alright
i know i deserve it
better off observing (from a far)
will you ever see me in that light
i know that you're hurting
im needing your warning

there's no saving me
there's no saving me
i've lost it all
i've lost it all

observer

production by me (+64)
art by me

lyrics:
ive lost my train of thought
ive lost my brain in an instant
if i talked it out
would even try to listen

hold on again
just wait til may
youll feel again
just one more day
x2

hold on

@qlein
@yungsten
jjjump on the ship like we on capture the flag
in a bot lobby it feel like laser tag
"i got 8 bands!!!" yeah who even asked
i got 8 fans i dont want no mass
no i cant give a fuck
wait till 2030, 30 to his shit and duck
07/14 MISSING that bitch out of luck
idk where i been goin so i keep it tucked

they doin fent
yeah
laser tag
call it aimbot
livin in a tent
i cant stand these fuckin fake gods
they took my innocence
if they do that shit again i'm aiming w/ da glock
that bitch messed me up for life and now my brain is lost

why they had to be so evil
now i need some validation just to feel
not this sensitive on purpose im for real
tall but i want an mx5, want it teal(x2)

said that im annoying
fuck, i'll never be enough
(FUCK!!!)
wish my head was different 
but my brain is always numb
IIIn ThE bEdRoOm PlAyInG gAmEs
no bitch im rolling up
this the shit that happens
when you have dysphoria.
(FUCK DYSPHORIA!!!!!!!!)

panic attack
always feeling like im gonna die
honestly its killing me 
been wanting to know why
lit with the minski i feel 
like angel with a knife
oh your bodys on the floor
i cant even cry :(

yeah he took it too far
it was in defense
every time i try explaining
hes never not dense
everywhere i fucking go
they all want me condemned
get away
run away
jump over the fence
all the voices
in the wall
on my skin like ants
im unhinged
think i need a little time to vent
i think im ugly but sometimes 
i do not give a shit
those been the times where i believe that i
am at my best

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
yuh, yuh, yuh, yuh,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
yuh, yuh, yuh, yuh,
(epic saikyoz reference xDDD)

snsory issues (bnnett +Juicebutterfly2 + poobxotic)

production by me

the wind beneath my wings, i never see it fly
i wonder how it keeps me in the sky
the floor beneath my feet, you love to watch me die
but im still here i need to ask u why

i like to think that sometimes im still around you
but then again, its in my head
i like to know things especially about you
but then again, its better off not said

how to die standing still

one day ill try and one day ill stop
one day im here and one day im gone
one day ill try and one day ill stop
i been tracing lines ive left behind for what

ive been concerned for you (ive been concerned for you)
how have you been as of recent times
it seems like youve lost your fucking mind
i know its hard to choose
cause those two pills can change ur life
im praying to god its not goodbye

sorry for being blunt sorry for being right
ill say it one more time its just one of those nights
sorry for being blunt sorry for being right
ill say it one more time its just one of those nights
sorry for being blunt sorry for being right
ill say it one more time its just one of those nights
sorry for being blunt sorry for being right
ill say it one more time its just one of those nights

(one day im here and one day im gone)

and if i fall in love again just shoot me in the head
and maybe then ill understand
one day im fine, the next day im lost
for a moment it felt so real now its all gone

blunt

produced and cover art by me

+47 

lyrics:
put it away
i didnt let go
im still holding on
hold me in your arms
my names defamed
i need to let go
im still closing off
its eating me up

its begging me
its bothering us
wont u notice it
wont feed into it
harmless skin
wont u cut into it

where did it go
i didnt notice
ive shed my skin
ive let u in

i thought times moving slow
how did i throw it
throw it all away
how much more can i take

my skin

produced by me
supporting guitar by @buginfestedfloorboards
mastered and additional production by @notlieu

lyrics

walk in and walk out
and get in and get out
youre what i want to be around
push in and push out
and get big and be loud
youre what i want to cry about

youll never be like me
cause youre crying in my arms
and everythings so hard
i said its right on
everythings my fault
cause im falling i cant stop
youre everything i wanted

ive been so bad at pushing for no push back
youre slipping through my fingers
and i know everything goes so fast
it makes me shiver
can you reconsider (it)

no youll never be like me
cause youre crying in my arms
and everythings so hard
i said its right on
everythings my fault
cause im falling i cant stop
youre everything i wanted

be loud

im sorry my vocals are kind of ruining this song also first time recording acoustic guitar so ya sorry it sounds not super good

lyrics:
i knew that i shouldn't
i wanted to say
it flooded your face
i wanted to stay

i wish that i didn't
i hope you forget
remember the rest
don't get in your head

cuz my words go only so far
ill love you wherever u are

hold on

ellie mills

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