I know phill and springer but who polvich

Great battle and adding Dr. Phil was a great twist. I've been over you since Link vs. Dovahkin/Bronies vs. Trekkies.

JustGamer as Toru Iwatani 
RaccoonBroVA as Alexey Pajitnov 
RNG as the Announcer

Written by Oofie, RNG, MaviKartal2003, Dilly, KCToons, Pixel Chris, and Chandler_CCRB
Additional writing help by: Shimario
Mixed and mastered by Oofie	
Beat produced by Anywaywell
Beat edited and re-arranged by Oofie
Tetris theme re-created by Evrywunzf8vrite
Pac-Man instruments by Oofie
Demo by Oofie
Cover art by Oofie
Produced by Oofie
Special thanks to Freshy Kanal, GlitchDude, and Snakebite126

Toru Iwatani 
Press start in a fight with Toru? I assure you, I made the scene
If you wanna give your 2 cents, slot them into my game machine
Trying to run tracks through writing, as if you're some Ridge Racer
But now you’re being written on, like it’s your parents’ divorce papers
Got launched from the Soviets, just another cash grab block game
Yet you lost the top Notch status with Mojang’s mojo drop, dang!
I've turned pizza to pie charts, while Ls you're known to drop 
Mounting this brawl will leave you a loss, along with your son off

Alexey Pajitnov 
Think you're gaming’s OG? I set the revolutionary high bars
You and I aren’t even close to each other, just like your eyes are
The wacka-wacka-wack raps you spat are just hard to swallow
With your ghoul fellows, it's no surprise you're see-through and hollow
Even my pieces aren’t as blocky as the CG in your show is, man
You got that inky blinky pengame, sounds like it was ghostwritten
Though gotta hand it to you for the most-slotted game, it's a true fact
But you'll flip birds when even your own creation wouldn't even love you back!

Toru Iwatani 
Break off your blocks like it’s Gee Bee, leave you more green than the GB 
From arcade machines to your TV. When it comes to gaming, I’m beastly!
You can’t compare to my legacy, spawned countless crowds, looked upon me
Spilling the T more than your parity, patching you off like your home country!
I’m blasting off like the cathedral; you'll see, Pajitnov, we’re not equals
I gotta Hatris off, your work’s lethal; with your tactless thoughts like Pokhilko
The Iwatani from the Atari; your recent games have been no fun
I’ve got 99 problems with Tetris but this bitch ain’t one!

Alexey Pajitnov 
I'll turn the page like your textbooks, now who are you trying to fool?
Dropped out of Namco to teach, yet couldn't drop lines to get me schooled
You've appealed to the female crowd, but nothing is worth to boast it
When a flick based on your Pixels leaves all the theatre rooms ghosted!
Get on my level, dude! 256 bars is not needed for me to crash you
This will be your second failed Ghost Adventure you cannot pass through!
Easily got your boat rocked; while myself have my champion ship docked
As you’ve received ass kickings I Packed, man, from Russia with love! (Ugh)

Alexey Pajitnov vs Toru Iwatani - Rap Clash!

Bet you didn't see this one coming...

Cast:
Target: Supercoolguyjoe
Walmart: Justin Buckner
K-Mart: Nathan Provost
GameStop: RLYoshi
Toys R' Us: LazySundayPaper
Sam's Club: A good friend 
Walgreen's: MCGamingFTW
Kroger: WoodenHornets
Costco: HarryPotter2875
Mall: Mat4yo



EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
WALMART
VERSUS
TARGET
BEGIN

Target Employee:
I expected more from your shitty corporation
But I payed less, you have no high expectations
Always low prices? Bullshit, you know that's a lie
when you sell a pillow for the price of a golden chained tie
Wipe off that smiley face like you did with the retro star
Your deli reeks of a homeless boy who just came out of the bar
Get ready, Wal-Mart, I'm gonna stomp you into a flea market
I'll pull out my bow, because you are my next Target

Wal-Mart Employee:
Talk about pay less when your economy is high
Saying "Here pay 500 bucks for this cherry apple pie!"
You sell expired food, and you're calling me a fraud?
I'm the true superstore, scrap that, supergod
Save money and live better when I kick your ass, I'm lovin' it
Serving you frying rhymes with a Big Mac
I've got prices that go down lower than your mother
I expected more from you, stay on target, you bugger

K-mart Employee:
Attention, Kmart shoppers, we got a special offer, homie
The ass-kicking of Target and Wal-Mart for half price, limited time only
My cold rhymes will surely make you ship your pants
With these big gas savings, you'll be left in a trance
I got a gas station, a car wash, and a café!
This shit ain't about the price tags, yeah, listen to Jessie J
Discount your lines from this battle, Kmart's the one who'll win,
My raps are true bargains, yours just belong in the bin

GameStop Employee:
GameStop it already, you so-called corporations
Before I Bioshock you, Super Smash you like a PlayStation
You think you're superior enough to make everything you sell overpriced?
Have a five-dollar coupon and a Wii Points Card; buy yourself a life
My shops are all over the world with all sorts of awesome names
Micromania, MovieStop, Babbage's, EB Games
I've got an Impulse to tell you all that I'm the greatest retailer
So prepare to get crushed when I bring power to the players

Toys R' Us Employee:
KKKKKKK, yeah, shut the heck up and park it
Go back to your clan, and step out of the black market
I only have to open up my doors and the children come flooding in,
You break, you buy, so you better get on your ass, and start cleaning
You close your shop at 11 to have a break, I'm open all night,
 The only time I'd be a customer is to tell you I'm always right
I may be Toys R Us, but this battle belongs to me!
Screw Target and the 'marts, I make little kids happy!

Sam's Club Employee:
You can call me Sam's Club, bitch, I got the ultimate deals
Crushing you puny punks with my bulk, leave you in rubble, for reals
I'll put your ass on blast, you two marts and shit, selling everything on clearance just to market it
I'll start a fit with wits, so let me target this, you motherfuckers should know never to come at this
And GameStop, get real, what's with your shitty ass trades?
I'm attracting buying customers, leave all your stores deserted for days
And what's your giraffe ass gonna do? Splash me with a water gun?
You're just a Toys R' Us Bitch, insert pedophile pun

Walgreen's Employee:
Alright motherfuckers, welcome to Walgreen's
I'm the dopest pharmacy store, that you've done ever seen
I have a hell load of customers, but enough time to fuck you up.
I'll diss every aspect of you, from Wal-Fart to Gay-Stop
What would you guys be without me? Just one pile of shit
My service is twenty times faster, just go on and live with it
We bring pills, ointments and plasters in all kinds of colors
I'll bury you all alive with this shovel, only twenty-five dollars


Kroger Employee:
You cheesy crappy supermarkets ain't seen nothing yet
I've got better products than all of you, we don't even need to bet
What the hell is a Sam's Club? Man, just merge yourself with BJ's
You faggots, you literally proved that stores can be gays
You think you can outnumber me? Ha, you're really out of luck
If you're not satisfied with the product, I don't give a fuck
Toys R Us likes little kids? Huh, what a perv
This final line is like my checkout, cause you just got served

Costco Employee:
Clear your shelves, I'll shut you down, I'll be the number one retailer
 I'd say the same for you, but you're all just failures
These rhymes are just a sample of what I can do to you
I'll cream you punks and turn you into quality food
We're VIP, only the best deserve to enter
You drain the souls of all your shoppers just like a Dementor
You can't win, it's impossible; I'm afraid you've lost yo
So drop like my prices and bow down to Costco

Mall Security:
The greatest supermarket coming in, who you gonna call?
If you think you won't fall, then suck this mall's balls
I've been around for ages, yet you call yourself history?
When I was built, all you faggots wanted to come inside of me
Where else can you get a video game and a meal?
A mall is filled with everything, it's pretty much the best deal and
Without me, you guys would all have nowhere to live,
SO be thankful, otherwise I've got no K's to give
Wal-Mart, I got Paul Blart, Target, you're not God.
You aren't o-K-mart and GameStop's just got COD
Step into my food court, you won't be acquitted
Cause you're Walgreen of jealousy, fellas, you're all bitches just admit it
Isn't it a gimmick when you're pinning down the king
You're just little prick thrift shops, who think you can win it
Well it's time to lock up for the night, your shift's done
I've put you all out of business, and there are no refunds

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES

Walmart vs Target. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 30.

Improved Audio

HyperJacob96 as Josuke Higashikata
Rabi as Shigeyo “Mob” Kageyama
Mixed by Oofie
Beat Produced by 2Deep
Thumbnail by Jordy
Special thanks to Violet/MetalFireVA

Josuke:
With the rhymes I spit and diamond fists
I'm not one to break easily
It'll seem unfair, you'll need repair
To even have a chance at beating me
"Your powers don't define you"
Your series is too damn preachy
But need I remind you
You're a twig sized like Koichi
Looking like a Beatle, guess that's why you wanna hold hands
But you know as well I that with Tsubomi you got no chance
Rather play poker with Rohan, but I'll give you an honest start
Though I've made this fight ugly, just like your comic's art

Mob:
Going for the low blows
Shouldn't play me for a weakling
Don't knock my message JoJo
You think it's all fixed with beatings
They may call me mob but my combat's more Bad Company
And I'm like Okuyasu's bro, when I decide to run the beat
Refused to kill your foes, my respect for you's enormous
But sadly it dipped, when it spread to your performance
With this first verse, my words burst
And my lines don't need flesh buds
You're not the first foe who's hair I've had to mess up

Josuke(angrily as the beat cuts):
What the fuck did you just say about my hair

Josuke:
Let's break you down beyond the surface you're on Hazamada's jock
Any attempt to calm me's worthless
Bowl cut thinks he can't be mocked
Everyone's afraid of you, if they know you at all
That's why only cults have faith in you, all I can say is LOL
Like a stolen lotto ticket, got this fight fixed in my favor
Your town is seasoning, and on your own you're lacking flavor
Say your powers make no difference? Without em you couldn't fight
Your master said it's fine to run, and that's his only good advice

Mob:
We lose control of our emotions, but how you feel isn't fair
Maybe you shouldn't fly off cause somebody brought up your hair
Being buds with Okuyasu won't give you the advantage
Of handwaving your problems and expecting that they vanish
You're just like me, you see your power's not what makes you great
If anger controls you, you'll soon be more like foes you hate
You've got wounds beyond what can be fixed by phony healing
But sometimes you need to be hurt to understand other's feelings

Mob Vs Josuke - Rap Battle

Battle of the talk show hosts. Jerry Springer vs Maury Povich.

RLYoshi as Jerry Springer
Nathan Provost as Maury Povich
Justin Buckner as Dr. Phil

Lyrics:
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
JERRY SPRINGER
VERSUS
MAURY POVICH
BEGIN!

Maury Povich:
Now would everyone sit down, I'll tell you a story
"Maury Eviscerates Jerry", warning: it's slightly gory
You're a ripoff of Oprah Winfrey, you're a dead ringer
Serious pain is what I'll bring, you're going down, Jerry Springer
On your show, everyone's fighting, it's like glorified MMA
Here's a Shocking Sex Secret: you're gay!
I'm crushing you, this moment's being Caught on Tape
But you just keep sliding down that stripper pole, you skank

Jerry Springer:
It's time to reveal a piece of baggage, this won't be a shock
Maury is having A Current Affair with Rupert Murdoch!
You hosted a rigged quiz show, congratulations, bro
Well let me take the fact you blow and shove it in your face for show
You've got episodes and episodes about transsexuality
Now who are you to judge, ho? Just let it be
You're trying to act all serious by talking about gangs and shit
Well Maury Povich this is it, I recommend you just quit!

Maury Povich:
Just because Wilkos was security, you shouldn't act tough
You're a musician? Yeesh! Isn't your talk show bad enough?
All you do is sit in a chair and watch people wrestle
Your dad owned a shoe shop? Well wasn't your family successful!
You're looking stressed, why don't you take a breather
Don't wanna watch your own show? Gee, me neither!
You can't be fixed, loony, why do I even bother?
You've fucked up, Springer, and you ARE the father!

Jerry Springer:
Yeah, I have a kid, but he's legitimate, asshole
Just like one of those teenage girls you're out of control!
Time for the hard truth, Maury, you have no reason to live
And your rhymes are even worse than the advice you give!
I'm a true entertainer, take some lessons from me
I'll knock you right off the air and end your trash TV
You need to calm your ass down, man, you're getting too pissed
You're a psychologist if you take out the -logist

Dr. Phil:
Okay, you've had your glory, now you can give it all to me
I'm Dr Phil, and you need some help with your psychology
Now I'm not the kind of guy to say "Let's talk about your mother"
But as of last night, I guess you could say I'm her lover
Rumors spread like wildfire, but this one ain't bullshit
I know that you two are having a gay relationship
You two are so crazy it should be considered heresy
My lines will make you depressed you'll need my therapy
Your faces I will shatter and your ashes I will scatter
I just wanted to let you guys know, that you don't matter
I went in for the kill, since I can do things you can't fulfill
Problem solved, my new book, Defeated Fools by Dr. Phil

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!

Jerry Springer vs Maury Povich. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 32.

The March - Psycholonials OST 23

Written by ME!!!
CheeseVA as Weirdcore
BirdJormungandr as Clowncore
Mixed by Rayyan
Beat by Call me Brian 

(0:14) Weirdcore:
Are you alone? Where are you in your house?
Come on. Let’s play a fun game of cat and mouse. 
Where you have to escape the place that you’re in.
It’lll be hard since your community can't escape Accusations.  
and I wouldn’t say touching kids is just clowning around.
because the police lights are the ones causing the Seizures now.
I don’t think it’s cool. Using autistic kids to get views
There’s not mushroom for people in society like you.

(0:41) Clowncore:
What the heck was that? Jokes are supposed to be funny!
Really buying tvs for hats? Complete waste of money. 
I just don’t get it. What’s so weird about some eyeballs.
You're meant to be creepy but it’s your rhymes that get my skin to crawl. 
But I don’t worry because I’m just a super fun guy! 
While you replaced the creepy stuff with some stupid fungi.
These fun rhymes Will knock this kid out because it’s bedtime!
But if you wanna act so silly, mate. Get in the back of line!

(1:08)Weirdcore:
Do you hear the knocking? Do you hear the knocking?
You’re not safe. It’s way too late to start running. 
Playing dress up. I think no head will make you look cute. 
Tricking kids in your community, now their social life is on mute.
You do this for coping, clearly you’re struggling. 
So many issues for one clown to be juggling. 
So I have a solution to help with what you’re feeling.
Grab some “silly” string and finally hang yourself from the ceiling. 

(1:36)Clowncore:
Woah. Woah. Woah. Hey I’m just trying to have a little fun! 
You’re being bad! I would tell your parents if you had some. 
Honestly.You’re only like this because no one likes you.
So how about you blow your brains out like a balloon! 
Hiding behind a computer like a freaking Reject.
You wouldn’t do any of these things off the internet! 
All I do is put a smile on the face of people that need it!
You do nothing with your life! So go to your room and cry bitch!

Weirdcore vs Clowncore [NUGGET RAP BATTLES] (TW: for metion of pedos and suicide]

matan even VS greta thunberg

writing: me
voicework: me
poor mixing: me
beat: anywaywell

Matan Even

Hey, my turn. Yeah, I just want to nominate
Ms. Greta Thunberg for capturing Andrew Tate.
Now do something useful, something other than
Skipping school and shaking a cardboard sign at the government.

I’m champion of the world, king of the Game Awards
But half of them don’t even believe in what you pay towards
Try changing the people first or you’ll drop sooner
And slowly melt away, that’s just the tip of the Thunberg.

Greta Thunberg

Yeah, Greta Thunberg will soon drop a better verse,
‘Cause I take down groomers, you take spotlights from developers,
Just so you could nominate your rabbi Bill Clinton
But much like that award, you won’t actually be winning!

I changed the world by placing their aim at the climate!
Now the youth are saving the day, and I’m behind it!
While you’re tryna gain traction on Twitch, but you lost relevance
Your time in the Ring is up, it’s gone Elden, bitch!

Matan Even

I know you only spoke when you thought it was necessary
So those lines you wrote were a sign of illiteracy
Speaking of, you’re on the streets like you’re asking for loose change
You sound like you’re currently hitting the griddy for Ukraine

You’re forcing innocents to have a guilty conscience,
While I win every debate just spitting nonsense.
Your movement is useless, so shake fists at Putin.
My impact will always be bigger: carbon footprint

Greta Thunberg

How dare you? I’m making efforts against pollution
Your hairdo is more oily than the whole ocean.
You went from publicity to public harassment!
This is the second time you’ll hear awkward clapping!

It makes sense you got arrested after the show
This is what happens when you recycle lame jokes
When Twitter saw me burning fossils, it wasn’t gas!
They switched the tune to Thunberg, and turned @matanevenoff!

Matan Even VS Greta Thunberg - Rap Battle

Pokey vs. Cacturne - Mario vs. Anything!

Bird As Pokey

Cole As Cacturne 

Mixed by Jort

Written by King Ducky & King Wallace

Cover art by SPM1000

Beat prod. Anywaywell & Ennway

Pokey:
Lets go
I’m the dopest Pokey (yuh?) you’re a dopey Poke
I could destroy any lowly crony even if I’m snowy 
Got cold feet? (Hah) Freezing up from exposed heat 
You’re below me so unzip your mouth and blow me!

That needle arm is not unique, so prickly prick quit tryin’ to hit me
Not even special to Sidney, overshadowed by his Shiftry
And still this sucker’s sucker punch could never fucking fuck me up
Dumped on route 111? You’re the one who’s munchin’ dust 

Cacturne:
Guess what! It’s Cact’s turn and i’m Drain Punching a Pokey
Chew you up and spit you out like the tongue of a Yoshi
No matter which skin equipped, you’re still a damn bore
Either your flow is absorbed, or you miss me in a sandstorm!

The raps I spit are hazardous and damagin’ like spikes
Leave a loser hammered in like the mallet from Morton's fight
You burrow like a Diglett, yet I’ll still shock you like a Raichu
But at least you’ll be a boss after I once again mummify you!

Pokey:
Think you can defeat me? You’re as weak as cheep cheep
Your rapping is almost as bad as you spamming Leech Seed
I tower over ya, Cacnea’s just one of my different segments
Dropped from the anime, this mixed attacker got mixed reception!

Straight from Doki Doki Panic, now this Pokey’s flowing frantic
James disowned him so he's saddened, just a lonely coping has-been
Funny, the brainless Scarecrows actin' all tough 
When he's the one afraid of being smackdown by small bugs 

Cacturne:
You're a legless monstrosity, how are you gonna run tracks?
Given how you handle boomerangs, you wont like this comeback
You’re just a creeper, whether 64 or your Minecraft Mash-up
Mario’s party pummelled Pokey, this potato stacks button mashed-up!

Taken from another game, where you looked like a snot thread
Knock off, and I ain't talking bonking your bod till you drop dead
You blow hard! One of your various variants if you need to be informed
So I’ll leave this "fun guy" spiked up, even if he switched forms

Pokey vs. Cacturne - Mario vs. Anything!

Album: First Call
Track: 8
Artist: Groundbreaking

Judge Me

The "Just Bought My Childhood Home" by SARWoods continues! And tomorrow, we'll finally learn what was in the basement and why he's getting sick... what horror was locked up there...?

Video can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8D5SV6BMRrk

Read along! The story can be found here: https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/7l3gmo/just_bought_my_childhood_house_sick_update/?st=jckp3qwh&sh=45dcb200

Creepypasta Storytime (Disc 12)

Something in the Attic Made Me Sick by plaidrussel (3/4)

The original version of this battle was a bit lacking in my opinion, so I decided to re-mix the audio, with a freshly-edited beat.

Raichous as Mr. Freeze
Seth W. as The Ice King

Audio Mixing by Jugheadjay

Jerry Springer vs Maury Povich. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 32.

Epic Rap Battle Parodies

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