BPD·Help Me

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Another night grows heavy
Eyes are barely open
In the quietness I'm chocking
Pain is left unspoken

You don't see, you can't see, what you think isn't me
In my head, in my mind, there's a raging
Like a weight, in my chest, crushing down like a test
And I'm falling inside, I am failing

Please forgive me, please don't leave me
Help me, help me, help me
Please just hold me, stop me falling
Help me, help me, help me oh

I know that trust is breakin'
I can't pull you closer
When the shadows start to clear
Will we both be over?

It's the same, worn old song, and I'm screaming along
In my head, in my mind, like I'm dying
All the doubt, and the blame, and my love and my shame
It's not you, this is me, and I'm trying

Please forgive me, please don't leave me
Help me, help me, help me
Please just hold me, stop me falling
Help me, help me, help me oh

Help Me

A chilling slow-burn folk tale that centers on a woodcutter, a jar, and nature’s terrible patience.

The Jar

When We Fade

[Verse 1]
The night is soft the rain still falls
shadows tracing where we used to run
Your voice drifts in like a hard remembered dream
I reach but you’re gone—just echoes in between

[Pre-Chorus]
All the promises we thought we’d keep
turned fragile as the way we sleep
You said forever but forever is late
and I’m left learning how to wait

[Chorus]
When we fade we fade like oceans—
pulling back but never gone
Love was fire love was motion
now just dust where we belong
And if I close my eyes tonight
your touch is still the same—
when we fade we fade
but we whisper all the same

[Verse 2]
I watch the sky it’s torn in two
a fleeting storm that reminds of me and you
Your lips a ghost they haunt like rain
a tender ache I can’t explain

[Pre-Chorus]
It’s only me and the dark I swear
holding your memory like dust in the air
The song you left still pulls me near
a lullaby I'll always hear

[Chorus]
When we fade we fade like oceans—
pulling back but never gone
Love was fire love was motion
now just dust where we belong
And if I close my eyes tonight
your touch is still the same—
when we fade we fade
but we whisper all the same

[Bridge]
Every dream feels like you're near
every silence wants you here
I would keep you if I could
but even love can’t stop what should

[Final Chorus]
When we fade we fade like oceans
pulling back but never gone—
your ghost is all devotion
your shadow lingers on

[Outro]
And if I wake alone tomorrow
your perfume's still in the rain
When we fade we fade—
but we whisper all the same

When We Fade

"The Treasure Tower" is a cinematic folk-rock journey that builds from a single acoustic guitar and vocal into a soaring, full-band spiritual experience.

Drawing inspiration from the epic imagery of the Lotus Sutra, the song tells the story of a profound revelation. It charts the journey from sitting on the "hard earth" as a humble seeker to witnessing the miraculous appearance of the great Stūpa—a tower of gold and lapis lazuli that shakes the ground and fills the air with celestial music.

But the true miracle isn't just the tower in the sky; it's the discovery of the "priceless gem" within.

Featuring a dynamic arrangement that moves from sparse folk to electric gospel-blues, the song's soaring slide guitar, rich Hammond organ, and thunderous percussion capture the awe of the moment. "The Treasure Tower" is a song about awakening—about realizing that the divine truth we seek outside is the same truth we've carried inside us all along.

Lyrics: 
[Verse 1: The Heavy Ground and the Precursor]

I was sitting on the hard earth, every joint began to ache
I was seeking simple peace, for the old law’s sake

The Lord went into stillness, meditation deep and vast
And then the whole wide Buddha-land, it woke up at last

It didn't groan, it humm'd, six ways it shook the ground
It trembled in its reverence, then it danced and tossed around

Felt that divine energy, so awesome and so real
I knew a mighty secret was about to be revealed.

[Chorus: The Immediate Sensory Revelation]

Oh, the Stūpa arose, five hundred yojanas high!
Gold and lapis lazuli piercin' up the sky 

That scent of holy incense... filled my lungs 
Then the great, deep voice inside, that celestial tongue

It cried: "Excellent, excellent, Lord Sākyamuni!" 
Now I know the truth is coming for me.

[Verse 2: Sight and Adornment]

I looked upon that Tower, so beautiful and vast
Made of seven precious substances, built forever-more to last 

That silver, pearl, and carnelian, burnin' in the light 
With lapis, gold, and agate, what a heavenly sight 

The gods from up in paradise strewed down their floral rain
White cloth whirled down in thousands, washing away the pain

The banners and the triumphal streamers caught the wind
Told me this ain't no extinction, this is where the truth begins.

[Chorus: The Immediate Sensory Revelation]

Oh, the Stūpa arose, five hundred yojanas high!
Gold and lapis lazuli piercin' up the sky 

That scent of holy incense... filled my lungs 
Then the great, deep voice inside, that celestial tongue

It cried: "Excellent, excellent, Lord Sākyamuni!" 
Now I know the truth is coming for me.

[Verse 3: Auditory Wonders]

The jeweled chimes and bells were ringing, sweet, tender, and clear 
The melody flowed through the world, takin' all my fear 
I heard celestial music, it pulled me right up near

Then I heard the Buddhas answer, like thunder breakin' truth 
The Master called his other forms to give the final proof 
I heard ten-thousand finger-snaps, echoin' off the roof

A mighty, joyful thunder, through all of time and space 
Affirming one Great Vehicle... for all the human race .

[Bridge: The Hidden Gem and the New Path]

I thought I was satisfied, just beggin' for my bread
A pauper on the low road, full of ancient dread

But the Master, knowin' secrets I could never see
Had tied a priceless jewel right inside of me

That gem of all-knowin' wisdom, I had... but I couldn't see
I was blind until this Tower... it set me free

Now I wear the robe of patience, and I stand up in the light
I'm no low-road disciple... I'm a Buddha in my own right.

[Chorus: The Immediate Sensory Revelation]

Oh, the Stūpa arose, five hundred yojanas high!
Gold and lapis lazuli piercin' up the sky 

That scent of holy incense... filled my lungs
Then the great, deep voice inside, that celestial tongue

It cried: "Excellent, excellent, Lord Sākyamuni!" 
Now I know the truth is coming for me.

[Outro]


The Treasure Tower

A heartfelt folk ballad carried by harmonica and whispered voices.
Between silence and sky, two souls meet where words can no longer reach.
“Hold me close, don’t ask why” drifts like a memory through acoustic warmth, soft strings, and quiet emotion.
Nostalgic, cinematic, and deeply human — a song of love, loss, and light. 🌙🕊️

Hold me close, don’t ask why

Comfort Ain't The Cure

BLUES ON THE RAILS

if you are interested, please read the background story under the first version.

©music and lyrics by Hans-Michael Albers, instrumental cover & vocal performance by suno 5

for reasons of space, the original french text can be found under the 1st version.

In an inn for those who laugh, I wonder,
If mirrors lie or dream of their reflections,
If God still writes when his pen trembles,
Or if time falls asleep in a glass of milk.

Why do chairs think of lost legs,
And windows pray to stay awake?
The passing wind writes unknown words
On the crumpled curtains of truth.

In an inn for those who laugh, I wonder,
In an inn for those who laugh, I explain the world.

A cat falls asleep standing up, prophet of the absurd,
Its eye understands what my head refuses,
It says: “To think is to dig a hole without walls,”
Then laughs at having understood that he enjoys himself there.

The watches slowly bleed their hollow hour,
An iron rooster announces a useless morning,
I search for meaning, it flees, laughing, under the lawn,
And beckons me with a motionless gesture.

In an inn for those who laugh, I wonder,
In an inn for those who laugh, I explain the world.

If silence fears singing clocks,
Then the cry of flowers becomes a prayer,
And nothingness, crowned with an elegant shadow,
Learns to dance in the clear dust.

I saw the sky write its weariness in blue,
The angels, weary, drank tea without eternity,
And each drop tasted of habits
That are hard to forget, even at the bottom of reality.

In an inn for those who laugh, I remain,
Between the cup and doubt, leaning slightly,
The world spins, drunk, searching for its rumour,
And I drink so as not to think about it.

L'Auberge Absurde 2

You're doing ninety in a forty-five
I'm gripping handles, staying quiet
White knuckles, closed eyes
But I'm still here
Yeah, I'm still here
And you're slowly losing control

And I don't know when to jump
I don't know when to stay
Just watching you self-destruct
Ain't getting in your way

I can't save you from this wreckage
But I can't look away
I'm just a passenger, baby
Riding shotgun to your pain
Hands tied, no brakes
High love, high stakes
Going down, going down
I'm just a passenger

You chase the high!
I chase you chasing
Round and round we go
I'm losing me
While you're losing you

And I don't know when to jump
I don't know when to stay
Just watching you self-destruct
Ain't getting in your way

I can't save you from this wreckage
But I can't look away
I'm just a passenger, baby
Riding shotgun to your pain
Hands tied, no brakes
High love, high stakes
Going down, going down

Oh, going down 
Going down
I can't save you from this wreckage
Can't save you from today
I'm just a passenger, baby
Ain't nothing more to say

And I'm
Going down with you
Going down, going down
Going down

I see the signs
You don't
I see the signs

Passenger

[Verse 1]
The shimmer, the shadow, so familiar in the glass,
Though I know it is near me, there’s a wall I can't surpass.
And so I stand with nothing left, no place for me to go,
Unless this wall gives way, and changes how I go.

[Chorus 1]
There is another, waiting unseen,
Closer than silence, alive in the dream.
Beyond every question, whose answers are dim,
A Presence is waiting — inviting me to Him.

[Verse 2]
The Shimmer in the mirror, lingers, drawing near.
He whispers in the silence, but nothing I can hear.
He stops me at the edge, I look but cannot see,
He leads me to the pathway — He wants to set me free.

[Chorus 2]
There is another, waiting unseen,
Closer than silence, alive in the dream.
Beyond every question, whose answers are dim,
A Presence is waiting — inviting me to Him.


[Bridge]
I pray to Him in silence, and something starts to break,
The wall that held me back now trembles in its wake.
His Word becomes thunder — and cracks the sky in two,
The veil that hid His mercy now lets His Light shine through —

I fall to my knees unworthy, and still He draws me near,
The light reveals my failures, but it burns away my fear.
His Spirit starts the rumble, the clouds release their rain,
I am washed in holy waters, He calls me now by name —


[Chorus 3]
There is another, waiting unseen,
Closer than silence, alive in the dream.
Beyond every question, whose answers are dim,
A Presence is waiting — inviting me to Him.

[Final Bridge]
This thought keeps repeating — deep, deep in my soul.
I know I’m not the only one — I know I’m not alone.
The Spirit has been calling — to the many, and unknown,
Past, present, and future — waiting for all to come —

— — — — —

[Outro]
He speaks in a still, small voice, deep within your soul
The One who waits for ev'ryone — is waiting for you alone.

Shimmer Shine

indie pop synthpop electronic 
Deep Enjoy what I believe you'll be able to relate 😌 
#newmusic #newartist #crystalblueaura #deep #relatable #enjoy

If Trees Could whisper on the breeze #1of2

Email: enquiries@asinine.co.uk
Asinine is the independent label representing our current projects:  BPD and Gepetto Trio.
↓↓↓↓↓↓

Please contact us if you're interested in publishing this music. If you're an aspiring artist requiring help with distribution or marketing, let's talk.

One hot summer’s day in the early 1980s, a troubled young schoolkid was being supervised alone in the music room for some forgotten misdemeanor. He spent the period playing a drum kit for the first time in his life, and when he was ready to go, the student teacher who had been supervising signed off his report card with the fateful words: “excellent drummer!”

Throughout the ’90s and ’00s, I played drums in “happy-clappy” churches up and down the country, as well as in college, where I toured with a band named Kurios. I’ve always had music in me. I never properly learned to play a “real” instrument — but why would an undiagnosed autistic kid with ADD want to pluck strings or blow through reeds when he can just hit things?!

These days, as I’m getting older (55) and increasingly disabled (I can no longer manage a full drum kit), I’ve finally found ways to get the music out of my head and into yours through the wonders of technology. I record everything in my home studio using a humble Arturia Minilab 3, a PC running Reaper, and a whole range of tools and plugins.

Now, on the use of AI, let me be absolutely clear:

I do not support the swamping of streaming platforms with “AI slop.” However, as an IT professional with fairly extensive knowledge and experience of AI, I also do not support the indiscriminate dismissal and castigation of any and all use of AI in music production — or any of the arts, for that matter. And as a drummer, I suppose I got over it years ago, back when we were being replaced in studios by computers from the late ’80s onward..!

For me, AI is just another tool in the artist’s toolbox — one that helps me massively shorten and simplify my workflows, and one that’s helped to elevate my craft to something much closer to professionally produced work. I don’t sing (very well), but with AI tools such as Ace Studio, Audime, or Suno Studio, I can turn my own voice — or even simple musical notation — into just about any vocal I can imagine.

I don’t play guitar (at all — I’ve got tiny sausage fingers), but with AI I can turn any melody hammered out on my MIDI controller into a lead guitar, bass riff, or just about any other instrument. I’m a musician, but I’m also an engineer, and I hope those skills — along with my hard work and passion — come through in my music and set it apart from the AI slop which is becoming so prevalent . 🙏🙏🙏 (And yes, I did have ChatGPT proof read this Bio, which is why it's full of em-dash symbols 😅)

As for the lyrics in my songs — the stories they tell — those are all me. They come from my life experiences, and from the obsessive scribbling of the angsty autistic teenager who still lives in my head and believes his poetry is so deeply profound. 😅

Help Me

Asinine

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