BPD·Help Me

If you need to talk to someone, or you're worried about a friend call 116 123 or visit: www.samaritans.org

Another night grows heavy
Eyes are barely open
In the quietness I'm chocking
Pain is left unspoken

You don't see, you can't see, what you think isn't me
In my head, in my mind, there's a raging
Like a weight, in my chest, crushing down like a test
And I'm falling inside, I am failing

Please forgive me, please don't leave me
Help me, help me, help me
Please just hold me, stop me falling
Help me, help me, help me oh

I know that trust is breakin'
I can't pull you closer
When the shadows start to clear
Will we both be over?

It's the same, worn old song, and I'm screaming along
In my head, in my mind, like I'm dying
All the doubt, and the blame, and my love and my shame
It's not you, this is me, and I'm trying

Please forgive me, please don't leave me
Help me, help me, help me
Please just hold me, stop me falling
Help me, help me, help me oh

Help Me

Santa, Bring Me a Vice

Verse 1

I hung my stockings on the jukebox, not the tree,
Wrote you a list, but I lost it after drink number three.
I've been good at bein’ reckless, dear,
So slide down my chimney and bring me some cheer.

Pre-Chorus 1

No silver bells, no silent nights,
Just pour me something strong and light.

Chorus 1

Santa, bring me a vice,
Make it dirty, make it nice.
Skip the halo, skip the snow —
Give me something warm to melt my cold.
Yeah, Santa, bring me a vice,
‘Cause bein’ good don’t pay the price.
If redemption’s outta stock tonight,
A little sin will do me right.


Verse 2

My friends all went home to somebody’s arms,
Me, I’m slow dancin’ with my scars.
I said I’m fine, but the mirror lied,
There’s lipstick on the rim and tears I never dried.

Pre-Chorus 2

So if you see my chimney smoke,
That’s just my heart that finally broke.

Chorus 2

Santa, bring me a vice,
Make it dirty, make it nice.
Skip the halo, skip the snow —
Give me something warm to melt my cold.
Yeah, Santa, bring me a vice,
‘Cause bein’ good don’t pay the price.
If redemption’s outta stock tonight,
A little sin will do me right.

Bridge (Emotional Core)

Don’t wrap it up in silver bows,
Don’t send no angels — they never show.
Just pour me a dream in a cut-glass cup,
‘Cause hope don’t hit like whiskey does.
And Santa, if you’re listenin’ still,
Bring me peace, or just the thrill.


Final Chorus 

Santa, bring me a vice,
Make it dirty, make it nice.
Skip the halo, skip the snow —
Give me something warm before I go.
Yeah, Santa, bring me a vice,
I’ve been naughty once or twice.
If you can’t find love tonight,
Then pour me one more wrong that feels just right.

Outro 
So here’s to the hearts we couldn’t save,
To the nights we misbehaved.
I’ll leave a kiss by the fireplace —
You can keep the coal, I like it that way.

“Merry Christmas, Santa…
and cheers to all the sinners stayin’ warm tonight.”

Santa, Bring Me a Vice

Faces In The Night

Lyrics:
L’aube aux cheveux fous est lointaine encore.
Le plaisir est une île perdue sous les étoiles.
Allez, viens le vent est bon, mettons les voiles
Vers la douce volupté qui appelle nos corps

Ma crinière  danse sous le vent chaud et salé.
Mes yeux de louve brillent comme de l’ambre, 
Dans ce désir brulant où tes mains me cambrent.
Reine des flots, te laisserais-je me dompter ?

Attirée par ta lumière dorée comme la phalène.
Dans la soie légère et tendre de tes caresses,
Tu me guides avec une infinie tendresse.
Mais bientôt, tu m’attaches à ton mât de misaine.

Chorus :
Sois ma corsaire, je serai ta pirate
Drapeau noir, voiles écarlates
Aimons-nous sur les flots songeurs,
Dans la nuit tiède et ses douces langueurs.

Mon univers se résout à l’arc de tes cuisses
Souples et douces, qui ondulent lentement.
Et nos corps fluides et nus  abolissent le temps
Dans un mélange de feu, de sueur et d’épices.

L’océan chuchote contre la coque du voilier
Je bois ton souffle court au parfum de réglisse.
Tes doigts me dessine, tes lèvres m’engloutissent.
Je suis ta prisonnière, rebelle et émerveillée. 

Allongées nues sous la nuit et l’œil de la lune
Nous regardons planer les vampires et les fées
Dans la musique soyeuse de nos cris étouffés
Nous voguons paresseusement sur la lagune.

Chorus :
Sois ma corsaire, je serai ta pirate
Drapeau noir, voiles écarlates
Aimons-nous sur les flots songeurs,
Dans la nuit tiède et ses douces langueurs.

La Lagune

memories can bring tears and laughter. but they are both good for the spirit.
it's good to be here.
be here now.

remember that time in the stream

down to ground/Nova J

[Verse 1]
You said love would lift us high
But the air got thin up in the sky
Now I’m standin’ here, both feet down
Tryin’ to breathe on solid ground
Guess I thought I had it all figured out
Now I’m older, just full of doubt

[Chorus]
So I come back down to ground
Where the noise don’t drown me out
All the dreams I built came crashin’ down
So I’m learnin’ to live without
Every time I start to climb
Something pulls me back around
Yeah, I come back down to ground

[Verse 2]
I’ve been bettin’ on a bad hand
Thinkin’ love’s what makes a man
Now I’m countin’ what I’ve lost
And I can’t pay off the cost
Never thought I’d break again
But the house don’t let you win

[Chorus]
So I come back down to ground
Where the quiet feels like truth.
Guess I flew too far too soon
Now I’m hummin’ the crash-land blues
Every time I think I’ve found
Heaven hangin’ in the clouds
I come back down to ground

[Bridge]
How do you choose who to love
When every time it ends in flames
And why’s my heart so stubborn 
I keep losing at the game

[Final Chorus]
So I come back down to ground
With my ego banged around
Maybe fallin’s just a way
To see things here and now
I was racin’ for the sky
But it’s time to slow things down
Yeah, I come back down to ground

down to ground

A moody pop song exploring feelings of isolation and searching for connection in an overwhelming world. "Who's Gonna Hear Me" delivers emotional vocals against a backdrop of dramatic city shadows, capturing the raw honesty and longing for someone to truly listen. Perfect for listeners who crave introspective, heartfelt melodies and late-night city vibes.

Who's Gonna Hear Me

Once again, I've used Emily's amazing vocals in a way she definitely never intended. I am sure she didn't expect it to be in a rockin' track like this. I'm playing all of the guitars, bass and keys, and I created the drums out of midi loops. (Yes, I played 2 all-time classic rock  riffs in the center section) BTW, if you haven't checked out Emily's page with all of her awesome open collab vocals, go here right now... https://soundcloud.com/freevocals. Great stuff. 

Boom (Ft. Emily Coy Vocals)

A fog has settled in
Over one of my senses
Never burns off, doesn’t roll away
So hard to see what you’re saying 

Words are blurred into a murky haze
Close my eyes, take a long breath in

Comically misinterpreted words
Just my best guess
Lots of times I smile and nod

I try a prosthesis, it’s not the same
Man made fixes fall short
Compared to where I started from

Play off of facial cues
But I’m off in left field 
And the game has long been through 

Appeal to my sense of obligation 
Ain’t fair to say who suffers 
Or who is bathed in riches 


Fog Settled In

Sainsonic feat. Synthesizer V Eri - Angel Love

A worship anthem declaring that even when we can’t see the road ahead, He is still making a way. Rooted in Psalm 37:7–9, this powerful and uplifting praise song reminds us to trust, pray, and move when God says go.

The Way

Email: enquiries@asinine.co.uk
Asinine is the independent label representing our current projects:  BPD and Gepetto Trio.
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Please contact us if you're interested in publishing this music. If you're an aspiring artist requiring help with distribution or marketing, let's talk.

One hot summer’s day in the early 1980s, a troubled young schoolkid was being supervised alone in the music room for some forgotten misdemeanor. He spent the period playing a drum kit for the first time in his life, and when he was ready to go, the student teacher who had been supervising signed off his report card with the fateful words: “excellent drummer!”

Throughout the ’90s and ’00s, I played drums in “happy-clappy” churches up and down the country, as well as in college, where I toured with a band named Kurios. I’ve always had music in me. I never properly learned to play a “real” instrument — but why would an undiagnosed autistic kid with ADD want to pluck strings or blow through reeds when he can just hit things?!

These days, as I’m getting older (55) and increasingly disabled (I can no longer manage a full drum kit), I’ve finally found ways to get the music out of my head and into yours through the wonders of technology. I record everything in my home studio using a humble Arturia Minilab 3, a PC running Reaper, and a whole range of tools and plugins.

Now, on the use of AI, let me be absolutely clear:

I do not support the swamping of streaming platforms with “AI slop.” However, as an IT professional with fairly extensive knowledge and experience of AI, I also do not support the indiscriminate dismissal and castigation of any and all use of AI in music production — or any of the arts, for that matter. And as a drummer, I suppose I got over it years ago, back when we were being replaced in studios by computers from the late ’80s onward..!

For me, AI is just another tool in the artist’s toolbox — one that helps me massively shorten and simplify my workflows, and one that’s helped to elevate my craft to something much closer to professionally produced work. I don’t sing (very well), but with AI tools such as Ace Studio, Audime, or Suno Studio, I can turn my own voice — or even simple musical notation — into just about any vocal I can imagine.

I don’t play guitar (at all — I’ve got tiny sausage fingers), but with AI I can turn any melody hammered out on my MIDI controller into a lead guitar, bass riff, or just about any other instrument. I’m a musician, but I’m also an engineer, and I hope those skills — along with my hard work and passion — come through in my music and set it apart from the AI slop which is becoming so prevalent . 🙏🙏🙏 (And yes, I did have ChatGPT proof read this Bio, which is why it's full of em-dash symbols 😅)

As for the lyrics in my songs — the stories they tell — those are all me. They come from my life experiences, and from the obsessive scribbling of the angsty autistic teenager who still lives in my head and believes his poetry is so deeply profound. 😅