Rap Battles

Psy Vs Kim Jong UN: ARB

Battle of the talk show hosts. Jerry Springer vs Maury Povich.

RLYoshi as Jerry Springer
Nathan Provost as Maury Povich
Justin Buckner as Dr. Phil

Lyrics:
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
JERRY SPRINGER
VERSUS
MAURY POVICH
BEGIN!

Maury Povich:
Now would everyone sit down, I'll tell you a story
"Maury Eviscerates Jerry", warning: it's slightly gory
You're a ripoff of Oprah Winfrey, you're a dead ringer
Serious pain is what I'll bring, you're going down, Jerry Springer
On your show, everyone's fighting, it's like glorified MMA
Here's a Shocking Sex Secret: you're gay!
I'm crushing you, this moment's being Caught on Tape
But you just keep sliding down that stripper pole, you skank

Jerry Springer:
It's time to reveal a piece of baggage, this won't be a shock
Maury is having A Current Affair with Rupert Murdoch!
You hosted a rigged quiz show, congratulations, bro
Well let me take the fact you blow and shove it in your face for show
You've got episodes and episodes about transsexuality
Now who are you to judge, ho? Just let it be
You're trying to act all serious by talking about gangs and shit
Well Maury Povich this is it, I recommend you just quit!

Maury Povich:
Just because Wilkos was security, you shouldn't act tough
You're a musician? Yeesh! Isn't your talk show bad enough?
All you do is sit in a chair and watch people wrestle
Your dad owned a shoe shop? Well wasn't your family successful!
You're looking stressed, why don't you take a breather
Don't wanna watch your own show? Gee, me neither!
You can't be fixed, loony, why do I even bother?
You've fucked up, Springer, and you ARE the father!

Jerry Springer:
Yeah, I have a kid, but he's legitimate, asshole
Just like one of those teenage girls you're out of control!
Time for the hard truth, Maury, you have no reason to live
And your rhymes are even worse than the advice you give!
I'm a true entertainer, take some lessons from me
I'll knock you right off the air and end your trash TV
You need to calm your ass down, man, you're getting too pissed
You're a psychologist if you take out the -logist

Dr. Phil:
Okay, you've had your glory, now you can give it all to me
I'm Dr Phil, and you need some help with your psychology
Now I'm not the kind of guy to say "Let's talk about your mother"
But as of last night, I guess you could say I'm her lover
Rumors spread like wildfire, but this one ain't bullshit
I know that you two are having a gay relationship
You two are so crazy it should be considered heresy
My lines will make you depressed you'll need my therapy
Your faces I will shatter and your ashes I will scatter
I just wanted to let you guys know, that you don't matter
I went in for the kill, since I can do things you can't fulfill
Problem solved, my new book, Defeated Fools by Dr. Phil

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES!

Jerry Springer vs Maury Povich. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 32.

SORRY FOR UPLOADING AUDIO LATE!

SuperThingsOnCups as MARIO
RLYoshi as Sonic.exe

Lyrics:

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF CREEPYPASTA!
SONIC.EXE!
VS!
MARIO!
BEGIN!

Mario:
It’sa me Mario, that’s the name of the game,
Tom got scared of you? HA! what a fucking shame!
I’ll make your eyes not able to be found,
and play hide and seek, to not play the second round
This is my point of advice, you are gonna fucking lose,
Tails, Knuckles, and Eggman is more scarier than you.
There’s no way out of here, so you can’t fly away,
Go ahead and find me, I’ll just make this face.

Sonic.exe:
It must be a sunny afternoon, feel the heat?
the jpeg was weak, so I’mma unleash the beast.
You 2 foot tall round plumber, I’m better than you,
so suck my weiner, A.K.A. SMW.
-M-A-R-I-O- you’re a joke, bro, you blow,
I am about to crunch you like Yoshi’s binary code.
I'll rip off your mustache and stick it it up your ass
you're too slow bitch, I'll murder you fucking too fast

Mario:
Letsa go! I’m gonna stomp you hard like a goomba,
your game is boring while mine is truly super!
Just face the fact that I’m better than you,
atleast my fucking story was actually true!
Welcome to the yellow switch trail! you’ll never get out fast,
I can make 1,000 disses when I play in the grass!
It might be Mario’s Suicide, but you’re still gonna die,
you think you’ll win? but is there anything I can do to change your mind?

Sonic.exe:
Those bitches and me in the same sentence? WHAT A RIOT!
I see you're looking for a win here, JUST FUCKING TRY IT!
Nobody in our realm can out spook me,
All your friends will be dead on the quick count of three.
I see your life's a strife, but I don't need no knife,
I'm comin' in fast, better hold on tight.
I’ll find you, then I’ll rip you up with my claws,
and rip off your head and say I AM GOD!

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC. RAP. BATTLES OF CREEPYPASTA!

Sonic.exe vs MARIO. Epic Rap Battles of Creepypasta

Nathan Provost as Hoody
Froggy7771 as Masky

Lyrics:

EPIC RAP BATTLES OF CREEPYPASTA!
HOODY!
VS!
MASKY!
BEGIN!

Hoody:
You're crappy Masky, you ain't having much luck
Your face is so fucking ugly, you need a mask to cover it up
When you could use a bag under your fucking shitty ass head
You're lucky to be alive but I wish you were dead
I will kill you when you are trying to sleep in a car
You couldn't take it seriously, but I've took it too far
Oh! you're a human while I'm a proxy? That doesn't mean you're good
Try to mess with me Masky, I'm from the hood

Masky:
I murdered my friend, that means I'm tough to take on you
Oh, you shot Alex? There's no need to be rude
I'm ripping through you, dude! You were born shit
And I'm bout to lyrically kick you in your marble hornets!
Those red eyes will match your body when I'm done with you
I'm disappearing, you're a queer, and i'll kick your ass, dude
Am I Tim? You'll never know! You could NEVER unmask me
But, now you're bout to have to pay the price of facing Masky

Hoody:
Your rhymes are so fucking boring, they make me cough
Your life is like my rhymes, 'cause it's about to drop
You can't match Hoody, you asshole-masked excuse for a buddy
In this next found footage, you'll be ripped, torn and bloody

Masky:
You can't handle my mask, so just step back
I'm cracking your code, bitch, in this vicious rap attack
When i snap your neck, I'll make those big-ass eyes flinch
Just know you can never mess with Tribe Twelve, bitch!

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF CREEPYPASTA!

Hoody vs Masky. Epic Rap Battles of Creepypasta

Mysterio Vs Psycho Mantis - Marvel Vs Anything

Henry Emily vs Henry Stein- Rap Battles!

Kokichi Ouma Vs. The Riddler

Saul Goodman Vs. Daredevil

Patrick Bateman Vs. Sweeney Todd

Amelia Earhart Vs. D.B Cooper

Two titans of the cards industry deck it out in the series debut of TableTop Rap Battles!

Freeced as Poker
Quizzique as Uno

Written by Quizzique, Alchemyking, Freeced
Mixed and Arranged by GlitchDude
Art by 3ple
Thumbnail by Quiz
Beat prod. by Anywaywell

Poker (0:11)
IT’S POKER NIGHT!
From diamonds to hearts, I’m the poster child
Your fans are like Texas, hold ‘em tight
But for this loner it’s hopeless, I’mma
Blow jokers out like your open mics
Servers must have overheated from Markiplier’s exposures
Now I’m stirring up the flames cause I’m fire with pokers

You couldn’t compare to the stacks that I’m dishin’
Gambling is my mission, my game needs precision for every decision
You’ll need some ambition for this competition
What your fans are missin’ is brains, they envision the colors because it’s
Appealing to the mindless children that flock in your fanbase like pigeons
And flooding the market with SPECIAL EDITIONS

You rode on waves of hype and managed to keep your fame, right
But I’ve got blackjack, while you’re the black sheep of Game Night
You split friendships and families apart more than I cut the deck
Don’t care you lose the heart of the cards, long as you cut a cheque

Uno (0:48)
That whole play was awful, so now I’m jumpin in
Leave a hole punched in you cus you’re out of commission
You say I’m cutting cheques, I’m saying check your cuts
Casinos taking thousands out of players, now they bet the dust

Forget the Jack of Spades, I’m the jack of trades
Your cheatin’ players jacking trades, try my rules and they won’t last a game
You’re past your fame, your only audience is rich kids with depression
I’m the superior game of luck cus I’m dealin in 7s

You’re boring me more than the boardwalks that you’re shoring
Put the chalk up to the scoreboard and you’ll see who’s really scoring
I’d think you were a poker chip the way you’ve been dispensed, dude
Like my +2s, I’d say the odds are stacked against you

Poker (1:24)
Check my legacy, millions of users playing on desktops
You only spawned a couple of losers screaming on Xbox
I’m going coast to coast, you go Uno and Dos
I go big or go home, while your hands only go for broke

My game is so dope, it’s making people draw in Westerns
While all of your draw cards couldn’t even draw investors
I’m one of a kind, you’re crazy eights straight out the bargain bin
But enter the casino gates, you know the house will always win

Uno (1:48)
I got a deuce with my verses, royally flush this gaming turd
Got players’ blood pumping, looks like you hit a Vegas nerve
You’re getting skipped, at such a loss you’ll need to be reimbursed
Now I’m Flippin this battle, let’s send this track in reverse

Chop it up, like drawing a card I’m going off the top
Only bitches play poker, and I ain’t just talking dogs
I shed your insults off like they’re fleas, you’re nothing but a disease
Winning this gamble with ease, cus I’ve got tricks up my sleeves

Once respectable crime, it is such a pity
You’re getting forgotten in time - Atlantis City
Such a snore, you should’ve chosen War to play a waiting game
If you wanna win so bad, all you gotta do is say my name

Poker vs Uno - TableTop Rap Battles #1 (ft. Freeced)

Written, Recorded, and Thumbnail by JesseBox
Beat Arrangement, Mixing and Mastering by Freshy Kanal
Guitar Riffs by YuugenVinny

Special Thanks to Freshy Kanal, Yuugen Vinny, Snakebite126, Shimario, My Parents and The Bikini Bottom❤️


Jinx:
Aw a fellow blue haired bitch thinkin’ she wants some
Your “nakama” and “kumbaya” shit don’t work where I come from
Keep your fairy tails away from me, I’m not afraid to fucking rip your face off, I’m droppin bombs on top this creepy stalker

Like Pow! I’ve got an arsenal with weapons galore
Been on the roster for a decade and still the players want more!
Your tacky fanservice is almost cute, but terrible still
I liked you better as a rock girl, or when you had guts to kill 

I mean, c’mon, chick, you could’ve been so badass!
Instead your writers picked one gag and then played that trash for laughs
And I mean, no one even knows your dumb kid’s series anymore
Potential and relevance down the drain, need I say more?

Juvia: 
I’ll have you know that I am doing just fine
Cause I know how to aid my friends when their lives are on the line
You’re a reckless child, meddling while the task was being handled
Had you just been mature, Vi could’ve still had Vander

I’m an Ex Element four, was S class in Phantom Lord
I’ve the scars to prove my passion and agony I’ve endured
And my guild believed in me to change for good when I was wrong
Your family never had that trust, and thanks to you, they’re all gone

All your punches do is phase through me due to my water power
And I will not be shaken, I’m cool like rain that will shower
Except in Jinxes’ case, all it takes is words to confound her
Crush her like Mylo and Claggor and turn her back into Powder

Jinx:
*groans* That isn’t me, don’t call me that
I can feel all their pain, the monsters are coming back
I can’t take it any longer, your attacks, they’re much stronger
And I- *pfft*… haha.. HAHHAHAHAh

You can’t meet the damage I’ve done
You peaked during your season one
And what you call love is just an obsession that you manifested, and it’s fuckin’ scaring him off

He’s annoyed by you
And girl, the viewers feel the same too
Only Mashima’s shitty writing could’ve given you
A world where Gray even tolerates you!

Juvia:
What did you say?
About my Gray?
I’ll make you pray that you stayed in your lane or met an early grave like where your parents lay!
Don’t play with this rainwoman
I’m not afraid of a thieving rat with nothing to her name

Who do you think you are? You’re not the savior of Zaun
Cause all it takes is pink hair to take this failure off guard!
This poor pathetic schizophrenic should just quit while ahead
Thought she found her calling, then her THIRD father ended up dead

And by your hands no less. 
Just loss after loss and this one was bound to be next
Keep causing problems and problems are all that you’ll get
Past the point of help
I’d say that you were cursed but Vi said it better herself

Jinx vs. Juvia Lockser - Jesse’s Rap Battles

Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJ-lWPY9D18

Scott:
Hey all Scott here! And before you try to ban me
See I'm contractually obligated to one more battle with Bandy
But something I have trouble understanding is his experience with rapping
Cause he's done youtube long before me…what the f*ck happened
Your buddy lives with boulders, and you? Under a rock…
I didn’t take you as the type to be entertaining, oh you’re not
I mean you were an OG creator something like we hadn't seen before
But all of your old vids seemed to age as well as the Nintendo 64

Nathaniel:
Did Nintendo not realize that battle mode should be balanced
But I’ve already conquered Mario, so Kamek shouldn’t be a challenge
Cause you were Borderline copying my content, cutting out any flavor

Bathaniel:
But think you can rock? 

Nathaniel:
You’re just a blank piece of paper 
From your stupid looking hair to videos, you’ve always sucked at trimming!
Like I don’t want to sit down and watch this loser’s constant bitching
It’s not awesome baby seeing you fail to make your skits slicker
Cause you’d only leave my Mind Blown if I pulled the fricking Trigger!

Scott:
Welcome to the show, tell me, what does this guy not have?

Terry Lesler:
*gunshot* Beef? 

Jerry Attricks:
*gunshot* Therapist! 

Target Employee:
*gunshot* Job at Target? 

Rex Mohs:
*gunshot* A dad!

Jeb Jab:
*gunshot* Guys, let's be real, the answer’s so obviously Gex!

Scott:
Ooo so close! See, the answer is actually “a f**king job”
I mean sure we've collabed a few times but I hardly call us rivals
So yeah I enjoy your content… I also wrote the Bible
A guy with no personality, making top 10 lists and ranking vids
And you’re striving for originality?

Nathaniel:
Can’t talk originality when you’ve ripped Jon and The Nerd

Jerry Attricks:
Hey, you should check them out, they're pretty good from what I've heard

Nathaniel:
You wasted 2 hours of my time just to talk about your childhood junk?!
Not even in Maple Treeway was I jacking myself off this much
Thinking this Chicken could Shoot anything hurtful is abhorrent
Cause he’s as fragile as a Pop-Tart that I’d slam against my forehead
How will Nathaniel win? Pretty easily cuz you can’t handle me!
Brand new vid Top 10 times Scott lost to Nathaniel B

Credits:
Cri as Scott The Woz
Dan as Nathaniel Bandy

Cri as Jerry Attricks, Target Employee, and Terry Lesler
Dan as Bathaniel Nandy, Rex Mohs, and Jeb Jab

Written by Taiga and Powerofdan
Demo’d by Taiga
Mixed by Freshy Kanal
Beat by Anywaywell
Beat rearranged by Powerofdan
Special Thanks: Harry

Scott The Woz vs Nathaniel Bandy (Powerofdan Rap Battles)

The demo track I recorded for Grunkle Stan vs Saul Goodman.

Dated June 2023

Grunkle Stan vs Saul Goodman - Eddie's Demo

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES
TOM ANDERSON
VS
MARK ZUCKERBERG
BEGIN!

Mark:
Hello Tom Anderson, it's time you take a look
Nobody uses MySpace, we all use Facebook.
I'd look at your profile but where the hell do I go?
That update you made, it like, seriously blows
I'll take that whiteboard and smash your face through it.
When they bury you I'll write, here lies a bitch.
You got the empty space inspriation from where you like to jerk.
I think it's time that I show you the better Social Network.

Tom:
Aren't you colorblind? That's why Facebook is blue?
That explains why you can't see that I'm better than you
My update sucks? Look at your timeline
At least my website didn't cause a bunch of suicides.
I have 200,000,000 friends, you can only have 5,000
I'll make my site return, then I'll throw you over the mountain.
You dropped out of Harvard just to shit around the Internet
I'll send your girl Priscilla Chan my personal friend request 

Mark:
Listen here "Lord Flathead", you don't know how to hack
A decent and usable server is something you lack
Your website caused more deaths than the Holocaust
MySpace is a website that is more lonely than the island on L.O.S.T.
I can gather my friends like sheep in a herd,
all your stupid friends just "forgot" their password!
You changed MySpace from black to blue?
Hell, even Google + has more users than you.



Tom:
Your website became cancerous, just ask the swagfags (OBEY)
I'd play that dumbass Farmville but all it does is lag.
Bitch, this isn't tumblr, take off those "inspirational quotes"
You erase the funny jokes, but keep the dead baby POSTS?!?!?! (1 like, 1 prayer...)
You can't even play music on your damn profile.
Your whole damn site is a magnet for pedophiles.
I made plenty of money, so suck my dick.
Your ass got beat? Ha, Tom Anderson likes this!

WHO WON?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!

EPIC RAP BATTLE PARODIES.

Tom Anderson VS Mark Zuckerberg. Epic Rap Battle Parodies 6.

Epic Rap Battle Parodies

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