prod michael harrison

please close your eyes
stop watching me 
eyes fixed to the pavement
not a pretty sight to see 

but why do i care
wind blows through the trees
ghost not even there
am i the only one who sees
clear enough to watch as your lies tear along their seams
try to tell myself 
its not as frightnight as it seems

please close your eyes
stop watching me 
eyes fixed to the pavement
not a pretty sight to see 

but why do i care
wind blows through the trees
ghost not even there
am i the only one who sees

pretty

prod by moneo
@dyingforcertain for pic <3

i pull on my hair 
refil the shattered glass 
i hold in my air
i wonder will i last

dont think its fair 
clawing, it tears
at me this year

i stay you still hurt me? :/
came with open arms.
back to places ive been
fern aligns the paths 
honest, would you care for me? 
when i come apart
feels like im just circling
right back where i started

i pull on my hair 
refil the shattered glass 
i hold in my air
i wonder will i last

dont think its fair 
clawing, it tears
at me this year

oh 
oh 
oh 
im lost

this year (moneo)

prod @stezzyxl <33


how are u with me? 
ill worry for a time 
when flowers bloom to dust
there gone before my eyes

ignoring what i said
used to go and tell her friends
wrongdoings i repent
make it ache inside my head
dripping liquor in the sand
comes in waves that i neglect
wasted time sat on the fence
now im feeling its effect

https://open.spotify.com/track/7CiiHaxnJ8XJnpPCDrwmL5?si=kT635nlKQTGYz__AHsmLNA

https://youtu.be/oB_cq54fyqI?si=MJc67wBDwbk43K-V

effect (stezzyxl)

cover of my friend auby song<33
https://soundcloud.com/auby4rc

it takes time to trust 
red line from love
why do i let you slip out my hands 
i act surprised when u went and made new friends

burden (prod. shy)

cover kinda of "take on the world" by you me at six


just say the word
and well take the world
just say ur hurt
and well face the worst

i can see
see the pain in ur eyes 
believe 
believe me i have tried
i wont
i wont pretend to know what uve been through
u should know
i wish it was me not u

just say the word
and well take the world
just say ur hurt
and well face the worst
nobody knows u the way that i know u
look in my eyes i will never desert u
just say the word
and well take the world x2

worst (you me at six)

prod Liminaldream
sadchill - https://youtu.be/bVADCzSEEdw?si=NPinYZvhiypZ8Tmz

were u always unsure 
did u care for a while
tend to find myself
hoping we reconsile

and now its not urs
see ur losing ur smile
u must feel some remorse
to act so jealous now

ooooo

dont u cry its getting u nowhere
you come to find ur actions have consiquences
i know u act under false pretenses

dont u cry its getting u nowhere
you come to find ur actions have consiquences
i know u act under false pretenses

were u always unsure 
did u care for a while
tend to find myself
hoping we reconsile

and now its not urs
see ur losing ur smile
u must feel some remorse
to act so jealous now

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

remorse

prod by caves <3
master @itsseele
@whosvacant


i see refections at the waterfront
hide my face
dont like who ive become 
know u think
i wont amount to much
i still ruin everything i touch
i still ruin everything i touch.

i wish i was better than this
im tired of thinking im worthless
woah
tired of this fleeting feeling
i look at my reflection 
i dont wanna be here 
coz i ruin everything around me
tear it all down
in anger i ruin my image
burnt images on the ground
never been somewhere so sickening
I RUINED EVERTHING 
I RUIN EVERYTHING
I RUIN EVERYTHING 
I RUIN EVERYTHING

whispers around 
was it something i said 
what should i do 
you were my only friend
if it  where my choice 
id be with u instead
ur eyes full with tear drops 
and mine full of dread 

but youd stick it out though 
if you really cared
its not surprising 
just cause and effect
well was it worth just to feel some regret?
typical im just means to an end

i see refections at the waterfront
hide my face
dont like who ive become 
know u think
i wont amount to much
i still ruin everything i touch
i still ruin everything i touch.

ruin w/ vacant

prod king theta
TY CAM FOR PIC

letters that i keep 
cus i thought it would help
youre not so nice to me 
said you meant well.
sore eyes not blinking right
cant see it for myself
lay it out in black and white 
let go of things i held

lay it out in black and white
talking just to pass the time
and silence gets to me sometimes
but ill be alright

its all unfamilar 
cant stomach it at all
used to think i need her 
dont talk anymore
rinse and repeater
watch the pages turn

i grow tired with passing hours
we still water wilted flowers

letters that i keep 
cus i thought it would help
youre not so nice to me 
said you meant well.
sore eyes not blinking right
cant see it for myself
lay it out in black and white 
let go of things i held

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

black and white

prod by michael harrison

its just how i am
distant for a while 
find my way back again
i still care, its not what it seems
do u think im terrible
been gone for weeks

i get on ur bad side 
when im all worked up again
distant when i dont feel right
its why im losing friends

curtains closed so i can mend 
im better on my own again
fall behind it never ends 
come back when im over it 

i get on ur bad side when im all worked up again 

its just how i am
distant for a while 
find my way back again
i still care, its not what it seems
do u think im terrible
been gone for weeks

ty for listening to my songs. i know i take a long time.

terrible

self prod
guitar by hiraeth
<3


in ur own ways
tell me where u stand
no. its not 2 faced
dont understand
is all that you take
left the way u found it? 
now this i cant shake
not this, i doubt it

Maybe on a different day
You’d have been nice to me
Maybe in some different ways
U formed apologies
If the weather was a different type 
Would u still be with me?
Cloudy, with seafret in sight 
Does that mean anything?
its the way that you are
i thought you loved that i hated myself, not to mention
my critiques are poor
theres nothing left in this hollow, ashen and hes tarnished
to
no ones support
i probably could do more
baby watch me fumble, every chance i get in love
im
cutting down my line
is that what you planned for my life ?
its clearly out of spite, youve done it 3 or 4 more times

shake w/ hiraeth

corbin cover
cover of "mask it to the casket" :)
https://open.spotify.com/track/16u5jqodaQ5oWqhoTxhJhe?si=CeaWjF9zSFumLTxvtCpsbg

I can't be your crutch, can't hold myself up
Most days feel like a scumbag, I'm pushing my luck
Always saw through it, puppet on a string
I'm no narcissist, not in love with me
I get too frustrated when I'm not sedated
Threw away all my passion, baby I'm paying for my actions
Why you gotta celebrate it? I think that the wall's 'bout to cave in
I'm a kraken, my feelings being drowned, yeah, I sank them
Pathetic, yeah, I'm so pathetic, I get it
I'm a menace, it's time for my penance
Confession, I've been known to cause infection
A weapon, lethally inject, no discretion, no
I can't be your crutch, can't hold myself up
Most days feel like scum, I'm pushing my luck
Always saw through it, puppet on the screen
I'm no narcissist, not in love with me
No emotion, I mask it to the casket
Can't control it, do you really want to see me relapse?
Overloaded, I think it's time I pack in
Any way you fold it, yeah, it's always gonna be a back then
No, no emotion, won't let them see
Nothing to show, no vanity
I think I've lost all sanity
I have become my worst enemy
My heart is breaking, it's more than what's fair (more than what's fair)
I'm non-existent, it's like I'm not here (like I'm not here)
Don't wanna sink again, I don't, I'm scared (I don't, I'm scared)
I'm getting tired of this

mask it (corbin cover)

ty for help @itsseele <33
self prod
guitar @hiraethsry :D

to think i owe, anything at all
taking out my hand is all that u know
theres no walking this back, not letting it go
u dont even feel bad, youl reap what u sow

im lifting your weight, i wont carry this around
leave me lacking in faith, let it all hit the ground
lead me, shackles and chains, theres no hope for me now
how long does it take?! im done dragging it out

weight

prod by Liminaldream

blink, im 24
theres still things i cant be rid of
i think i could do more
feeling younger than i am

fell distant from my friends
things felt different on my end 
i feel my stomach sinking when

standing over a hole i cant fill
going nowhere, im at a standstill
this october, it weighs like anvils

and i could last 
this december
find my flame 
in dying embers 
find my passion
and it wont change how fast im aging 
i cant take it 
i cant

blink

prod by me and jacob vallen

wont eat for a while
my stomaches been aching
and im not myself 
not as of lately
few months ill heal right? im hardly inpatient
its not feeling real, counting cracks in the pavement
takes all i have to pull my anchor out
i dont know who i am, know everything about u
takes all i have, to make the words come out
im making nothing last, im pretty anxious now
 
dont tell me "people change" like you look down on me
you always said "its nothing" its alot to me
started turning heads, wont look back at me 
was just more of the same a little differently
giving nothing back 
its not important now
things u take for granted 
let my anger out 
i just cant grasp it
nah, its not important now

takes all i have to pull my anchor out
i dont know who i am, know everything about u
takes all i have, to make the words come out
im making nothing last, im pretty anxious now

for a while

prod by melon @melonsly <333

i think its wise
to let it go unsaid
theres words that dont sit right
dont know if id regret em
but youve been so unkind 
were signs i just misread em
these feelings tucked inside 
only show through if i let em

why do i
feel so replaceable 
wonder why
thought i could wait for anyone
this might come back to bite me
if u listen at all
at every step know youl fight me
wont get far at all

u dont understand
i cant talk to u
say it all in ur absense
if i wrote a letter id find it in half 
i thought it'd be better when i got attached
u dont understand
i cant talk to u
say it all in ur absense
if i wrote a letter id find it in half 
i thought it'd be better when i got attached

i think its wise
to let it go unsaid
theres words that dont sit right
dont know if id regret em
but youve been so unkind 
were signs i just misread em
these feelings tucked inside 
only show through if i let em

unkind

prod Michael Harrison :)

i promise, i had on the tip of my tongue
these things never really work, thats just my luck
why are all my friendships just falling apart 
cant ignore i know the reason, its just not what i want

im so frustrated 
lost all my patience 
we dont talk alot im sorry 
know that i dont say this enough
just know ur in my thoughts
promise to keep in touch
maybe i
maybe i think too much

in touch

prod by jacob vallen and me

@notaheroo <33

glass i was given, it all turns to shards
why look to me when it all feels so hard?
but ill cherish ur faith in me
when they lean on ur walls and they weaken,  ill make sure its guarded

i resist temptations plaguing my head
and guard you from monsters that’s under your bed
i can’t go outside
feels like tryna kill this demon would be suicide
feel like you pulled me out from hell when our souls intertwined
swear this drink gon be the death of me but it give me life
and now she rolling brown eyes, pouring red wine up
there’s no one that i like in here girl can we go away
i’m too drunk baby i’m just tryna leave this place right now
right now im lost but ill love you when im found
im notahero but id love to stick around
it’s all just fucking up
maybe we were wrong and neither one of us was right
i need motivation just to get by
i blow out smoke into this amethyst sky

guarded w/ notahero

prod by marlon & jacob vallen

its hard to feel proud
wonder when i fell behind
i cant find a reason now
between the lines

need something i can lean on
just something for myself
people change, it seems im the only one that cant move on at all

sleep away my days, its got me feeling useless
theres alot to say, when i dont i feel like a nuisance 

sleep away i lay awake
don't follow me, my dream is fake
my blood still flows it circulates
clown on stage 

not everything revolves around you, its a hard truth to tell, all this circus has to end
i've been barely proud of myself, this is where i dwell, no more masks we used to lend
from now on it's only no repent, i just do my thing, then i got no one to blame
but in the end i did resent, think i didn't think, enough to see flames

proud w/ marlon

prod marlon

still find things so terrifying 
i forget im growing up 
ive been stuck so far behind while 
all my friends are moving on 
i try not to cry 
feel like a burden all the time 
no ambition in my life
theres no direction that feels right, to me
its all up to me, why? 
its so heavy all the time
always wrong and never right

how does anyone find meaning, i cant help but feel there's none
never ask for what i need, i don't know what i need at all  
all i care to be is just so far out of my reach 
i don't wanna leave, i just need some space to breathe

its all up to me, why?
its so heavy all the time 
always wrong and never right

heavy

prod neverforever & marlon

im on the fence
with smoke in my lungs 
i lost a friend 
burning bridges to dust
it bothers me how
ill forget in a month
i wont think about 
the damage ive done

im just worn out
indifferent to everything
and nothing seems to matter
ive grown into apathy
im tired of trying to keep my feelings on a shelf
why should i need an excuse, when i need time for myself

im on the fence
with smoke in my lungs 
i lost a friend 
burning bridges to dust
it bothers me how
ill forget in a month
i wont think about 
the damage ive done

evergarden

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