Magic: The Gathering parody rap of "Wiley Flow" by Stormzy.

Lyrics:
Bruh, I didn’t look at it this way before,
But when I stopped castin' brainstorm
I realized all you players are Junders
You’re a bunch of junders, bruh
Two for ones and top decks
Green Sun’s Zenith prospects
Well…

If you don’t cast thoughtseize turn one
Then I don’t wanna hear no chat bout blunders
You players are Junders
Lillies and bobs and oozes
Tarmogoyf bruises
Kolaghan’s command chooses
Discard, shatter, or twofers
Disentomb endurance
Punishing fire loopin’
You losin’

Hymnin' to Tourach
So we playin’ off the top
Cascadin’ goes for broke
Blighting gonna hit you with the smoke
These braids are flappin’ off their blood
Tap four, we castin’ Dracula
Collect another trophy
Assassinate ya
When we play enchantress
We back to nature

Pay eight life you fuckin’ coward
Flex ya grip like it’s full of power
Forget the student debt you’re rackin’
Math’s for losers just keep attacking’
Who cares if uro blanks your deck
We’re in too deep to course correct
We’re summer veiled, 
we’ll cling to dust
Curse the cabal
The way Lily does

Bruhhh
I don’t know if you understand what I’m sayin’ yet
But if you ain’t castin’ brainstorm then you just gotta keep the pressure on ‘em

Jund will fuck up DnT
Wrath the board; Pernious deed, 
They’ll rebuild while we’re engineering
Explosive POW — silent clearing 
But please don’t try to go recruitin’
Last hope’ll smack it and abuse it
This is madness — fatal push
Commit   war crimes; George W. Bush

Bruuhhhh
I get it all the good cards are in blue
And Murktide is a fucking beating

But if you don’t cast throughtseize turn one,
Then I don’t wanna hear no qualms about dragons
Go pyroblastin’
Fuck escaping’ uro
Dumb play patterns
Surgical extraction
Calls games like John Maddan
Touch actin’ tenactin’
Now we gaining some traction
By dashin’ in

Ragavan the GOAT
Castin cards off their deck
And if they be playin’ blue
Then they’ll show us some respect
We used to play the cards
That traded 1-for-1 
But then changed the bar
And that was undone
And now the black cards
Are unplayable
But we Jund so hard
We’re unassailable.

Junders

Magic: The Gathering parody of "Earthquake" by Cheap ThrillZ

Lyrics:

Miracle trigger on the stack, I’m castin’ it
Just like time, Saint’s Katherine’ happenin’
5/5 lifelink, think I’ll flash it in
Triumph’s the truth, we're both veracious

Oops my b, I meant veracious
Honestly, my deck’s predaceous
My miracles are so salacious
Get ya hard in public; ostentatious

40K that’s Warhammer
In the church of ForceofPhil, they clamor
For his decklist; cause they’re so enamored
Cause it mashes like the Brits, that’s bangers

I correctly cast predict, I planned it
Counterbalance all your tricks; ya jammed it
Terminus ya board, ya lands are stranded
I’ll thwart your face then I’ll snap a candid

Praesidium Protectiva
That’s Saint Katherine’s flavor feature
Shuffle six cards right underneath her
She’s etherium, I’m Tezz the Seeker

I’m Botticelli; she’s Primavera
I’m Manet; she’s Folies Bergére
I’m Renoir; she’s Grenouillére
I’m Matisse; she’s Bonheur de Vivre
I’m Goya; she’s Tauromaquia
I’m Van Gogh; she’s Mona Lisa
I’m Rembrandt; she’s The Standard Bearer
I’m DougesonTwitch; she’s the baneslayer

Warhammer; those were art bars
Like an artist, I draw cards
Illustrator, I’m illustrious
I’m a writer, here’s a plot twist

Miracle 
Saint Katherine
Like a javelin 
to the abdomen
In the top seven, 
She’s a deadly sin
She’ll string you out 
like a violin
She’s sticky
Like a goblin
On the battlefield
She’s residin’ in
No denyin’ it
Or defyin’ it
Time to resign the game and
Sign the slip
She’ll beat you down 
With her cape and shield
She’ll steal your life
And then make ya feel
So sad and lonely
And so defeated
You’ll beg for mercy
Wish you’d conceded
But you had the chance
That’s in the past
This game was over
When it came to pass
Your fate was sealed
Right from the start
When I miracle’d
This work of art

Miracle Saint Katherine
By design
She’s so sublime
Turning water into wine 
She overhauled the archetype
Haters try deny the hype
But Triumph shrugs it off like
She’s kryotonite
And your superman with a stupid plan
She’ll make you resign like your Vince McMahon

She’ll make you tap with a sharpshooter
Best there was, best there is, while you’re a loser
Rock Bottom you straight through to the basement
She’ll Stone cold stun you to your grave since
She’s MTG’s new Undertaker
Tombstone you; that’s a neck breaker
Triumph’s the Truth is understatement
She’s Charlotte Flair; it’s second nature

She’s Triple H, she’s takin’ over
She’s Dean Malenko with the four-leaf clover
She’s Boldwyr Intimidator
And you’re a coward who can’t block her either

She’s futuresight
unprecedented
You can call her Garruk
Cause she’s relentless

She’ll break your teeth
Send you to the dentist
You’re a partisan; 
She’s an independent

A triumph is a funeral
A procession so beautiful
The lingo’s unusual, I’ll
Still outplay you; inscrutable

Magic: The Gatherin’
Is now Magic: Saint Katherine
The red zone’s a labyrinth
For your creatures; inadequate

Miracle 
Saint Katherine
Like a javelin 
to the abdomen
In the top seven, 
She’s a deadly sin
She’ll string you out 
like a violin
She’s sticky
Like a goblin
On the battlefield
She’s residin’ in
No denyin’ it
Or defyin’ it
Time to resign the game and
Sign the slip
She’ll beat you down 
With her cape and shield
She’ll steal your life
And then make ya feel
So sad and lonely
And so defeated
You’ll beg for mercy
Wish you’d conceded
But you had the chance
That’s in the past
This game was over
When it came to pass
Your fate was sealed
Right from the start
When I miracle'd
This work of art

Miracle Saint Katherine

Magic: The Gathering Parody song to "HIGHS" by Jee Juh Beats

Lyrics:
People want cards banned all the time bro
But people can play whatever they want bro
Play whatever you want.

Dack Fayden Lootin’ Faithlessly
Like he’s an atheist, call him
the greatest thief in the multi
mist of the blind eternities

He’s got them red hands from handlin’
The masterpieces off your mantles and
Dancing down your chimnies like he’s
Saint Nick and he’s 

eatin’ milk and cookies
Cause my man loves dessert
He’s fights off Nicol Bolas off
Ravnica to take what he’s earned

But an untimely death is ultimately 
what he was served
Cling to the dust;
Assassin’s trophy confirmed

We lost a good one today.
Dack Fayden was my boy.
Dude cooked a bomb-ass omelet.
Loved that conditioner he used.
But don’t forget…

You can play whatever you want 
Cause this Stryfo Pile
Playin 25 colors, this game gon take awhile

You can play whatever you want 
Cause this Stryfo Pile
Playin 48 colors, this game gon take awhile

You can play whatever you want 
Cause this Stryfo Pile
Playin 69 colors, this game gon take awhile

You can play whatever you want 
Cause this Stryfo Pile
Play whatever you want 

You can play with Baleful Strix
In the Stryfo bag of tricks
But don’t you think be remiss
If you missed the fourth ponder

In this 27-color deck with playin’
drown in the loch
This is magic the gathering
designed by Jackson Pollock

It’s like a Rhystic Studies vid 
sleeved itself up for a game
A colorful array; the mana base 
remains unexplained

Ice-fang, notion thief, Golos, the tireless pilgrim
Toxic deluge, punishing fire, cephalid coliseum
Yorion, opposition agent, rise and fall,
Fatal push, pyroblast, lightning bolt, Uro, waterlogged grove

Endurance, Minsc & Boo, Fury, Boseiju endures
Brazen Borrower, badlands, bayou, carpet of flowers
Pernicious deed, taiga, Otawara, Sorin the mirthless
Plague engineer, tear asunder, yo I think this workin’

Play a wasteland, loam it back, loot it away with your Dack
Put Hullbreach on the stack, attack, or Meltdown artifacts

You can play whatever you want 
Cause this Stryfo Pile
Playin 25 colors, this game gon take awhile

You can play whatever you want 
Cause this Stryfo Pile
Playin 48 colors, this game gon take awhile

You can play whatever you want 
Cause this Stryfo Pile
Playin 69 colors, this game gon take awhile

You can play whatever you want 
Cause this Stryfo Pile
Play whatever you want

Stryfo Pile (Play Whatever You Want)

Magic: The Gathering rap parody of "Revival" by Jake Angel Beats.

Lyrics:

It’s the AnziD steam; MTG; 
slinging legacy up on the twitch scene
We’re going for the eyes, look at Minsc & Boo
Playing all 5 colors, we don’t have to choose

Castin’ EI, PE, STP,
clock is always red cause he brings the heat
Sylvan library; we’re payin’ eight
With Terminus’ mom, Uro escapes

Dressin’ Down opponents; oops he flashed ya
Streamer, commentator, mage; spell “caster”
double entendre, endurance matters
Fly across the world; eternal magic master

Punts on punts on punts galore
Elo puntin’, Anzi hits record
Sponsors shellin’ out hot meals to eat
Death & Taxes on stream guaranteed

He’s got Toast in chat, he’s makin’ toast
He’s the content king, coverage; the G.O.A.T
Fans in chat know that he’s fetchin’ duals
Place your bets: ponder, miss, then he’ll scoop

Wasteland, taiga, play savannah
Prismatic mana; panorama
This is legacy, this ain’t commander 
But Yorion’s his jam; let’s take a gander at...

AnziD playin’ MTG, AnziD playin’ legacy
Welcome to the stream
Would you like to reveal? 
His hand hider designed in ’17
AnziD playin’ MTG, AnziD playin’ legacy
AnziD playin’ MTG, AnziD playin’ legacy
AnziD playin’ MTG, AnziD playin’ legacy
Welcome to the stream
Would you like to reveal? 
His hand hider designed in ’17
AnziD playin’ MTG, AnziD playin’ legacy
AnziD playin’ MTG, AnziD playin’ legacy

anzidmtg Theme

MTG Parody of Yo MTG Taps Theme Song (Podcast hosted by Joey Pasco and Big Head Joe | music credit to their music producer)

Lyrics:

Yo MTG
Yo MTG

We got DurdleMagus durdlin’
And ForceofPhil spittin' bars
They’re the side event end bosses
Planewalkin’ the shards

The best podcasters ever makin’ plays

Yo MTG
Yo MTG
Raps!

Yo MTG Raps!

This Game Is

Hogaak On The Stack

Forgot About ForceofPhil

Magic Changes

Wizard Impaired

Underworld Breach

Underground dojo keyboard cage fighter making Magic: The Gathering song parodies

Junders

ForceofPhil

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