-PRODUCTION/CAST-
Henry Stickmin - Mancha (UBERocity)
Phil Eggtree - Fightmarker​

Written By: Michael Stark, M!CAH, & Mason G

Produced By: Epistra

Mixed & Mastered By: Freshy Kanal

Logo By: Cannibal Worms

Cover By: Commander Jacob

Lyrics:
ANNOUNCER
Let's give it up for Stark’s Rap Battles!
Henry Stickmin
Vs
Phil Eggtree
Begin!

HENRY STICKMIN
The father of Newgrounds is bound to ground this unpunny Flash hack
Who thinks he can step to Stickmin, guess he hasn’t seen my clap back!
Henry chooses Gas Raps to combat Phil’s not-so-Swift sadness
Even your OG design adds up to complete Madness!
I mean, you’re messing with the best mercenary since Red or Blu
My games are a blast when I bring laughs, no one can say the same about you
So riddle me this, if you can, we know you’re not the sharpest bulb in the shed
How can you claim to have fame when you’re put to shame by another egg?
Who’s got a 98% rating on Steam? Me!
Who’s game birthed a dev team and a whole company from a meme?
But then who’s schtick got old fast with each recurring scheme?
Cuz it’s not me who’s cranking sequels just to make ends meet, geez!

PHIL EGGTREE
A whole decade for your first words? I must say, I’m thrilled
In this scrap you’re getting capped, regardless of the gimmicks you instill
Just a bully taking dollars, but got no digits on the weight scale!
So come at me, stick bug, this loss’ll be your 348th fail!
Spitting colder than Zack- er, hotter than Zack, a twig’ll get snapped when I’m on the attack
But if I tried to sit through your whack class I’d end up falling asleep on the track!
Stickmin’s just a Ghost Inmate, so there’s no need to keep my guard up
Hard to Escape Prison when you’ve been surrounded by my bars, huh?
I’ll still be the one collecting coin, while you’re lacking common cents
And after all your countless antics, I’d think you’d grasp some common sense
With all those video game tie-ins, you constantly seem to harp
For one who prides himself on intelligence, that wasn’t very… pointy
Once I crack the case of this basketcase, then he’ll truly see-
That when it comes to tricking teachers or ditching class, I always have the key!
No Valiant Hero, you snitched on the army just to pinch more cash
Just a selfish thief with jealous deeds, I’ve got this in the bag! (Ha!)

HENRY STICKMIN
I toppled the Toppats, Government, Wall, you know I got the sleek flow too
Your whole deal is “bargain bin Ferris Bueller hit with a dash of Pico’s School!”
But if you really wanna compare us, I’ll serve this Egghead over easy
My countless achievements to your minor victories? Hmmm, lets see:
Small startup gains some traction, gauging YouTubers’ reactions
Yet you couldn’t hold a fraction to the sweet deals that I’m packin’
Banks, Prisons, Airships, Complexes, I’ve beat them all, and then-
What did you do, that’s new? Oh yeah! Escaped school… again...
Priceless gems? I steal em; Brighter friends? You need em
I’m Breakin’ Banks and taking tanks, you use plot holes for your freedom!
No matter what you point and click, I top your “Legacy Edition” any day
But it seems like I had no trouble “Completing the Diss-ion” anyway!

PHIL EGGTREE
This beaver’s spittin’ ‘gainst this bread crumb from the internet’s trash can-
Now after countless parodies, this rash distraction’s at his last stand
Tried to capitalize on nostalgia, relying on old, tired game cliches
While I’ve been going strong for many years and I’m still free to play! (Ay!)
Your lines are paper thin, cutting less than your “valid stingers”
I’ve seen sicker stick figure spitters come out of Salad Fingers
No matter what the timeline, that whole verse was your lamest sad jam
Mission Failed! You shoulda stuck with Charles if you wanted the Greatest Rap Plan! (Oh!)

ANNOUNCER
Who was the Flashiest?
Who do you wanna see battle next?
Well, you decide! 
This has been Stark’s Rap Battles, we’ll see ya next time!

Henry Stickmin vs. Phil Eggtree | SRB

Not mine, this audio belongs to Freshy Kanal
Luke Reardon as Doctor Eggman
Freeced as Jack Horner
Doobus Goobus as the Ethical Bug

Doctor Eggman:
(OHOHOHOHOHO!)
You're a fool to fight with Ivo Robotnik!
This will be easy as pie, with all my mind has accomplished!
"Doctor, I have a problem! I'm as cocky as Sonic!"
Then I prescribe five missiles that I've locked in from my cockpit!
Now BEHOLD! This is how an egg runs shop!
I don't need an emerald to wreck a hedge-fund-hog!
You're a giant in the shadow of a doll that's 5'4",
'Cause no one would bear witness to the Ultimate Eyesore!
I'm the greater thinker: this inventor hypothesizes
Jack's already been lobotomized; now I'll roboticize him!
Take 'ya big thumb; I'll show you a space to insert!
Step to me, I'll step on you until your name's the Pink Blur! (Hoho!)
Jack Horner, get back in the corner; stay in a sulk!
And that's an order, you man-baby; you wait 'til you're told!
I'm Midas touched, so like the Olympics, I'm taking the gold!
You're uncontrollable, chaotic; I am chaos controlled!

Jack Horner:
This guy is a grand inventor?
One rodent can blow up all his planned endeavors!
So I don't intend to sit here and withstand a lecture
From a man who rocked up looking like a band director!
Nicknamed the Eggman, boy; how'd you get that?
Is it 'cause every machine you make will break fast?
Humpty Dumpty with a big 'stache gon' be dead last
When I crack his head, scramble him in my next batch!
How about you calculate the redundancy of a theme park in space?
People can scream from just one look at your face! (AAAH!)
Doesn't it sting? The whole of Mobius loathes you! (Hahaha!)
Dozens of rings, yet no one you could propose to!
How did Gerald's grandson become an utter bore?
Kidnap Elise again; you two deserve each other more!
What would Grandpa think, seeing you fail at love and war?
Maria's shelf life ain't as sad as what you've done with yours!

Doctor Eggman:
Keep that weak spiel going; see if I care!
I'll make fleets from the harmless creatures that fill your nightmares!
My perfect mind will always beat your mystic arts!
I'm done whizzing on the moon, now I'm pissing on your wishing star!
You're about as subtle as a baby brown bear,
So get Amy down from there, Mr. LazyTown Hair!
I run at a pace not even the speed of sound dares!
Don't you stare down with me; you can't make it downstairs!
You're not a mob boss! Can it, Lord Smallquads!
Love life is like Excalibur: you cannot get your rocks off!
I'm dominating! Down a potion you can compensate with,
And get filled with more toxic chemicals than one John Mulaney!
Parents thought you'd be met with applaud on stage for their business,
Now the only noise you're hearing is from crickets!

Jack Horner and Ethical Bug:
Jack, leave the man alone; he's too old to fight you!
You're right! Baldy needs to make-a-wish more than I do!
Wha-- p-put yourself in his shoes, at least!
I would, but my feet aren't the shape of size 50 toucan beaks!
I've had some bad accomplices and watched them die next to me,
But those Dalek nipples are by far the worst accessory!
With your Mean Bean Machine, you can't prove Jack
Except like your little plans, you should've never been hatched!
Run off with your army of prototypes, and then get a pro to type!
You got no bars left, since Prison Island got pulverized!
Before you leave for your mushroom planet and get stranded in it,
Take him to the trophy room! I pronounce this battle... finished.

Jack Horner vs. Dr. Eggman - Rap Battle!

Not mine, this audio belongs to Freshy Kanal
McGwire as Huggy Wuggy
Freshy Kanal as The Rolling Giant
GamingPlush64 as Mall Staff

Huggy Wuggy:
Does somebody want a hug?
Don't come looking for a flower inside Playtime's domain,
Or I will, POP a giant like the Macy's Parade!
Buddy, your mall ain't getting used, so stop raising the roof!
Went from broke to broken to broken into, and now I'm breaking YOU!
Roll in, then stand in place; you call that a jump-scare?
How you gonna escalate? You can't make it upstairs!
I'm in mint condition; you're nothing but mulch and wet paper!
So keep those hands in the air; embrace your French nature!
Listen, Paul Blart, why don't you try out a different diet?
You're so pale, they should call you "The Iron-Deficient Giant"!
I'll chew you in the food court, make you bite-sized with teeth like these,
And show kids why it's important to eat your greens!

The Rolling Giant:
Let's put this on tape, so you learn in time
You couldn't corner me in malls unless you're merchandise!
I rolled into your chapters, waiting for the scary part, (What?)
And the biggest horror was the bill put on my credit card!
Funny-looking toys soak the floor with blood.
For an experiment, you love repeating formulas!
I suppose we both evoke some sense of nostalgia,
'Cause you remind me of the thousand trends you copied off of!
I know you love attention, but, er... don't make me follow you.
I'll get up in your lens and show the world how a dolly zooms!

Huggy Wuggy:
You're not Salad Fingers 'cause you're holding onto leaves! (Leaves!)
I saw you decompose before The Oldest View released! (Ooh!)
You spent every birthday rolling in the deep; the loneliest I've seen!
You might be the only piñata no one wants to beat! (Huh!)
I could give a tight hug, but it'll be quite rough when
I squeeze the life from MoistCritikal dried up!
What more can you do? Sitting through your tape is torture enough!
You call it experimental, I call it... b-boring as fuck!

Mall Staff:
Attention to all customers! Our mall staff would like to advise that the giant is now on the loose.
We advise that you consistently check behind you...

The Rolling Giant:
Or else he'll find you.
I'll do a favor to this genre by stomping on washed-up Monsters, Inc.!
You're the doll that couldn't monitor jack 'til a box was dropped and you got the slip!
Don't bother a monolith made to honor a botanist,
Or next time we're talking 'Poppy's', your grave will have them on top of it!
Don't run after me when you run out of all your gimmicks.
Swapped with Kissy because you're someone we won't be Missing!
And with Playtime's internet history, I would zip it!
I'll torment you to levels that not even Mob could mimic! (What!)
Make my wheels squeak, and I process you into couch cushions.
Watch me turn your security cameras into found footage!
Don't ask me what I want, 'cause I can see it: (Yeah?)
Here lies a dead horse who's constantly beaten!

Huggy Wuggy vs. The Rolling Giant - Rap Battle!

#rapbattle #sml #danganronpa

subscribe to dilly ►https://youtube.com/c/DillyChannel    
support dilly on patreon ►
https://www.patreon.com/locorapbattles
music video out now!
https://youtu.be/U5LucTI753c?si=RgBO6wKNobE-l_Ug

sir rap battles as teruteru hanamura
danii as chef pee pee

written by dilly
mixed by gamingplush64
beat prod. by gamingplush54
art by itspizzabox
cover art by shimario

this series is a tribute to epic rap battles of history.
https://www.youtube.com/user/ERB

Chef Pee Pee vs. Teruteru Hanamura - RAP BATTLE!

Not mine, this audio belongs to GamingPlush64
RedMufflerMan‬ as Alastor
Nathan Wagner as Tony the Talking Clock

Alastor:
Salutations to the sinners of hell!
I hope you're all tuned in and listening well,
Our program can cause jaws to drop,
What could be more entertaining than watching the clock?
Once again he interrupts a favorite show for wayward souls,
He isn't prime time, That label's for the radio show!
Guess it's time to tell the time,
Just who he has come to fight,
Like you did to Yellow Guy, I will end your fucking life!

Tony the Talking Clock:
Time is a way that we measure progression,
With the way you waste it, I bеt you'll be second,
I'm minute to win it, my linеs are hot,
Your vocab's filthy, frankly it's Time to Stop!
I am a ruler so don't get it backwards, This goes just one way,
With you withered and grey at the end of the day,
Times up, you have met your end.
Shut you up for good with a MEH! MEH! MEH!

Alastor:
Mmm, I do not believe that screaming loud was in the deal...
My ears are bleeding, now I know how your victims feel!
The Clock was meant to shock but he's soft when he delivers,
When I grab the mic, you'll find my words are unfiltered,
Let's give a "big hand" to old Becky and Joe,
It's quite an achievement to be getting a show!
And yet I've been told OH, when checking for Tony,
He was found broken and dead in the cold! (how sad!)
Summoned by Roy for his son to be slaughtered,
But you must know, I never suck up to fathers!
Fuck you, Tony. Nothing you brought hertz!
By the end of this, You'll be running like clockwork.

Tony the Talking Clock:
Swinging at me with a chain on your soul?
That's par for the course for this ace in the hole,
The radio hammed up his act,
But there is always Time for Understanding the facts!
Time made your appearance change ever since the pilot,
I wish the same could be said about your writing,
You paid the price for spending Time mucking around,
When an angel dusted you and you ducked in the ground!
Now we can see the unimportance of Alastor!
He's always been the same, Unchanging like the calendar!
This deer lost his head trying to rag off this doll,
And now he's a tool you can hang on the wall.

Alastor vs. Tony the Talking Clock. DGPRB.

FRONTLINE

Mathew Swift as Bugs Bunny and Announcer
Fle as Woody Woodpecker

Bugs Bunny:
Eh, what’s up, doc? Allow me to be Ms. Mean-y
Road-run out of this battle and take that left at Albuquerque
This bunny’s going Back in Action to obtain my second victory
You’re talentless! But, when I sing, it’s a real Merrie Melody!
Universally adored! You’re behind me, in the dust
Face the music, you’re outdated. Nothing more to be discussed
I’m legendary! People always Tuned out your Looney Toons
So I’ll add you to the crew of your own Ship of Ghouls!

Woody Woodpecker:
Knock Knock, guess who? Woody Woodpecker buddy! 
I got the pecks to reduce you to a Bug, Bunny! 
You’re Lola-loco to think ya could get her’ 
She’d turn to someone better; and hop on my woodpecker 
Ya’ diagnosis is this roastin’- that’s what’s up, doc! 
And I could barely bare the hare on the cereal box 
It’s Wabbit season, Bugs! Don’t think I would forget
So ravage underground, ‘cause I’ve got a bone to Peck!

Bugs Bunny:
Of course you realise… this means war!
You tried to peck off more bark than you could hope for
Steal spotlights from pandas? You can't win on your own
I’ll surpass you and Daffy; two birds, one microphone 
Mista, I’m the slickest trickster who's ever dissed ya
You’re history, forgotten, and no one’s ever missed ya
Eh, I’ll give you a punchline since you’re already a joke 
Now that I’ve fried this chicken,

Porky Pig:
Tha-tha-that's all folks!

Woody Woodpecker:
You may have collected respect and the company’s money
it doesn't take a genius to know that this bunny’s unfunny
I’m more raw than carrots- you should stick to ya pranks
I’m dropping rap bombs, while you’re shooting Blancs
You’ll fall with a Fudd as I hunt you on this track
You made this battle a drag, but hey, you're a queen of that
Stuck in another jam, you'll be left spaced out
But it's no surprise when you take 2nd place to a mouse

Written by Matthew Thomas, Fle, R, Legion, WonderPikachu

Bugs Bunny vs Woody Woodpecker. CMRB

Forrest Gump vs. Waterboy

Forrest Gump:
Video: Greg
Audio: Light

Waterboy:
Video: Freshy Kanal
Audio: Freshy Kanal

Beat by:
Kustom & 8_Bit

Thumbnail Art by:
Boris

Written By: 
Freshy Kanal, Legion, Brodecai, Mat4yo

Lyrics:

Waterboy: 
I’m known to win fights, so hold your mic tight.
You don’t seem heavily prepared when a feather is your guide. 
I’m evil on the field, this ain’t a ping pong battle.
Better gather your gospel peeps, my verse is the devil!
You’re not the best competitor, as your script would say
Since everybody knows you as the dude who runs away
And when one round of flow from the Waterboy is busted
On the streets they are reporting that a forest got flooded!

Forrest Gump: 
You put yourself on high standards for pointless ranting.
Stupid is who stupid does, and you’re on the top ranking.
My momma once told me there are unexpected losses,
But if you’re in my box, it’s time to drop the chocolates.
I was tackling Vietnam while you got Virginia testy.
Man, you’re supposed to give me water when I’m resting.
You bit everything off me, now I’m chewing on your title.
I guess it’s the second time you get bullied by your idol.
I got all the folks running miles for my quotes.
So step aside, you’re not the only shrimp on my boat.
You’re squabbled out of this run, it is not a big stunt.
Or in your language, that’s 12 points for Forrest Gump!

Waterboy: 
These wallpins make me so tired.
Gump's in a bit of a slump, is his Momma a ghost writer?
Take her quotes to your grave when I’m ending this fight.
We still got some space between her and your wife.

Forrest Gump: 
Finding space for my Oscars while you're finding commentary
But you're far from quiet in Forrests with the Golden Raspberry
You quarrel on the ground, so just let me be your guide.
Here's looking at you missing my lines, cross-eyed

Waterboy: 
A fan of Dr Pepper? You rap more like Dr Salty's mate
I'll bodyslam you hard like you were plugging Gatorade!
But I wonder how your mind builds any rap structure.
When your education consisted of quickies with your mother
So in this football crossover you’re looking a lot lower.
Cuz I’ll leave this off-flower right under my lawn mower.
Don’t mess with the big bird when you’re a wee pullet
That’ll bite you in the ass like a million dollar bullet

Forrest Gump: 
You should be abandoned and I’m the one to bother
Then take over your money, but I’m not your father
I brought it to the people, and it doesn't need much rapping
To sum up your movie... shit happens.

Forrest Gump vs. Waterboy - Rap Battle!

Fel as Norman Bates' Voice 
Zawesome as Norman Bates' Video
Swedely as Jack Torrance's Voice
PeppyPigeon as Jack Torrance's Video
Freshy Kanal & Fel as Norma Bates' Voice

Written by:
Freshy Kanal

Beat produced by:
Freshy Kanal & VinnyO

Chiseled by:
Jason, Adroit and Vriska

Mixed & Mastered by:
Freshy Kanal

Thumbnail by:
Fel 

Lyrics:

Norman Bates: 
Would you mind not throwing a fit in my business?
With that grimace you don’t lay a welcome mat, from what I’ve witnessed
I’ve known some shitty role models, your obsession brought your slaughter
Now I’ll make this the part 2 of ridding frantic frivolous fathers
So Kubrick screwed his train of thought, and cooked a different mad plot
Now the author of this author is flooding his floors with bad blood.
My footsteps are what my plan brought, with all the friends that I have lost
While your path froze your guts to death--I’ll check you in as Jack Frost.



Jack Torrance: 
A child and his mother, I corrected the disturbance 
Now they send me both cases within one goddamn person
It’s a burden, but I guess I’m gonna have to let the storm in
You dropped the ball on the carpet? Then fucking play with me, Norman!
This spineless biased child will bring the crisis I’m divining.
It only takes a lifeless mind to give your mindless life a Shining
I’ll flip you and your “stab-me-daddy-slapstick-gist”
Your spirit’s like: “Keep calm and pass the buck to mommy, she can handle this”
You’re simply full of lust, I know it makes you feel so ill
Still don’t have the guts to face it so you take them out your roadkill.
Now you perfectly replicate what you pin on your walls
An empty, anxious, little bitch that ripped his soul with what he caused
 
Norman and Norma Bates: 
Mother, what’s the plan? Pierce this Jackoff ‘till the game’s won
No need for reversed writing to know Torrance is getting REDRUM’d
You play with your work but who’s feeling disturbed? Think of more than one sentence and write it
Are you finally willing to fight and confront or did I get a dull boy excited
I know it’s not my place to get involved in, but you got nothing but your avarice and despair evolving
‘Til your only belief in everything you ever made is that the bottles you empty are gonna solve it
And packing a weapon? Listen up, I know this whole feeling is filling your guilt
But you showered in self deprecation and went to get stabbed by the story you built
You crafted your own trial, dropped out full of wrath and envy
The labyrinth was the game, but Player One wasn’t Ready.

Jack Torrance: 
You keep your basement locked after silencing mommy?
There won’t be secrets behind closed doors when Here’s Johnny!
Where’s the light of your life? You’re turning your home to hell
Peep so many holes in the wall, call it Mastur-Bate’s Motel
Your mom wrecked social contact within the feminine context.
I mean how’s dinner with her corpse and your oedipus complex?
It doesn’t matter who you mess with, you’ll stay obsessed and desperate
Your mind is your own maze and you will never find the exit

Norman Bates vs. Jack Torrance - Rap Battle!

Welcome to the fifty-seventh installment of Epic Rap Battles of Cartoons!

Eddie's Rap Channel as Dib Membrane
TheSuperplushybros as Invader Zim
Adroitwhiz as GIR
Nathan Provost as Marvin the Martian
B-Lo as Stitch
Rocket as Roger
Titanium1208 Krang

Lyrics:
https://bit.ly/36PjDD0

Written by Matthew Thomas, thelegion, Anthony Perry, Fle, Freshy Kanal, R the Writer, Stofferex, Skeep★Tieel, and Jacob

Mixed & Mastered by: Freshy Kanal

Additional Help by: Adroitwhiz

Beats by: Kustom Made Productions, 2Deep, Marc Jackson Burrows of Audio Network, and Hollywood Legend Productions

Invader Zim vs Dib Membrane. Epic Rap Battles of Cartoons 57.

Check out the (ANIMATED) video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKCxNmCLl7M

Jerry Flowers as Alastor
Alex as Siren Head

Siren Head:
I’m hailed as the patron saint of bad things coming
And it’s more than a moniker when I’m paired against a demon
Not talkin’ your Hotel when this has-been’s running
With his tail between his legs, ‘cuz I tear into a heathen
A deer is entering my woodlands - This greeting we hadn’t shook hands
Don’t need a rifle to hunt you for sport and then mount your noggin on a wood stand
You can’t handle what i’m bringing because Hell is so full
Got my ears ringing like you’re the telephone pole
Henderson’s hindering venison imps and your denizens think Siren Head’s in control

Alastor:
Are you pulling my leg? ‘Cuz I think I got a Charlie horse
Those bars are torturous, not even something I’d endorse
Rap battles are truly so much fun for me, Eddie
But if you were going to win, YOU WOULD’VE DONE SO ALREADY
Yes, I’m the big shot eldritch horror - ding dong and ditch on ya
Bring your best, come on, the thing from hell spits hotter
King of senseless slaughter - sins brought death and honour
Sing your siren song ‘cuz this one’s well a goner
Rejected as an SCP but you should stay contained
In the minds of children dumb enough to want to play your games
And before our station cuts back to Trevor’s commercial break
Best stay tuned for when I finish off this miserable mistake 

Siren Head:
It’s alarming, you suck more than a tornado
It seems that inside of every demon is a lame flow, take notes
Your pathetic pathos hate shows you’re not charming, hack
Ain’t seen a bigger animated pussy since Cartoon Cat
You should reflect how this battle goes - Ain’t been dissed this hard since Vaggie, bro
I’m edging closer and hell’ll freeze over when i’m serving Alastor a la mode
You’re off the air and off your rocker tryna fight me
When it comes to radio, you’re less deadly than 5G

Alastor:
Your mic is peaking - too bad it’s not your dissing skills 
My ears are bleeding - now I know how your victims feel
This trending fad will come to pass, I’ll continue my show’s run
Soon to sink back to the cemetery that you rose from

Written, Directed & Coverart by Eddiefrb
Mixed and Mastered by Freshy Kanal
Prod. by Anywaywell

NEXT BATTLE: Tomorrow Is Another Day (ft. Azia? & GamingPlush64)