fifth album under the station44 moniker.

a love letter to the city i grew up in, the people around me and the experiences i've had.

clarity

Aether - Catharsis ambulance siren version (Slowed-Reverb)

Stone In Focus (Slowed)

henry jackman - when life was beginning, i saw you (slowed + reverb)

I Loved You for the Last Time (Slowed)

hole under the rib

I’m not moving. I can feel it. Every day, the hours stretch on, but I remain here, in this same space. Not moving, not going anywhere. I try to tell myself that I’m waiting—that there’s something ahead, just out of reach—but it’s a lie. I am not waiting. I am stuck, tethered to something invisible, something heavy that keeps me anchored in place.

I try to move. My body aches with the effort, as if every part of me is screaming to break free. But no matter how much I pull, I stay. It’s as though the ground itself is holding me, pressing me into this one spot, and I am too tired to fight it.

I’ve started going for long walks, though. I heard that walking helps you think, that the act of moving forward, even physically, can trick the mind into believing it’s going somewhere. That maybe, just maybe, if I walk long enough, I’ll cross some invisible threshold, a boundary I can’t see, but one that might finally take me out of this place.

wander

don't ask the sea

We were still becoming.
And I said things—
true things,
I think.

I loved you.
Swore I’d never love another.

And I meant it.
That’s what haunts me.

How deeply we believe,
before the world begins to move beneath us.

Just time,
and the quiet undoing of vows
whispered too young.

Sometimes I hear him—
the boy I was.
Still promising.
Still sure.

Still unaware
he’s already gone.

vows

There is a point you cross without noticing. It could be a word you didn’t say, a glance you didn’t return, a door you didn’t walk through. At the time, it felt like nothing. A moment no different from the rest.
And yet, somewhere along the way, you look back and see it — a thin, invisible line, drawn in the dust behind you. And you realize you’re on the other side now.
That’s when the weight comes. The slow, suffocating understanding that there’s no way back. Not because you’re not allowed — but because what you left behind has ceased to exist. Like a bird that landed in your open palm for a heartbeat, and you let it go, thinking it was just a shadow.
Only later do you understand what you held. Only later does your body remember its warmth. And then, the nights become heavier. You lie there, staring into the dark, counting the shapes of something you’ll never hold again.
You tell yourself it was nothing. You tell yourself you couldn’t have known. But the truth is simpler, crueler — you had it. You let it fall through your fingers. And now there is only the echo, repeating in the quiet, long after the world has gone to sleep

never find your way back

i miss how it was

i miss how it was (slowed)

instagram.com/bienbienbienbienbien
https://open.spotify.com/artist/1Q1YaJhj7mePPO9K2xtsTi?si=s92hSYQpREO7phI6cW1nmQ

never find your way back

FTBN