Many years ago, on a mushroom-fueled wilderness adventure with friends, we found ourselves in a conversation about the big, obvious thing that sometimes blocks you from being able to see the truth of a situation or, more broadly, stands in the way of you reaching enlightenment (whatever that means for you). The obstacle is right there in front of you, huge and unable to be missed -- like, for instance, a giant moose -- and yet you don't see it. You think the path is clear and you can't understand why you keep running into a big, furry wall (or why that big, furry wall sometimes gets angry and kicks you until you're just a puddle of pudding).

As often happens in these types of late night, mind-altered discussions with groups of friends, we somehow landed on the phrase "move your moose" -- as in "you have to learn to move your moose, whatever that might be for you, out of the way so you can see the path ahead and reach [insert goal here]." For some reason, that phrase always stuck with me. And, since I've been listening to a lot of Mr. Bungle lately (if you haven't, do yourself a favor), I decided to get a little weird with it today. Admittedly, I didn't go crazy hard into the Bungle paint, but I sprinkled it onto my own thing like a little seasoning. I hope you enjoy the result. 

LYRICS:

Thanks, wrapped in bacon
Nailed to a tree
Placed upon a pedestal
Tear your bloody heart out
Split divinity
Looking up, you take the fall

Princely pauper, play the fool
Six paces in a solo duel
Seven, if you count the dead
Now warm the bullet in your head

I can’t see
When you’re in front of me
So get the fuck out the way
And move your moose
I can’t see
When you’re in front of me
So get the fuck out the way
And move your moose

I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t
I can’t I can’t I can’t I can't

Suck inspiration
Smile and hold it in (your breath)
Exhale and you’ve blown it all
Tear your bloody heart out
Don’t smile at me again
Without ground, you miss the fall

Princely pauper, play the fool
Six people in a swimming pool
Seven, if you count the dead
Now count the voices in your head

I can’t see
When you’re in front of me
So get the fuck out the way
And move your moose
I can’t see
When you’re in front of me
So get the fuck out the way
And move your moose

I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t
I can’t I can’t I can’t I can't

Princely pauper, play the fool
Six paces in a solo duel
Seven, if you count the dead
Now warm the bullet in your head

I can’t see
When you’re in front of me
So get the fuck out the way
And move your moose
I can’t see
When you’re in front of me
So get the fuck out the way
And move your moose

I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t
I can’t I can’t I can’t I can't

Move your moose
Come on, move your moose
You got to move your moose
You've got to, you've got to

You've got to move your moose
Come on and move that moose
Your sacred goal, take control
Make a hole and move your moose!

© 2025 Funk McPuke

Move Your Moose

MOVE YOUR MOOSE

Hey there, y'all! I'm Funk McPuke, an artist and musician originally from Los Angeles, CA but now living in my own little world.

After being in a bunch of punk and metal bands, I started writing and posting my own music here as a way of journaling feels, processing emotions, having fun with sounds, and annoying my neighbors. I decided early on to always just write whatever I was feeling in the moment and never chase an audience or clicks or clout, the result being that my music is a mix of various styles I like in various balances without any attempt to cater to a particular audience or genre. Depending on the song, you might hear a little punk, metal, grunge, electro, rap, post-hardcore, industrial, or any combination of those and other genres. I like to squish different sounds together and see what happens. If it sounds good, has a catchy hook, and makes me want to either cry or jump on my furniture and break stuff, it gets posted. Soundcloud is my place to play around and have a good time making music I enjoy without overthinking it too much. 

Ymmv. If you like one thing and one thing only -- like, if you're one of those people who believes punk has a uniform or something is "not metal" if it doesn't sound like all the other bands you listen to -- this might not be for you. Or maybe it is. Idk. I'm not the boss of you. Give it a listen and decide for yourself. And, hey, if you don't like one song, try another. You might like that one better.

Either way, I'mma keep writing and posting music for myself. But, y'know, if you find some lyrics you connect with, some hook that makes you bounce around your house, or just something to put on while you FINALLY do those dishes that have been stinking up your kitchen for the past week, then welcome. Even though I'm not chasing an audience, I do love getting messages from people who've connected with something I've made. It makes me feel less alone in the world and, for all those people who've messaged me in the past or will message me in the future, I appreciate you. I truly do. Thanks for stopping by and giving me a listen. I may write this music for myself because I think that's the best way to keep it honest, but I still believe music, like all art, is best when it's shared.