Minestrone

The Abortion That lived

Our album Loose Change and a Box of Good & Plenty

Loose Change and a Box of Good & Plenty

49 Ways To Die

I Have Shirts To Hang In The Closet But No Hangers To Speak Of

From the beginning of time, The Flaming Intestines lived in a trailer park, located due East of the Magma Core of the Earth, a suburb of Hell. One afternoon as they were practicing for an upcoming gig, an unexpected surge of molten lava swept them away in it's current. Managing to hoist their instruments, as well as themselves, onto a large floating piece of volcanic obsidian glass they surfed along for quite some time along this molten current. Eventually, they were spewed upward and out of the mouth of a normally dormant volcano in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Though unfamiliar with their new surroundings, they saw this as the perfect opportunity to reach a wider audience with their music, they decided to begin preparing for a worldwide tour on the surface of the Earth.

Stu Angry, the visionary leader of the band, describes himself as a "singer/songwriter at heart, with an anger management problem." His bouts with this condition come out in many of the Flaming Intestines songs, such as "Really Mean Guy," "Takin' It Out On Yer Skullz" and "I Have Shirts to Hang in the Closet, but No Hangers to Speak of." 

Toxic Brain is Stu Angry’s cousin, and when not singing lead vocals on his own original songs, provides background harmonies and various grunts. Some consider him to have masochistic tendencies. Tox disagrees, and prefers to the term "Extreme Thrill Seeker." Listen to songs such as “Burning Out My Retinas By looking at an Eclipse" and "The Meat Grinder," and judge for yourself. 

Jake is the driving force behind the band’s unbelievable sonic power, holding the world record for the producing the most deafening "JNT" ever produced on a stringed instrument. "The JNT is my signature, and also like a snowflake, because no two JNTs have ever sounded exactly alike." 

Bloody Chicken Colon provides the bone crushing beats for the band. It is from his rich life experiences and troubled childhood that songs such as "Carousel of Death" and "Evil Ice Cream Man" have emerged. "My real name is Lawrence" he says "But I earned the name Bloody Chicken Colon from an incident on my Uncle Sam’s farm when I was nine years old. The name just kind of stuck." 

Snake can only be described as a large, smelly mass of matted hair with a bass guitar. His eyesight totally obscured by his knotted locks since birth, he learned to play the bass by touch alone. Many agree that this catapults him into the stratosphere of talent shared by musicians Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles. When asked for a comment, Snake remains his humble self, uttering his customary, muffled "Unghhh." 

Last, and at the same time least, My Head is Fire is the most recent additions to the Flaming Intestines. As one of the band’s earliest and most devoted fans, Phil Stevens had attended every live show that FI ever put on. But one evening, in what Stu describes as the "Perfect Storm of Metal music," the Phil found himself caught in a sonic vortex created by the convergence of an enormous series of Jake’s JNTs, BCC’s double bass drum fill, and simultaneous stage right and left pyrotechnic explosions. His head burst instantly into flames. With no extinguisher readily available, and the band’s unshakable professionalism when it comes to finishing a set, after 15 minutes many around him noticed that, similar to the Burning Bush of the Old testament, his head was "burning, but not consumed." 

The band could not help but feel responsible, and yet at the same time inspired by the event. They asked him if he would become a permanent part of the band. To this day, MHIF serves as a beacon, the eternal flame of moral support, and on-stage antics that are often a part of every FI show. When asked for a comment, he simply said "My head is fire. It is my head. And it is fire. I have no regrets."

Minestrone

The Flaming Intestines

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