Anorexic

The first track on my 2018 album Dark Descent. It attempts to illustrate the beginning of the descent into anorexia - the elation, the high, and the initial seduction of the disease.

Album artwork: Katie Metcalfe Photography

Dark Descent

This is the first song I've written about bulimia. This song presented quite a challenge for me - I hadn't thought about how it feels to be bulimic for a long time, so reliving the mentality was difficult. I also wanted to maintain the same sound and feel to the lyrics as my other songs.

Album artwork: Katie Metcalfe Photography

Pull Me Under

Midnight Run is a track from my 2018 album Dark Descent. With Midnight Run, I wanted to create something that would reflect the emotional drive and willpower that comes along with compulsive over-exercising as an anorexic.
It's very different to any other song on the album - it's upbeat, energetic, and was designed with running and exercising in mind.

Album artwork: Katie Metcalfe Photography

Midnight Run

Girl Within The Ghost is a track from my 2018 album Dark Descent. This song describes how anorexia can completely take over your own personality, to the point where that person appears to be a ghost of their former self; 'the lights are on, but nobody's home'.

Album artwork: Katie Metcalfe Photography

Girl Within The Ghost

Dysmorphia is a track from my 2018 album Dark Descent. Through Dysmorphia, I've tried to reflect the psychological mind games involved with body dysmorphic disorder (BDD) as an element of eating disorders.

Album artwork: Katie Metcalfe Photography

Dysmorphia

ANOREXiA

The Darkest Star is a track from my 2020 album Beauty In The Darkness.

I had quite a lot of requests to remake Decadence and Disorder for the album, so I decided to restructure the lyrics and give it a totally new sound. The title comes from my favourite lyric in D&D: 'you're the darkest star within the galaxy of life'.

The Darkest Star (The Voice Of Anorexia)

Sugar & Ice is a song about anorexia nervosa, designed to portray the anorexic voice and its methods of manipulation; the voice will be sweet and kind if the sufferer obeys, but if not, it will be cruel and punishing.

Sugar & Ice

Invisible Killer is a track from my Hollow EP about atypical anorexia - a type of anorexia that means the sufferer may be a normal weight, or not fit the general criteria of typical anorexia nervosa.

It's an incredibly suffocating mental illness, which I've experienced first hand. Others tend to refuse to believe you have anorexia or offer you any help, based solely on the fact that you're not underweight.

Album artwork: Katie Metcalfe Photography

Invisible Killer

birthday cake by Alex Carroll 
lyrics

V1
I'm sure I used to like birthday cake
and going out at half past two
now I don't know where all my friends have gone
was I supposed to tend to them too

Chorus
and oh I should've stayed at home tonight
cause that's what I've been built to do
and I know the doctors said that I should try
but mum can you pick me up soon

V2
now my best friend is diet lemonade
and crying on the kitchen floor
mum can you tell them we've got plans that day
cause I'm not sure that I can say no anymore

Chorus

Bridge
before I 
lose my mind
another night I'd like to tear into my thighs
oh why 
could the people in my head 
could you please just go to bed
no I can't take it anymore

Chorus

V3
I'm sure I used to like birthday cake
now it just tastes like giving up
I still don't know where all my friends have gone
but what would I give to be enough

birthday cake

Recovered anorexic from UK 🇬🇧
Psychological music based on eating disorders & mental illness 🎶

Dark Descent

ElysianSoul

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