He sat alone in the dark, haunted by the ghost of a love that refused to die. She was gone, yet her presence lingered in every corner of his mind. He had tried everything to forget her—burning memories, erasing messages, numbing himself to the world—but nothing worked.

She had once saved him, pulling him from the suffocating darkness that had been his only companion. In her, he found a home he had never known, a sanctuary where he could lay bare his soul. He had revealed to her the broken, wounded child he kept hidden from the world, trusting her with parts of himself he’d never shared with anyone else. Her eyes had been his salvation—soft, warm, and healing—like a potion that made him feel alive, if only for a fleeting moment.

“I told you I had no space for new wounds,” he whispered into the emptiness. “You were supposed to heal me, not break me.” But she had. She had taken the love he gave, the raw, vulnerable truth of himself, and shattered it.

“Maybe I wasn’t enough for you,” he muttered bitterly. “Or maybe you never really loved me at all.” I don't know anymore . 

The distance between them had been a cruel torment, but he endured it because he loved her. He fought through every moment of doubt and despair, giving everything to make it work. But still, she left. She abandoned him, casting him back into the same abyss he’d once escaped, the one where love was just another lie. She dropped him as easily as his father had abandoned him, leaving him to face the darkness alone.

Her love had once been his light, but now it was his curse, a blade that tore him apart piece by piece. To survive, he had to kill the man she once knew, burying the warmth and softness she had awakened in him. What remained was unrecognizable—cold, hollow, and forever tethered to the ruins of her memory.

And yet, her voice still lingered in his heart, an echo he could never silence. Despite the pain, his love for her only grew stronger, deeper, and more unrelenting with each passing day. The sound of her laugh was still like a song in his head, and everywhere he looked, he saw her eyes staring back at him. Even his darkest self, the side he kept locked away, had surrendered to her love, bowing its head before her.

If he could, he would tell her one last time:
“I will always love you. I’m sorry for everything. Truly, I’m sorry. I’ll carry your love inside my heart, always. Maybe one day, I’ll find the strength to stroke your soul, kiss your forehead, and hold you in my arms forever.

I miss you, my little girl, and I’m always looking out for you.”

But the silence swallowed his words, leaving only the shadow of a love that refused to die.

EVEN IF I KILL EVERY FEELING INSIDE ME I’LL STILL LOVE YOU AND IT WILL ALWAYS TEAR ME APART

ARTWORK BY @farzad_fhn
MASTERING BY www.instagram.com/im_dispa?igsh=MT…aTVwdnIzdHJqZA==
STORY WRITTEN BY ME 
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EVEN IF I KILL EVERY FEELING INSIDE ME I’LL STILL LOVE YOU AND IT WILL ALWAYS TEAR ME APART

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One day I hope to find that lost boy, the one swallowed by shadows, his heart stitched with silence. I want to take his hand, pull him from the ache, and show him the light still waits at the edge of all this sorrow. That he is not broken, just bruised, not forgotten, just hiding. And maybe, just maybe, he’ll believe he deserves the sun again

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EVEN IF I KILL EVERY FEELING INSIDE ME I’LL STILL LOVE YOU AND IT WILL ALWAYS TEAR ME APART

FARZÆD