Leave my home 🏡, the robbers are running 🏃💨

why tf has THIS been the alternate mix? idk...



thumbnail by box_soldier22 (Me :])

mixed by box_soldier22 (Me :])

og battle by ace 

Salad Fingers Vs Norman Bates. Ace Rap Battles. [ALTERNATE MIX By Me]

Hey whaddaya know I release battles

Mancha (UBERocity) as Elder Kettle
Matt Raichous as Hopediah Plantar
Prod. by InsaneBeatz
Writing by Alchemyking
Mixed by Trakked
Thumbnail by JK03
Special thanks: Raisu Battle, RNG, MetaMachine, Quizzique, Snakebite126

LYRICS:
Elder Kettle:
I thought my boys already beat some frogs in a standoff
Unless you’re their grandpa, but after an edge sand-off
This fight would end no different if I just went and slept in
It’s my radio against your cane; of course you’re getting poor reception
You’re a revolutionary icon, so it’s a pity
That despite your claims to “eat the rich”, you’re still a slave to Disney
I’ll leave your HP draining, as I go in for the kill
It’s fitting that this Farmer got screwed over by a Bill

Hop Pop:
Felicia’s equipment came to life to blow steam at me?
Well, call in King Andrias, ‘cause I’m about to spill the tea
How ‘bout you eat some veggies, not that sweet garbage you’re craving?
The last time your house had greens in it, it was a home invasion
Now, I’d be nicer, but Fleischer miser’s none the wiser
When I reverse the roles, spit fire on this baby in a diaper
We both have mashed up garbage in an effort to get rich,
But my dishonesty pales in comparison to what’s spat out by Netflix

Elder Kettle:
You’re talking to a vet, so in battles, I’m a sound ten
I can tell you’re green with envy, like you’re dipping in a fountain
I can see through all the flaws you fail at masking, so I’m asking
How’d you fail at that and rapping, when acting is your passion?
Werner’s no longer the biggest rat that I’ve smelled in a fair while
‘Cause you lie to your foster daughter, leaving split ends like your hairstyle
Hey, Hop Pop & Roll, make this another fight where you’ll run
You’re only top of the pecking order when the herons come

Hop Pop:
I’m an old one, but still ripe, while you’re bursting at the seams
Lookin’ to best me with those Peashooters? Forget the ding-dang dream!
You’re a musty, rusting bucket; bustin’ you shouldn’t be that hard
I just buried a box; your boys try to bury you in the yard!
I own a snail that moves faster than you; you’re bound for the grave
Yet you still torment your children, leaving them going “I don’t feel safe!”
I’ll go back to my avocados, which leave my fame blooming, so
Why don’t you mortgage your house, just like your parent studio?

Elder Kettle vs. Hop Pop - Disney Rap Battles

Lakitu vs. Thundurus - Mario vs. Anything Shorts!


Ennway As Lakitu 


MetaMachine As Thundurus


Mixed by Nooby


Mixing assistance from Micheal Stark


Cover art by Box Soldier


Beat prod. Anywaywell 


Lakitu:

Yo I’m Lakitu, the enemy who’s here to mess with you

The bars I drop are solid gold like this is NSMB2

With your horrid failures you think your a force of nature

But competitive just sees you as a support for later


You act like you’re defiant but nobody’s reliant

On this prankster who keeps whining bout why no one wants to try him

With a therian forme as ugly as that anal bead thats glued to ya

Even landorus overshadows you, makes sense that he’s immune to ya


Thundurus:

I would always accept a challenge to ravage through a Lakitu

But not just him, demolish all of Bowser "powerful" lackeys too

Even in odyssey, you’re just fishing for disses 

Yeah, your Bowser’s minion, looking like a lousy minion!


I’m a stark hater of this bargain bin Mario kart racer

So I’m, hijacking your cloud, that’s just the harsh nature

Of the life of this cameraman, and though he has some shells tossed

You pull up others who ran off the track, but you’re the one who fell off



Lakitu vs. Thunderus - Mario vs. Anything Shorts!

Trump:
Yo it's Donald Trump coming out my Trump Towers
Bout to show this bitch a sampler of my Trump Power
I don't need my "Politics Beam" to tell you're gonna lose g
Biden may be woke, but your ass is fruity!
This third grade nerd's earned a diss track, punk
Your burns are so bad I turned into pickle trump!
Your series is so bad (believe me) everyone can tell
Shadow wizard money gang! We love casting spells!

Dilly:
Damn, trump, those fucking lines were just the worst 
I'm glad you went before me, after all it's ladies first 
You got mike pence, a condom, and pencil in your purse 
Call me covid 2.0. This bitch ass gon need a nurse 
(Ay ay) lay off the spray tan you lookin like a cheez it 
(Ay ay) heard you wrote a book, i prolly will not read it 
You call me fruity, bitch your verse was a fruit’s ballad 
I'm shitting on this track like you did to mail in ballots 

Trump:
That verse was sick... like COVID. It's not true!
You think you'll win? So wrong. Not you!
No truth was spilled. I will not fall!
When I take your crew and I KILL THEM ALL!!!
Okay so this next line was gonna be about 9/11 but I figured it might alienate my voter base and be a bit insensitive
Mostly alienate my voter base
I don't Obama-care about the rhymes you spat
Anyways, wanna go play Minecraft?

Dilly:
No i will not play minecraft with a fuckin racist g 
I prefer running up bridge when dan is there to carry me 
You make walls cause youre a short lil bitch with small fingers 
I make walls when logged on fortnite, im a raw builder 
I'm not feeling hearing or fearing you im a point taker 
You sound like a mix of casey and a fuckin voice changer 
I'm the creepypasta of the most and now this cunts bloody 
Here's ten dollars for your loss and don't use it as hush money

Dilly vs Donald Trump. FRB In True

I could've demoed any of the written battles I have lying around. Instead, I made this entirely within this month, from conception to audio. You're welcome.

Quizzique as Tony Hawk
garbageGothic as Jackie-Lynn Thomas
Prod. by David O'Brien (Audio Network)
Writing by Alchemyking
Mixed by Serena
Thumbnail by Quizzique
Special thanks: MetaMachine, Legengo

LYRICS:
Tony Hawk:
It’s Birdman, flyin’ in to blast the mic
Big on satellite TV, while you’re just Marco’s satellite
Yea, Jackie’s lame, trade her for this great skater
Marco can take the blame later when I stay ahead, like Naysaya
Blaze haters! Ain’t talking baby ducks when you’re catching strays
I’m surfing half-pipes, while you just look like you’re half awake
I speed through my bars like I’m grinding rails
Eyes like a Hawk, but even I’m freaked out by your eyes’ detail

Jackie-Lynn Thomas:
Wait, you’re the Tony Hawk? Forgive my mistake
With that verse, could you blame me for barely being awake?
You’re packing red flags, but your deals with Six Flags were a miss
Quit shilling capitalists and go be a dad to your kids
Tony, a Pro Skater? I prefer Caddicarus
I gorge on pain peppers, so you know I’m spitting lit
Known for your revolutions, but in philanthropy, you ain’t smart
Your answer to “How do we help starving kids out?” “SKATE PARKS!”

Tony:
Yo, you should clam up! Take after your necklace
Guess Star brought a full stop to your Love Sentence
Marco pulled a caper with his cape, you left him on the pier waiting
I’ll dock ten points for that, and ten points for queer-baiting
We’re both used to carrying, but in your case
You carried Marco so hard, I’m shocked you didn’t have your board break
You’re just a history geek, I sweeped in ERBoHistory
My bars will make you lose your cool, and leave you with two silver streaks

Jackie:
Oh, you’re still rapping, bro?
That verse was so forced, I thought it was one of your cameos
You should be disqualified for that fifth game, Birdman
And here, I thought Bon Bon’s grave was riddled with vermin!
You wanna trash my love life, but I send your capping back at you
‘Cause you hop between wives like you’re back on Captain Kangaroo
Like a motion-controlled board, you can’t control me when I’m rhyming
Tony Hawk struck out! But Star knows a good ravine you can hide in

HINT FOR NEXT TIME: Greed (ft. Quizzique and MetaMachine)

Tony Hawk Vs Jackie-Lynn Thomas - Disney Rap Battles

SNL Cast Member

Hello Earthlings! Today in the 22nd AORB, we got the supposed alien, Invader Zim, going up against the other green alien on Nickelodeon from Fairly Odd Parents, Mark Chang. Who'd  abduction the victory? You decide!

Lyrics/credits:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1miTY5jL0Y4Ja1l239-nIXLrByddEOt7WGYWBbwoOZow/edit?usp=drivesdk

Invader Zim vs Mark Chang - Acting Out Rap Battles

Pokey vs. Cacturne - Mario vs. Anything!

Bird As Pokey

Cole As Cacturne 

Mixed by Jort

Written by King Ducky & King Wallace

Cover art by SPM1000

Beat prod. Anywaywell & Ennway

Pokey:
Lets go
I’m the dopest Pokey (yuh?) you’re a dopey Poke
I could destroy any lowly crony even if I’m snowy 
Got cold feet? (Hah) Freezing up from exposed heat 
You’re below me so unzip your mouth and blow me!

That needle arm is not unique, so prickly prick quit tryin’ to hit me
Not even special to Sidney, overshadowed by his Shiftry
And still this sucker’s sucker punch could never fucking fuck me up
Dumped on route 111? You’re the one who’s munchin’ dust 

Cacturne:
Guess what! It’s Cact’s turn and i’m Drain Punching a Pokey
Chew you up and spit you out like the tongue of a Yoshi
No matter which skin equipped, you’re still a damn bore
Either your flow is absorbed, or you miss me in a sandstorm!

The raps I spit are hazardous and damagin’ like spikes
Leave a loser hammered in like the mallet from Morton's fight
You burrow like a Diglett, yet I’ll still shock you like a Raichu
But at least you’ll be a boss after I once again mummify you!

Pokey:
Think you can defeat me? You’re as weak as cheep cheep
Your rapping is almost as bad as you spamming Leech Seed
I tower over ya, Cacnea’s just one of my different segments
Dropped from the anime, this mixed attacker got mixed reception!

Straight from Doki Doki Panic, now this Pokey’s flowing frantic
James disowned him so he's saddened, just a lonely coping has-been
Funny, the brainless Scarecrows actin' all tough 
When he's the one afraid of being smackdown by small bugs 

Cacturne:
You're a legless monstrosity, how are you gonna run tracks?
Given how you handle boomerangs, you wont like this comeback
You’re just a creeper, whether 64 or your Minecraft Mash-up
Mario’s party pummelled Pokey, this potato stacks button mashed-up!

Taken from another game, where you looked like a snot thread
Knock off, and I ain't talking bonking your bod till you drop dead
You blow hard! One of your various variants if you need to be informed
So I’ll leave this "fun guy" spiked up, even if he switched forms

Pokey vs. Cacturne - Mario vs. Anything!

BUY/STREAM: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/zagranis/two-thousand-and-two

Take a peek into my brain...

Hook:
I’m immature, I’m a kid
I’m a dumb piece of shit
Every time I try to rise
I fall back down again
Can’t escape my own head
I wish I was dead
I’m immature, I’m a kid
I’m a dumb piece of shit
Every time I try to rise
I fall back down again
Can’t escape my own head
I wish I was dead

Verse 1:
I was only seventeen, I realized who I wanna be
I wanna be the one that provides riches to my family
I wanna be the one that you recognize on the street
Tap your good friend on the shoulder and say “hey it’s the queen”
I’ve been trying to find my way back down to earth
But I can’t bring myself down to touch the dirt
I can hear you all from here what the fuck are you sayin
I’ll be thinkin ‘bout it when I’m 6 foot layin
You’re saying what you want but at the end of the day
That’s all gonna be behind me when I’m up on the stage

Bridge:
You can try to tell me I’m dumb
You can try to tell me to act my age
You can tell me to give up
But it just motivates more whenever you say

Hook:
I’m immature, I’m a kid
I’m a dumb piece of shit
Every time I try to rise
I fall back down again
Can’t escape my own head
I wish I was dead
I’m immature, I’m a kid
I’m a dumb piece of shit
Every time I try to rise
I fall back down again
Can’t escape my own head
I wish I was dead

Verse 2:
Sometimes I just feel like I’m screaming into the void
Why do I complain? I make money, I’m employed
I have friends, a family, a roof over my head
So why am I making songs bout how I wanna be dead
Layin’ down in my bed, at 2 AM thinking of verses
I can’t remember what I wrote in my head, and what’s worse is
Every time I open docs and I try to write
I get overemotional and I start to fucking cry
I’m pushing myself, over the limit, I’m quitting
Nothing’s written and I’m thinkin, that maybe I should start drinkin
It’s a sin and I know, that I’d have nowhere to go
But the bottom is the only place that I’d feel at home
It’s the end of the show, so just do what ya do
These are the thoughts of a broken mind from 2002
All of you out there who, care about me and my journey
Thank you for not letting me leave this planet early

Hook:
I’m immature, I’m a kid
I’m a dumb piece of shit
Every time I try to rise
I fall back down again
Can’t escape my own head
I wish I was dead
I’m immature, I’m a kid
I’m a dumb piece of shit
Every time I try to rise
I fall back down again
Can’t escape my own head
I wish I was dead

Produced by H3 Music: www.youtube.com/channel/UC1nH4RqASg6DK2WgfPjyh5Q
Mixed and Mastered by Zagranis

two thousand and two (Prod. H3 Music)

Spider-Man:
God fucking damn it; my Amazon package was late again. I’m going to speak with Jeff Bezos PERSONALLY.

(Spiderman goes to Amazon HQ)

Bezos:
Hello, Spider-Man. How can I help you today?

Spider-Man
I have a fucking problem with you.

ERBOBRUH!
SPIDER-MAN!
VS.
JEFF BEZOS!

Spider-Man
My name’s Spider-Man and I do whatever good
I talked to your ex-wife and did what a Spider would
I sprayed her cheeks, rest assured I’ll call her in the future
Whipped out my “Daddy Long-Legs” and straight up webbed shoot her
Once your workers have enough, you’re gonna end up crucified
I’ll hang this baldy from a web; call that Bezo’s Suicide (Ouch!)
You shouldn’t mess with me, I’m a true expert at wrestling (YEAH!)
And when it comes to rich “Jeffery’s”, I prefer Mr. Epstein!

Jeff Bezos
Oh, come on, Spider-Man; isn't there a better solution?
Can't we discuss this civilly and settle this like we're humans?
And if I’m being honest, I still wanna be friends!
Even if that last movie was kinda rushed towards the end :/
That was kinda mean. I still think we should ditch this
I saw no Amazon orders for Spider-Man merch last christmas
Let’s discard this silly conflict. This fighting doesn’t interest me!
I promise Amazon’s working to create a better tech industry!

Spider-Man
Nice verse, did your cock-sucking husband write it for you
I bet he sent his “package” and “drops ships” swimmers in you 
I’m not Homecoming to your funeral, here’s my piece of mind
I’ve verbally King-Pinned another bald bitch, it’s PIZZA time

(Record scratch)
Jeff Bezos:
Alright, that’s it. You’ve really pissed me off.

Iron Bezos:
I know your name, Peter Parker. You won't like Bezos once you're caught.
'Cause I'll end this battle faster than your Uncle shot dead by the Opps. (Gunshot)
My wife knew true loyalty; that Mary Jane is just a ho
What’ll your shit ass Spider Sense do against motherfucking Mini Bezos?

Mini Bezos:
It’s Mini Bezos on the track, what’s a Spider gonna do
When the rain comes pouring down and he falls through a tube?
(Mini Bezos gets shot)

Punished Parker (Spider-Man.EXE)
leave my home, robbers are running
No...(Spider-Man!) No... (Parker!) I'll leave YOU all Punished!
Your theories aren't eerie. You got terrible bars sir
I'm the leader, and I'll turn you into Peters for your Parkers
(Listen!) My web’s blocked...(Stop Goblin!!) I feel sick...
On the way to this battle I fought the sinister six
Your existence is fiction. You'd rather buy than be buyers man
Time to show you why I’m called the Amazing Spider-Man 
Stage 1

*Spider-Man gets beat by Jeff Bezos and The Bezos Bots (Five Mini Bezos’)*

No… i can’t lose
I was the spider-man, what the fuck dude 
Come on, you bald people can’t buy bars with your wealth!
Well, this battle is done, I must kill myself…

Spider-Man vs. Jeff Bezos.

Welcome to the seventeenth installment of “Quick Diss”! We got two antisocial psychopaths (they're just like me fr!!) it's the hitman i'd definitely hit on, Anton Chigurh! Looking NOT to choke against a monster with no name… but imma say his name anyways! Johan Liebert!

Lyrics:
Anton Chigurh:
What's the most you ever lost in a coin toss? Cus your mom lost her son to a toss up.
Traded you off for your sister and tossed you aside for her cause bud.
Caught cosplaying "dear Ana", flipping from heads to tails to get your way
But then lost your head chasing your sister's tail, and in the hospice you stayed.
When Tenma raised you from the grave, he flipped your world on its head
Became obsessed over his metrics, I'm not talking coins when you lost your sense
So polished for someone so counterfeit, all the shine but none of the value then
I heard your sister knew that when your noggin got skewered in 
A bad hand you were dealt but her hand held the trigger to do it friendo, yet, I won't shoot and miss.

Johan Liebert:
Tell me, what do you think is the ultimate fear? Being a tool to be thrown or a fool only known from one film of note?
You couldn't goad me in your scope when it's so minimal
The scope of my plans makes yours pitiful, can't kill a man blow for blow but that's typical
Another hitman being miserable, do you reminisce at all? Of how you missed loves interval?
No one's hitting on this interloper, ironic. It's like you're the world's only man!
It seems you're entranced by fate, allow me to point with my hand and coin up your path
Can't make sense of cents in your laymon trash
Suppress your guns like the pain of your makeshift cast
To tempt me is to mess with fates end
Best leave with your life, or crash once again.

Anton Chigurh:
All right, you claim to be fate, despite being worshiped as alt right
You are not sly, they claim to have your faith committing false crimes.
A monster without a name? Consuming people in its wake
But all I see is a spoiled prince who's conning sheeps all in his way.
Tricked a blind man into seeing you, taught some small kids to be alike inside.
But if they saw you here, they'd see a child's perfect suicide.
Spent your entire life eluded by your mother
But for a price I would've found and shot her like any other bumbling bluffer.
"You don't have to do this" is what she'd utter when I gun her.
You'll die for wasting my time, but I might let Ava go. It's the best I can do for my trouble.

Johan Liebert: 
How hypocritical to offer me a deal with no chance of survival 
You must not believe in your own spiel to cap me, entitled. 
So quick to for-go your ideals when attacking his wife's home
Check your own boots for the licks you get when taking your rivals
You're not your father's disciple, he might've had high hopes
That his son wouldn't become a psycho, you know who you are and don't try to right woes.
I wouldn't hire you for work because you're quite slow with a look that isn't discrete
Your boss made the right choice with those cartel fiends.
You wouldn't last a day in my youth, you lived a kinder life while I was stuck in Kinderheim 
Would've been another kid to die while I tip them my piece of mind!
You're nothing more than a swine, see why they call me a monster with my eyes
This time Anton, you won't survive another accident when you're on the brink.
I'm done with this, muddled your philosophy, now…. how about a drink?

-CAST-
Anton Chigurh: MetalFireVa
Johan Liebert: Toni Rigatoni

-PRODUCTION-
Thumbnail by: JaCoN
Written by: JaCoN, and s8n/N o
Beat: https://youtu.be/rPt7WNjwXTM
Beat Produced by: Dansonn
Mixed by: jort

Spider-Man vs. Jeff Bezos.

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