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the captain

Yuh,
Yuh, 
Of fucking course. 
You don’t need me anymore right?
Being used, guess I should be used to it.
Everybody’s doing it. I’m not so new to it.
I’ve gotta lotta fake friends (fake friends).
I’ve gotta lotta false wins (false wins).
I’ve gotta lotta dreams that were crushed and burned but I guess I should be used to it.
Everybody’s doing it. I’m not so fucking new to it. 

I’m tired of the pain, I’m tired of the shame.
You fucking used me up, trapped me in your game.
Now I’m like a ghost, haunting my own name.

Fading away like I was never wanted. (Never wanted).
All I ever wanted, was to share my heart (Share my fucking heart).
But like an old work of art, nobody really wants it (nobody wants me).
When the artist, the artist is still alive (Still alive).

I’m tired of the pain, I’m tired of the shame.
You fucking used me up, trapped me in your game.
Now I’m like a ghost, haunting my own name.

Any real friends, they are all dead (All dead to me).
Any old lovers, they cannot see (refuse to see).
What the pain I took from giving, you know that I am loving. All I ever, forever wanted was for someone to accept me, and love me like I’m wanted. Just love me, love me for me.

I’m tired of the pain, I’m tired of the shame.
You fucking used me up, trapped me in your game.
Now I’m like a ghost, haunting my own name.

If I cry, would you laugh at that?
If I bleed, would you laugh at that?
If I die, would you fucking laugh at that? 

I’m tired of the pain, I’m tired of the shame.
You fucking used me up, trapped me in your game.
Now I’m like a ghost, haunting my own name.

Go fucking use someone else. 
You were so close to me, now that I’m no longer needed, I barely get a hello.
You’ll stop in just to make sure I remember.
But I’m fucking over this.

I’m tired of the pain, I’m tired of the shame.
You fucking used me up, trapped me in your game.
Now I’m like a ghost, haunting my own name.

Tired of the Pain (used)

[Intro]
That's right, according to a local source, the backrooms might be real. Tune in this morning at nine where we talk about the solar eclipse and how you can be a part of history.
(I was so close to giving up, but then... you came.)

[Verse 1]
Are you here for the solar eclipse,
the black sun, the urban legend, 
or maybe it's me.
Either way, 
I know you wanna go there,
I know you wanna see,
The backrooms baby, will you go there with me?

[Chorus]
Let's go away, far away.
Rings of flame, guide our way.
Yellow halls, just beyond the breach.
Give me your hand, come on, just reach.
No one can dare to judge our pain.
You always know I'm not exactly sane.
Black shadows and retro static, 
I am a darkness fanatic.

[Verse 2]
You, can feel me.
You, can know me.
But I can't go on this way.
Drowning in my sleep, everyday.
You, can hurt me.
You, can heal me.
I'll never leave you here alone, because it's in you I find my home.

[Bridge]
The shadow morning ignites my heart
The rain of mourning, darkness art.
I'm a good boy who sharpens his knives,
Cutting through the silence, where darkness thrives.
Steel meets steel, in the blackened glow,
In the backrooms, where the shadows flow.

[Chorus]
Let's go away, far away.
Rings of flame, guide our way.
Yellow halls, just beyond the breach.
Give me your hand, come on, just reach.
No one can dare to judge our pain.
You always know I'm not exactly sane.
Black shadows and retro static, 
I am a darkness fanatic.

[Outro]
(I will never give up on you. You hear me? I'll love you forever. Fuck what they think about us! Fuck what their perfect light is! I'll live here in the dark, with you. Only you can stop this bleeding.)

Darkness Fanatic

Winter's Parade

Here

Here I am, (here I am)
Feeling like this, (feeling like this)
And I can’t seem to calm my mind. 
When they take it all away, (when they take it all away)
And they shove me to the side, (and they shove me to the side)
Just know I will forever need you.

Struggle not to feel alone,
Even when the sky is brighter
I never settle to a home,
A bleeding heart never gets any lighter.

Suffering, (suffering)
Yet again, (yet again)
Break me down or break me in ,
Either way I take it, I know I’ll bleed again.
Broken, (broken)
Worthless, (worthless)
You know I’m not alright, will I make it through tonight?

Hey hey listen, listen listen listen
Is it obvious I’m missin’,
All my life it’s been my mission,
Finding you, but I guess you knew 

Struggle not to feel alone,
Even when the sky is brighter
I never settle to a home,
A bleeding heart never gets any lighter.

Whispers in the dark, (in the dark) 
Tell me lies just to survive. 
Every scar’s a work of art, 
But I’m tired of painting pain just to feel alive.
Call my name, (call my name) 
But say it slow, (say it slow) 
Like you mean it, like you’ll never let me go. 
I'm drowning in the silence, 
screaming deep inside— 
Tell me, are you listening, 
or have you said goodbye?

Struggle not to feel alone, 
Even when the sky is brighter 
I never settle to a home, 
A bleeding heart never gets any lighter.

Falling faster, (falling fast) 
Living in the shadow of my past. 
But maybe if I crash and burn, 
I'll rise again—your name’s the lesson I still learn.

Hey hey listen, listen listen listen 
I was never just a victim, 
I was born from all that’s missin’, 
Searching for a light that always led to you.

Struggle not to feel alone,
Even when the sky is brighter
I never settle to a home,
A bleeding heart never gets any lighter.

I never settle to a home

(Verse 1)
I wake up to static in my veins
Another day beneath the weight
Where every breath just sounds the same
And every step resents its fate

The skyline’s made of rust and smoke
I swear this life’s some kind of joke
They build you up to watch you crawl
Then blame you when you lose it all

(Pre-Chorus)
If I vanish in the noise, will they care?
Or just shrug like I was never there?

(Chorus)
I’ll bleed for the last time—loved or dead
A scream carved deep in what’s unsaid
No meaning left, no goals, no thread
Just ticking clocks above my head
I’ll bleed for the last time—loved or dead

(Verse 2)
They sell hope like it’s gasoline
But light the match and you’ll see
The truth is cold, and always burns
And nothing sacred ever returns

I gave my soul to empty hands
Wrote my name in shifting sands
Tried to matter, tried to fight
But even stars give up their light

(Pre-Chorus)
If I fade beneath the flood, who’ll stand?
Or will the silence understand?

(Chorus)
I’ll bleed for the last time—loved or dead
No flags, no flame, no tears to shed
The world won’t stop, it never bled
For dreamers crushed beneath its tread
I’ll bleed for the last time—loved or dead

(Bridge)
And maybe that’s the final truth
That worth was never bulletproof
That even hearts made out of fire
Collapse beneath the weight of wire

(Final Chorus)
I’ll bleed for the last time—loved or dead
No final words, no path ahead
Just ashes where the future fled
And this shell the world once misread
I’ll bleed for the last time… loved or dead.

I’ll bleed for the last time, loved or dead

[Intro]
Yeah…
You don’t know me, but you think you do
You see lace and call it weak
But I’m stronger than the silence that raised me
I’m Twilight Black

[Verse 1]
I was born in a name like fire
But I talk like rain and I dress in wires
They call me sin, they call me shame
They call me him, but I never came

To be your soldier, I ain’t a blade
I’m a poem in the middle of a war parade
Brother’s a legend, I’m just a sigh
He leads the charge, I ask “why?”

He wears steel, I wear scars
He lights suns, I count stars
You think I’m fragile, you think I fall
But I survived when no one called

[Chorus]
I’m Twilight Black
Soft voice, hard past
Lip gloss like warpaint
You laugh—I outlast
I bend, but I never break
Cry slow but don’t fake
I’m not your dream, I’m not your threat
I’m the echo you can’t forget

[Verse 2]
They said I don’t fit in the frame
Tried to crop me out of the family name
Tried to lock me up in roles I hate
But I picked the lock with grace and pain

Paint my nails with blood and gold
Hide my heart in stories untold
You want me to stand like Skies
But I was born to float through lies

Yeah, I’m soft, I’m small, I’m slight
But I fight demons every night
Without a gun, without a scream
Just mascara stains and dying dreams

[Chorus]
I’m Twilight Black
Pastel in pitch black
A whisper in the bomb blast
You blink—I’m still intact
Mock me, block me, test me, bend me
They tried to end me
But I walk this path with my own light
In heels, not spite

[Bridge – Spoken Word over ambient beat]
You see weakness.
I see survival.
You see pretty.
I see power.
You see a joke.
I see every time I didn’t die.

[Final Chorus]
I’m Twilight Black
Don’t need your map
I cry in code
And I love like collapse
I’m the soft that cuts
The ghost that lasts
Not a phase, not a mask
I’m Twilight
Black.

Twilight Black

[Verse 1]
Lace around my wrists, not chains
Soft voice, sharp truths in the rain
I dress in dreams you’d never wear
But I’d kneel if you just stared

You walk like storms that never beg
And I tremble just beneath your legs
Not broken, but I want to be
If it means you’d notice me

[Pre-Chorus]
I wear mascara and silent screams
Painted nails, undone seams
I’m not your knight—I’m your prey
Please don’t look away

[Chorus]
Break me like you mean it
Love me like a weapon drawn
Pull the strings that hold me up
And prove I still belong
I don’t want soft—I want control
Wrap me in your fire whole
Call me pretty, call me weak
But love me fierce and make me bleed

[Verse 2]
You laugh like war, I sigh like silk
You’re lightning—I’m the spill
Every bruise a work of art
If it gets me close to your heart

I don’t want safe, I want the cage
A place to cry, to burn, to rage
I’ll be the doll you bend and dress
If you whisper that I’m best

[Pre-Chorus]
I cross my legs, hold my breath
Praying for your sweet regret
Tell me I’m a lovely mess
Then pin me to confess

[Chorus]
Break me like you mean it
Love me like a battle won
Push me down with all your grace
Then tell me I’m the only one
I don’t want calm—I want the flame
Say you’ll never learn my name
Call me darling, call me toy
But fill this femboy void with joy

[Bridge]
I’m not strong, I’m soft and sore
But I’ll give you all and more
Let me kneel where angels fell
In your heaven, or your hell

[Final Chorus]
Break me like you mean it
Leave your mark across my skin
Kiss me like I’m blasphemy
And drag the worship in
I don’t want sweet—I want divine
Crush my soul and call it mine
Call me yours, just once, aloud
I’ll wear it like a wedding shroud

Call me yours

[Intro – Instrumental: Slow synth arpeggios, pulsing beat, haunting pads]

[Verse 1]
Neon ghosts in midnight chrome
Driving fast, but always alone
Streetlight halos blur and bend
Time loops back—no start, no end

A signal hums through broken dreams
Static whispers, cracked machines
In the sky where hope once spun
Now hangs the cold Black Sun

[Chorus]
Black Sun, burn my shadow
Turn my circuits into soul
I was hollow, I was shallow
Now I ache to lose control
In your glow, I see forever
But it’s twisted, cold, and numb
Hold me close inside the silence
Bathe me in the Black Sun

[Verse 2]
Memories like VHS
Rewinding pain I can’t suppress
Your name’s encoded in my chest
But I can’t find what’s left

Wires tremble with the fear
Of never getting out of here
I chase the dawn, but always run
From the gravity of the Black Sun

[Chorus]
Black Sun, burn my shadow
Paint the world in violet red
I’ve become a digital echo
Of a life I left for dead
You’re the omen in my mirror
You’re the god I can’t outrun
Crash my heart into your orbit
Take me with you, Black Sun

[Bridge – Spoken Word Over Ambient Synth]
I saw the future through tinted glass
Cities falling, love won’t last
But in your darkness, something stays
A beauty hidden in the blaze

[Final Chorus]
Black Sun, bless my ending
Make my final moment pure
Through your void, I find beginning
Of something broken but sure
You’re the silence after thunder
You’re the code that can’t be spun
So let me fade into your splendor
Let me die beneath the Black Sun

[Outro – Instrumental: Melancholic synth fading into a soft, droning hum]

Black Sun

[Verse 1]
nails chipped black, mascara bleeds
called me cute just to laugh at me
said “you’re brave,” then blocked my page
guess it’s fine, i’m used to shame

fishnets tight like my chest gets
every breath feel like a death threat
i dress like this to feel like me
but they just see what they wanna see

can’t go home, can’t go out
can’t cry loud, so i shut my mouth
silence feels like second skin
so i stay inside and wear my sin

[Hook]
i don’t wanna die, but i don’t wanna be
they only love me in fantasy
flesh too soft, voice too light
i get erased when they turn on the lights
if i disappear, would they notice?
or just say “damn, he was so focused”
i’m not okay, but it’s aesthetic
pretty pain wrapped up poetic

[Verse 2]
starved for touch but scared to ask
they hold me tight with a broken mask
“you’re hot, but not in public though”
yeah, i know. yeah, i know.

every day’s just glitch and error
every mirror holds a terror
closet full of skirts i wear like armor
but even lace don’t make it softer

don’t want pity, don’t want fame
just want someone to know my name
not the one they make up for me
but the one i whisper in therapy

[Hook]
i don’t wanna die, but i don’t wanna be
every hug feels like make-believe
i’m the dream they scroll right past
softboy.exe, loading too fast
if i vanish, would they care at all?
or just miss the way i stalled
i’m not okay, but it’s poetic
just another femboy glitch aesthetic

[Outro – Whispered & Fading]
paint my grave with pastel blue
don’t lie, just say you never knew
that i was real beneath the lace
just tryna find a safer place

Don’t lie, just say you never knew

[Intro]
Fuck…
I don’t feel much anymore
Just static
But when she pulls me in…
I breathe again

[Verse 1]
I fake my smile like I fake my sleep
Nobody knows that I barely eat
They say “cheer up,” but I’m too far gone
Numb by day, dead by dawn
My voice don’t rise, my hands just shake
Every laugh I give feels fake
But when she calls me her “pretty thing”
I forget I ever felt a goddamn sting

[Pre-Hook]
Velvet ropes, my wrists go numb
And for a second, I’m someone
She rides me like a war she’ll win
And I swear, that’s when I feel again

[Hook]
Only when she breaks me, I feel alive
When she says “be still,” I survive
Her grip on my throat is sweeter than air
Her nails in my back mean someone cares
No joy in the light, no hope in the day
But she takes me apart in the softest way
And I smile…
Only when she breaks me

[Verse 2]
They ask what’s wrong, I don’t reply
Just bite my tongue and wait to die
The world’s too loud, my mind’s too thin
So I let her carve her name into my skin
She says “you’re mine,” and I believe
Like pain’s the only way I breathe
I’m not a lover, I’m a thing she owns
But at least I’m not alone

[Bridge]
She calls me “darling,” I lose control
Takes me apart, then makes me whole
Her pleasure’s sharp, her mercy’s cold
But when I serve, I feel bold
I wear a smile she sewed in red
A boy gone soft who wished for death

[Hook]
Only when she breaks me, I feel alive
When she says “be still,” I survive
Her grip on my throat is sweeter than air
Her nails in my back mean someone cares
No joy in the light, no hope in the day
But she takes me apart in the softest way
And I smile…
Only when she breaks me

[Outro]
So if I’m quiet, don’t ask why
I’m waiting to be seen through her eyes
Twilight Black, a ghost, a toy—
But when she breaks me… I feel joy..

A boy gone soft who wished for death

[Intro]
Yeah…
Just ash and silence now
No one’s comin’ back for me

[Hook]
I’m livin’ in the wastes, I’ve been left to waste
Brother doesn’t know, I’m dying in this place
Sky’s turned red, and my hope went gray
Ain’t no sun where I lay, just decay

Tried to call for help, but my signal’s dead
Got ghosts in my heart and blood I bled
You said we’d fight till the end, now you walk away
I’m livin’ in the wastes, I’ve been left to waste

[Verse 1]
My boots sink deep in the cracked old stone
No one left, just me and bone
You wear power armor, I wear regret
You made command—I made my bed

Tattooed the pain on my arms in code
Every scar a secret I never showed
Wasn’t your shadow, wasn’t your shame
But I still got burned in your name

You shine in steel, I drown in dusk
You fight for glory—I rot in rust
Forgotten like a flare that never lit
I’m the brother you don’t admit

[Hook]
I’m livin’ in the wastes, I’ve been left to waste
Brother doesn’t know, I’m dying in this place
Sky’s turned red, and my hope went gray
Ain’t no sun where I lay, just decay

Tried to call for help, but my signal’s dead
Got ghosts in my heart and blood I bled
You said we’d fight till the end, now you walk away
I’m livin’ in the wastes, I’ve been left to waste

[Verse 2]
Rad meter’s screamin’, lungs full of dust
Drinkin’ from bottles with caps and rust
Sleepin’ in ruins with a pipe gun close
Ain’t no home, just ghosts and posts

Power cores dead, and the sky don’t blink
I write in blood when I run outta ink
You got a vault, I got a hole in the ground
And a holotape loop that just replays sound

Brother, you shine in your Brotherhood chrome
While I eat cram cold and die alone
You left with pride, I stayed with pain
A femboy wastelander, lost in the rain

[Bridge – Spoken/Whispered]
I just wanted to be seen
Not saved
Not saluted
Just seen

[Final Hook]
I’m livin’ in the wastes, I’ve been left to waste
Brother doesn’t know, I’m dying in this place
Sky’s turned red, and my hope went gray
Ain’t no sun where I lay, just decay

Tried to call for help, but my signal’s dead
Got ghosts in my heart and blood I bled
You said we’d fight till the end, now you walk away
I’m livin’ in the wastes… I’ve been left to waste

Left to waste

I torched It

[produced by yago beats]
[mixed and mastered by convolk]

lyrics: 

If i died tomorrow
Would you cry for me 
would you hide the sorrow
Dont you lie to me

Trapped inside the car
Watch me idly
As the world lives
But it died for me

If i died tomorrow
Would you cry for me 
would you lay your head down
Dont you lie to me

Never been the man
That i strive to be
As the world lives
But it died for me

you cure me when
im near the end
my medicine x2

When i was a kid i was broke
Never had hope
Thinking of sink, never float

Thinking how thick of a rope i would need to keep my feet from touching the floor 

Bitch now i know
River card made me a boat
Done without selling a soul
you love me more than I know
And i love you more than i show 
Heart made of gold

Wait 

nanana x2
ooh

If i died tomorrow
Would you cry for me 
would you hide the sorrow
Dont you lie to me

Trapped inside the car
Watch me idly
As the world lives
But it died for me

If i died tomorrow
Would you cry for me 
would you lay your head down
Dont you lie to me

Never been the man
That i strive to be
As the world lives
But it died for me

everything hurts when she love me its the worst
when she love me its the worst 
x2

you cure me when
im near the end
my medicine x2

medicine

Higher pitched vocalist: Skies Black
Lower Pitched: Twilight Black

All lyrics are handwritten, all songs are made mostly through AI.

Tired of the Pain (used)

Femboy Asthetic

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