very quickly becoming my favorite on this whole fucking platform

this is mad beautiful. also shoutout little nightmares

I don’t wanna do this anymore 
leave me dead here on the floor 
I don’t wanna sleep in bed 
Since you left me all alone 
I feel your presence everywhere 
your voice is in the air 
I wish you didn’t think that I just never fucking cared 

I’m falling apart again 
I get no rest at night 
heart beating, I’m alive, I’m never getting high 
cause I’m broken from the feeling that you left inside 
my heart, cause It was hard for me to stop feeding you all those lies 

there’s no excuse for my shitty behavior 
maybe you just fuckin did yourself a favor 
I’m a fuck up and I don’t deserve you 
5 years of every memory I’ll never forget you 

I don’t blame you for leaving me alone 
Cause I know, you’re better off without me 

I’m going days without eating again 
I’m broke and I’m barely getting out of my bed 
I’m getting fucked up every chance that I get 
cause I never want to feel this feeling of regret pounding my chest 
In my head it’s always gonna be my fault 
I’m closed off and I bottle up everything I should talk about 
it’s so hard for me to say it out loud 
But I am not okay and I don’t see a way out

i don't wanna do this anymore... (prod. Afterlife x Pekarot)

left here stranded and torn 
break me down again 
pour me another four 
looking for all these answers 
in all the wrong places 

Handful of pills yeah,
I drink just for the thrill 
Yeah, I’m going to the bar like every fucking night 
I always feel alone and I just wanna die 
Lying in our old bed 
with all these different women 
You’re still running through my head 
just wish things weren’t different 
I don’t really know what it fuckin means 
When we still talk and you got me down on my knees 
just watch me cut my throat, and bleed 
just popped another xan, can’t see 
I’m drowning in your Hennessy 
remember, you were my Tennessee? 
give me pills and alcohol, and sex and drugs we do them all 
I’m always waiting on you call when you leave him, drop him, let him fall 

JeffreyAlexander.
I never  really knew you until I met you 

Pour another shot of that shit when I fucking see you 
I’ve never felt like this until you turned me into dark blue 
Now I’m losing everything inside my mind that’s the truth 

I just wanted to be okay 
I stay inside my pills that are laced 
I’m on my way six feet under my grave 
Is where I my dues are paid 
Is where you’ll see my face

left here, stranded & torn (feat. jeffreyalexander.)(prod. Afterlife X Jolst)

no consideration
no consideration
for ur future
just look at urself
all consideration
all consideration
for ur past
my nails ill bite fast
i wont ever get a bag
its no wonder im sad
i really didnt choose this
i really didnt
stuck in my room screaming till someday
i finally got what i want someway
slow
slow 
slow ur fuckin roll now
ur getting too caught up 
in the paper that u roll now
you can tell me anything
i promise that ill understand
yeah i know life sucks 
but just hang w me
gotta do so much just to get by
its really hard just to be happy
gotta do so much just to get by
its really hard just to be happy

no consideration (sogimura)

just the beginning...
@jolst // @pekarot_161 // art by @ejcarrmusic

lyrics:

i can tell u wanna hang it up
with the way u never say u love me
and i never even needed ya
maybe it was just the way u bugged me

i’ve been bothered by the time i’ve wasted lately
fallen through, my saving grace
it was the one thing that kept me in place
rather forget than forgive

cuz i’ve been kind
i’ve given patience u dont deserve
i’ve followed trails to the core of this earth
i’m reading books cuz i never fucking learn
you’ve run a fine line too long this time
i gotta move on im sure im right
cuz it was nice with u here
i’ll be fine with u gone
i don’t like all this fear
you should just move along

i can tell u wanna hang it up
with the way u never say u love me
and i never even needed ya
maybe it was just the way u bugged me

time, wasting time 
but you don’t realize 
what you don’t realize 
these are the days of our lives
you got caught up in your lies 
emotions trapped inside your minds 
hidden behind a disguise
now its too late for goodbyes

i can tell u wanna hang it up
with the way u never say u love me
and i never even needed ya
maybe it was just the way u bugged me

i’ve been bothered by the time i’ve wasted lately
fallen through, my saving grace
it was the one thing that kept me in place
rather forget than forgive..

hangitup [jolst x pekarot]

spotify & apple music!

(intro)

i know it’s hard
when your life just falls apart
i know it’s hard
when your body’s covered in scars

(chorus)

i know it’s hard
when your life just falls apart
i know it’s hard
when your body’s covered in scars

and theres nothing you can do except stare at the ceiling 
and wonder if your life has lost any meaning 
nothing but a disgrace from the very start
but would you be surprised if i was hanging in the dark

(bridge)

it has been centuries since i gazed into your eyes
you were perfection and i miss you in my life

(verse)

there should be nothing to hide
but you still keep feeding me lies
into my head
do you want me to end up dead?
every night i’m staring at the lead 
at the end of my bed
one bullet is all it should take
to put me inside my grave

(chorus)

i know it’s hard
when your life just falls apart
i know it’s hard
when your body’s covered in scars

and theres nothing you can do except stare at the ceiling 
and wonder if your life has lost any meaning

(outro)

i know it’s hard

(it has been centuries since i gazed into your eyes)
(you were perfection and i miss you in my life)

one shot from the grave (sorrow bringer)

timeless gng

unwrote books and passages
time will wake me up id rather be dead
take this plate away from me before i get sick
i love this life and now i dont wanna live
sad.
they live for themselves but they ignore you
thats how it goes it shouldn't surprise you
theres alot of people who wanna look like you
including me you really tinted my hue
you said im bad but im doing fine 
so what the fuck do you mean?
yeah i learned from being a bitch
now im not really that mean no more
i promise ill do better.

unwrote books and passages
time will wake me up id rather be dead
take this plate away from me before i get sick
i love this life and now i dont wanna live
sad.
they live for themselves but they ignore you
thats how it goes it shouldn't surprise you
theres alot of people who wanna look like you
including me you really tinted my hue

what do you mean?
i know im not
i promise ill do better.

unwrote books & passages (wisssery x sharp)

vvv

movin at light speed ive been glowing honestly
think i couldnt be doing better pain is hard to see
taking red n blue up inside my odyssey 
dont hit me up im out of reach
im in my own world
im in my own zone
conspired this all inside my dome
now its all right here and i finally found my home
its you 
its me 
im starting to believe and talk to my inner child  and not ignore her
im so sorry i know that i treated u like shit for months
youre still my baby angel and i never meant to hurt u, love
it wasnt my intentions it was the man with the red hair
if im bein honest w u i dont think he ever cared
id tell you it was a facade but u prolly do not know that word
i know how he hurt you and i hate em bout much as you loved him
but
inside info , me to u, i dont think that hes happy anymore
so i guess me and you won, just let me deal with the rest.
I been 
Blowin toxins
in my  room
i been doin fine
w out u 
yeah i loved him but
inside info , me to u, i dont think that hes happy anymore
so i guess me and you won, just let me deal with the rest.

inner_child (jabarionthebeat x jelly x dreamboyy)

10 seconds and im in
based
flipped visions got erased
faced
with the painful truth 
that i dont give a fuck
i dont know what works
but i know 
i was the first
and ill always be the worst
x2

in a different state 
fuckin blacked out
they dont know my name
huh, its how it stays now
yeh
id really
like it
if you kept my name in ur mouth
cus i wanna be talked about
fuck it if i roundabout
spent my life being kicked around
a to the m to the gay 
to the "what the fucks this kid sayin?"
i
dont
get around
i just wanna be grounded

10 seconds and im in
based
flipped visions got erased
faced
with the painful truth 
that i dont give a fuck
i dont know what works
but i know 
i was the first
and ill always be the-

worst.
but anyway,
im scared
that im not gonna make it farther than i am
right now
and i struggle more than i ever have
but now its different shit
and i guess i gotta write about it 
why u stayin in this life if u not really all about it?
im just an angsty teen with the same shit 
that you deal with,
so whats special bout it?
fucking nothing.
i dont deserve any of this shit,
so gimme nothing.
but they'll always be a side of me that wants somethin,
live a life,
maybe fuckin god damn be somethin.

0 seconds and im in
based
flipped visions got erased
faced
with the painful truth 
that i dont give a fuck
i dont know what works
but i know 
i was the first
and ill always be the worst
x2

what works? (valious & maxflynn)

produced by wisssery & jolst
i feel a little like my face is melting
and my truth is shaping 
into something that i dont want it to be
i dont want it to be
and i cant even change it
even if i fucking wanted to
but i dont :p
but i dont.
no i dont
no i dont
oh i dont
oh i dont
no i dont
no i dont
its easy to not care when youre fucked up
feeling despair has never been so familiar 
the grass is green and the sun is bright, but
you wont get me out my room tonight
out my room, room
out my room, room
out my room, room
room, room, room.
out my-
yeah
fuck writing
i just needa find a beat and throw my thoughts inside it
woah
woah
woah
woah
yeah
fuck biking
to your house in the freezing cold
frost bite on my god damn nose
where'd you go?
who fucking knows.
where'd you go?
who fucking knows.

frostbite (wisssery & jolst)

All Along (prod. Irby)

no consideration (sogimura)

emptychest

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heartless

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