Dumb songs for smart people and vice versa.

THROUGH THE CRACK

Living in Fiction - Hurt You

Endless

Drift

Fun, hip-hop flavored punk song about the common quest to be famous and how, y'know, not everyone's cut out for it. But you're doing great, buddy. High five!

LYRICS:

A jungle cat, I'm stalkin'
You suckers best stop walkin'
You may find it appallin'
Your crew already fallen
I bet I see you jawin'
I'm at your flank and clawin'
This clappin' back is like a trap
And at your wrist you gnawin'

You claim some heady ballin'
You prob'ly steady stallin'
You fallin' and you sprawlin'
Your mama you be callin'

Everybody wants to be a star
But we don't know just what or who you are
You think that you just lit the world's radar
But, bitch, you pingin' like my grandma's car

Yo, yo, yo

Like magic, bitch, I'm sawin' you
in half or maybe wallin' you
This casket's heavy haulin', true
This crack is where you stallin', dude
Spill, spill, spillin' tea, I'm illin', B
I spit the feels that's fillin' me
Your silly skills is killin' me
How small your shade, how lit I be
I bet that you will never see

The levers, mirrors up my sleeve
From sea to fuckin' shiny sea
I bounce right back what you throw at me

Everybody wants to be a star
But we don't know just what or who you are
You think that you just lit the world's radar
But, bitch, you pingin' like my grandma's car

Yo, yo, yo

Levers, mirrors up my sleeve
From sea to fuckin' shiny sea
I bounce right back what you throw at me

Everybody wants to be a star
But we don't know just what or who you are
You think that you just lit the world's radar
But, bitch, you pingin' like my grandma's car

Grandma's car
My grandma's car
Grandma's car
You my grandma's car

Yo, yo, yo

© 2024 Funk McPuke

Grandma's Car

GRANDMA'S CAR

A heavy metal fist to the face, this song is for the rabid dog in you. Or maybe it's the theme song of generational trauma. It's 2024, bruh. A song can be two things.

LYRICS:

A smile ain't nothing but teeth
Bars on an empty tomb
A fist ain't nothing but hate
wrapped around a tiny love

Come to me, I'll punish you
Come to me, I'll punish you

I am so sick
I am so sick
I am so sick
I am so sick

A man ain't nothing but meat
beaten 'til he tastes like a man
A fist ain't nothing but love
guided by the primal fear

Come to me, I'll punish you
Come to me, I'll punish you

I am so sick
I am so sick
I am so sick
I am so sick

Turn that smile into a frown
Take the boom, boom, pass it down
Put you back into your place
Break the pieces, leave no trace

Come to me, I'll punish you
Come to me, I'll punish you

I am so sick
I am so sick
I am so sick
I am so sick

I am so sick (sick of you)
I am so sick (sick of you)
I am so sick (sick of you)
I am so sick (sick of you)

Sick of you
I'm sick of you
Sick of you
So sick of you

I am so sick
I am so sick
I am so sick
I am so sick

© 2024 Funk McPuke

Sick

SICK

Sure, the heart wants what the heart wants, but sometimes the heart is stupid. Here's an energetic surf punk song for those times when you're still feeling that toxic person in your life. Cuz ain't that a pisser?

LYRICS:

The road has been rough
and the snows have been driven
But don't worry, darlin'
All is forgiven
All those little things
that I never did see
All the little things
that you did behind me, cuz

I still love you
I still love you
I still love you
I still love you

Remember when our broken hearts
were still open hearts on fire?
Back before I ever thought
one of us should wear a wire?

I gave you a place
where you could run free
You gave me a face
and words to believe
Not one of these words
ever made much sense
I always felt 
so fucking dense, but

I still love you
I still love you
I still love you
I still love you

I never really realized
I ever really had a choice
but if I ever listen close
I always hear a little voice
(it says)

Now 
my love
can fly
away beyond the... 
See 
what you
come to
without me

Every single word 
from your mouth was a lie
Every single story 
you expected me to buy
Every bit of mine 
that you turned into his
And I got to tell you now 
that the fuckin' pisser is

I still love you
I still love you
I still love you
I still love you

I still love you (love you)
I still love you (love you)
I still love you (love you)
I still love you (love you)

© 2024 Funk McPuke

The Pisser

THE PISSER

Anyone else have a complicated relationship with media? On the one hand, I really should be doing things IRL. On the other hand, there's always new stuff to watch on my screens and, bro, I don't want to miss it. Is it hypnosis? Subliminals? A constant tickling tease for the ol' reward center? Idk, but if you feel like getting off the couch, here's a hyper-energetic song about being lost in the parasocial siren song of media brainrot. It's a little bit garage, a little post-hardcore, and a whole lot of fun to scream along to while you bounce off the furniture.

LYRICS:

The darkness comes 
so early these days
Evening just fades away
In dreams of (sex and)
Love is here to stay
Your cycle hums
on wheels made of clay
Pull color from the gray
In dreams of (sex and)
Love you always slay 

But only on TV

Unleash me to another place
Just kiss my nose and slap my face
Put me back into my place
With sex (and love)
and sex (and love)
and sex (and love)
and sex (and love)

Blind and lost
Awake and afraid
You wander through the day
With dreams of (sex and)
Love you find a way
Can't turn it off
Got nothing to say
You wonder if you pray
Your dreams of (sex and)
Love will come to play

But no one’s listening

Unleash me to another place
Just kiss my nose and slap my face
Put me back into my place
With sex (and love)
and sex (and love)
and sex (and love)
and sex (and love)

The sleeping dogs who live with you
On dusty floors in dusty rooms
Are better off awake tonight
Too late to let your sleeping dogs lie

The hatred in a sleeping dog’s eye

Unleash me to another place
Just kiss my nose and slap my face
Put me back into my place
With sex (and love)
and sex (and love)
and sex (and love)
and sex (and love)

Unleash me to another place
Just kiss my nose and slap my face
Put me back into my place
With sex (and love)
and sex (and love)
and sex (and love)
and sex (and love)

Sex and love
Just sex and love
It's sex and love
It's sex 
And love

So much to do
So little time
TV

© 2024 Funk McPuke

Sleeping Dogs

SLEEPING DOGS

This is a rap-flavored blues about money and the lack thereof.

LYRICS:

What do you want?
(Big stacks)
What do you need?
(Big stacks)
What do you want?
(Big stacks)
What do you want?
(Big stacks)

Let me holler for a dollar
Dolls be hot under the collar
For a baller with it all
But not a scholar squat in squalor
So I gotta stack 'em taller
Sack 'em up and pack 'em smaller (facts)
Max my racks, subtract the tax
and count my lady callers, yo

Litty like a titty
But the kid he like the kitty
And the biddies in the city
Got no pity for your boy
Yo, honey's think I'm funny
But then see I got no money
S'when they jump and start to runnin'
Or they stay and act annoyed

So I'm up before dawn
like a dog at his labor, boy 
(Grrr! Come on!)
(Grrr! Come on!)
Just got to keep on 
chasin' that paper, boy
(Grrr! Come on!)
(Grrr! Come on!)

What do you want?
Big stacks!
What do you need?
Big stacks!
Never scrimp and save
Big stacks!
Tell me what you crave
Big stacks!

On the planet like I planned it
I get manic, they can't stand it
I get random with abandon
I'm a band but I'm just one man
It amaze me it still phase me
That my bae she think I'm lazy
When my crazy brain fugazi
And my mind is undermanned, yo

Litty like a titty
But the kid he like the kitty
And the biddies in the city
Got no pity for your boy
Yo, honey's think I'm funny
But then see I got no money
S'when they jump and start to runnin'
Or they stay and act annoyed

So I'm up before dawn
like a dog at his labor, boy 
(Grrr! Come on!)
(Grrr! Come on!)
Just got to keep on 
chasin' that paper, boy
(Grrr! Come on!)
(Grrr! Come on!)

What do you want?
Big stacks!
What do you need?
Big stacks!
Never scrimp and save
Big stacks!
Tell me what you crave
Big stacks!

Yo

So I'm up before dawn
like a dog at his labor, boy 
(Grrr! Come on!)
(Grrr! Come on!)
Just got to keep on 
chasin' that paper, boy
(Grrr! Come on!)
(Grrr! Come on!)

What do you want?
Big stacks!
What do you need?
Big stacks!
Never scrimp and save
Big stacks!
Tell me what you crave
Big stacks!

What do you want?
Big stacks
What do you need?
Big stacks
Never scrimp and save
Big stacks
Tell me what you crave
Big stacks

© 2024 Funk McPuke

Big Stacks

BIG STACKS

Finally leaving that job or relationship that's been holding you back? Or maybe you're just *really* ready for the weekend? Whatever your reason, here's a high-energy surf punk track to help you celebrate.

LYRICS:

Y'all ready?
Let's go!

Burning all my bridges down
I fall down, scream
Just a bad dream
The sun's up, blazing in the sky
The sun's up and so am I

I'm free, I'm free
No more chains
I'm free, I'm free
No more chains

(oh yeah) 
Watch me go, watch me go, watch me go
(oh yeah) 
Watch me go, watch me go, never know

The sun's up, blazing in the sky
Today's the day, no more chains
I can do whatever I please
No more livin' on my knees

I'm free, I'm free
No more chains
I'm free, I'm free
No more chains

(oh yeah) 
Watch me run, watch me run, watch me run
(oh yeah)
Watch me run, watch me run, let's have some fun

Hey! Hey!

Burning all my bridges down
But I don't mind
Leave you behind
You can stay there in your sad flashback
I'm crackin' out this worn out track

I'm free, I'm free
No more chains
I'm free, I'm free
No more chains

(oh yeah) 
Watch me fly, watch me fly, watch me fly
(oh yeah)
Watch me fly, watch me fly, do or die

oh yeah

I'm free, I'm free
oh-oh, oh, oh
I'm free, I'm free
No no, no chains
(oh yeah) 
I'm free, I'm free
No chains on me
(oh yeah) 
I'm free, I'm free
I'M FREE!

oh oh, oh
Let's go!

© 2024 Funk McPuke

No More Chains

NO MORE CHAINS

Hey there, y'all! I'm Funk McPuke, an artist and musician originally from Los Angeles, CA but now living in my own little world.

After being in a bunch of punk and metal bands, I started writing and posting my own music here as a way of journaling feels, processing emotions, having fun with sounds, and annoying my neighbors. I decided early on to always just write whatever I was feeling in the moment and never chase an audience or clicks or clout, the result being that my music is a mix of various styles I like in various balances without any attempt to cater to a particular audience or genre. Depending on the song, you might hear a little punk, metal, grunge, electro, rap, post-hardcore, industrial, or any combination of those and other genres. I like to squish different sounds together and see what happens. If it sounds good, has a catchy hook, and makes me want to either cry or jump on my furniture and break stuff, it gets posted. Soundcloud is my place to play around and have a good time making music I enjoy without overthinking it too much. 

Ymmv. If you like one thing and one thing only -- like, if you're one of those people who believes punk has a uniform or something is "not metal" if it doesn't sound like all the other bands you listen to -- this might not be for you. Or maybe it is. Idk. I'm not the boss of you. Give it a listen and decide for yourself. And, hey, if you don't like one song, try another. You might like that one better.

Either way, I'mma keep writing and posting music for myself. But, y'know, if you find some lyrics you connect with, some hook that makes you bounce around your house, or just something to put on while you FINALLY do those dishes that have been stinking up your kitchen for the past week, then welcome. Even though I'm not chasing an audience, I do love getting messages from people who've connected with something I've made. It makes me feel less alone in the world and, for all those people who've messaged me in the past or will message me in the future, I appreciate you. I truly do. Thanks for stopping by and giving me a listen. I may write this music for myself because I think that's the best way to keep it honest, but I still believe music, like all art, is best when it's shared.

GRANDMA'S CAR

Funk McPuke

Related tracks