if you ever feel like you are not enough
dial 988 (USA)
dial 116 123 (UK)

-

i wish you'd tell me that its over
i'd run right back and win her over
i hate you but dont hate yourself
i'd help you but cant help myself

you keep talking to your friends
about the person that i am
or the person that i was those years ago
think that love is just a scam
wish i was another man 
and build my name up off the ground like heroes
(oh)

look at you
look at you
look at you now
those scars on your hands meant i let you down
look at you
look at you
look at you
and it all comes back here

trying my best but im down on my own
closing my door cause you'll never come home
crying alone cause i know its my fault
please dont let go
dont go

ive been trying hard to move on
always got a point to prove on
what happens if i say how i feel? (say it)
pushed me to the side its not real
all that i said was a joke
cant get the words out ill choke (what are you sorry for?)

why would you assume that?
i grew up
you knew that

i wish you'd tell me that its over
i'd run right back and win her over
i hate you but dont hate yourself
i'd help you but cant help myself

you keep talking to your friends
bout the person that i am
or the person that i was those years ago
think that love is just a scam
wish i was another man 
and build my name up off the ground like heroes
(oh)

look at you
look at you
look at you now
those scars on your hands meant i let you down
look at you
look at you
look at you
and it all comes back here (faces in 2D)

trying my best but im down on my own (on that plastic screen )
closing my door cause you'll never come home (and inverted dreams)
crying alone cause i know its my fault
i grew up
you knew that

heroes

crossfire

-

im so damn pissed
pissed huh
pissed off
did some dumb shit
expect me to give a fuck

everywhere i look
reminds me of who i was
everything you took
you could keep it just because
everything i was
isn’t everything i am
got some bad luck
you might think i give a
damn

please can we get into that
you got me caught in the crossfire
and you didn’t know how to act

called you
please do not take your time
you know that i want you
wanted to make you mine
but you didn’t know me
and that’s not your fault
please can you hold me
and never let go

im so damn pissed
pissed huh
pissed off
did some dumb shit
expect me to give a fuck

everywhere i look
reminds me of who i was
everything you took
you could keep it just because

im so damn pissed
pissed huh
pissed off
did some dumb shit
expect me to give a fuck

everywhere i look
reminds me of who i was
everything you took
you could keep it just because
everything i was
isn’t everything i am
got some bad luck
you might think i give a
damn

please can we get into that
you got me caught in the crossfire
and you didn’t know how to act
—

crossfire

recorded on an iphone at a random hotel room in berlin circa 2019

lyrics:
asked can you feel this
the pain stopped ringing in my head
i lost all feeling
the cuts dig deeper in my skin

they heal through seasons
but winters cold
i feel so scared

so can you hear me
now that you're gone
no voice is there
im so scared

im so scared
im so scared
im so
im so scared

--

if you have ever been in a similar headspace
dial 988 (USA)
dial 116 123 (UK)

in loving memory

dedicated to the childhood park which molded my youth

lyrics:

and ive been trying so hard
not to speak to myself
i wonder if ill grow up
those cuts speak for themselves

and i grew complacent
between the ages
wanted to grow up
why did you change

and i've been trying so hard
so what
so what

(少し疲れました。休憩が必要だと思います。)

those times i wish i fell asleep
in your arms
why do you feel so out of reach
im so alone

all those attempts shouldnt have failed
i sometimes scream
i pray for help
god just take me home

(およそ一ヶ月ほどの間。)

and ive been trying so hard 
not to speak to myself
i wonder if i'll grow up
those cuts speak for themselves

and i grew complacent
between the ages
wanted to grow up
why did you change

and i've been trying so hard
so hard
so what

if you ever feel as if you are alone, talk to someone. please dial these numbers:

dial 988 (USA)
dial 116 123 (UK)

inspired by the foreign film 'mirrored mind' (2005) and the mental journey of figuring out personal identity

carlisle

wishes

official music video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHobHG2OXfE
stream: fordis.lnk.to/wishes

-

i wont take you back since
i hate to remember that all of this shits my fault
left it in the past tense
when it hits september i feel like im on my own

i was so wrong
i wont ever take you back
left your phone blocked
got fake friends
dont trust them too
got some cuts up on my shirt
shit you put me through

wasted all my time and
ruining my past and
cheated on the race but you still finished up on last place
fuck that
you dont know me too
hope they're always looking up to me
cause i wont look at you

sometimes i wish and i pray
that you'd call my phone
and you'd tell me its okay
now you killed a part of myself
put a pillow to my head and i'd
cry the pain away

i've been trying so hard (damn)
i've been trying so hard
i've been trying so hard
damn

damn
damn
damn

i was so wrong
and i haven't felt this lost in like so long (so long)
put it on god
he ain't care about my struggle in like so long

so i act like i ain't numb and im so strong
and am i a waste of time cause you moved on?
closing both my eyes hope i respawn
left me on my own had to sit and write a new song

i was so wrong
i wont ever take you back
left your phone blocked
got fake friends
dont trust them too
got some cuts up on my shirt
shit you put me through

wasted all my time and
ruining my past and
cheated on the race but you still finished up on last place
fuck that
you dont know me too
hope they're always looking up to me
cause i wont look at you

sometimes i wish and i pray
that you'd call my phone
and you'd tell me its okay
now you killed a part of myself
put a pillow to my head and i'd
cry the pain away

i've been trying so hard (damn)
i've been trying so hard
i've been trying so hard
damn

damn
damn
damn

i was so wrong
and i haven't felt this lost in like so long (it's not worth it)
put it on god
he ain't care about my struggle in like so long

i wont take you back since
i hate to remember that all of this shits my fault
left you in the past tense
when it hits september i feel like im on my own
—

wishes

video out now: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fnzyutj7XJ4

back like i never left x

__

set your mind right
i dont really care but
i just wanna know when the times right
and i know you got no friends but
i just wanna know where ur minds at
took a prozac
faded
left my third eye on a mindmap
fuck unconscious hating
you dont wanna know where my minds at

and i know you hate the sight but
i dont wanna leave when youre blinded
shed some tears in amsterdam cause
i dont wanna hear when we're fighting

wont cut away, cut away with your losses
/i dont wanna hear when we're fighting/
wont cut away, cut away with your losses
/i dont wanna hear when we're fighting/
wont cut away, cut away with your losses
/i dont wanna hear when we're fighting/
wont cut away, cut away with your losses
/i dont wanna hear when we're fighting/
wont cut away, cut away with your losses

i dont wanna hear when we're--
/wont cut away, cut away with your losses/
i dont wanna hear when we're fighting
/wont cut away, cut away with your losses/
i dont wanna hear when we're

-

produced by neverforever

tears

my shortest and most self explanatory release

-

i made more enemies than friends this year
but thats alright
i guess it shows
that im doing good somewhere
somewhere
somewhere

i made more enemies than friends this year
but thats alright
i guess it shows
that im doing good somewhere
somewhere
somewhere

produced by ty cheung & me
drums by o0o

enemies

video out now: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJ5xVZUkh3Q

produced by anem0s

-

maybe i was just too in my head
fuck it i dont know
touch my face if i call you again
you can take me home
you treat me like im dumb
baby i dont really like that

bae im so gone right now
high in the coupe right to your place fucking with you right now
fighting with you is such a waste
know you still kiss me down 
lets be adults right now 
i didnt want you when I met you
but i could right now

baby it’s so exhausting 
keep me for the night
in the morning I’m getting lost in 
know i did you wrong bae
im sorry we wasnt talking 
you know i got options 

maybe i was just too in my head
fuck it i dont know
touch my face if i call you again
you can take me home
you treat me like im dumb
baby i dont really like that

address the little things you cant hold back
ive been on my own and its not your fault
and im trying to go
move on
just take your time
yeah

my momma raised a quitter
tell him come here
looked straight at the mirror
think im stuck here
but dont wanna
why do i still feel alone

dont try to call me up
ive been tryna get my stuff together
stuff together

maybe i was just too in my head
fuck it i dont know
touch my face if i call you again
you can take me home
you treat me like im dumb
baby i dont really like that

i know deep down you wanted just more than sex
and i could tell by your frowns that it was just more or less

XXX (feat. 4cf)

watch the music video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3F3SYdW0iuI

"Baile Anthem" out everywhere: https://ffm.to/fordisbaileanthem

production by DJ Krewes

-

i know ive changed 
and i know you act surprised
cause deep down 
it feels like someone just died
i always dreamed of being the same
i always

spectator to my losses
made money then i lost it
cause you cant involve the world
and i cant help but evolve

the amount of times 
you know i stay away from here
opened up that door 
and now i gotta face my fears
put your hands to the sky 
if you know what im feeling
popped some pills
amsterdam
i dunno about this feeling
dunno about this feeling

i know ive changed 
and i know you act surprised
i know ive changed 
and i know you act surprised
i always dreamed of being the same

and you know that time broke us up
answer the call
cuts on your skin
it wasnt my fault
cried in my arms
ten miles from france
jumped in the car
you couldnt dance
you couldnt dance

dance
you couldnt dance
you couldnt dance
you couldnt dance
you couldnt dance
you couldnt dance
you you you

the amount of times
you know i stay away from here
opened up that door 
and now i gotta face my fears
put your hands to the sky 
if you know what im feeling
popped some pills
amsterdam
i dunno about this feeling
dunno about this feeling

-

long live soundcloud x

Baile Anthem

goal

produced by @duble / @jackemipho

—
and i (x6)

its complicated all the times that i cant pick up
heard a knock at the
so i cant miss ya
cant miss ya
strip it off so i can kiss ya
can kiss ya

i am more than your vessel
i tried to save it all the nights that i met you
its overrated all the times that i
id even say that i could see you with my eyes closed
show you that youve always been my

end goal (x16)

girl you know that i cant sing
alone
put myself up in your skin and bones

i am more than your vessel
i tried to save it all the nights that i met you
its overrated all the times that i
id even say that i could see you with my eyes closed
show you that youve always been my

and deep down
you keep thinking that im stressed
id hate to send that message over text
i aint even mean to hit you back
cause

i am more than your vessel
i tried to save it all the nights that i met you
its overrated all the times that i
id even say that i could see you with my eyes closed
show you that youve always been my

goal

watch the music video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEROJNIXYbI

if you ever feel like you are not enough
dial 988 (USA)
dial 116 123 (UK)

--

i cant win
when we're talking
and if i grow
youll try to stop me
yeah

ill spend time away
on my own
for the weekend
youll stare at the sky
hoping im
at the ceiling

20 years old
but no house is a home man
and i let my baba down
i dont think that he noticed
and i made my baba frown
so dont act like youd know man
and i know my covers blown
so dont cope with that romance

when you claim to be yourself
and then they think youre someone else
i wont hold it against them
i did what i wanted
familiar concepts
it sits on my conscious

and you shouldve knocked
hiding my arms
these truths hold a cost
hung on a cross

(20 years old but no house is a home)

fordis

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