helldivers 2

Alen as Pico
Cole as Hank
Written by: Alen & ColeTheCole
Mixing & Mastering / Announcer: Light
Beat Produced by: Marsad Men
Thumbnail by: Jordy

(0:10)
FAC RAP BATTLES
PICO
VERSUS
HANK
BEGIN

(0:20) Pico:
Wanted posters everywhere; I’ve got the heat in gun and pen
But I’d get second hand embarrassment having you dead again
I come packin’ two gats, on the track I’m spreadin warfare
I would love to see your arms, if your ass actually had a pair
Cut you off, like your scalp, cause I’m going for a combo 
Using this uzi oughta crush a clone worse than Piconjo
Endanger the masses? There’s no way that I’ll spare ‘ya
‘Cause this Convict’s came to my town and he’s messing with the sheriff!

(0:40) Hank:
Somewhere in Pennsylvania, Fulp began to make new ground
A ‘site made to give the net’s first gifted creators huge ground
Alongside all the art pieces, this edgy little nuisance came
Who’s now only remembered for his presence in a rhythm game
Combat’s in the name, I’ve resided in Hell slaying Gods
The most you’ve done’s shot some alien children and aggressive goths
So, for you to defeat me? That weed’s getting you trippy
I haven’t seen a bigger clown running amuck since Tricky
You kid me? Your rapping ain’t doing nothing to Hank, man
With those shots it’s no wonder you’re in the shadow of Tankman
Got Earth on my back, you’re learnin’ bout apples and oranges
I’d kill ‘ya with sick rhyme but you’ve already a disorder, kid 
Been here nineteen years and counting, meanwhile, your status:
No sequel for two decades now? That’s what I call Madness
Be it verbal or physical, in a battle, you’d be canned
Gettin’ blammed ‘out this duel - a fate by your own hands

(1:22) Pico:
Talkin about relevancy? You don’t really have a front
Take a lesson from Deimos and learn to keep your mouth shut
I’m serious, keep spittin’ all this garbage shit within your lines
I’ll make sure that you end up with your jaw ripped off another time
Your bark is big for someone who’s continuously decomposing
Only living ‘cause his killers wish to keep the bloodshed going
And frankly, I’m content as a goated, one-time, big hit
Then start my tale decades ago and be fully unfinished
I mow down foes like they’re nothin; the Uberkids will tell you
Once I’ve got you in my sights, you’ll be begging Jesus to help you
You’re not impressing me, seeing how many times your life’s been closing off
You reigning here’s a case of the Improbability Drive going off
Your shit was gettin’ pretty hot, you got yourself a brand new bod
A mad metal monstrosity; reminding me of a Ghettobot
You’re tough but comin’ to rap it’s so clear that you just don’t fit
You are what you eat, my shots hit harder every time I spit
Lore’s a total mess, viewers begging for some clarity
Never dying; wish that held true for your popularity 
This battle’s done, the session's over; no need for us to fight on
What’d we learn today? Don’t fuck with Newgrounds greatest icon

(2:12) Hank:
This your attempt at scarin’ me? You ain’t getting too far
The Sheriff and his cronies posed more of a threat than you are
When Twitter caught an eye, you were doomed to be a dead boy
Went from a brave school hero to a cat ears wearing femboy
Even if your bars were hot, you’d still fail to have me stunned
Consider yourself steaming? I literally killed the sun
It sucks to do but you’ve rightfully earned this brutal schooling
I would say I’ve put this mutt down but Nene would start drooling
Such a mismatch; you’d never compare to what I’ve built, trash
Once this bout is over I’ll have your ass slaughtered like Flash
Your versus stunk, you’ll be forgotten; like your spur, you reek of evil
This kid’s an even worse joke than his April Fools sequel

Pico vs. Hank J. Wimbleton. Rap Battle #4

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