I'm all fucked up and alone in the basement
jammin on the floor in my underwear
I can't strum nothing or drum worth a shit
but it don't much matter cause nobody's there

I don't wanna be a rock and roll hero
I just wanna be in a rockin band

I don't wanna be a rock and roll hero
I just wanna be in a rockin band

Ol' Robert Johnson paid the price of admission
went to the crossroads to be the man
it don't make sense much to speak with the devil
but i'd feel pretty cool when that mics in your hand

I don't wanna be a rock and roll hero
I just wanna be in a rockin band

I don't wanna be a rock and roll hero
I just wanna be in a rockin band

my wife and kids think i'm retarded
wastin all my time, just give it a rest
64 songs and nothing but garbage
"its alright to quit hun you did your best"

I don't wanna be a rock and roll hero
I just wanna be in a rockin band

I don't wanna be a rock and roll hero
I just wanna be in a rockin band

Stephen Malson's Album

I Don’t Wanna Be a Rock n Roll Hero

Hey Mr. Phil,
lemme offer you a hand.
And let me help you figure it out
down in Punxsutawney-land.

You just a whistle pig.
You don't ever get it right.
I don't need no god damn weatherman.
I'll just go outside.

Hey Mr. Dick,
leave the caterpillar alone.
How many years of being wrong 
before you pack it up and go home?

You don't speak no woolly bear.
and you don't ever get it right.
I don't need no god damn weatherman.
I'll just go outside.

So there's these bunch of assholes.
A whole meteorological family.
Gonna call themselves the Weather Channel,
and still go and fuck me?

You got how many weather nerds?
and you still can't get it right?
I don't need no god damn weatherman.
I'll just go outside.

Hey fuel station attendant man.
Just sell me the smokes and gas.
If I wanted your input on the weather,
I'd just fucking ask.

But I don't.
and you don't ever get it right.
I don't need no god damn weather man.
I'll just go outside.

Whistle Pig

bunch of butt brothers 
rubbing crystals on their nuts
at a digital buffet
of Kardashian sluts

1 man 1 jar 
on a quest to show the world
just who you are 
did you laugh or did you hurl?

we don't have to feed them anymore
none of these folks were ever poor
give them something else to do
than live their lives off of you
just roll your eyes and shut the door
say "no comprendo"

some lonely guy's
got a project for you
can you draw him as a dragon
and his dick as a kazoo?

and he's up in a cloud
fucking abraham lincoln
with a pair of sunglasses
pulled down and he's wink'n

This cock sucker's
got a youtube channel
showing new exciting ways
to dress up like a mammal

he's got a million views
here i got zero
and the whole fucking planet
calls him fucking hero

we don't have to feed them anymore
none of these folks were ever poor
give them something else to do
than live their lives off of you
just roll your eyes and shut the door
say "no comprendo"

scrawny, ditzy, rich bitch
can't tell you what she do
somehow was fucking put here
just to influence you

i wouldn't listen to what she says
but boy i tell you what
she can't influence my life
but she can influence my butt

we don't have to feed them anymore
none of these folks were ever poor
give them something else to do
than live their lives off of you
just roll your eyes and shut the door
say "no comprendo"

No Comprendo

made it to Sunday, conscience black and blue
sit down and have a cup of coffee of two
already feeling pretty low no need to watch no news
when i can put my own head down and sing the blues

I'll be wailing through the morning
come calling and you're on your own

my time Sunday morning
for my Sunday morning confession

sometime last Tuesday around four o'clock
i kicked the neighbor's dog for pissing on my truck
could see him through the window
so come out and kicked him in the head
forgot i had on my steel toed boots and kicked the fucker dead

I'll be wailing through the morning
come calling and you're on your own

my time Sunday morning
for my Sunday morning confession

I'm not trying to buy my way into heaven
i'm no god-fearing man
momma begged me to stop by the church and talk to the reverend
ain't no time with these guitar pickin hands

this past Friday i put a possum in my buddies car
needless to say he didn't make it real far
after they sifted through the wreckage and blew off the soot
there was a barbequed possum attached to my dead buddy's foot

I'll be wailing through the morning
come calling and you're on your own

my time Sunday morning
for my Sunday morning confession

I'm not trying to buy my way into heaven
I'm no god-fearing man
momma begged me to stop by the church and talk to the reverend
ain't no time with these guitar pickin hands

Just yesterday at the grocery store
an old lady got in my face because i called her a whore
reached in her purse but before you could know
i knocked her flat on her back and gave her the People's Elbow

I'll be wailing through the morning
come calling and you're on your own

my time Sunday morning
for my Sunday morning confession

I'm not trying to buy my way into heaven
i'm no god-fearing man
momma begged me to stop by the church and talk to the reverend
ain't no time with these guitar pickin hands

Sunday Confession

well the last thing that i remember,
i was walking home from the grocery store.
and i was cutting through the alley,
and a large man in black was blocking my back door.

now i think that we had a tussle or two,
but i cant remember that much more.
but now i'm stripped down but ass naked,
and I'm' nailed to my very own bedroom floor.

been playng dead for about an hour or two,
just to hear if any bodys home.
i think the place is pretty vacant,
at least i'm naked and all alone.

ive been looking for ways to free myself,
theres not much i can do.
nailed to the floor by the skin of my nuts,
i'm gonna have to pull it through.

i gathered up my wits,
and got up to my knees.
just a-rippin and a-tearin ,
beggin mother mary please.

the moment i had freed myself,
and i headed for the phone.
he came out of the closet,
he'd been there all along.

he said "this is my home"
he said "this is my home"
he said "this is my home"
he said "this is my home"

he said "this is mine!"

"this is my home
and you're my little pet
nailed to the floor 
where  i put you there to rest
i know its been a long day
i bet you're feeling sick
but wait till you're nailed to the floor
by the meat of your dick!"

Skin of My Nuts

if it aint no fancy diamond ring
i can give you everything you ever wanted
i say if money aint yo thang girl
i can give you just what you need

just say gimme some more 
just say gimme some more
they call it givin it up,
I call it love

she said "gimme some more" 
she said "gimme some more"
"when i'm ready to go,
i'll let you know"

her hot tires come screeching down my driveway
honey i can smell dem brakes from here
she sit up on my lap and wrapped her arm around me
and starts to whisper in my ear

she says "gimme some more" 
she said "gimme some more"
"they call it givin it up,
you call it love"

she say "gimme some more" 
she said "gimme some more"
"when i'm ready to go,
i'll let you know"

20 years now and she's still calling out my name
she never found a good reason to leave
floor joists bowing and bout to have to buy a better bedframe
girl don't let me breath

she's like "gimme some more"
she said "gimme some more"
"they call it givin it up,
you call it love"

"gimme some more" 
"gimme some more"
"when i'm ready to go,
i'll let you know"

Busted Bed Frames

Vocals, guitar, and foot operated drums all performed live by Franko Malley

you think i'm mean?
i couldve wrote that book at 17
you think i'm mean?
you haven't seen anything

midnight munchin eatn up all of your cereal
and i'll only leave you half a bowl

you said i'm mean?
you ain't never even seen this side of me before.

you think i'm mean?
i couldve wrote that book at 17
you think i'm mean?
you haven't seen anything

all i said to do was help me find the kids shoes
and now you gotta give me all that sassy-sas-sas-sas

you think im mean?
i stuck your toothbrush in my ass

you think i'm mean?
i couldve wrote that book at 17
you think i'm mean?
you haven't seen anything

its the fucking weekend and i'm getting shit for sleepin
so now i'm jerkin off in the dispenser for your hand soap

you think i'm mean?
how's the ocean summer breeze with a knuckleberry note

you think i'm mean?
i couldve wrote that book at 17
you think i'm mean?
you haven't seen anything

"you're always too hungover Frank you can't do nothin!"
now i'm outside jamming dogshit in the handle of your car door

and you think i'm mean?
fuckin whore

Mean (Live at Shitty's Adult Daycare)

Vocals, guitar, and foot operated drums all performed live by Franko Malley

wasted away again
now i'm coming home my friend
this is not the way i envisioned it
it's all my fault

its not the time to mend and heal
its time to make repairs
all my loves and my relationships
and to all the things i broke

the air... still feels...
the same... round here...
and i'm all there is to blame
and its all my fault

the faces when i close my eyes
remind me of my shame.
and take me to a place i can't let go
and it's all my fault

just let me go home
i can do better
i can do better

all these tears can't wash away all that wretched pain
just let me do better
lord let me do better

there's that line in the dirt
made of soil and decay
let me do better
let me do better

theres that long dark road
where i been down before
let me do better
let me do better

Dark Roads

Recorded live at home in "studio"

have i lost my mind?
somethings missing that i can't find.
have i lost all of my self-control?
have i lost all of my respect for the world?

have i worn apart,
and lost all the pieces of my broken heart?
in all the pieces, have i lost my soul?
empty choices tend to take their toll.

i tossed my faith in all the confusion.
i told myself that i lost my mind.
i'm 38, i'm an old man, just look at the times.
my analog days have been left behind.

put me back on track.
come tie my shoes and teach me how to act.
i tell myself that i can fix it all.
then i can't get myself up in the morning.

there must be more to this.
day to day, just to exist.
then give me something to make me numb.
better give me something to make me dumb.

i tossed my faith in all the confusion.
i told myself that i lost my mind.
i'm 38, i'm an old man, just look at the times.
my analog days have been left behind.

have i lost my touch?
couldn't tell you, i don't feel much.
my whole body starts to fall asleep,
from all the pressure that's on top of me.

have i lost my sight?
i have, i can't get nothing right.
slowly drifting waiting for the shore.
there's no one working in the lighthouse anymore.

i tossed my faith in all the confusion.
i told myself that i lost my mind.
i'm 38, i'm an old man, just look at the times.
my analog days have been left behind.

Them Days We Left Behind

Happy Mother's Day to my beautiful wife from me and the Mud Butts.  This is our version of the Post Malone song off of the soundtrack to the movie Into the Spider-verse, my son’s favorite.  

Emmett on Vocals, Franko on drums, steel body guitar, bass, and ukulele

Sunflower (cover)

on the right side of the partition
is a place not for the public eye
where the weathered, seasoned folk go to drink whiskey and smoke
and the light weights go to die

got rednecks pounding tables
broken glass from left to right
go on and get your smoke on
now whatcha gettin drunk on?
if it ain't whiskey you ain't right.

fuck yer fuckin liver
got ya another bottle

fuck yer fuckin liver
got ya another bottle

somebody yacked and missed the trashcan
now we're burning shit outside
just keep your fuckin head out of that old bucket of oil
and you'll prolly fuckin be alright

fuck yer fuckin liver
got ya another bottle

fuck yer fuckin liver
got ya another bottle

one's face down in the concrete
another's passed out in a chair
hey where the fuck ya goin?
i  see you down there crawlin
no one told you, that you were done here

fuck yer fuckin liver
got ya another bottle

fuck yer fuckin liver
got ya another bottle

The Liver

I’m standing by the table 
with my pants around my ankles
Waiting for the doctor to come in

When I was visited by an angel in a lab coat
Who stuck her hands on my nuts
And the is what she said

“Cough real hard and turn your head to side”
“Most of my patients get it right the first time”

I said “I’ll do as you speak”
“Except when I cough real hard”
“give me a kiss on my cheek”

I said “hold on, do I do it like this?”
Then strike a pose till she give me a kiss, but no

I said “do I do it like this?”
Then strike a pose till she give me a kiss, but no

“Cough real hard and turn your head to side”
“Most of my patients get it right the first time”

I said “I’ll do as you speak”
“Except when I cough real hard”
“give me a kiss on the cheek”

She said “hold on sir I’ll be right back”, 
then in came a man with a fuzzy mustache
And he put his clammy hands on my sack
So I just shut my eyes 
And it all went black

“Cough real hard and turn your head to side”
“Most of my patients get it right the first time”

I said “I’ll do as you speak”
“Except when I cough real hard”
“give me a kiss on the cheek”

“Cough real hard and turn your head to side”
“Most of my patients get it right the first time”

Dr. Good for Nothin’

When I saw you the other day
You had your hair pulled back and your head turned down
And a smile on your face

Saying I would trade it all just to have you for a day
I’d give it all away
Just for today

Just you and me 
Just like I think it’s supposed to be

Wherever you want to go Let’s be there hand in hand
Let me be your man

I sing my song for you but you don’t give a damn
How can I blame you when I’ve  been eating out of a garbage can

I see the all of the girls around the block a million times
But you’re the only one who made a home inside my mind

Let me be your homeless man

Let me lay you down in my cardboard fort
Light a pork fat candle or two

 if no one else is around we’ll leave the lights down
 And I’ll make a tinfoil helmet for you

You should see me balance a tv
When I’m rinding my bike down an 8 lane road

Just think of all the cool things we could find
Guess you’ll never know

I sing my song for you but you don’t give a damn
How can I blame you when I’ve been eating out of a garbage can

I’ve see all of the girls around the block a million times
But you’re the only one who made a home in this mind of mine

Let me be your homeless man

Lamplight Love

Wolfman

Stevo on guitars and vocals
Chris on drums

Give it the Beans

Stevo on guitar and vocals
Chris on drums

Overtime

Well god damn if it didn’t happen again
It’s been a long long month and it’s coming to an end
Just me and you and our other two
It’s been a lovely time but now I gotta unwind

You know I love you more than anyone else 
And I do believe I couldn’t do this by myself
And just because I need some time to breathe
It doesn’t mean that I don’t need you

Well god damn if it didn’t happen again
It’s been a long long week and it’s coming to an end
We forgot about our lessons and our discipline 
Old dad cant get a win 
It doesn’t matter to anyone

You know I love you more than anyone else 
And I do believe I couldn’t do this by myself 
And just because I need some time to breathe
It doesn’t mean that I don’t need you

Well god damn if it didn’t happen again
It’s been a long long day and it’s coming to an end
Slave your whole life away 
Ya gotta seen your friends
Me be me and you be you
And we’ll All be K in the end

You know I love you more than anyone else 
And I do believe I couldn’t do this by myself
And just because I need some time to breathe
It doesn’t mean that I don’t need you

Double Negative

Written and Performed by Stevo
Synths: Korg Volcas and Korg Minilogue

Snow Daze

Written and performed by Stevo
Synths: Korg Volcas and Korg Minilogue

Lo-Hi

Danny Glover

My 808

Init Funk #2

Electric Shock

She’s Working Tonight

Happy Mother’s Day to my beautiful wife.

Silver Moons

Live recording,  only one track on this so the mix sucks.

Fingers

Open Your Eyes

Dealing with some latency issues with my tablet.  This is more of a demo until I figure out what’s going on with my gear all of the sudden.  Recorded via mic from studio monitor.

Whoopi Goldberg

Pocket-tron

Get Pretty

All songs written, recorded and performed by Stephen Malson, solo artist from The Beards and The Bees and frontman and co writer of Bandana Dogs, Stephen has been a SoundCloud artist since 2015.

All songs are free to download.

Popular tracks by Franko Malley and the Mud Butts