the singing backups for this bit are sending me holy shit

Alen as Pico
Cole as Hank
Written by: Alen & ColeTheCole
Mixing & Mastering / Announcer: Light
Beat Produced by: Marsad Men
Thumbnail by: Jordy

(0:10)
FAC RAP BATTLES
PICO
VERSUS
HANK
BEGIN

(0:20) Pico:
Wanted posters everywhere; I’ve got the heat in gun and pen
But I’d get second hand embarrassment having you dead again
I come packin’ two gats, on the track I’m spreadin warfare
I would love to see your arms, if your ass actually had a pair
Cut you off, like your scalp, cause I’m going for a combo 
Using this uzi oughta crush a clone worse than Piconjo
Endanger the masses? There’s no way that I’ll spare ‘ya
‘Cause this Convict’s came to my town and he’s messing with the sheriff!

(0:40) Hank:
Somewhere in Pennsylvania, Fulp began to make new ground
A ‘site made to give the net’s first gifted creators huge ground
Alongside all the art pieces, this edgy little nuisance came
Who’s now only remembered for his presence in a rhythm game
Combat’s in the name, I’ve resided in Hell slaying Gods
The most you’ve done’s shot some alien children and aggressive goths
So, for you to defeat me? That weed’s getting you trippy
I haven’t seen a bigger clown running amuck since Tricky
You kid me? Your rapping ain’t doing nothing to Hank, man
With those shots it’s no wonder you’re in the shadow of Tankman
Got Earth on my back, you’re learnin’ bout apples and oranges
I’d kill ‘ya with sick rhyme but you’ve already a disorder, kid 
Been here nineteen years and counting, meanwhile, your status:
No sequel for two decades now? That’s what I call Madness
Be it verbal or physical, in a battle, you’d be canned
Gettin’ blammed ‘out this duel - a fate by your own hands

(1:22) Pico:
Talkin about relevancy? You don’t really have a front
Take a lesson from Deimos and learn to keep your mouth shut
I’m serious, keep spittin’ all this garbage shit within your lines
I’ll make sure that you end up with your jaw ripped off another time
Your bark is big for someone who’s continuously decomposing
Only living ‘cause his killers wish to keep the bloodshed going
And frankly, I’m content as a goated, one-time, big hit
Then start my tale decades ago and be fully unfinished
I mow down foes like they’re nothin; the Uberkids will tell you
Once I’ve got you in my sights, you’ll be begging Jesus to help you
You’re not impressing me, seeing how many times your life’s been closing off
You reigning here’s a case of the Improbability Drive going off
Your shit was gettin’ pretty hot, you got yourself a brand new bod
A mad metal monstrosity; reminding me of a Ghettobot
You’re tough but comin’ to rap it’s so clear that you just don’t fit
You are what you eat, my shots hit harder every time I spit
Lore’s a total mess, viewers begging for some clarity
Never dying; wish that held true for your popularity 
This battle’s done, the session's over; no need for us to fight on
What’d we learn today? Don’t fuck with Newgrounds greatest icon

(2:12) Hank:
This your attempt at scarin’ me? You ain’t getting too far
The Sheriff and his cronies posed more of a threat than you are
When Twitter caught an eye, you were doomed to be a dead boy
Went from a brave school hero to a cat ears wearing femboy
Even if your bars were hot, you’d still fail to have me stunned
Consider yourself steaming? I literally killed the sun
It sucks to do but you’ve rightfully earned this brutal schooling
I would say I’ve put this mutt down but Nene would start drooling
Such a mismatch; you’d never compare to what I’ve built, trash
Once this bout is over I’ll have your ass slaughtered like Flash
Your versus stunk, you’ll be forgotten; like your spur, you reek of evil
This kid’s an even worse joke than his April Fools sequel

Pico vs. Hank J. Wimbleton. Rap Battle #4

Video coming out May 26th.

AlaskanSam as Gundham Tanaka
SnakeBite126 as Ace Ventura
Kamren as Monokuma
Written by Trakked and Dani
Beat produced by Adamack
Thumbnail by Trakked

Battle:
Gundham:
I await in the very depths of hell for my rival
However, unlike your sequel, there shall be no revival.
You've the mind of a child and the body of a skeleton
You shall be another cowering at my deadly malevolence 
Human life does not concern me; yet your films certainly do
Because racism is one of your many abundant issues!
Even for a demon like myself, I cannot tolerate you
A failed SeaWorld attraction that no one could operate, too!?
Kehehe.. another beastspeaker; it seems your feats are weaker.
Toppled a tribe, yet still put in a deeper sleeper
I would curse you with a short life, yet that is too late
For you've already gone and erased your own fate

Ace:
Skunk-hair wants to squabble 'gainst the Ace of spitting swiftly?
You must be simply sickly if you think you're looking spiffy
You kinda tick me, so I'll just unleash the kitties
Then your deadly little devas would be deadly little mincemeat
(Fast rap)
You look in the garbage for your attire, I wear Hawaiian and I spit fire
No more nice guy, you make me tired, putting an end to the Ultimate Tryhard
(Normal Rap)
You're at least D tier, so you better not come crying
I'd say your name was cool buuuuut that'd be lying

Gundham:
You DARE insult my namesake?! I'll tear you limb from limb!
Though not even my malice can contest your endless sins
Dare to talk about style? Kehehe, I'll keep that noted,
Save it for the times you've been constantly transphobic! 
Your name may have come back, yet it still isn't the same
For you've eroded past your prime and now a Jr. claims your fame
I would savor the stew of death and add you as an ingredient,
Though I wouldn't want to share hell with you, sexual deviant. 

Ace:
Alrighty then, this skunk should get a brain surgeon
The Ultimate Breeder but still died as a virgin
Even with your shitty deathmatch, I'd expect some better flows, 
But just like your kill, you can't do jack shit on your own!
And no, you’re a creature of something, keep on braggin’
When you’re looking like you only lived off of Dungeons and Dragons
Rhymes more absent than your father, he shoulda laid off the booze, sir
He didn't see his son grow up a loo-hoo-hooser
See, I'm walking over you just like your execution
Making pentagrams won't save you from being an intrusion
When I'm finished porkin' Sonia, I'll steal this win in my car
Call me if you wanna die a third time; here's my card


Gundham Tanaka vs Ace Ventura - Danganronpa vs Anything

friday night funkin, am i right, ladies?
MetalFireVA as Tankman
JustGamer as Scratch Cat
Beat produced by LionRiddims
Written by Trakked
Mixed by Trakked
Thumbnail by Trakked
Art by Grenade

Battle:
Scratch Cat:
(Hey!) I’mma teach a lesson and I expect you to listen,
Bout to fire off shots and I don’t need your ammunition
This cat’s out the bag! Here’s a rule you should keep, hack
Got envy towards me? I suggest you press the green flag
The MIT MC vs NG? Please!
Why did FNF revive this pile of STDs?
Flash got trashed and I’m still living on
While this sailor mouth must still live with his mom

Tankman:
Look what the cat dragged in, a wack rap that I can trash on
Need to shut that mouth, kid, this pussy needs a tampon
Don’t need tanks to show you that I’m scary
Doesn’t take a pro to know your coding’s not binary

Scratch Cat:
I create the building blocks for bright stars in the future
While you create a place for the world’s biggest losers
Now kids watch your stuff, you should know you’re corrupt
Really think you’re tough? well-

Tankman:
Ugh, shut the fuck up! 
I want you to go home, if you won’t though
I’ll start runnin’ you over and I’ll have ya goin’ “Oh noes!”
Think you fired shots, but you.. missed me, I’m
Gonna.. flip this battle like a.. 69
Bruh. How could you beat me without your guard on, 
I mean, it’s killing my hard-on and you fuckin’ know I hate that
Won’t need Steve to beat this sleazy cheater, leave a mark on
This robot with its parts gone, scar Tron so you’ll take last

Scratch Cat:
Listen, mister, clowns are something I don’t tolerate
You’re awful and you’ve fallen off, I’ll dominate
Your page and leave a copy-pasted, awkward wasted flop erased
You’re not so great, while I’m a scholar mocking this unlawful snake that Johnny made
You think you’re manly with your phallus jokes and war crimes?
Please, I’m a cat and I’ve been even tougher more times

Tankman:
What’s this slander being spread against me?
Motherfuckin’ OG vs a dead meme?
Go stuff your words in your gullet and shove it up where the sun don’t shine
So tough, while you’re nothing, can’t even punch a line
(yeah) Not afraid to shove a shottie up your spine
I’d fuck your mother, but I’d prolly have to cut in line

Scratch Cat:
This captain is cappin’ if he thinks that I’m gonna cave in
Maybe drop the tanks and go back to your mother’s basement

Tankman:
Damn, even flashbangs are less grating than that voice
So why don’t you shut it up, go and suck my sack, boy! (OHHH)

Tankman vs Scratch Cat - Rap Cypher #29

Which crazed fan has the best pen game? today we find out!

RNG as Stan

Jessebox as Anne

Written by: ThatOneDude1509

Mixed by: LightIWNL

Beat by: 2Deep

LYRICS:

[Stan] (0:11)
Dear Annie, I wrote you but you still ain’t callin
With that gut, looks like white’s the only castle that you’re rockin 
But I’m Joshin, I even got a poster on my wall pinned
Up of your movie, it’s almost as tearable as your plot is! 
Written letters from our idols got both of us into messes
But at least mine didn’t use his own writing to bash my head in
My idols still in his prime while yours is old and defenseless 
Lose sleep over someone your age, what is this young and the restless? (Oh)
Your crooked like italics but to off your idols bold 
Cause the only tragic endings are the ones your author wrote
Anyways, I hope you get this back, opposite your fans
Hit me back, just to chat, Sincerely yours, this is Stan 

[Annie Wilkes] (0:46)
You've fallen flat Stanley, (Uh) I’m crushing you with words
Cause I’m bored after sitting through that cockadoodie verse
Everything you boast about I was the one to do it first
Car crashes and child murder? hereditary but worse! (Ahh)
Drive your wife over the edge leaving her and you to die
The worst accident to take place on a bridge since PewDiePie 
Saying I’m the bad guy? Even Billie Eilish thinks you’re psycho!
Sleeping with unconscious minors and blaming your idol 
And killing your own wife while pregnant with your child 
A worse murder suicide than when Shady dropped Revival!
Try following the footsteps of a Rap God and get wrapped up
You’re a fake, can the real Slim Shady please stand up? (Ohhh)

[Stan]
This ratched nurse should study Dre, if she wants to be the best
‘Least when I get Paul on the line it’s not with the EMS
Your fantasies are pretend like airplanes in the night sky
And yet you still managed a worse love story than Twilight!
When it comes to bitches with mallets, even Harley’s less crazy
Thinking my ass is grass? Your lawnmowers hardly graze me
And I don’t have to be Shady to leave you outshadowed
So underground no wonder you hit the mantle (Woo)

[Annie Wilkes]
And this is from the guy whose name was soiled by dumb children (Huh?)
Thinking it’s a dido, no! You're a looser cannon than Nick is!
Spewing so much cap, Em would sign you for a daughter 
You’re a starter, man even your censored version hits harder!
Got a blondie in a killshot when he meets my colt cobra
The tea may have gone cold, but the beef is just not over
So I’ll toss ya’ the quill as a testament to your skill
You can write your final letters as part of your last will!

Anne Wilkes vs Stan - RNG Rap Battles

For this battle, two dream demons duke it out. Who has the cutting edge? You decide!

The video is on the way!

Alex M. as Freddy Krueger
Cri as Darkrai
JesseBoxVO & D3_sp41r as the Elm Street Girls
Beat produced by Hollywood Legend
Mixed by Serena
Thumbnail by JK03
Art by Lazer
Written by Jacobrl99, Birdjormungandr, and Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Additional Writing Help by SPM1000, Raisu Battle, and Awesome Ayden

The Elm Street Girls:
One, two, Freddy’s coming for you 
Three, four, said he’d muddy your lore
Five, six, blinded by his eclipse
Seven, eight.. 

Freddy Krueger:
Ending your Dark Reign, bitch!
Cut from the same thread, yet you come apart at the seams,
This tame threat Banette needs an ability to wreak Bad Dreams
I’m the achieved beat sweeper, the Elm Street reaper,
Intruding pleasant dreams, wet sheets drowning deep sleepers
This mother-pucker’s weak to fairies while wearing that awful scarf?
I think I’d know a Derry Queen sucking the soul from ITs vanilla arc
Dark Void as a signature, fucking forged by a beagle
Avoiding other villagers to protect them from my Dream World
Prone on the weak, since damaged souls make me whole
“Bon appetit, bitch”, banished to atone as a lonely ghost

Darkrai:
Wes Craven a New Nightmare, couldn’t find the right scare
You should’ve stopped right there, with the way you write scares
If you wanna fight fair, step into the light Fred
I’ll show you how the night ends, with your fuckin’ ninth death
It’s Darkrai, the dark type that’s casting fright on this pedophile
With harsh rhymes, of dark times when cast back, I’ll end the life
Of a child, stuck in denial, of Amanda’s haunted actions
Piling fathers like Spiritomb, the bastard son of 100 madmen!
Don’t need to use the real world for me to expose ‘ya
Wes went shopping for Serial Killers forming Freddy Kroger!
This Dex offender’s packed with Bundy, BTK, and Manson
Geez, with how you prey on kids, you need a seat with Chris Hansen!
Since your relevance has faded, nights are spent with another Freddy
With your cheesy puns and greasy mug, I’m sure they have a job ready!

Freddy Krueger:
“The souls of children give me strength”, fucker, try to understand
Will he, Freddy Krueger, take Alice to Wonderland?
I’ll unplug you for an upper hand ‘cause power is my toy, bitch!
Exploiting your weak spots as if I’m pulling off the void glitch!
Never will I ever, weather another lecture
From a lesser specter, bested by a feather
The crescent is better, prevents all your efforts,
sweatin’ her presence, waning for her pleasure
Ask Rick-San how I get my kicks in, I’ve mastered striking swipes
Shouldn’t mess with MK’s best, bitch! Aren’t ya weak to fighting types?
I mean looking at your fanbase? Shit, I thought my glove was edgy
When I banish you like Palkia, tell ‘em you were sent by Freddy!

Darkrai:
I’m not affected by your rhymes, I’ll protect Alice through the night
Hex him with his reflection, then Freddy’s Dead by Daylight
I’m bested by insects, yet your Nasty Plots truly bug me
Film after Film, Kill after Kill, this bastard’s never evolving!
Your trivial Pursuit’s revolting, Boo into Bo, everyone sleeps on you
Not a peep, this marred Mareep counts sheep to find actual use
Tensions boiled over on Elm Street when you ran out of steam
Because preying on teens won’t make this nightmare a Dream
Like Jason, Super-Freddy’s unmasked in this year’s masquerade
Shackled to the Bargain Bin, the rap battle slave is left a basketcase

Darkrai vs Freddy Krueger - Pokémon vs Anything!

The final demo track I recorded for duck vs goose
Dated February 2022

The Duck Song vs Untitled Goose Game - Eddie's Demo

For some of my recent battles, I recorded quick proof-of-concept demos after one or two writing sessions to gauge opinions on the direction the project was going. I'll be posting the ones that differ meaningfully from the final product here.

Dated February 9th 2022

Duck:
Hey!
I don’t think you’ll be much competition for me
I mean, my animator was literally in ERB
You see, I’m bout to run amok on this inferior schmuck
You wanna fuck with duck? Then sir, you are out of luck
A decade on the web and I’m still going strong
Now you’re only getting bread from grandmas at the pond
You’re a fad, for a day you were the hot thing to play
But then they waddled away ‘till the very next game

Goose:
You’re playing the original Goose Game
Face-to-face, ain’t a wild goose chase
Usain Bolt how I swoop in to your roost
Lay with your mother till she’s laying my goose egg
Good heavens! - Then the next Tuesday
Back to your pond and grabbed ya mum’s honkers
She’s my side piece - now that’s my new option
Hatched, now you’ve got a batch of new offspring
It’s your chance, cuz that’s who you ought to
Ask to view all your tacky new content
I’m the gold standard handling toddlers
You don’t take silver, you’re repping COPPA
Back to your momma, in case you hadn’t heard
She’s going down when I pipe her like Flappy Bird
You better duck, Duck, Goose is on a Hunt (zap!)
We’re playing Duck Duck Goose and you’re a one-tap

The Duck Song vs Untitled Goose Game - Proof-Of-Concept

Dilly as Mega Man
VinnyO as X

Mancha as Shovel Knight

Beat by Casey

Lyrics written by Casey, with help from Special Inquisitor Rayyan

Thumbnail by Casey

Mega Man:
Looks like it's not just your shovel you've gone and put in the ground
It's the Blue Bomber rocking the Cerulean Coward!
I'll make you dig your grave and jump inside if you've really come to fight
Leave you pleading on your knees like Wily, call you Grovel Knight
I saved the planet twelve times! How 'bout this cosplayer?
You beat a ghost 'cause she was running Renaissance Fair
Ran through a legion, its liege, and defeated three other people
To save your GF from evil? Your armor's not layered!
Stop and watch with your awful locket, your conquest is all in vain
I don't got to charge up the bombs I'm dropping, 'cause Ferrels knows you're not a pain
Try taking your musical scrolls from who inspired this
Leave this gold digger in the cold like Polar Knight did

Shovel Knight:
I've fought with war machines, I'll be frank, I might scoff 
'Cause I'd thought this trite bot could fire off a slight shot
No matter, I'll make sure that I valiantly defend till the end
You're an android? Allocate this to your memory then!
You keep on trying with Wily, but where your victories have gone
Is just another cliffhanger when you don't finish the job!
Your games get little applause, repeating weird tropes
In the shade of Light's other works, simply a Zero

X:
Bring him into this again and I'll make an example of ya:
Don't put a treasure hunter up against the Maverick Hunter!
It's in the name that I'm crossing you out, firing off flames and napalm from my mouth
Your Shovel of Hope is about to fall out with the hand you've been dealt if you're opting to joust
I'm calling you out, so you best take a swig of that lame shit you got from that trout king
'Cause if you dare to be haughty around me, I'm ready to break all that armor you're walking around in
This glistening little child thinks he's on some Sigma grind
But I think I'll call him Baz the way he seems to scream and cry
Do you copy? Beam me somewhere else, give me a real fight
He couldn't pick this win up in his dreams, like Shield Knight

Shovel Knight:
Even I don't have the willpower within your bored supporters
For your lore has got no order, but I'll still leave you quartered!
I'd stomp this pompous twit with honor, wit and confidence
But I'd not need a knock on the noggin just to put this bot out of consciousness
So I'm dropping hits, won't stop with a pausing glitch 'cause I'm awful pissed
You'll be walking off from this combat sick when I strike you down with sound - that's the Doppler effect
But have you honestly thought of this? All this talk about Copy Chips
Rockman here's rocking rockets, thought he'd spit hard like the roster of bots that he fought with is
But what I've seen more often is
The promise of justice followed with a botched DDoS attempt!
I saved the world from an ethereal nemesis!
You're a glorified officer toting self righteous messages!
Sure I've had my share of spin-offs but I'm thinking that the odd one
Was when your creator signed up for a very different Yacht Club
So my advice is, next time you want to match up: 
I might suggest you take your memories and make a backup

Mega Man vs Shovel Knight - Indie Game Rap Battles #1

The demo track I recorded for Lofi Girl vs Cassette Girl.
Dated January 2023

Lofi Girl vs Cassette Girl - Eddie's Demo

Welcome back everyone to the New Year! To kick off this (hopefully) busy year of GRB, we bring you Professor Oak vs John Madden, the Super Bowl special! This was written back in 2020 so not only is it written in a fairly old style, it was also written before the death of Madden. We mean no disrespect to him even though there is quite a lot of insults thrown his way. I hope you all enjoy!

CAST:
Swizkii as John Madden
Zawesome as Professor Oak

LYRICS:
JOHN MADDEN:
Alright, break, line up, we’ve only got four quarters
To take down an old man, too scared to be a real explorer
You’ve got a lot to learn before you step to the pros
It’s as much in the heart as it is the X’s and O’s
So here’s a guy who’s studied pocket freaks all his life
Who sends a kid away so he can bang a widowed wife
Your best invention’s an index and you still miss some info
Like don’t stick your head out a moving car window
I’ve thought of thousands of plays and plans for each game
You’ve learned 150 critters, but not your grandson’s name
Now it’s the end of my verse, let me give you the rundown
I’ve scored first on your ass, an opening drive touchdown

PROFESSOR OAK:
Hello there, welcome to the world of battle rap
I’m Professor Oak, fly enough to dish out wing attacks
When I rhyme, you decide between getting flamed, drowned, or vine whipped
You only touchdown when you drop your bag of chips
Oh, that’s new, my Pokédex just tracked an intrusion
An overweight, lazy, bastard; a Snorlax evolution
You’ll feel the Wrath when you’re spinning like a Poliwhirl
With those boobs I can’t tell if you’re a boy or you’re a girl

JOHN MADDEN:
I’ve got the cutting edge to chop Oak down to size
You can’t win a rap battle if you don’t flow on the mic
I’ll knock you on your ass like WHAM! BANG! BOOM!
I’m rocking more bootlegs than you got in kids’ bedrooms
Your studies get put to shame when a child claimed your fame
So get your head out of your ass and get your head in the game

PROFESSOR OAK:
Hey You, Drinkachu, you’re about to get zapped
When I pic my opponent, me and my Pokémon Snap
I already said I’m fly so you must have had enough of me
If not, I’ll be flipping this square like it’s Puzzle League
For a color commentator, you seem pretty pale
And when EA's in the game, that's an automatic fail
Now your fame was Raided before you knew what was happening
Even got kicked off the box art, it must be Madden-ing
I roll like a Voltorb; sparking tracks with my rhymes
You’ve been Super Bowled over, the box score never lies

Cover Art by Commander Jacob
Mixed and Mastered by Freshy Kanal

Professor Oak vs John Madden | GridLine Rap Battles Season 3

Lyrics/Beat: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1oRqEeEbJ6oVLUtx_xc6Ty9FjCOzXYKQOMhJWQeV--5g/edit
Alex M. as Junkrat
garbageGothic as Misato Tachibana
Matt Raichous as Roadhog
RaccoonBroVA as Koujirou Sasahara
Written by Legengo and MetaMachine
Mixing by Special Inquisitor Rayyan
Beat arrangement by Raisu Battles
Thumbnail by JK03
Beat by Anywaywell
Hint for next OVvA: "Running Tracks at Record Speed"

Junkrat vs. Misato Tachibana - Overwatch vs. Anything #1

Backup / Behind the scenes account for Eddiefrb and ANIMATION VS ANYTHING

The Duck Song vs Untitled Goose Game - Eddie's Demo

Extrafrb

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