All of ElysianSoul's songs <3 Please like her songs, and go follow her! She's a true artist, every one of her songs has so much power, emotion, and story behind it <3

💕 ElysianSoul 💕

pov: you're having an eating disorder relapse

This is the first song I've written about bulimia. This song presented quite a challenge for me - I hadn't thought about how it feels to be bulimic for a long time, so reliving the mentality was difficult. I also wanted to maintain the same sound and feel to the lyrics as my other songs.

Album artwork: Katie Metcalfe Photography

Pull Me Under

Midnight Run is a track from my 2018 album Dark Descent. With Midnight Run, I wanted to create something that would reflect the emotional drive and willpower that comes along with compulsive over-exercising as an anorexic.
It's very different to any other song on the album - it's upbeat, energetic, and was designed with running and exercising in mind.

Album artwork: Katie Metcalfe Photography

Midnight Run

Shadow Dancer is a track from my 2020 album Beauty In The Darkness.

The inspiration behind this song came from the memory of dancing alone in my bedroom at night when I was suffering from anorexia as a teenager. I would wait until after midnight, put on my headphones, and dance until I believed I'd burned off enough calories - it was just me, my shadow, and the anorexic voice pushing me on. With this track, I hoped to capture the haunting feeling of isolation that comes with embracing the anorexic voice, and the strange sense of companionship that forms as a result.

Shadow Dancer

Beauty In The Darkness is a song from my 2020 album under the same name. 

This track was inspired by a YouTube comment on one of my other songs, which made me realise that there are elements of beauty within the darkness of eating disorders - for example, the intense euphoria and feeling of achievement experienced through weight loss. The lyrics convey how the ED tries to seduce the sufferer by playing on insecurities and fears from childhood, or from peer pressure, and offers a misleading sense of comfort and security.

Beauty In The Darkness

Sugar & Ice is a song about anorexia nervosa, designed to portray the anorexic voice and its methods of manipulation; the voice will be sweet and kind if the sufferer obeys, but if not, it will be cruel and punishing.

Sugar & Ice

Warrior is the first track of my Hollow EP.

I had a lot of requests to make more music not based on eating disorders, so I tried to create something that reflected the sense of pain and loss I've experienced over the last year or so, but also the strength gained and lessons learned. 

I've given the song a sort of a haunted vibe as it progresses, to try to show the deep, lingering sense of nostalgia, or 'saudade', which has both a happy and sad meaning.

Album artwork: Katie Metcalfe Photography

Warrior

Invisible Killer is a track from my Hollow EP about atypical anorexia - a type of anorexia that means the sufferer may be a normal weight, or not fit the general criteria of typical anorexia nervosa.

It's an incredibly suffocating mental illness, which I've experienced first hand. Others tend to refuse to believe you have anorexia or offer you any help, based solely on the fact that you're not underweight.

Album artwork: Katie Metcalfe Photography

Invisible Killer

This is a revamped version of Sugar & Ice for my Hollow EP.

When I was making Warrior, I loved experimenting with Japanese taiko drums and the powerful sound they produced, so I really wanted to utilise them for Sugar & Ice too. I also stripped the song of female gender references and added a male voiceover to the instrumental part, to try to bring more of a male voice to songs about anorexia.

Huge thanks to David for providing the spoken poetry for this song!

Album artwork: Katie Metcalfe Photography

Sugar & Ice (Hollow Version)

Deteriorate is a song from my Hollow EP about an eating disorder relapse. The idea for this song stems directly from a memory of a time when I experienced relapses of my eating disorder as a teenager.

A vivid image that hangs in my mind is of a crimson sky at dawn, when I would wake up early and run to burn off calories before the day had begun. There were some beautiful skies in the countryside, and for me, the red sky and cold morning rain always signalled the beginning of a relapse, and the fall back into the anorexic mindset.

Deteriorate

Recovered anorexic from UK 🇬🇧
Psychological music based on eating disorders & mental illness 🎶