reasons - i promised i'd be okay, but when october comes i won't know what to do

Uh huh

bedroom

Fml honestly :/

💽

Well I don’t want to but still restrained to the past
Trying to live without it always, tried to live off you
Hold me tightly or let me suffer 
Would you know I’d be despair? Would you know I’d kill you?
I hid it but knew someone would find it
Is it that hard to say sorry?
People I should love Is callin me a devil
If you tried to look back to notice the sign I’ve sent 
I wouldn’t dare to do that 
And the time keep passing slowly, later you can find me somewhere
You made me to do that 
Would you know I’d be despair? Would you know I’d kill you?
Is it that hard to say sorry? Is it that hard to say sorry?

Cull Ficle

5:21:2000

full set from Mechafest's stage 4, hosted by Punk Revolution Now on 3/27/21

LIVE! @ [MECHAFEST]

nice nice - dazey and the scouts

KITG Theme

wrote this the other day, idk if i'll ever use it for anything

quiet life demo

instagram

back2u

ANEW - Fake Deep

урок [Lola's Pocket PC demo, no vox, WIP]

FREIGHT TRAIN DEMO

watching for your car
waiting in the rain
has never been the same
since i went insane

i've written more suicide notes than i'd care to share
but i never followed through, i never followed through

if i jumped every time that i saw the edge
i would've never met you and fuck that scares me

'cause i'm rather familiar with hospital beds
but i'm much less familiar with words that i said
yet don't regret

screaming out fuck this abyss in the cracks of my psyche
they ask if you like me then answer a stern no in your place

watching for your car
waiting in the rain
has never been the same
since i went insane

tell me how you feel watch me fall apart
every single time no reason or rhyme

caught inside your pull and sinking at the hull
but drowning in your love has given me enough to breathe

i'll never let you slip away from my heart
i'll never fall apart i knew it from the start
i knew it from the start

cars litter the roads your hand fits in mine
happiness resides every single time

//in loving memory of what i once thought you were.

watching

The Obsessives - What Makes a Friend

You Will Never Know Why

Milk

my blood on the basement steps and this is the last time cuz i wont forget (a somethin im workin on: hopefully a like ep or tape or somthing)

and youll forget im dead with time

seasonal depression is kicking my ass, so here's some music
cover photo taken by corey "deko" gilbert

lyrics:
the fan beside me's humming at a steady a# 
i can just make out the note on my phone screen 

it's 6 am again and i'm still crying over things 
that i've been crying 'bout as long as you've known me 

eternally unhappy 
i'm alone 

severing the cartiledge 
and bone 

i want to be rid of every 
piece of me that's left 

until i float 
i am a ghost 

the world around us spins as we wait for it to end 
hey, guys, do you think that we could do that sooner? 

waking up's a chore, i walk the labrynth on my floor 
and realize that i'm a fucking loser 

eternally unhappy 
i'm alone 

severing the cartiledge 
and bone 

i want to be rid of every 
piece of me that's left 

until i float 
i am a ghost

winter

download <3

fan (ghost)

seasonal depression is kicking my ass, so here's some music
cover photo taken by corey "deko" gilbert

lyrics:
this anxiety inside of me is tiring my mind 
i can't cry or sleep or smile or eat or even try to find 
something physical or tangible to lay alone beside 
i am singing to the void again, i hum into the night 

everyday, everyday (x4) 

the way that i cope with things is unethical 
and all my clever words have been said before 
i'm just putting off the inevitable 
i am feeling more like a vegetable 

everyday, everyday (x4)

everyday

seasonal depression is kicking my ass, so here's some music
cover photo taken by corey "deko" gilbert

lyrics:
just know i'm sorry for it all 
i know it must be hard to hear 
i'm glad you left before the fall 
'cause i won't make it past this year 

just know i love you like a rose 
would love the thorns upon its stem 
no matter how they might have dug into my skin 
no matter how things might have ended 
i will wish for you each night, i'll wish your touch was mine again

just know i love you like a rose

600 Billion Double Dollar Bounty on Your Fucking Head (I have feelings too)

Panucci's Pizza - L

when it all falls apart like a house made of cards
i will shuffle this deck 'til i fall asleep
gentle touch, brittle bones, when we talk on the phone
i exist for you, you have all of me

i'm a small speck of dust, an inanimite husk
of my former self, they are vanishing
there's a ghost in my room and it wears the perfume
that you used to wear; it's like you're next to me

but nothing's ever real enough (x2)

you're a voice in my head, at the foot of my bed
like a poltergeist, drifting hauntingly
and my mind is a void, for the broken, destroyed
little parts of me, an infinity

this ache in my head makes me quake in my bed
i fixate on it, i can't fall asleep
with this whine in my ears when the silence appears
it is deafining, it is everything

but nothing's ever real enough (x2)

real enough

I Love My Fucking Pets

Two Days of Thunder

Plastic tree - Tefutefu

Awake Mankind - Nothing Left

i promised i'd be okay, but when october comes i won't know what to do.

reasons - tierra del feugo

reasons - i waited for you

reasons - if i call will you answer

reasons - post-life

reasons - nothing more (acoustic)

Mourning Effort

Morning Effort - One sided friendships

An early assignment for music production at uni last year. We were supposed to make a quick song using only sounds made entirely from scratch by ourselves.

Syntes assignment

06 Snowy!

03 In October Of 2019 I Called A Suicide Hotline For The First Time In My Life

reasons - if i call will you answer

finn