nothing left to fear

you don’t understand how to understand me
I’m a façade of complexity
marching down the street baton in hand
in fancy frills like I’m fronting the fucking band
the ground feels unstable and trembling
holding hands we brace in waiting
afraid of losing control to just let go 
and give up everything we know
we don't know...

we don’t know where the time will go
or when the reaper will reclaim what she sowed  
we’re crossing bridges while looking down our nose
we’re superstitious crossing fingers eyes and toes
in a moment the moment’s gone
you could miss it if you sneeze blink or yawn
like watching in reverse the moves you make
when you shake the dream and start to wake

you don’t understand how to understand me
I'm a façade of complexity
floating down the street flower in hand
a fucking fool if I think I’m the magician
our house of cards is rotating
shuffle a vowel to see a new meaning
skeleton tree dimensional
keys endless tetrahedral

you don’t understand how to understand me
I’m a façade of complexity
marching down the street baton in hand
in fancy frills like I’m fronting the fucking band
the ground feels unstable and trembling
holding hands we brace in waiting
afraid of losing control to just let go 
and give up everything we know
what do we know...

there’s something heavy about the weight of breath
another thing that we can’t measure so we just guess
and what’s the difference plus or minus a few Grams
there’s nothing here that we can hold in our hands 
ancient forces twisting our fates
holding doors and closing gates
one hand two hands four limbs eight
chakras balance on spinning plates

vowel movement

eventually you just become another name
on an obituary page
scrolling off history forever
as one more wave
of people passing over you bury you
in one more grave
recycling the carbon and the molecules
with the obituary page
eventually you’ll just become a memory
a fleeting glimpse
of our endlessness manifest
in this experience
of pain and of joy and indifference
living in human skin
that grows and sheds and falls again and again and again…

ownbit

bedwritten

plaque on the teeth of an empire
dirt pressed against my face 
mind control for the children
alive here and ready to waste

away
again

when you’re gone past the morning
with light half spent leaking through
the trees keep the quietest record
of all the things you meant to do

ok?
pretend 

your seas are alive with the waving
approaching high tide in your mind
a bob and float overtaking
the islands you never could find

hid away
again

plaque on the teeth of an empire
dirt pressed against my face 
mind control for the children
alive here and ready to waste

fuzzmilk

Speaking of Slime Princess, she misses you

can’t get over you

born in 1985, an adopted child of a heavy-hearted woman and a jolly/dejected father, I lived as a stranger in my skin for a while. life was not bad, it was undefined, lacking clarity and something more. ledges to latch onto on the climb through all the lessons of life were spread wildly across the face of a great mountain range with vast distances between chasms and peaks. I find recurring dreams, like winged monkeys in flying suits at night, circling the house. obviously, a classic Wizard of Oz motif. with no yellow brick road, I watch from my bedroom window... as a squadron of big men below, wearing fuzzy hats are holding silver spears, patrolling my own back yard. they move in unison through torch light flicker flames. I’m watching them marching. it’s frightening. I hear them singing, “OHREOHREOHREOHREYOHOHO…” wake up terrified and confused and alone. hear something calling me to look outside at four years old and I see the same scene I'd just seen, repeating. the men there, patrolling, their voices are booming, singing, “OHREOHREOHREOHREYOHOHO…”

recursing nightmare
see the ending at the start
nothing left to fear

thirty-three (smashing pumpkins cover)

last chance to see

a collection of songs I've made for mostly fun and some projects

music that i made over the past like 2 years that i listen to a lot

Scattered Rain

do you remember? (prod. break a leg)

wont lie so

Artist: i'll explain everything to the geese 
Album: farewell 
available everywhere, link in my bio <3

blood from stone

verse 1
play me by the heart strings
and play a little bass line underneath
you wear your charm like a worn out coat
and i’m walking along the edge of hope

was it really so decieving?
i couldn’t feel myself bleeding
numbed by the face of who i thought
was some kind of saint, but who was not



chorus 1
so don’t wait
there’s more this summer than a summer dream
i have a lot to carry and it’s buried deep
true that i i wasn’t falling in love with you
so that’s why, it’s fine
there’s nothing to lose


verse 2
glistened for the first time
until all the sweetness went sour
half afraid beneath the waves
turning to the priestess and the tower

from kissing me to fleeting
still i was like a moth to the flame
i mistook your lack of words
for some kind of want that you deferred



chorus 2
so don’t wait
there’s more this summer than a summer dream 
in this life my roots are buried by the willow trees
scared that i might be falling in love with you
but it’s fine, i’ll get by
there’s nothing to lose




bridge 
i go back to february every time i sleep
even now, the red has faded from the autumn leaves
every night it’s like im watching a movie screen
you’re up on stage and ive got a front row seat
eyes pried open as i watch you leave
these days i wish my memories would let me 
be


chorus 3
so don’t wait
there’s more this summer than a summer dream
i want a lasting lover not a two month fling
tell me i, i wasn’t falling in love with you
but i, can’t lie 
i wanted you to be
it’s fine, ill find
someone who could be
so goodbye, i tried
my “something to lose”

summer dream

Original Song
by Phil Dutton & Les Corlett

Lyrics

I was drowning in my sorrow,
With no strength left to fight.
Every whisper in the silence
only led me to the night.
I was searching for redemption,
In the shadows of my pain,
But every road that I travelled,
Just brought me back again.
	
All through the morning,
As I tried to rise and stand,
I stumbled on the memories,
Of the fire in my hands.
In the slow destruction
of my soul.
In the slow destruction,
Of my soul.

I was crippled by addiction, 
I was lost beyond belief. 
I was blinded by the notion, 
That I couldn't find relief.
I was tempted by the evil,
That was coursing through my veins.
I was praying that somebody,
Would release me from my chains.

All through the morning,
As I tried to rise and stand,
I stumbled on the memories,
Of the fire in my hands.
In the slow destruction
of my soul.
In the slow destruction,
Of my soul.
I heard someone outside knocking,
But I wouldn't let them in.
Fragile as I may have been,
I broke like porcelain.
The weight of every secret,
Was too heavy to confess,
So I built a wall around me,
In the silence of my mess.

All through the morning,
As I tried to rise and stand,
I stumbled on the memories,
Of the fire in my hands.
In the slow destruction
of my soul.
In the slow destruction,
Of my soul.
In the slow destruction,
Of my soul.

ADDICTION

friendly smiles passing with open eyes
crystal memories delude us all in time
we see just what we want to see
an idealistic view imbues the memory

like now is drowned in river current
an arrow curved around a sphere
we’re here to learn how long it takes to get back here

fear of fear our cultural belief
the time we get to give and take to keep
drip side down for hurried hearts
brown to blonde from end to start

like never ending nested Russian dolls
an arrow curved around a sphere
we’re here to learn how long it takes to get back here

carry us all shouting trending memes
nothing that you know is as it seems
flip perception on it’s head
to find old concepts we can blame shit on instead

like now is drowned in river current
an arrow curved around a sphere
we’re here to learn how long it takes to get back here

riding on the pendulum
it knows that where we’re going is where we just swung from
triple check my napkin math
square the root and follow on the circle’s path

like televising television sets
recursive screens cascading video playback
a chrysalis will bloom into a re-spawned pupal butterfly and so will you

you die like you’re a skipping track
you’re gone before you know you’re back
to come and slip into again
the consciousness you’d forgotten
like dreams you lose when you describe
how waking up feels less alive
than everything you thought was real
by now you’d think we’d know the deal

like time repeating time and time again
an arrow curved around a sphere
we’re here to learn how long it takes to get back here

like now is drowned in river current
an arrow curved around a sphere
we’re here to learn how long it takes to get back here

ontologic

plaque on the teeth of an empire

https://ericadams.wtf

ontologic

eric adams

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