Name: it’s a spider (in my room) by frances mistry
Duration: 2 min 4 s
Description: i made this when i was 10 and people asked for it so here it is. i hope u enjoy my 10 year old self creation

i made this when i was 10 and people asked for it so here it is. i hope u enjoy my 10 year old self creation

it’s a spider (in my room)

took the concept and ran with it
______________
it’s christmas eve again
well i lied, it’s just the tenth
of the month, let’s burn december down

but in a festive way
we’ll do it with some christmas lights
before the holiday.

i’ve got enough holiday cheer
to burn december down this year
i saw the yule log on TV
that’s what I want christmas time to be. 

it’s christmas day again
well i lied, it’s the eleventh
of the month, let’s burn december down

not in an evil way - 
just like a cute seasonal villain
animated out of clay

i’ve got enough holiday cheer
to burn december down this year
santa claus, my dear,
breed yourself some fireproof reindeer

all i want for christmas isn’t jesus
yeah the kind of son I want
ain’t the son of god, it’s just god damned arson.

the world is up in flames - 
it’s so festive, red’s a christmas color anyway.

i’ve got enough holiday cheer
to burn december down this year
i saw the yule log on TV
that’s what I want christmas time to be. 

Let's Burn December Down

FREE DOWNLOAD AT 
https://sidneygish.bandcamp.com/album/merry-crisis-ep

Safety In Numbers

this song is probably too extra even for me
__________________
it’s afternoon, i’m feeling sick
i’m spewing stupid rhetoric
i’m starting shit on post aesthetics 
like a fucking lunatic

i’m home alone,
i’m making jokes,
i’m drowning in my iPhone
And my ears have sprouted headphones
So I'll watch my weary tone

i know i’m being angsty
insert joke here about banksy
what’s a chinese river? yangtze
-then the MC said well thanks she’s leaving soon. 

she’ll stop trying to rhyme before high noon
tomorrow, 
retire to her room
and sit around
and count the hours down 
Till June

July and August end
In this state I've got like four friends
Left not like there were much to start with
Now we're on big and better things

She'll stop trying to sing before it rings tomorrow
My alarm is lingering
And I live in a shell of things tonight

she’ll stop trying to rhyme before high noon
tomorrow, 
retire to her room
and sit around
and count the hours down 


Late evening and then the night
I'm lurking and I feel alright
1000 calories to spite 
The days I used to diet hard and die
A bit but not too much
But writing everything down sucks
And timing every syllable is dumb
I ate a thousand calories

She'll stop trying to eat before he cheats tomorrow
Carve my name into his leather seEeEeat

Said the MC:
she’ll stop trying to rhyme before high noon
tomorrow, 
retire to her room
and sit around
and count the hours down 
Till June.

july and august and september and october and november and december and january 

february march and april and don’t forget may too

i’ll sit around and count the hours down til june

Its Afternoon, I'm Feeling Sick

was gonna actually write this song but the placeholder lyrics were all english words so what the heck

gone n ended

Black Dog (AJJ)

Live at Bowery Ballroom Nov 7 2017

AJJ - Big Bird (Live at Bowery Ballroom Nov 7 2017)

Where The Sidewalk Ends

Newgrounds Death Rugby - Snarl Barx

realised too late that the title is gramatically incorrect but oh well.

lyrics:
first time i told anyone that i had ocd
they almost laughed a little bit about the fact but not at me
because the fact was i was sick but everyone kinda assumed
that i could not have ocd when they took a step into my room
with my sheets half off my bed and half my closet on the floor
and torn up papers, bags of garbage, stickers splattered on my door
forever messy all my life, a joke that followed since i was a kid
so no one realised when i got sick and couldn’t do anything.

i didn’t know i had compulsions, never questioned them for long.
the things i did to make myself calm down was not what felt so wrong.
it was my brain and all its humming noise, its never-ending sounds.
and even if it wasn’t screaming static it was always loud.
before i knew about obsessions id had grown used to the fact
that sometimes thoughts or weird ideas would stick around but then they’d pass
of course they left after a while and was replaced by something else
but i just thought that that was normal, after all i was a kid.

when i was 16 something changed and the ideas stopped passing by
now replaced by one thought i could not get rid of if i tried
it overshadowed every other thing and kept me up at night
and suddenly it was the only thing id think of all the time.
ocd is such a guilty thing, it feels like being chained.
it feels like you are going crazy with the weight of all the shame
it feels like waking up in mornings fearing for your life
because your brain is tryna convince you that you deserve to die.
its like your toeing on the edge of what is true and what is fake
because your brain is suddenly an unfamiliar place
and like a meatcleaver it cuts your thoughts to pieces without name
and you can’t see whats up and down you only focus on the pain.
its like theres something in your eye so you can only see with one
and there is so much you are missing but you’re convinced you’re not.
you are aware that you are crazy but you’re doubting everyone
and you get lost inside this spiral of fighting and giving up-

its like a shadow in your skull that somehow controls all your thoughts
and there is no room for your rationality or normal stuff
so all you ever really focus on is everything you fear
and everything becomes a phobia until you’re barely there.
i cannot comprehend the hours i have spent in total terror
every night of secret punishments of pleas and empty prayers
every night id gone to bed so sure i wouldn’t wake up
and every time that i considered if enough was now enough
so the first time i told anyone that i had ocd
there was a lump so big inside my throat i almost couldn’t speak
and when they chuckled i was stunned cus i expected some relief
but instead i was forced to prove to them that i was really sick
i never washed my hands for hours, never sorted all my stuff
but i would freak out in the shower, cus i was alone with my thoughts
and after meds and years of therapy im better after all
but still i wish my illness wasn’t made out to be laughing stock

The First Time I Told Anyone That I Had Ocd

22 writing songs in my bedroom lol :)
thanks 4 listening x
i have things on spotify too :: frances mistry

it’s a spider (in my room)

frances mistry

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