The date is October 6, 2025.
I’m still trapped inside my mind-
I say that same thing everytime.
I say THAT same thing everytime.
I say these same things, every song.
Every rhyme, Every line.
I wish that I was lying, but-

Last night, I couldn’t sleep.
I could only lay and think.
About the future I have slight control of-
…Among other things.
I’m lonely but I’m not.
At once; I hate it, but it’s comforting.
I’m only 19, I have no use for someone’s daughter haunting me. 
I made her cum for me-
Exactly when I told her to.
When I say “her”-
…Just know I mean a multitude.
My death to them will be the apology long overdue.
Some of them didn’t ask for one.
Some of them did and didn’t get it.
I hate myself so much.
I swear to God, I wish I never did it.
I swear, I wish they would’ve listened.
Enamored by my chain glisten. 
Never victim, always villain.
Catharsis; now my main mission.
My God wrote my life in blood-
I just illustrate the image.
I just make the soundtrack to my death-
You niggas bear witness.
Last time someone went to check on me-
Ain’t thank the visit.
And it’s not cuz I hate them-
I hate myself and think I don’t deserve it. 
To some I’m just a nerd.
And that’s the truth-
But on the block, I served it.
I only gave you part of me-
Let me show the whole version.
See my life behind the curtains.
Still here?
Then yes, you’ve earned it. 
Let me kill myself in front of you to make a better person.
Not yet worthy, know that’s certain.
I fight my shame, I think I’m learning.

When will this girl understand?
I can’t be saved by her.
I can only be saved by Jesus.
And well…
He’s not coming back.
…Not for me, at least. 
I walk along my own path.
I still love him, truth be told-
I want my soul back.
…I want my sister back.
The times I miss, we never had.
I want it so bad.
I’m never first, I’m always last.
At school they tell me it’s the other way around-
And I’m glad.
But they don’t know that’s not the truth yet-
They’ll find it out fast.

I know the devil’s real, I put my trust inside the slut.
I know the devil’s real, I bust a nut on top the slut.
And I hate the way she loves me-
I’ll still miss it when she’s gone.
I’ll still cry myself to sleep-
Wake up and make another song.
I’ll still write these lyrics down knowing that few can sing along.
Over a beat that I just made and they’ll still say I “did it wrong”.
Oh really?
Guess I never knew.
My BB Belt will be my noose.
And to this world; I flip the bird-
I give no duck, I’m born a goose.
I do this for myself and Jesus-
This song is sonic proof.
I know Hell is real, I just remembered Heaven is too.
But I’m lost.
Yet, I’m found.
So’s my hope.
I sit inside Room 220 and try to cope-
With a lump inside my throat.
These days go by the opposite of slow.
I have nowhere else to go-
Except forward.
I got clothes on my back, roof over my head-
Need nothing more.
I print my life through a board, then send a prayer to my lord.

Young Hopeless Bastard. | (Days Gone By.) [PROD. MEEJ.]

MEEJ.