So long
It's been so long
Since I've felt that
Feeling, of ever being
What I wanted
Innocence 
Is never growing
It's always taken
Calling of the fallen
Never stayed here

Never stayed here
Never lived here
Surrounded by myself
And all the tears here
Never wanted
To be forgotten
But here I am, here I am
With a lost stare

It just pulls you down
To the underground
Drags you round n round
Till it wears you out
Taking in the fallout
Till you're frail around
The centers out
Can't get out of bed now
Lost the drive to feel now
It just takes you out, it just takes you down

Takes me down, oh it takes me down
I know
When it
Takes me down, oh it takes me down
I know

Can't get up to fight
Can't get down at night
Swear it's bout that time
To start another life,
Run at quarter time
Takes so much to try
Running out of time
Running out of hope,
For another life

Another life
So long
So long
So long for another life
Since I've felt that
Feeling, of ever being

When it takes me down, oh it takes me down
I know
When it
Takes me down, oh it takes me down
I know

(So long
It's been so long
Since I've felt that
Feeling, of ever being
What I wanted
Innocence 
Is never growing
It's always taken
Calling of the fallen
Never stayed here)

So long
It's been so long
Since I've felt that
Feeling, of ever being
What I wanted
Innocence 
Is never growing
It's always taken
Calling of the fallen
Never stayed here

take me down [prod. Isak C]

and you told me it’d get better
never guessed that my mood would match the weather
grass grows 
things heals
i lost all of my appeal 
and i wish you told me sooner
cuz then i wouldnt look like a loser 
i guess it’s my fault for believing
that i would some day lose the feeling 

hey there i got your letter
every word bled through the paper
you wrote with so much weight
i hope you’re feeling better

avoiding signs from my body
cuz i can’t think of better things to do 
i lost everyone but you

cut ties with anyone around me
they never cared
about me
they’ll probably all
forget me
eventually

and i’m stuck 
being
everything i hated
and i wish 
that i could 
some how make it up to u
the lies and all my faults
were getting to me
i think i should rot
eternally

and you told me it’d get better
never guessed that my mood would match the weather
grass grows 
things heals
i lost all of my appeal
and i wish you told me sooner
cuz then i wouldnt look like a loser 
i guess it’s my fault for believing
that i would some day lose the feeling 

its so good 
lost feeling
im getting better im healing
on every first of the month
i always fuck it up
you didnt hurt me enough
so now we're back in touch
told myself i'd never fall in love again
care too much im fucking up myself instead
losing grip on my reality
its how it always ends
im never going back home
and i dont wanna be friends

and you told me it’d get better
never guessed that my mood would match the weather
grass grows 
things heals
i lost all of my appeal
and i wish you told me sooner
cuz then i wouldnt look like a loser 
i guess it’s my fault for believing
that i would some day lose the feeling

appeal (feat. vito)

@55depths

video:
https://youtu.be/uVgZnDtL1X4

track 1, an introduction to:
"si tu veux"

a deep dive into 3 pivotal relationships of the past.

lyrics:
you're running back and forth inside my head
like the thought of death
the beginning to an end
if you want
we can forget it all
you left me to fall
all alone
again

calling me out
you're pulling me down
a night all alone
to bring you home
seems real easy
real easy
calling me out
you're pulling me down
a night all alone
to bring you home
seems real easy
real easy

will you pick up
(as i'm thrown into the fire)
i've been calling on the phone
(the ashes of the past)
will you pick up
(serve forever as a reminder)
i'm tired of being alone
(that i'm always pushing higher)
will you pick up
(that i want to get better)
i've been calling on the phone
(that i need to get better)
will you pick up
(that i have to forget her)
i'm tired of being alone
(but this pain never gets better)

calling

I haven't made shit in months so here's a vent session I made into a song

Finally Sober (prod. sundwn)

jaded and alone
the sunset calls me home
im stupid i should have known that you wept in your room

i tried to get help
got lost along the way
you acted so afraid
but i cant help it is what i told myself
i turned on my own friends
cant deny evidence
it was right in front of me
you were right in front of me

jaded and alone
the sunset calls me home
im stupid i should have known that you wept in your room

jaded1

prod: @dutchrevz

Visuals: https://youtu.be/cqAeYSAdtms
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/1vChbwLIJC0kYQ9SdDS6Od?si=f6945b3a7c274a49

Lyrics:
i do too many drugs just to feel nothing 
day and night they're pulling on my strings
the things you said still sting
sinking 6 feet in the ground   

nobodys heres around 
my thoughts play that same old sound
get fucked up so you can be your self 

I wanna wash away the pain
I think I need a brand new brain
I wanna wash away the pain
Your touch can help me medicate

I wanna wash away the pain
instead i always suffocate
I wanna wash away the pain
Time stands still right here today 

dreaming bout another world
Dreaming bout same girls  
Feelin like i'm losing my mind
Take time
Away
Ill fade
Decay 

Sick of all the bullshit
So I grab a full clip
In my head 
In my head I’m such a mess 

Toxic toxic
Every word you said
Every word you said remind me of my fucking ex

Dead eyes and a hole in my chest
The way you take my breath
Like my lungs lost all their oxygen
Watch it all go black again 


Let you get into my head like that girl
Every time I’m in my bed I’m reminded
everybody feels alone in this world
Everytime you make me feel blindsided

I think times a bitch
And you don’t know shit
Of how I feel
Is this real

Need a reality switch 
Baby I need a full clip

Make me the enemy
Noise won’t go away like centipedes 
I keep isolating 
While I feel the craving


Sick of all the bullshit
So I grab a full clip
In my head 
In my head I’m such a mess 

Toxic toxic
Every word you said
Every word you said remind me of my fucking ex

Dead eyes and a hole in my chest
The way you take my breath
Like my lungs lost all their oxygen
Watch it all go black again 

Sick of all the bullshit
So I grab a full clip
In my head 
In my head I’m such a mess 

Toxic toxic
Every word you said
Every word you said remind me of my fucking ex

Dead eyes and a hole in my chest
The way you take my breath
Like my lungs lost all their oxygen
Watch it all go black again

FULL CLIP (prod. dutchrevz)

Speed Demonz

Matthew Plante - Lord Of All Hosts

💔i hope you all like this track. i've been working on it for a long time💔
on spotify!!
https://open.spotify.com/album/06CzddPuDEy6RalhoPlZ8L?si=6jA6pYs5QZOC9VhdL96XJw

𝕚 𝕨𝕒𝕟𝕥 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕪𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕠 𝕓𝕖 𝕠𝕜𝕒𝕪 (ON SPOTIFY)

I saw your name when you shone the light 
I saw your name when I counted up the reasons why 
You hate me
And no ones gonna save me

You can pry all you like 
but it’s hard to explain 
I don’t wanna admit that I wanted to stay 
Are you right?
Are you right?
Am I cruel just for the sake of it?

Nothing will kill you like I did 
Stuck in my mind 
Just like you wanted 
crawling under my skin I feel you 


You can pry all you’ll like 
but it’s hard to explain 
I don’t wanna admit that I wanted to stay 
Are you right?
Are you right?
Am I cruel just for the sake of it?

Saw you coming a mile 
And I won’t hit the brakes 
Shoulda run while you could 
I’ll just stand in your way 
Never mind
Never mind 
Do your worst 
I can take it

under my skin (cloudhigh x brody)

i just wanna feel
something but i hate it
and i want something that is real
i've been feeling so complacent

so tell me what's the deal
locked up in my mind
i don't feel anymore
it was a year or two before

(i don't cry, i haven't been able to-)

and all the things you tell me are about the things you wanted
and it'll take a while for me to get in touch with my emotions
all the things i wanna say but i left things feeling broken, yeah
and i'm dancing by myself while you figure out your motives

(yeah, yeah)

(cause i don't-)

told me what you wanted
still, i could never be it
taking all my time to look you in the eyes
and i'm fading from your mind
but you don't really see it
i think i'm alright, i think i'm gonna be fine

and then i have my regrets that wake me up in the morning
falling asleep to thoughts of being important
and i'm wasting my time talking to you i know it
i saw the hands in the sky pull me up without warning

t.b.h, i'm looking at your pictures
i know that you're going back to him
that's okay with me but i'm not sure

i don't know what to feel since you're always not around
you're a few miles from my town
since your moving, kiss me now
and i'm always looking down

and now you're asking for a favor
but i can't even ask myself, yeah
i'm not gonna miss you
i'm not gonna lie to myself
i don't want you

i don't want you

(i don't, i don't, i don't)

i just hate you

tell me what you wanted
so i could never be it
taking all my time to look you in the eyes
and i'm fading from your mind
but you don't really see it
i think i'm alright, i think i'm gonna be fine

staring at the sun while i gaze in the rear view
holding on my hand whenever i was near you
i don't understand what our bodies will turn in to
how different can i be in a soul that you can see through?

hurting all the time and my bones are still aching
i can't comprehend if i know that we'll make it
turning off the lights so she can't see our faces
feel each other's touch while we're in different places

take me down [prod. Isak C]

emjaay

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