moving af but I feel a spark when intact or separated from the shitty system of a world

sad boi

produced by raspo
stream on spotify > https://open.spotify.com/track/0518HALn6XvLdlk6AFRmrj?si=ynczUVDdT96IniiNuecjLQ

I took down my guard
And gave you my heart
Just to end up depressed
You tore me to pieces
And now that I’m bleeding
You still won’t confess? 
The way that you read me 
You played me so heavy
It’s like we were chess
The place that you hurt me
From being so thirsty
As deep as it gets, I mean

I just get lost in my head, I just wanted us but our lives were a mess in a bunch
So why did you tell me that I was the person you loved, if it wasn’t true 
Been writing these letters, addressed em to you
They’re written in blood but the color is blue like your face, when I’m saying this shit to your face, I’d assume 
I’m so done with you now, don’t call me or text me, it’s just too upsetting 
I don’t wanna hide in my room, in my bed, with my head under covers
I’d end up regretting it all wrong, which I don’t wanna do 
This is my soul on the page, opening up and its all on display
Hoping that someone will finally know me, and just wanna stay
And just wanna stay
I just wanna say 

I took down my guard
And gave you my heart
Just to end up depressed
You tore me to pieces
And now that I’m bleeding
You still won’t confess? 
The way that you read me 
You played me so heavy
It’s like we were chess
The place that you hurt me
From being so thirsty
As deep as it gets 

I was just thinking of you, and us
I just have no where to go, or trust 
I just keep getting no love, and fuck
Knife in my back so I always run
From issues and problems
Can never just solve em, to tell you the truth in this madness
Pushing my mind off of the edge of my canvas
Feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders like atlas
I dial my plug, fill up on gas shit, cause he always gas me
when nobody else does, been stationed here stuck on my own, in my house
I want a home, but you ain’t about it and I now I keep doubting if I’ll be enough for somebody
You’ve broken my heart, and that shit was as tough like karate
Feeling ours chops, all through my body, the picture gets spotty
I only remember the good, and forget all the bad
But that’s where I’m wrong, cause both what we had 
I only remember the good, and forget all the bad
But that’s where I’m wrong, cause both what we had 
But that’s where I’m wrong, cause both what we had 

I took down my guard
And gave you my heart
Just to end up depressed
You tore me to pieces
And now that I’m bleeding
You still won’t confess? 
The way that you read me 
You played me so heavy
It’s like we were chess
The place that you hurt me
From being so thirsty
As deep as it gets, look

Stream on Spotify!

Trust Issues

Dear Depression,

fighting my Demons (feat. MADE 4 Christ)

Lyrics : Jonathon Martinez (Presence)
Instrumentation : Samy Loudini (Shaiah)
Mix & Master : Gregory Goldstein
 
Lyrics :
Your mother called me up last week and she told me that she knows we're through
And she always knew
The two of us would never work
Now her daughter's hurt
And she said 'I put the blame on you'
Wow
Maybe you're lying to her
Or maybe you're lying to yourself
Or maybe I've got it twisted
But
I'm pretty sure I'm the one who dealt
With somebody lying to my face for months
And finding out that someone else was what they want
And honestly moving on is fine
I just wish you would've told me
Cause the way that I ended up having to find out completely broke me
And to make it worse now you're lying to everybody about what happened
I guess if you just put the target on my back then
Nobody's gonna question any of your actions

Did you tell your family about
The day that I surprised you
With flowers at your house
Only to find you laying there with somebody else
You cheated on me
Then turned around and put the blame on me
For being the one to leave

But I wouldn't have left if you didn't leave first
You lie with every breath that you say that I hurt you
More than you hurt me
You weren't trustworthy no
And the fact that I ever thought that you were
Is still crazy
I guess that maybe
Love makes you blind
For better and worse
I woulda known that you lied
If I observed
All of these blatant signs
But I was cursed
With loving you way more than you were worth
Out of all of my priorities, I made you my first
But you wasted my time, then to make things worse you
Lied to everyone about what happened soon as you got the chance
And I understand, but before you go I've just gotta ask you

Did you tell your family about
The day that I surprised you
With flowers at your house
Only to find you laying there with somebody else
You cheated on me
Then turned around and put the blame on me
For being the one to leave

For being the one to leave
For being the one to leave
For being the one to leave

The One to Leave

Nightmare

produced by @chivnti

lyrics:

nose lame as fuck get it peirced like a bull
i live and i die to be different
if we fuck just know that my hearts not involved
i learned i could numb my emotions

think my body dont make tears no more
couldnt give a fuck about the feelings
fuck a plan last thing im gonna do is pull through
too busy sharing thoughts with the ceiling

mid september ill be fucking crazy
swear to god im ugly no one wanna date me
i been so fucked up i want it please dont save me
whenever im stuck like this all my dreams amazing

when i make plans respond within the fuckin minute
im not busy but i hate it
10 minutes tops and im not waiting

like what the fuck u comtemplating 
for so long
u wouldnt do this if i made it
and blew up

i always hated being sheltered
im not urs just give it up
i go to parties full of strangers
just to come thru and fuck it up

at least my music going good
but knowing me ill prolly fuck it up
tonight my head is feeling good
but of course i always drug it up

i went from always being late
to pretty much never showing up
i went from i dont have a plug
to damn my plug is coming clutch

think my body dont make tears no more
couldnt give a fuck about the feelings
fuck a plan last thing im gonna do is pull through
too busy sharing thoughts with the ceiling

art found at http://johnnysboots.tumblr.com/post/76103773768

scissor hands (prod. chivnti)

"the way we used to love." coming this winter. . . my next album is on its way.

Apple Music - https://foundation-media.lnk.to/eliworthless

Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/track/4Q6hOZoviHB2yT9igwLtQc?si=2Jqt3LRnSvOwzIuedoHIGA

eli.

https://www.imelilucas.com
https://www.youtube.com/elilucasmusic
https://www.instagram.com/imelilucas
https://www.twitter.com/imelilucas

JOIN MY DISCORD! be able to talk to me anytime!

https://discord.gg/2HJVEVh

LYRICS

i'm always so alone
even when surrounded 
by people that i know

i'm always so astounded
by my ability to ruin everything
losing friends and starting fires
everyone thinks i'm a liar

i always stay at home
cause i'm not good in public
i sit here on my phone

i'm always disappointed 
i watch them live their lives
i wish that i were happy
victim of my generation
time machines can not erase it

who am i supposed to be?
when will i be complete?
when will they be proud of me?
it's getting harder to see

slit my wrists, bloody fists
questioning why i exist

pain persists, evil gifts
fucking up my life to shit

i'm worthless, i'm worthless
i'm worthless, slit my wrists until i bleed out

i try to stay strong
no matter what i do,
i'm always in the wrong

it never gets easier,
but maybe that's the point
it's part of growing up
messing up and learning from it
that's just life, it's necessary

clinging to hope
what else is there to live for?
got nowhere to go
what else is pain good for?

i am confident that your life has purpose
it's okay, you will get through it
don't give up cause someone needs you

please, don't give up
gotta stay strong, gotta move on
gotta know hope, when you feel low
please, you gotta know
that someone needs you

please, don't give up
gotta stay strong, gotta move on
gotta know hope, when you feel low
please, you gotta know
that i need you

worthless

Music video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ED8-mym1uXU
You are not alone. It is okay to not be okay. Message me on instagram @seon_47. I am here for you
Maybe I can be so sad when I’m not 
Life can be so lonely and I’m stuck up in the thoughts
Everything I’m wantin I can have it at the top
But I’m at the bottom I’m surrounded by the rocks

If I had love would I still feel this lonely 
I was by myself and nobody had to show me 
Never gave a fuck nobody tried to know me 
Handing out these guns but nobody tryna blow me

I don’t wanna be here I just wanna go 
Wanna leave my family everybody that I know 
Suicidal thought will they miss me when I go 
Tryna get high i been riding all the lows

Finally getting sober and it bringing back the pain
Sunny for a minute now it’s cloudy with the rain 
Shit falling down and it bringing back mistakes 
future looking blurry I don’t see it in my fate 

Whyy oh whyyy
I don’t wanna be here I just wanna die
Always been sad Itll never be alright 

Please come and save me I really need saving 
These are not just lyrics I’m really not playing 
This life that I’m living I feel like I’m faking
If I can’t be real then it time for the taking

Come take my life and my soul
When I’m not even old
I been searching for hot cause my heart is so cold 
say I dont listen not doing I’m told
don’t fit the system I’ll never be gold 

If I hit escape would i just fall and go to hell 
Moses say I would but who is he to go and tell
Wanna judge me now but not gon hear me when I yell 
I been crying out said I really need some help

Nobody wanna talk nobody picking up the vibes 
Smile on my face but they can’t tell that it’s a lie 
Cover for the sorrow that I’m feeling deep inside 
Hit em with the shock when they hear i wanna die

Whyy oh whyyy
I don’t wanna be here I just wanna die
Always been sad Itll never be alright

Video

never be alright [prod. kado] (video in description)

Error In Ur Perfect Little World

Cover art by    @ peachy.rosie    (on instagram)

LYRICS

Making me sick
Lose my shit
Go party
I'm staying in
Once again
We're parting
Girl, do you sin 'cause I sin
I'm sorry
Losing my shit
Can we sit and restart it
You rip me up shawty
Do it no sorries
I show you love always
You give it back hardly
I want you so strongly
You want me back partly
One look and I'm concrete
That look that say "don't stop me"
...well I won't

All you want is just a break
Don't know why you feel this way
Did your heart stand still?
Won't you look at my face?
Can't you tell me what's his name?
I need someone I can blame
When I'm taking these pills
When I let myself fade

Error In Ur Perfect Little World

f1rst aid [prod. f1a]

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