rap battles

Happy Holidays everyone! We're back again with a seasonal classic, it's the salty sea scourge, Blackbeard, pitted against everyone's favorite and iconic Christmas time mascot, Santa Claus! Enjoy!

CAST
Mancha as Santa Claus
Mr. Tibbs as Blackbeard

LYRICS:
SANTA:
Some fruit for your crew, some crackers for Polly
Leave hooks for the good, diss tracks for the naughty
Take a seat on my lap and let's get down to business
Tell me little Eddie, what would you like for Christmas

BLACKBEARD:
This saint he be missin’ what I want for christmas, I want to be like you (Yar)
Cop treasure aplenty, rob corporate plenty, booty for you and yer crew (Bars)
Can you spare a few doubloons from pockets deeper than the deep blue?
Now that ye wouldn’t do, Nick, it’s ye I see through cuz
Your ho-ho-hokie shit is so below me Davy Jones be
Drowning, he be choking on the sickly sweet baloney 
Yee be feedin’ to the children like yer more than just a fable
Christian pricks pitting their kids like several Cain & fucking Abels
Over gifts they get in scores, cause they did a couple chores
But they all tend to ignore, the creep peepin’ through their door
As you rummage through their drawers, hoggin’, downing all the noggin
Step away from the stockin’, Nick, it’s time for a floggin’

SANTA:
Ho ho hold up, I can’t stand the lies you spin cause
I won’t take the slag off the seadog who put the virgin in Virginia
Mad your shabby shanties don't match with my carol lines, huh?
Go take a Bath, not talking the Carolinas
Lit without the coal. Kick you in the south pole, but
It’s not on the pole with ya, Buy Coca Cola 
Pop your head like a screw-off cuz it’s best if you cruise off
Catch me on the roof, dog. Red dot on you like Rudolph
When I come in commandeering the deer and sleigh I’m seen in
Being loved by the masses is the only care I be in
But this scallywag wouldn’t know how that feels; unfortunate
Where’s your Christmas cheer? Keep your head up, as an ornament 
 
BLACKBEARD:
I owned the high seas, ye dined on milk and sweets
Wouldn’t hurt to spare a couple to the elves and Black Pete
A fate worse than with the fishes when all you get is hershey kisses
I be gettin’ naughty listed when I set sail with yer missus

Cover Art by Commander Jacob
Mixed and Mastered by Freshy Kanal

Blackbeard vs Santa Claus | GridLine Rap Battles Season 3

Welcome back everyone to the New Year! To kick off this (hopefully) busy year of GRB, we bring you Professor Oak vs John Madden, the Super Bowl special! This was written back in 2020 so not only is it written in a fairly old style, it was also written before the death of Madden. We mean no disrespect to him even though there is quite a lot of insults thrown his way. I hope you all enjoy!

CAST:
Swizkii as John Madden
Zawesome as Professor Oak

LYRICS:
JOHN MADDEN:
Alright, break, line up, we’ve only got four quarters
To take down an old man, too scared to be a real explorer
You’ve got a lot to learn before you step to the pros
It’s as much in the heart as it is the X’s and O’s
So here’s a guy who’s studied pocket freaks all his life
Who sends a kid away so he can bang a widowed wife
Your best invention’s an index and you still miss some info
Like don’t stick your head out a moving car window
I’ve thought of thousands of plays and plans for each game
You’ve learned 150 critters, but not your grandson’s name
Now it’s the end of my verse, let me give you the rundown
I’ve scored first on your ass, an opening drive touchdown

PROFESSOR OAK:
Hello there, welcome to the world of battle rap
I’m Professor Oak, fly enough to dish out wing attacks
When I rhyme, you decide between getting flamed, drowned, or vine whipped
You only touchdown when you drop your bag of chips
Oh, that’s new, my Pokédex just tracked an intrusion
An overweight, lazy, bastard; a Snorlax evolution
You’ll feel the Wrath when you’re spinning like a Poliwhirl
With those boobs I can’t tell if you’re a boy or you’re a girl

JOHN MADDEN:
I’ve got the cutting edge to chop Oak down to size
You can’t win a rap battle if you don’t flow on the mic
I’ll knock you on your ass like WHAM! BANG! BOOM!
I’m rocking more bootlegs than you got in kids’ bedrooms
Your studies get put to shame when a child claimed your fame
So get your head out of your ass and get your head in the game

PROFESSOR OAK:
Hey You, Drinkachu, you’re about to get zapped
When I pic my opponent, me and my Pokémon Snap
I already said I’m fly so you must have had enough of me
If not, I’ll be flipping this square like it’s Puzzle League
For a color commentator, you seem pretty pale
And when EA's in the game, that's an automatic fail
Now your fame was Raided before you knew what was happening
Even got kicked off the box art, it must be Madden-ing
I roll like a Voltorb; sparking tracks with my rhymes
You’ve been Super Bowled over, the box score never lies

Cover Art by Commander Jacob
Mixed and Mastered by Freshy Kanal

Professor Oak vs John Madden | GridLine Rap Battles Season 3

Written by Grasman
Funtime foxy: RaccoonBroVA 
Mettaton: Quizzique 
Mixed by Dani
Edited and animated by Grasman 


Mettaton:
Lights! Camera! Action! It’s time for my debut 
Can't believe it’s gotta be against one of Afton’s fursuits
I appreciate you tuning in, but let’s get something straight 
You gotta built in kiddie lure-er but still can’t attract a mate
Got my face on a billion screens, fan scream when I enter the stage 
While your gender got your fanbase more split than your face plates 
I was made to entertain, wishing I’ll be seen by the human race! 
But I’m having second thoughts based on Scott’s constant Furry bait..
Mettaton EX:
Oh yes! This hunk a’ junk is lackin’ glamor, darling.
I doubt even Alphis could fix this clown’s demonic stare (Oh yes)
I suppose you do a decent job at scaring 
But the real horror here is how this was aloud to be on air 

Funtime Foxy:
It’s time I deliver! A performance was demanded of me!
I heard I was fighting a singer, then who the hell is this freak?
It’s shocking, I thought I was the once with interesting design choices 
But who the hell decided where to place your self-destruct button!
Show no more your show, you’re plaguing my TV
I ain’t seen a singing robot this cheesy sense Chuck E.
I’m bringing joy and happiness to little kiddies 
You’re bringing another reason to hate reality TV
Fursuit? Really? Now that’s just a wrong diss
And least my creator doesn't look like he got jaundice 
There’s only one space on the stage, and you’re trying to rap on it?
I take away the mic, go ask Mike, and then I drop it 

Mettaton EX:
You’re just another lazy recolor, made from other robots smelted 
Guess this’ll be the third time you’ve been burnt so bad you melted
I admit, you’ve been built high tech, hell you gotta voice changer
So why not try to mimic the speech of a decent rapper!

Funtime Foxy:
I know a thing or two about kids in stripes
And i'm still in shock how you lost that fight
I don't fail to deliver, fans have demanded an Encore!
I expected heat from someone coming from the core

Funtime Foxy VS Mettaton- Bonus Battle! (Fr. RaccoonBroVA & Quizzique) [2023]

Welcome to episode 2 of TableTop Rap Battles, where these absorbers of orbs take bites out of each other!

Danii as Hungry Hungry Hippos
https://www.youtube.com/@SwaggyFlan
Fightmarker as Pac-Man
https://www.youtube.com/@fightmarker

Written by Quizzique
Mixed and Mastered by Zagranis
Beat prod. by InsaneBeatz
Art by WAN
Thumbnail by Quiz

Hungry Hungry Hippo (0:11)
If you wanna win the game, you gotta take good aim
Not roam around a maze searchin’, for some ghosts to maim
It’s a household name, with the childhood acclaim
You think you’re the same, but your console fame is down the drain

It’s a race, it’s a chase, hurry up and feed my face
The only phantom here’s your cabinets now haunting the arcades
I was entertaining kids before they made your ugly mug
While your memes only pleased Gen Z til you got swept under the Rugg

Pac-Man (0:33)
This hippo with the fattest waist wants to face it up and fight?
It’s a hunk of plastic waste against the greatest of all time
I eat a track like power pellets, better start to flee like Clyde
If you’re so damn hungry hungry then I’ll serve you by the slice

Yo, you say my game’s the ghost while you eat dust at Hasbro
Think you’re family friendly? You got kids slapping your ass, bro
You must’ve lost your marbles, like your film’s producers, they got scattered
Then a child found them, and now your whole gag’s a choking hazard

Hungry Hungry Hippo (0:56)
All those burns are useless, man, I got redeemed by ICE
I eat your flames and spit them back, your fire hydrant won’t suffice
Trapped inside a haunted maze, is eating pellets such a struggle?
When your brand feeds off of you so much, should really call it Nom-co

I’ve got a conga line, you couldn’t conjure lines to buy your shit
Franchise is half-assed, so it makes sense Midway acquired it
This nerd should know he can’t compare to the bite of a hippopotamus
Because my stomach’s like your fall from grace: Bottomless

Pac-Man (1:19)
Your redemption’s like a plastic broken jaw, there still ain’t no budgin’
Shit’s as trusty as your tournaments, they both got Rogue Judges
My fruity power-ups demolish all your Veggies
Cover genres, while your online fanbase is just like your teeth: edgy

They call me Puck Man, you’re just a Piggy Punk, man
You’re outta luck, man, I don’t give a fuck, man
Gaming mascot 1, groups of 3-4, I eat ‘em all
So you can call me Level 256, ‘cus I’m unbeatable

Hungry Hungry Hippos vs Pac-Man - TableTop Rap Battles #2 (ft. Danii and Fightmarker)

Written, Recorded, and Thumbnail by JesseBox
Beat Arrangement, Mixing and Mastering by Freshy Kanal
Guitar Riffs by YuugenVinny

Special Thanks to Freshy Kanal, Yuugen Vinny, Snakebite126, Shimario, My Parents and The Bikini Bottom❤️


Jinx:
Aw a fellow blue haired bitch thinkin’ she wants some
Your “nakama” and “kumbaya” shit don’t work where I come from
Keep your fairy tails away from me, I’m not afraid to fucking rip your face off, I’m droppin bombs on top this creepy stalker

Like Pow! I’ve got an arsenal with weapons galore
Been on the roster for a decade and still the players want more!
Your tacky fanservice is almost cute, but terrible still
I liked you better as a rock girl, or when you had guts to kill 

I mean, c’mon, chick, you could’ve been so badass!
Instead your writers picked one gag and then played that trash for laughs
And I mean, no one even knows your dumb kid’s series anymore
Potential and relevance down the drain, need I say more?

Juvia: 
I’ll have you know that I am doing just fine
Cause I know how to aid my friends when their lives are on the line
You’re a reckless child, meddling while the task was being handled
Had you just been mature, Vi could’ve still had Vander

I’m an Ex Element four, was S class in Phantom Lord
I’ve the scars to prove my passion and agony I’ve endured
And my guild believed in me to change for good when I was wrong
Your family never had that trust, and thanks to you, they’re all gone

All your punches do is phase through me due to my water power
And I will not be shaken, I’m cool like rain that will shower
Except in Jinxes’ case, all it takes is words to confound her
Crush her like Mylo and Claggor and turn her back into Powder

Jinx:
*groans* That isn’t me, don’t call me that
I can feel all their pain, the monsters are coming back
I can’t take it any longer, your attacks, they’re much stronger
And I- *pfft*… haha.. HAHHAHAHAh

You can’t meet the damage I’ve done
You peaked during your season one
And what you call love is just an obsession that you manifested, and it’s fuckin’ scaring him off

He’s annoyed by you
And girl, the viewers feel the same too
Only Mashima’s shitty writing could’ve given you
A world where Gray even tolerates you!

Juvia:
What did you say?
About my Gray?
I’ll make you pray that you stayed in your lane or met an early grave like where your parents lay!
Don’t play with this rainwoman
I’m not afraid of a thieving rat with nothing to her name

Who do you think you are? You’re not the savior of Zaun
Cause all it takes is pink hair to take this failure off guard!
This poor pathetic schizophrenic should just quit while ahead
Thought she found her calling, then her THIRD father ended up dead

And by your hands no less. 
Just loss after loss and this one was bound to be next
Keep causing problems and problems are all that you’ll get
Past the point of help
I’d say that you were cursed but Vi said it better herself

Jinx vs. Juvia Lockser - Jesse’s Rap Battles

Boy do we have some stuff in store for you, to celebrate the release of an odd amount of huge name things, we would like to kick off this party with a nice, simple bonus. It's the world wide renowned doll, Barbie, up against the iconic character from Pixar's Toy Story franchise, Buzz Lightyear! Enjoy!

CAST:
garbageGothic as Barbie
Mr. Tibbs as Buzz Lightyear

LYRICS:
BARBIE:
It’s Barbie, bitch, I Mattel it how I see
On that girl boss shit, real power in the rap scene
Even in your own universe, you’re a has been
That Chris Evans performance? wack shit
That’s not to imply you were all that in the first place
Your biggest development was kinda getting to first base?
You got classics, but by now you’re flatlined
Then Disney said, Doctor stat, revive the franchise

BUZZ LIGHTYEAR:
Specifically designed for the movies (unique)
Specifically designed for fake bougie (boutique)
When my duty lies with the beat, I get groovy
I’m Margot robbing the track, so sue me
You can be what you want, so lemme give you some pointers
Maybe wish to be someone who has better lawyers
When you’re 0-13, it’s embarrassing, honestly
That’s karma for Bild-ing your name off German property

BARBIE:
Star command, this is Barbie, come get your ranger there’s 
No signs of intelligent lines anywhere
Need a demo mode for off the dome improvement
But what’s expected from discount storm trooper recruitment
Wanna talk names, with the story this toys avoiding?
Try again when you start paying Buzz Aldrin royalties

BUZZ LIGHTYEAR:
You elect to keep it safe can’t take a leap of faith
Yet those straight to DVDs still ended up DOA
Times up for you as a cultural icon
And with markets devolved down to scalpers and wine moms
An outdated case of femininity in years gone
While I’ll stay beloved to infinity and beyond

Cover Art by Commander Jacob
Mixed and Mastered by Musiclide
Art by Luke Reardon

Barbie vs Buzz Lightyear | Gridline Rap Battles Bonus

Lyrics / Beat / Trivia: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1rCihnVG-eBemWzWpO08DlprhpBXILTaJDDqK1wnTKLE/edit
Shimario as Pit
Peachumari as Undyne
garbageGothic as Palutena
Written by MetaMachine and GamingPlush64
Mixing by Serena
Thumbnail by JK03
Beat by Marsad Men
Hint for next time: "Apex Leaders"

Undyne vs. Pit

Thumbnail created by: Matthew
Mixed by: Matthew

WHO WON?
https://rb.gy/3s4ek

docs.google.com/document/d/1QlxXtURULGYfPteARDyjWimmeQuqxnQeakclhxSD5_I

Chao vs. Matthew

B-Lo Lorbes as Mordecai
Miss4yo as Twilight Sparkle
Kari4ever as Pinkie Pie
Justin Buckner as Applejack
RandomBronyWhovian as Rarity
Stofferex as Fluttershy
PaletteReviews as Rainbow Dash
RandomBronyWhovian as Spike
Anthony Perry as Rigby
DH Films as Muscle Man
Matthew Thomas as High Five Ghost
Mat4yo as Pops
Stofferex as Skips
itsannachloem as Princess Celestia
WoodenHornets as Benson

Mordecai vs Twilight Sparkle 3. Epic Rap Battles of Cartoons 34

Dani Frias as Happy Appy and the Good Doctor
JustGamer as Dr. Kawashima, Dr. Evil, Dr. Strange, Dr. Han
Written by JustGamer
Additional Help by Danii
Beat by Anywaywell, Syko, Epistra, Dansonn
Mixed by Danii
Cover art by Rabi

Dr. Kawashima:
Hello I’m Dr. Kawashima, neuroscientist
When my mind is sharp, and on time, there is no out-rhyming this
It’s undebated, I stay Brain Ageless
You were flavor of the month, but this apple’s tasteless
Your creator expanded on the story in hopes that it would stay
I couldn’t finish a micro game before you lost all your fame
With that, I hope to see you back tomorrow to play again
Cause with the two of us, I ate you up, that makes a perfect ten

Happy Appy:
Howdy children! Happy Appy’s back to spit some more!
Today’s opponent looks like MODOK on N64!
And I’m not talking planes when I say that I’m the flyest
When all you helped with was to justify the existence of a stylus!
A game based on a book? How’d you ever get attention?
Even I’m not as insistent with teaching kids lessons
You’re slowly being replaced with other brain teaser games
But an apple a day will keep this doctor away!

Dr. Evil:
It’s time for Dr. Evil to become be the best rapper
I’m eating this track up like I was Fat Bastard
I have rap laser lines, best of luck bozo
And if you win I’ll go back in time and steal your mojo
Spitting image of evil spitting in this dope ass outfit
A stick up your butt is what you walk around in?
And the way you scare children, you must be clownin’
Why go for nine eleven when you can have a thousand?!

Happy Appy:
Ooo seems this spitter’s come up short like a Mini Me
Ooo no villain from your squad could help you kill the beat
It’s in your name but you’ll be surprised to find you’re
Third place in the ranks of Evil Mike Myers
Tearin' this parody 'cause he can't outflow
Should be aware as a funny spoof film? How 'bout no?
And with two decades later, your movies’ fame fully fades
But an apple a day will keep this doctor away!

Dr. Strange:
Stephen Strange enters the battle, I’ve come to bargain
Got the Eye of Aga-dope flow to make my bars hit!
Even Wong wouldn’t…….oh no……

Dr. Han:
Dr. Murphy please let’s continue this conversation at a later point if we can
There’s some sort of cross mix between Annoying Orange and an apple, let’s get him on a medication plan
There he goes, he’s a good doctor though he can be a strongly erratic man
But at least he’s great at saving the kids that you tried to kill inside of your van

Seriously, targeting children? That shit’s truly sick
Are Roblox threads how you find those kids? 
I work at a hospital, I’ve seen plenty of gore
But that horror makes me wanna shake you at the core
Better keep my mask on when I’m spitting with flow
Make a bigger splash than you with only four episodes
Syringes don’t scare me, nor will they hurt me
Leave this apple roasted when I’m fired up like Murphy

Happy Appy:
Wanna talk about firings, well how about yours?
Don’t let that bad writing hit you on your way out the door
And your show knows it’s pretty easy to make you the villain
But you’ll end up LIKE MIRANDA, WHEN I GET TO KILLING
I ENTER THE HOSPITAL LIKE A PLAGUE UPON THE LAND
WITH BLOOD THAT ISN’T MINE SPLATTERED ALL ACROSS MY HANDS
DR. HAN DIES NASTY, WHEN I BRANDISH A BLADE
CAUSE AN APPLE A DAY KEEPS THIS DOCTOR AWA-

Dr. Han:
That’s enough out of you, you think those scary words and that creepypasta could make me give a fuck?  
Well you might as well call me Nick Jr Appy, cause I’m about to go ahead and pull the plug
No need for Forenziks, I’m able to find that it was boredom that killed all of your thrills
You want something that will really terrify people? Wait until I send you the bill

Dr Kawashima vs Happy Appy - Smash Bros vs Anything

Nighteye : RaccoonBroVA
King Kai : MetaMachine

Written by Kamren.
Beat Prod. : MTC Beatz
Mixed by Kamren

Nighteye :
Mirio, if you're trying to amuse me, forget it 
'Cuz I refuse to laugh from Roshi's sloppy seconds
You're slow as a turtle when getting to the punchline
I'll blitz through like Piccolo, you're wasting my time
My students smile for a brighter future
For generations to come at the cost of my life 
Yours doesn't know a thing about humor
'Cept he went home to his wife while you wait for the revive
I'll predict all the shit you'll say and switch it around
Can't say if I got jumped when the Ginyus Forced in your house
You won't get my stamp of approval 
So come take the pen from me and tell me how you've been crucial

King Kai :
That verse was a joke? You're gonna have to be more clever
Not one single chuckle, even Yamcha's done better 
And I don't mean the monkey when you're playing Bubbles dirty
But you're gonna get chased with that machine so... quirky
Now that's how to do a pun!
Though my antennas couldn't find for me to give a puck
Dude you’re a lousy schmuck, and what's worse, bud?
Got that foresight for luck, and still got a hole in your gut

Nighteye :
Don't you dare mock me for the sacrifice I made
Goku flocked to escape when got played by Cell's game
Makes sense why you're blue faced, choked when you catch fades
A God of Destruction the way you're scared, I'm wide awake!
Midoriya can't press me, what made you think you could?
Didn't need a spirit bomb, one verse was all it took
To send the North Kai south, and with that you're out
Not just a trash talking half pint, you're that and a clown

King Kai :
Don't even have the weights on but I'm dragging you downright 
Might as well call up.. oh wait! Sorry, the clock's hands' tied
You couldn’t walk a mile in my shoes, let alone Snake Way
A second rate Aizawa that Horikoshi left erased!
The future's set in stone? Let's take a look at your third year
All that kid end up doing was showing off his rear
He lost his quirk.. then got it back? Ironically tragic
Your final moment blew up in your face worse than Planet Namek
Have Eri rewind this battle cuz I'm twisting your film reel
Since you're more full of yourself than Goku eating a meal
But hey, thanks for the fun! I'm sure we'll meet again
When you arrive on my planet with a halo above your head


Sir Nighteye vs King Kai - My Hero Academia vs Anything! #11 (ft. RaccoonBroVA and MetaMachine)

There was going to be artwork, but Photoshop decided to crash, so artwork coming soon I suppose. Enjoy the battle! :)

Epic Rap Battles of Pokemon #14
Snorlax vs Slaking
Begin!

Slaking :
Straight out of Petalburg to show you what you're Snorlacking
My high attack stat is barely Normal, prepare for some attacking
you've just got Thick Fat, a Hammer Arm is what I've packing
Quit snacking, the whacking cracking swagger is Slaking!
You make me yawn, what's going on? One hit and you'll be gone!
Climbing up higher with my brawn, call me King Kong!
You've sure got gluttony, but no immunity in this rap battle
Defense Curl up, since you're too sleepy to even use tackle!

Snorlax : 
You dare to wake me up? Like paths your disses I block
I crunch and munch this sloth who's just Slacking Off!
You might have good stats, but your potential is ruined
Cause every other turn, you just sit on your ass and Truant
Eating fruit, then beating you, I'm the best you've ever seen
Feel the rhythm of my Belly Drum as I Chip you Away with rhyme schemes
You're making my hyper, like a beam! I'm on Ash's damn team!
Now it's time to take a nap, you go rap while I dream

Slaking :
YOU'RE OBESE, SO PLEASE, you will never get this win!
I compare with a legendary, I got more skill than you got chins
As you eat up my disses, you ain't getting more slim
You're out of shape, but you can still find me in the Gym!
Right beside Norman, my power is at Max, I'm getting hostile
Coveting the mic, now May I show you ass-whooping Petalburg Style?
I'll leave you consuming Leftovers, go back to blocking routes
This was your Punishment, you can suck my Pokéflute!

Snorlax :
I could talk in my sleep and still be standing tall
I'm also in SSB. Brawl, time to put you to Rest once and for all
Evolving through friendship, I am what every trainer wishes for
You're such a bore, I've got more in store when I use Snore
A challenge? Rollout out of town! You're just loafing around!
I've got such a Heavy Slam since I weigh over a thousand pounds!
My lyrical Giga Impacts sure showed you you shouldn't face me
This languorous languid laggard is only good at being lazy!

Snorlax vs Slaking. Epic Rap Battles of Pokemon #14.

Alvin:
We’re attracting audiences all around the world, you’re just annoying inbreds
I could see something more entertaining from a fucking house pet
Your show was cancelled, and yet our movies are still going!
And your ratings were slowly slipping down the tree without notice.

Simon:
It’s clear to see you guys don’t have any talent so don’t pretend 
What do you do? we’re singers, musicians, this’ll be your chipper end

Theodore:
Why are we even rapping against these chumps? The chip and dale show was shit.
You gonna put up fist to fists when you don’t even have wits to defeat this!

Chip:
Hey Dale, (Dale) Yeah! (Chip) Wanna hear about these chunky chips all in a nutshell?
Well one day, they stood up to us, the rescue rangers, (Dale) CHIP AND DALE
Dale:
You’re a real pop group? Well then I’m guessing you suck!
I’ll buck yall, you better duck, after this you’ll be in the rough.
Chip:
you can tal  k but you can’t think, could you even be more stupid.
(Dale) All your known for is novelty singing (Chip) How did they get their own movie?!
Dale:
Who the fuck are the chipettes? Your show makes no sense (Chip) It makes nothing
By the end not only dave will be the one shouting (both) ALLLLLVVIIIIN!

Alvin:
We make our own songs, not winding up Donald Duck in the park

Theodore:
We rap like the tree you live in cause we go hard like bark!

Simon:
I knew my calculations we’re right, you’re both gonna lose.

Alvin:
Heck, even Gadget Hackwrench is a better character than you!

Theodore:
We got a cartoon, 3 hit movies, and we will always live on 

Simon:
How you gonna compete with us? Nobody even knows you anymore, sons!

Alvin:
We will always win, no way these little pricks can beat us! 

All:
A new hint single, Disney character rip-off’s defeated by The Chimpmunks!

Dale:
Theodore really needs to lay off all the snacks!

Chip:
And Simon, shut up you nerd, I’ll break your glasses and

Dale:
who could ever stand you, you’re more annoying than fred
when rapping against us, you’ll never get a good success 

Chip:
Its fucking Both: Chip and Dale, you’re not even trying!
At the end of this battle WE’LL LEAVE YOU DEAD AND CRYING!

Dale:
We’ll get rid of your stupid singing and make your entire existence expired!

Chip:
That’ll teach you not to mess with Chip and Dale: Rescue Rangers!

Alvin and the chipmunks vs Chip N Dale. CartoonMadeRapBattles Season 2

Anthony Perry as Chris Griffin
Zack Maloney as Bart Simpson

Lyrics:
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF CARTOONS!
CHRIS GRIFFIN!
VERSUS!
BART SIMPSON!
BEGIN!

Chris Griffin:
I think it’s time to draw how this little punk is going down
The way he’s challenging me got him acting like a clown
It’s not Chris to you, it’s Hatboy, bitch!
But instead, call me Homer, ‘cause I’ll choke you with my disses!
I’m delivering these lines, like how I deliver Newspapers
You dumb phoque, I need to eat a marshmallow so I’ll finish you off later
Write this down on the chalkboard, all you do is cause trouble
There’s no use for you on the show, so go skateboard out of this battle!

Bart Simpson:
I’m Bart Simpson, who are you, tubby?
It’s sad that comparing you to your dad, you’re more chubby
I’m a Simpson, you’re just from some messed up family
How can I take you seriously, you get amused by giggling keys!
You already lost this one, just listen to my crowd
Hell, if Ralph ever saw you, he would be like “I hate men now!”
You think you’re going to win, I think you have lost it
I’ll be more scarier than the monkey hiding in your closet

Chris Griffin:
You’re just some yellow turd, with a show that’s a pile of concrete 
You planned to get married, even though you’re younger than me
I’ll make you feel ashamed that you're bully will say 
Nelson Muntz:
Haha!
Chris Griffin:
Cause at the end of this, you’ll be screaming “Ay caramba!”
Bartman has just begun, I already took him down
I’ll be chilling with my dad, go back to making out with Milhouse  
I can make a better rap even when I fart
By the end of this, we’ll rename this episode to Dead Bart

Bart Simpson:
All you are is a copy of your dad, with even less brain cells
I'll take you down faster than what I did to Krabappel
When I leave you beheaded just like Jebediah, no one will get mad
The chance of you winning is more freaky than you marrying your dad
Now I have to admit Chris, you are quite  a well rounded kid
But its pretty sad when even Meg thinks you’re retarded 
Don’t ever try to fuck with Cupcake Kid, or else, you’ll be hurt
I won this fight fair and square, now go back to making out with Herbert

WHO WON?
WHO’S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF CARTOONS!


Chris Griffin vs Bart Simpson. Epic Rap Battles of Cartoons 40

Creepy Black - Stofferex
Lost Silver - VideoGameRapBattles
BRVR - Justin Buckner
Buried Alive - WoodenHornets
MissingNO - RLYoshi
Strangled Red - HyperJacob96
White Hand - Frenzy
Hypno's Lullaby - MaNCHA
Lavender Town Syndrome - Emo Owl
Ash's Coma - Mat4yo


Lost Silver:
I'M DEAD but I want to be alive to spit this message to you
Turn back now or you'll be sent straight to your doom
Cyndaquil says HURRY because this ghost will be Unown
I'll leave you in chains like all the Pokemon I own
The forgotten hero haunts this spawn of lavender town
This is the battle of your life, the run option's not allowed
LEAVE or it'll be your soul that I will pilfer
In this battle of horrors, you’ll take a second place Silver!

Creepy Black:
Black's here to hack through your Silver Soul and brain!
You think you can win? Man the word lost is in your name!
Ghost is in your party, the Lavender Town sprite spirit
I'll Curse you first, even though in Generation 1, that move wasn't in it!
You can't step to me! Hell, you can't step at all!
You can't catch this brawling ghost inside a Pokéball!
You're too scared to move, you're about to get owned!
And on the place I'll finish you off there will stand a tombstone

Lost Silver:
NO MORE! Enough of your rhymes giving me Frustration
You can't one-hit KO me this fight will be MY domination
Celebi can sing a Perish Song then have  Pain Split
Your data will be erased, Rest in 8 bits

Creepy Black:
Don't be giving me that Mean Look or i’ll use my curse ability!
You’ve already Lost, Silver, when you come up against me
I murder every Trainer I faced, don’t even bother to fight
It’s time I put you to sleep, cause this is your very last night!

BRVR:
Do you still love me? If not, I’ll use my thunderbolt
I know you'll never leave once I catch your souls
It’s so cold down here, but my rhymes are still hot
Like what my owner did to me, I will leave you all to rot
None of you jokes know the pain that's going on in my chest
I know you’re lying to me, when you said your disses are the very best
I would rather die than listen to your lame excuses of raps!
When you see my plushy in the room, it'll end in a bloodbath 

Buried Alive:
Let me come out from the ground and make you stop your strife
My time to shine and finally rip apart your lives,
It's over, Pikachu, nowhere to run and nowhere to hide
'Cause all you flee in fright when Buried Alive wants to fight!
It won't be tame when I glitch your game, you three'll never be saved
Cause my claim to fame, taking jokes like you to your graves!
Finally, fresh meat! I've been waiting almost a century
You're reached the final floor, NOW IT’S TIME TO GET BURIED!

MissingNO:
The true killer king has arrived to bring your demise
No one will be Missing you when I make you all die
Your pants you'll be shitting when MissingNO's spitting
These lyrics were written in the blood that's dripping
from your quitting barely-living head since I'm hitting and ripping
There's MissingNO way you'll win versus this verbal ass kicking
Time's ticking and ticking and I'm winning and grinning
I'm the glitching killing forbidden beginning of your spine splitting!

Strangled Red:
I have no reason to be here, but I'll take you all down anyways!
You guys thinking you're the best has driven me even more crazed!
In a world that cheated me, why should I play fair?
Just like me when Miki died, you'll all be driven to despair!
I'll kill you all!  I'm going to do it!  You don't wanna know what's going in my mind.
This win is MINE!  Your guys' victory is something you can't find!
Nothing can be saved now, prepare your necks!  I'll strangle you all, there won't be a reset!
When you step up to me, you'll end up dead!  With the last thing you see is the color of red!

White Hand:
I can’t believe that you all think you understand
you’re nothing, but at least now you’re in my hand
Crashing through this battle, rapping till you all faint from this happening
Taking over game, cuz your bodies aren’t the only thing I’m “hacking”
trust me, you’ll be Missing, with No one to find the remains
All of you fighting for supremacy, but you’re all rapping the same
Make all the noises you want, it’ll prove to be futile
When I rip you into pieces you’ll know I made this battle “BRUTAL”

Hypno’s Lullaby:
Come with me little children, safe and happy you all be
As you Rest in your beds and I devour all your dreams
Don’t cry, it’s fine, Hypno wouldn’t hurt a fly
Fortunately all of you are non-invertebrate slime
I gotta hand it to you, White, you at least proved you aren’t the worst
Because MissingNO blowed for every second of his verse
Hypno lied to you all, sorry, now you’re all dead and done
Stay with me forever, we’ll have so much fun!

Lavender Town Syndrome:
Come and listen to my song, I’ll make all your ears bleed
You’ll all be suicidal in this battle, don’t believe me? 
Step out of the cave, into the town and feel my power. 
More fearsome than the ghost Marowak who haunts the tower
Any child who plays me, will end up being dead and severed
I’ll corrupt all of you, showing you who should be feared!
You think you’re scary, I got zombie Pokemon on my side!
Challenging me to a battle, better get ready to hide!

Ash’s Coma:
I leave my home, start my journey all alone and 
no.. NO! i’ll leave YOU all in a coma!
Your theories aren’t eerie, they’re etherial diseases
I’m the leader, and I’ll turn you into ash for your treason
my vision’s blurry, i can’t see
i thought we were all a team, maybe this is all a dream, 
your existence is fiction, you rather hurt than feel hurting
Time to show you what I’ve learned on my pokemon journey!

Stage 1: strike you with the bolt of lightning in my pocket
Stage 2: ignite your fires and blast you like Team Rocket
Stage 3: water gun you down with flows you can’t test
Stage 4: make new friends and become the very best!

if this is all in my head, sprawled on a hospital bed
i’m forever in debt to recycle the R.E.M. 
Come on! you pasta peoples can’t quite catch up!
Well, this battle is done, so let me pull the plug!

Pokepasta Battle Royale. Epic Rap Battles of Pokemon #15.

Detective with OCD Adrian Monk battles 8-Bit Lawyer Phoenix Wright!

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!
PHOENIX WRIGHT!
VERSUS!
ADRIAN MONK!
BEGIN!

Adrian Monk
Here's the thing; I'm all set to kick this sorry man's rear
I've solved over a hundred cases since I started my career
You yell everything, you should've been fired on the spot
Unless I'm wrong about all this; which, you know, I'm not
Your messy porcupine hair could poke out someone's eye
Just stay in your little office; it's a jungle outside
When it comes to lawyers, Garrett Price was far more effective
Here's what happened, Mr. Wright; you crossed the wrong detective

Phoenix Wright
HOLD IT! Your statement is clearly faulty, Monk
Your show stunk; I bring justice for all to leave you sunk
You can't handle smudges on the wall or any number other than ten
Meanwhile, I got a crossover with Professor Layton
Solved fifteen-year-old cases, beat undefeated prosecutors
With only two or three days to investigate these murders
In this battle, I've clearly got an Edgeworth the victory
Go ahead, give me your testimony, however contradictory!

Adrian Monk
Here's what happened – I mean, here's what REALLY happened
You came after me, Nick, thinking you could beat me at rapping
But you forgot about a crucial piece of evidence
That crossover isn’t released in North America, when announced back in 2010
You made your debut on the DS; a piece of BS
My show was on ABC and ran for eight whole seasons
You were disbarred from practicing law because of a forged letter
Yet my job continues, so give up now; you'll thank me later

Phoenix Wright
OBJECTION! Witness, there is a clear contradiction in your testimony!
It's time for Turnabout Asswhoop for this piece of lonely
Trash; yes, the very same trash you're afraid to touch
I'll press the witness now, feel the adrenaline rush
ABC? The only letters you know are OCD
And I'll bet Dr. Kroger died because he couldn't handle giving you therapy
I'll blow you up like Trudy; clean you up, you're so filthy
The judge declares your rhymes OVERRULED and finds you GUILTY!

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!

Phoenix Wright vs Adrian Monk. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 21.

Epic Rap Battle Parodies

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