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you said you would always look for me in the crowd

gbc III

Lyrics

Lumbini legend
A wandering tutor
500 years before Christian got glued in
An age of the one
Answers observed eyes closed
Silence under a tree
Lives of suffering warmed with a smile
We laugh at our pain
We feather throttle for cry
We find only moments in outer space
Infinity loops back for Karma good grace
A greater good reasoned these millenia ago
Morality from knowledge and sharing empathy show

You find your experience
Or you can see what you've been told
My guess,
Jesus knew he was god
And since priests made god this g.o.a.t
He was just a man for me
Human like you, Mo Salah, Buddha or me
For at their level we can attain their power
And realize your godly hour
With older thought we are under the thumb
The thumb of the past reflecting old wrong
I am me and it's my reality
So I'll project what I feel and see

Above, Great men ahead of their time
They'd be this today if still alive along side
But still just humans compassion tuned
The same passion is unique in you

Good Legends in the Garden

there are reasons that i can't stay 
i counted them all myself 
but i will always keep awake 
searching for how it felt 
because all i want is to find myself in anyone 
and i wonder if it'll ever come 
as easy as us giving up 

if this could stop 
i don't think i'd want it to 
i built my life around watching everything you do 
it still feels like you can hear me when i talk to you 
you just don't respond 

and all i want is to find myself in anyone 
and i wonder if you're having fun 
i wonder if you're having fun 

all i want is to find myself in anyone 
and i wonder if you're having fun 
in that empty space where we used to talk

you wanted to look for help, i wanted to sit and wait to be rescued

I dnt knw who I am and that's ok kinda

we would make an EP but i think we're both too impatient for that so!! :p

lyrics:
You expect more of me than I could ever meet
Everything I do is never quite complete
I know I disappoint you but I'm trying as hard as I can
You'll never care and I'll never understand
Please just give it a rest and don't expect the best
For I know you'll expect too much and I'll just let you down
I'll just let you down

I want to tell you that I need you to be proud of me
I know it's annoying and I'm sorry please don't hate me
I'm sorry
Without support, this is so hard, it's so hard
Will you believe in my vision
I need to stop wishing
It's so hard

it's so hard

fault lines

this is not as good as it could have been but im building a new computer and will lose all my demos so i decided to top this one off and post it!! :p thank you for listening

lyrics:
i'm never really happy with anything that i do
i always feel like someone else could've done it better
i know that didn't rhyme i just wanted to say
that i feel this way every fucking day
of my life

but it's ok i know that i'll be alright
and maybe one day i'll feel like i did something right

something right [demo]

i always liked how your hands looked
and not just in comparison to mine
they were an artists hands
calloused from building walls and
skin covered in clay that cracked as it dried
you see, i have two thoughts
before touching someones hands
are they soft? i hope not
not too soft
because four years ago i fell into a hole
so as soon as they touch
i wonder if they're strong enough
to help pull me to the top
and are they cold? god i hope so
because mine are so cold
that anytime someone touches them
they ask me if something's wrong
i know that most people have walls but
i just don't think mine are the same
you are hiding away
i am trying to escape
i am inside of a cave
trying to retain the memory
of the last time that i saw the light of the day
and i told you that where i am felt permanent
and you told me to give it time because nothing is
but the minute our hands touched i felt something click
because they were strong
with the force to dig your nails into the earth
and make the world suddenly stop
and they were cold
like the metal gears and glass casing
constructing a clock
and i know that i'm not moving fast enough
i know that so much time has already passed us up
and i know that it must be frustrating to stand in front
of someone who keeps promising you that they'll get better
without the evidence to back it up
but you have to trust me
the past is ugly
but i'll make it to the other side as long as i know
that when i get there i'll have somebody
please, i know that i can do this
i just need another half a month
i can pull through this
i just need our hands to touch

you said that you would always look for me in the crowd
with the same eagerness that a child sifts through the lost and found
searching for anything that felt missing
never considering what would happen the moment you stopped
as if the moment you're not looking for an object
is the moment it stops being lost
i get it, you were cold
but i wanted to be more than just a coat
clinging onto a body that i was never constructed to hold
or a mirror to look into when your reflection
stopped looking like a person that you know
i know that you know the feeling of new clothes
but do you know what it's like
to sit at the bottom of a box every night
replaying the fantasy of cold hands reaching inside
to take you home

you said you felt lost when you were found out
the death of our hands on your couch
was the birth of discovery
that someone elses hands
could feel cold
and in that sudden rush
i thought of all the hands
that could help me build a home
and none of them looked like yours

hands

cut my skin on angel wings

black roses [prod. lil soda boi]

bad person [prod. lil soda boi]

March 11th one year ago from today was the day I sat down and wrote this painfully honest song. I don't think I've ever shown anyone this recording. This was the version that was supposed to be on WWTMS but due to the horrible clipping, I had to record this song 4 different times to get it right. This is one of the only songs meant for WWTMS that wasn't put on it! I hope you all enjoy :)

Swallow Red (bathroom version)

end of my life.

catnaps in an abandoned parking lot

wake up tired
sometime before noon
it’s stuck on my mind 
something i told you

i’m sorry that i do
things i don’t want to

do you believe in love
it feels like a memory of a cher song
do you believe in love
i’m scratching my eyes out 
come over to my house

everything’s empty
i am a part of what you lack
tell me i’m crazy
put up a wall i cannot pass

do you believe in love
i want us to listen to that cher song
do you believe in love
i’m scratching my eyes out

nov 13 (do you believe in love)

i record songs and write poems and i really hope you're having a good day.

hands

flatsound

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