Okay, let's slow things down a little... like, to geologic time. Srsly, though, my mom just passed away recently so, y'know, I've been in my head a bit. This slower, more piano-driven track is a little different than my usual thing here but I'm not really chasing an algo or (no offense) an audience. I'm mostly writing and posting these songs for me. If you like 'em too, though, then... well, thanks. I appreciate ya.

LYRICS:

I haven't moved in years
Been sitting sad and still
Can't even squeeze out tears
Not sure I ever will
The hours beat me down
The time, it ticks away
Eroding life from me
Day by day by day

A fossil in the making
Inside, my stone heart breaking

Look into my eyes
Deep inside I'm paralyzed
Feel like I'm made of stone
(Made of stone)
Crumbling away
Less of me every day
Beat down from skin and bone
Made of stone
Made of stone

A ghost among the ruins
I'm rooted to the floor
A faded memory
of life that came before
Days and nights begin to blur
The shadows stay unlit
How many years? Can't be sure
I sit and sit and sit

A fossil in the making
Inside, my stone heart breaking

Look into my eyes
Deep inside I'm paralyzed
Feel like I'm made of stone
(Made of stone)
Crumbling away
Less of me every day
Beat down from skin and bone
Made of stone
Made of stone

Oh no
No no no no
The future I've been shown
This dust was once a stone

Look into my eyes
Deep inside I'm paralyzed
Feel like I'm made of stone
(Made of stone)
Crumbling away
Less of me every day
Beat down from skin and bone
Made of stone
Made of stone

Made of stone
Made of stone
Made of stone
I'm made of stone

© 2024 Funk McPuke

Made of Stone

MADE OF STONE

A quietly catchy alt rock track about feeling like an alien in a world full of humans.

LYRICS:

I'm a thing, I'm a thing, I'm a thing
A thing from another world
I'm a thing, I'm a thing, I'm a thing
A thing from another world

What are you feeling each time you see me?
How can you even think nothing is wrong?
Not sure there's even anyone out there
Don't hear me stutter, no, singing my songs
You know I'm hiding when I don't have to
Your eyes are filled up with stars and swirls
I broke your braincase and I broke your backbone
Yo, I'm just a thing from another world

Please stop hiding from me
I'm not hiding from you
Where you going to run now, run now?
Are you trying to leave?
I'm not letting you leave
Only way to be sure

Why am I chasing this broken prey now?
Is it a hunger or dependency?
I might be sad or just so lonely
That's why I copy everything I see
Am I the hero or am I the monster?
I'll let you guess 'til the credits unfurl
But I should warn you it'll be too late then
Cuz I'm just a thing from another world

Please stop hiding from me
I'm not hiding from you
Where you going to run now, run now?
Are you trying to leave?
I'm not letting you leave
Only way to be sure

It's inside of me

I'm a thing, I'm a thing, I'm a thing
A thing from another world
I'm a thing, I'm a thing, I'm a thing
A thing from another world

Can you even tell that I'm inside you?
Dance like a puppet while I make you twirl
I tried to warn you but it's way too late
And now you're just a thing from another world

Please stop hiding from me
I'm not hiding from you
Where you going to run now, run now?
Are you trying to leave?
I'm not letting you leave
Only way to be sure

Please stop hiding from me
I'm not hiding from you
Where you going to run now, run now?
Are you trying to leave?
I'm not letting you leave
Only way to be sure

Please stop hiding
I'm not hiding
Only way to be sure
Please stop trying
I'm not dying
There's no way to be cured

© 2024 Funk McPuke

Thing From Another World

THING FROM ANOTHER WORLD

Anyone else have a complicated relationship with media? On the one hand, I really should be doing things IRL. On the other hand, there's always new stuff to watch on my screens and, bro, I don't want to miss it. Is it hypnosis? Subliminals? A constant tickling tease for the ol' reward center? Idk, but if you feel like getting off the couch, here's a hyper-energetic song about being lost in the parasocial siren song of media brainrot. It's a little bit garage, a little post-hardcore, and a whole lot of fun to scream along to while you bounce off the furniture.

LYRICS:

The darkness comes 
so early these days
Evening just fades away
In dreams of (sex and)
Love is here to stay
Your cycle hums
on wheels made of clay
Pull color from the gray
In dreams of (sex and)
Love you always slay 

But only on TV

Unleash me to another place
Just kiss my nose and slap my face
Put me back into my place
With sex (and love)
and sex (and love)
and sex (and love)
and sex (and love)

Blind and lost
Awake and afraid
You wander through the day
With dreams of (sex and)
Love you find a way
Can't turn it off
Got nothing to say
You wonder if you pray
Your dreams of (sex and)
Love will come to play

But no one’s listening

Unleash me to another place
Just kiss my nose and slap my face
Put me back into my place
With sex (and love)
and sex (and love)
and sex (and love)
and sex (and love)

The sleeping dogs who live with you
On dusty floors in dusty rooms
Are better off awake tonight
Too late to let your sleeping dogs lie

The hatred in a sleeping dog’s eye

Unleash me to another place
Just kiss my nose and slap my face
Put me back into my place
With sex (and love)
and sex (and love)
and sex (and love)
and sex (and love)

Unleash me to another place
Just kiss my nose and slap my face
Put me back into my place
With sex (and love)
and sex (and love)
and sex (and love)
and sex (and love)

Sex and love
Just sex and love
It's sex and love
It's sex 
And love

So much to do
So little time
TV

© 2024 Funk McPuke

Sleeping Dogs

SLEEPING DOGS

This spooky season, let this Halloween-inspired surf punk track sink its fangs into your thangs.

LYRICS:

I'm a monster
I'm a monster

Big paws, long claws
True fear, watch you run away
See red, you're dead
Run home, hide your head and pray

Fist clench, get hench
Doesn't matter cuz I don't flinch

I'm a beast, you're the feast
I'm a monster (monster)
I'm a monster chasing you
In the night, feel the fright
I'm a monster (monster)
I'm a monster, you know it's true

You're the meat, time to eat
I'm a monster (monster)
I'm a monster with hunger pangs
Late at night, feel the bite
I'm a monster
I sink my fangs into your thangs

I'm a monster

You sleep, I creep
Nightmares are your only dreams
Get out (don't shout) don't shout
Nothing is what it seems

My brain, deranged
Everything is very strange

I'm a beast, you're the feast
I'm a monster (monster)
I'm a monster chasing you
In the night, feel the fright
I'm a monster (monster)
I'm a monster, you know it's true

You're the meat, time to eat
I'm a monster (monster)
I'm a monster with hunger pangs
Late at night, feel the bite
I'm a monster
I sink my fangs into your thangs

I'm a monster

Let's eat!

One, two, three, four
What's that scratching at your door?
Four, five, six, seven
Let me in and go to heaven

Moonlight, you fight
Doesn't matter you still feel the bite

I'm a beast, you're the feast
I'm a monster (monster)
I'm a monster chasing you
In the night, feel the fright
I'm a monster (monster)
I'm a monster, you know it's true

You're the meat, time to eat
I'm a monster (monster)
I'm a monster with hunger pangs
Late at night, feel the bite
I'm a monster
I sink my fangs into your thangs

I'm a monster

I'm a monster
(monster)
Baby, I'm a monster
(monster)
You know that I'm a monster
(monster)
Can't run from this here monster
(monster)
Get ready for this monster

Baby, I'm your monster

© 2024 Funk McPuke

Monster

Buy MONSTER on iTunes!

MONSTER

This one's got a heavier sound that I like, though I still lean toward my surf punk vibes more than anything. But, every once in a while, you need to get your hard rock ya-yas out.

LYRICS:

I never wanted it to be
I never wanted it to be like that
I never wanted it to be
I never wanted it to be like that

Sometimes my brain is broke
I know you feel it too
A thing we never spoke
But your silence tells the truth
The right words make me choke
The wrong ones push right through
Man, I wish it was a joke
Wish I knew what I could do

But I don't
And I can't
So I won't
Let me rant

I never wanted it to be
I never wanted it to be like that
I never wanted it to be
I never wanted it to be like that

Sometimes I cry all night
Sometimes I just feel numb
Sometimes I feel too smart
Sometimes I feel so dumb
I think back to our time
I remember every word
I run them back again, again
Even ones I never heard

But I don't
And I can't
So I won't
Let me rant

I never wanted it to be
I never wanted it to be like that
I never wanted it to be
I never wanted it to be like that

My reflection
staring back at me
No direction
Losing track of me
In sections
Still more cracks I see
A collection
of backs turned to me

I need to wake up

But I can't
And I don't
wanna rant
So I won't

I never wanted it to be
I never wanted it to be like that
I never wanted it to be
I never wanted it to be like that
I never wanted it to be
I never wanted it to be like that
I never wanted it to be
I never wanted it to be like that

I never wanted it
to be
like
this

© 2024 Funk McPuke

Never Wanted It

Buy on iTunes

NEVER WANTED IT

A slightly surreal journey inside, where the sad truth waits to confront the brave. Or just an alt-rock song with a catchy riff. It's whatever you want it to be.

LYRICS:

I stepped in puddles, found them steep
I fell in fast, I fell asleep
I looked inside, I looked in deep
And there I found a hidden weeping eye

A weeping eye

I peeked and poked around for fun
And there I found another one
As something slowly came undone
I stared into that lonely weeping eye

A weeping eye
The weeping eye

The weeping eye that cries inside
In shadowed thoughts and lies denied
The weeping eye is flowing free
It's drowning everything I see

It's drowning everything in me

I suddenly began to sink
Into the eye, and in a blink
I found that I began to think
Surrounded by that giant weeping eye

Weeping eye
The weeping eye

The weeping eye that cries inside
In shadowed thoughts and lies denied
The weeping eye is flowing free
It's drowning everything I see

It's drowning everything in me

Up above where skies are blue
A golden sun is shining through
Happy children laugh and play
And it's always been this way
But underneath a fragile shell
It's all cold and dark as hell
They never ask, I never tell
And I've learned to mask it well

I sat in cold, I sat in dark
And suddenly I had a spark
A dusty laugh began to bark
And then I understood that weeping eye

Weeping eye
The weeping eye

The weeping eye that cries inside
In shadowed thoughts and lies denied
The weeping eye is flowing free
It's drowning everything I see

It's drowning everything in me

The weeping eye
The weeping eye
Just let it cry
The weeping eye
The weeping eye
The weeping eye
I don't know why
Feels like I'll die

© 2024 Funk McPuke

Weeping Eye

WEEPING EYE

Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean you're wrong. Of course, it doesn't mean you're right either. Sometimes, you can get in your own way and fumble the bag through an unforced error. Especially if you mistake your paranoia for a superpower. You know what is a superpower though? Self-awareness.

LYRICS:


Can you hear me knocking?
I know that you hear me talking
Why do you keep me waiting?
Always anticipating?

I will break your house down
I can't love you 'cuz I'm

Superparanoid
And I'm sure that you avoid me
(Me! Me! Me!)
Superparanoid
And I'm sure that you'll destroy me
(Me! Me! Me!)

Can you hear me knocking?
I know that you hear me talking
Why do you keep me waiting?
Can't you feel me hating?

I will break your heart now
I can't love you 'cuz I'm

Superparanoid
And I'm sure that you avoid me
(Me! Me! Me!)
Superparanoid
And I'm sure that you'll destroy me
(Me! Me! Me!)

Are all these fears just in my mind?
Or maybe, baby, I'm just blind?
I'm searching so hard for the signs
Listen only if it's unkind
My fear is undefined
So clear but unrefined
All mine, but lost in time
A line without a rhyme

I will burn it all down
I can't love you 'cuz I'm

Superparanoid
And I'm sure that you avoid me
(Me! Me! Me!)
Superparanoid
And I'm sure that you'll destroy me
(Me! Me! Me!)

Avoid me (avoid me)
Destroy me (destroy me)
Deceive me (deceive me)
Don't leave me (don't leave me)
Stop faking (stop faking)
I'm breaking (heart aching)
You bend it (I break it)
Let's end it (can't take it)

Can't take it
Can't take it
Can't take it
CAN'T TAKE IT!

© 2024 Funk McPuke

Superparanoid

Buy on iTunes!

SUPERPARANOID

I may believe in evolution, but that doesn't mean I believe we've actually evolved. Underneath the fancy clothing, elaborate traditions, smart gadgets, and self-inflated sense of our place in the universe, we're still just animals moving in packs and herds, mimicking the behaviors of those within our own group while judging and fighting those in others. Srsly tho, can I have a banana? Eek, eek.

LYRICS:

Oh-oh, ah-ah ah-ah-ah

Why do people lose themselves
(Monkey see and monkey do)
When brand new jeans are on the shelves?
(Monkey see and monkey do)

Everything's wrong
Even this song
I just don't belong

Monkey see and monkey do
Monkey see and monkey do
Sing along, you know it's true
Monkey see (AND MONKEY DO!)

Monkey monkey monkey
Monkey

Why do people cease to look
(Monkey see and monkey do)
Just 'cuz they read it in a book?
(Monkey see and monkey do)

Everything's wrong
Even this song
I just don't belong

Monkey see and monkey do
Monkey see and monkey do
Sing along, you know it's true
Monkey see (AND MONKEY DO!)

Monkey monkey monkey
Monkey

The miracle makers have made you a myth
Follow their trends right over a cliff
Or turn around and maybe if...
Monkey see, monkey do

Dance, monkey!

DANCE, MONKEY!

Why do people always fight
(Monkey see and monkey do)
To turn their wrongs into a right?
(Monkey see and monkey do)

Everything's wrong
Even this song
I just don't belong

Monkey see and monkey do
Monkey see and monkey do
Sing along, you know it's true
Monkey see (AND MONKEY DO!)

Monkey monkey monkey
Monkey!

You're a monkey
(You're a monkey)
We're all monkeys
(Pretty monkeys)
Dancing monkeys
(Just a monkey)
Monkey monkey monkey monkey
(Don't be a monkey)
DON'T BE A MONKEY!

©2025 Funk McPuke

Monkey See

MONKEY SEE

Been listening to a lot of Sabrina Fuentes' band, Pretty Sick, lately, and I really like the dark, dreamy, droning NY vibe of their songs. Then I started wondering what it would sound like to take a little bit of that vibe and mix it with my usual, more aggressive style. Well, this is what it would sound like. 

LYRICS:

Big fat!

Check me, bro, on that app
Hit me up on that chat
Pick me up on the next lap
Then drop me off when you get back home
(Get back home)
Show me where your depth at
Teach me slang, you hep cat
Know ye where the boys at?
Keep 'em in your big fat phone
(Big fat phone)

Big fat!

I was born today
Don't know what to do

Looking for a fate
I was looking for a few
I need to find a foot
That fits my other shoe
Don't know what to say
And I don't know what you see
Don't know who to do
And I don't know what to be

Check me, bro, on that app
Hit me up on that chat
Pick me up on the next lap
Then drop me off when you get back home
(Get back home)
Show me where your depth at
Teach me slang, you hep cat
Know ye where the boys at?
Keep 'em in your big fat phone
(Big fat phone)

Big fat!

I can't get away
Every shape is you

Looking for a love
Or at least a healthy bang
Go eat another slug
If you get my stealthy slang
Don't know who's to say
And I don't know who to see
Don't know who to do
And I don't know who to be

Big fat!

Check me, bro, on that app
Hit me up on that chat
Pick me up on the next lap
Then drop me off when you get back home
(Get back home)
Show me where your depth at
Teach me slang, you hep cat
Know ye where the boys at?
Keep 'em in your big fat phone
(Big fat phone)

Big fat!

BIG FAT!

Big fat phone (big fat phone)
Big fat phone (big fat phone)
Big fat phone (big fat phone)
BIG FAT PHONE!

Big fat

© 2025 Funk McPuke

Big Fat Phone

Buy on Apple/iTunes!

BIG FAT PHONE

I'm enjoying getting crunchy with some electro sprinkled over my punk (and whatever else I feel like making). This particular track is for those days when you feel like a walking red flag.

LYRICS:

Please go, run away
You know I'll bring you down
Please go, run away
You know I'll bring you down
Please go, run away
You know I'll bring you down

I'll tell you now just what I really want from you
You said you want to know
I'm feeling sick and I know you feel it too
Time's up, about to blow
Tornado thoughts, I'm really struggling
Blown away, just watch the show
And when I drop the balls that I'm juggling
I'm falling down, I am crashing down
and no one knows

Please go, run away
You know I'll bring you down
Please go, run away
You know I'll bring you down

Hit the wall when I'm driving at the fastest speed
Then turn around and drive away
Know I should stop, just give it up, and walk from here
But I can't, there's nothing left to say
Here I go, watch me burn down everything
I stand in ashes and I try to breathe
Sure I know what I'm doing to myself and you
I'm falling down, I am crashing down
still can't believe

Down, I will bring you
Down, I will bring you
Down, I will bring you
Down, I will bring you down

I showed you all the things in my mind (ahh)
I know that what I'm asking's unkind
But it's best if I just let you go (go)
And stay here to reap what I sow
One, two, three, WOO!

Please go, run away (Please go)
You know I'll bring you down
Please go, run away (Please go)
You know I'll bring you down
Please go, run away (Please go)
You know I'll bring you down

Please go, please go, please go
Down, I will bring you
Down, I will bring you
Down, I will bring you
Down, I will bring you
Down

© 2025 Funk McPuke

Bring You Down

Buy on Apple/iTunes

BRING YOU DOWN

Inside of you, there's an insidious little voice that whispers things you don't want to hear about yourself. The worst part? You think it's your friend. You think it's protecting you from looking foolish, from being hurt, or feeling disappointed. That voice is lying to you. That voice is the devil on your shoulder and all it's doing is stopping you from living and from being the person you were meant to be. Even worse, that voice is you. You're doing it to yourself. Stop listening to that voice. 

But do listen to this song. Please and thank you.

LYRICS:

I am the new son
I am the way
I am the one you think of when you mourn your day
I am the reason
I am the light
I am the one you think of when you're dead inside

I am the demon
I am the demon
I am the demon that you keep so deep inside
I am the demon
I am the demon
I am the demon and from me you cannot hide

Oh, no, no (I am the one)
Oh, no, no (I am the one)
Oh, no, no (I am the one)
Oh, no, no

I bring the morning
I bring the night
I bring the terror that will make you fight or flight
I tell the hard truth
I tell the lies
I tell you when you're wrong and why I'm not surprised

I am the demon
I am the demon
I am the demon that you keep so deep inside
I am the demon
I am the demon
I am the demon and from me you cannot hide

No, no, no (I am the one)
No, no, no (I am the one)
No, no, no (I am the one)
No, no, no (I am the one)

Then one day, you break the waves
Feel the sunlight on your face
Take a breath and hold it in
You'll never feel my grip again
You struggled hard but now you're free
How proud of you now you must be
You rose above, refused to drown
But then I'm back to drag you down

I am the secret
I am surprise
But only unexpected if you tell yourself those lies
I'm in the mirror
You know it's true
Keep pointing fingers but I'm born inside of you

I am the demon
I am the demon
I am the demon that you keep so deep inside
I am the demon
I am the demon
I am the demon and from me you cannot...

No, no, no (I am the one)
No, no, no (I am the one)
No, no, no (I am the one)
Oh, no, no

I am the one
I am the one
Nowhere to run
I am the one

I am the one
I am the one
Let's have some fun
I am the one

Did I make you?
Did you make me?
Doesn't matter now
You already set me free

© 2025 Funk McPuke

I Am The Demon

I AM THE DEMON

Things don't always work out. Sure, some things might work for a little while -- maybe they're even good -- and then they don't. And you know what? That's okay. Whether it's a person, a group of friends, a situation, or a state of mind, sometimes you just need to let it all go and float on. I mean, if you only get one life, is this really how you want to spend it?

LYRICS:

Push it open
Tear it open
You’re alive and free
and just passing through

Rip it open
Burn the skin
Take a taste and leave
your mark if you want to

Channels changing, found the groove
A certain something, me and you
Kiss so softly in the night
We found the words and held on

Tight

Push it open
Tear it open
Leave the rest behind
and float back to the sea

Rip it open
Taste the skin
Leave the rest behind
I burn the stench you leave

Channels changing, found the groove
A certain something, me and you
Kiss so softly in the night
We found the words and held on

Tight

Not everything is meant to be
Not everything can be foreseen
If everything should fall away
I have nothing left to say

Push it open
Tear it open
Leave the rest behind
I burn the stench you leave

Rip it open
Taste the skin
Leave the rest behind
and float back to the sea

Channels changing, found the groove
A certain something, me and you
Kiss so softly in the night
We found the words and held on

Tight

Tight
That's right
Held on tight
Despite
The fight
It's not enough
Tonight
Tonight
It's not enough tonight

© 2025 Funk McPuke

Floater

FLOATER

It doesn't matter how hard you want to believe something is true if it isn't. Sometimes you just have to open your eyes and see the thing for what it really is and yourself for who you really are. It might hurt, it might suck, but it's better than continuing to lie to yourself.

LYRICS:

Remember the way
we said we'd always feel
Now I know
that that was never real

No, that was never real

It's all so far away
but still I'm thinking back
Now my only hope
is soon I will lose track

Stop wishing to go back

Cuz it's gone, gone, gone gone gone
Gone, gone, gone gone gone

The dream is dead (it was never real)
All in your head (it was never real)
The things we were (it was never real)
The masks are burned (it was never real)

It was never real

Remember the people
we said we were inside
Now I know
that we were telling lies

Yo, it was all a lie

Now it's fallen away
The dream ain't coming back
Hold out hope but nope
This train is off the track

Just let us fade to black

Cuz it's gone, gone, gone gone gone
Gone, gone, gone gone gone

The dream is dead (it was never real)
All in your head (it was never real)
The things we were (it was never real)
The masks are burned (it was never real)

The lie was sweet, it looked so nice
We fooled ourselves, not once but twice
Painted each other as someone else
Believed the myth, despite ourselves
But any eye could see the tells
We promised heaven, delivered hell
Called it brave, we called it free
But we were the enemy

Now it's gone, gone, gone gone gone
Gone, gone, gone gone gone

The dream is dead (it was never real)
All in your head (it was never real)
The things we were (it was never real)
The masks are burned (it was never real)

Never real (it was never real)
How do you feel? (it was never real)
We're going down (it was never real)
Ready to drown? (it was never real)

The worst part? (it was never real)
The broken heart (it was never real)
In the end (it was never real)
We were never friends

It was never real

© 2025 Funk McPuke

Never Real

NEVER REAL

How did we get here? Here's how.

LYRICS:

Sound the alarm, this is a test
I do no harm, you know me best
But in this case, we might be cooked
My better self been overlooked

I'll be your vault, you be mine
Keeping secrets? Always fine
Still good people, you'll see
Bleeding smile, believe in me

Right or wrong just sing this song
All you need is to belong

If you love me
(Back me up!)
Lord above me, back me
(Back me up!)
Doing damage, back me
(Back me up!)
Help me manage
(Back me up!)
Yeah, I'm lying
(Back me up!)
Not even trying
(Back me up!)
Let's be twinsies
(Back me up!)
Feeding frenzy
(Back me up!)

Just back! Back! Back!
Back me up

Did I fake it? You found me out
Still I'm wounded you had your doubts
Never question my means to ends
Is that a way to treat a friend?

But don't be hasty, see my views
Winning's easy, a beast don't lose
Break some faces, build some bars
We'll take from them, so we get ours

Right or wrong just sing this song
All you need is to belong

If you love me
(Back me up!)
Lord above me, back me
(Back me up!)
Doing damage, back me
(Back me up!)
Help me manage
(Back me up!)
Yeah, I'm lying
(Back me up!)
Not even trying
(Back me up!)
Let's be twinsies
(Back me up!)
Feeding frenzy
(Back me up!)

Back! Back! Back! Back!
Back me up

One lie, two lies, three lies, four
Does it matter? Tell some more
Flow with hatred, feel your greed
Do whatever, fuel your need

Fool the masses, use their trust
It's apocalypse or bust
From outta sight, where shadow's kept
Into the light, let's LOCK IN STEP!

Nothing bad has ever come
from shutting up and going along

If you love me
(Back me up!)
Lord above me, back me
(Back me up!)
Doing damage, back me
(Back me up!)
Help me manage
(Back me up!)
Yeah, I'm lying
(Back me up!)
Not even trying
(Back me up!)
Let's be twinsies
(Back me up!)
Feeding frenzy
(Back me up!)

ATTACK-TACK-TACK!
Back me up!

Back me up!
Just back me up!
Don't ask, don't tell
Just back me up!

Back me up!
Don't jack me up
Let's raise some hell
NOW BACK ME UP!

© 2025 Funk McPuke

Back Me Up

Buy on Apple Music

BACK ME UP

As a great guitarist from Seattle once sang, "All in all is all we all are."

LYRICS:

In my little room this Spring
There's nothing, there's everything
The silence I hear when I sing
It's nothing, it's everything
I wake myself into a dream
Find nothing, find everything
My mind calls, I just let it ring
I'm nothing, I'm everything

I wanna swallow you
I'm gonna swallow you
I wanna swallow you
Whole
I wanna swallow you
I'm gonna swallow you
I wanna swallow you
Hole

Hey

In my little head this Fall
There's nothing, except for all
Sitting down but walking tall
I'm nothing, but still I'm all
A room without surrounding walls
Have nothing, collecting all
Getting bigger, staying small
We're nothing, but yet we're all

I wanna swallow you
I'm gonna swallow you
I wanna swallow you
Whole
I wanna swallow you
I'm gonna swallow you
I wanna swallow you
Hole

The universe is dark and light
It's on and off, it's wrong and right
It's here, it's there, it's seen, unseen
It's this and that, and all between
It's magical but still mundane
It's always different and still the same
Sit still, let it swallow you
For good or bad, that's up to you
It doesn't care which one you choose

It doesn't care which one you choose

In my little world this Summer
Getting smarter, sounding dumber
Feel so happy, it's a bummer
Yeah I'm smarter, still I'm dumber
Feeling more but getting number
Thinking smarter, talking dumber
Am I the strings or just a strummer?
I am smarter because I'm dumber

I wanna swallow you
I'm gonna swallow you
I wanna swallow you
Whole
I wanna swallow you
I'm gonna swallow you
I'm gonna swallow you
Hole

I'm gonna swallow

I'm gonna swallow you
Here I come to swallow you
Just watch me swallow you
I'll swallow you
Whole, whole, whole
I wanna swallow you
Just let me swallow you
Breathe deep, I swallow you
Hole

In my little head this Winter
Thoughts arriving, none may enter
The universe is just a splinter
Pluck it out, don't let it enter

© 2025 Funk McPuke

Swallow

SWALLOW

Not every track needs to have a deep meaning or center around beating ourselves up. Sometimes it's okay to just have fun. I've been drumming a lot lately, so these lyrics popped into my head and I just had fun with it. Maybe you will too. And continuing my experiments with smashing different sounds together, this one's a little electronic, a little grunge, a little rap, and a little punk. And, y'know, honestly, I think it's a good time.

LYRICS:

Jump off!

The Riddler on Ritalin
Up on my roof I'm fiddlin'
These crazy rhymes, I fit 'em in
Mad syllables, I get 'em in
Bash this old drum kit, I been
Bangin' like a fitted skin
Bass is loaded, hit 'em in
Tasty rolls with cinnamon

Drum crash, boom bash
Fist clench, teeth gnash
Don't flinch, let's smash
Get hench, grab cash

Let me rock you with this beat beat beat beat beat
I burn it down, you bring the heat heat heat heat
Let me cook I'll watch you eat eat eat eat eat
Lend me your ears and I'll move your feet

Move your feet, just move your feet
Move your feet, c'mon move your feet
The song is done but it ain't complete
Until it drops and you move your feet

You middlin' like middlemen
Wastin' words, start whittlin'
Big time, you belittlin'
Stop buggin', bro, you skitterin'

Poppin' like I'm vitamins
Chimein' loud like Bigger Ben
Tastin' rainbows, skittlin'
Grim Reaper came, I did him in

Big bang, ding dang
So hung, can't hang
No lung, still sang
You rang? Gang gang!

Let me rock you with this beat beat beat beat beat
I burn it down, you bring the heat heat heat heat
Let me cook I'll watch you eat eat eat eat eat
Lend me your ears and I'll move your feet

Move your feet, just move your feet
Move your feet, c'mon move your feet
The song is done but it ain't complete
Until it drops and you move your feet

This ratchet lit my match
Natch I'm blowin' the hatch
Appetite for destruction? 
Man, I'm bakin' a batch
The secret to seduction
Yo, I always be snatched
I take the full deduction
But there's always a catch

Let me rock you with this beat beat beat beat beat
I burn it down, you bring the heat heat heat heat
Let me cook I'll watch you eat eat eat eat eat
Lend me your ears and I'll move your feet

Move your feet, just move your feet
Move your feet, c'mon move your feet
The song is done but it ain't complete
Until it drops and you move your feet

© 2025 Funk McPuke

Move Your Feet

MOVE YOUR FEET

This is a high-velocity, melodic track about the end that comes for us all. It's catchy af though and fun to sing along to so, really, you don't have to think about that aspect of it if you don't want to. Just bounce around your house, sing some harmonies on the chorus, and have a good time with it. Because, y'know, the end is coming for you. So, hey, enjoy your brief moment in the sun while you can. And, if I do say so myself, this track is a good way to spend a few minutes. 

LYRICS:

Black and revolving
The Nothing evolving
Does that ring a bell?

Too late to fight now
It’s going on right now
Within every cell

And it’s not the point
Where you are today
Don’t get too comfortable
The future’s just a breath away

A naked singularity
Bearing down on you and me

Intrinsic
We were born to die
Decay
Stare it in the eye

We’re gone

Mirrored creation
Reverse radiation
The angle descended

Past-tensely peaking
The ultimate tweaking
Physicality’s ended

And it’s not the point
Where you are today
Don’t get too comfortable
The future’s just a breath away

A naked singularity
Bearing down on you and me

Intrinsic
We were born to die
Decay
Stare it in the eye

We’re gone

And it’s not the point
Where you are today
Don’t get too comfortable
The future’s just a breath away

A naked singularity
Bearing down on you and me

Intrinsic
We were born to die
Decay
Stare it in the eye

We’re gone

We're gone
We're gone
We're gone, gone, gone
We're gone
This is the end (we're gone)
This is the end (we're gone)
This is the end, end end
This is the end

We're gone

© 2025 Funk McPuke

Black

BLACK

I've been in my electro/EDM bag a lot lately, but today I'm in the mood to bring a little metal back into the mix. This still has some extra flavors on it -- you know how I like to do -- but it's a little harder rocking than most of my recent tracks. If you found me through "Swallow," this might feel like a big shift for you. But, hey, I go where the muse takes me. Follow if you dare.

LYRICS:

Put it out, just take a crack
Offer love to get it back
Open heart and open mind
Still it happens every time

I've always known
I'm in this alone

Unwanted, my love denied
I'm stunted, left dead inside
Feel hunted, never my turn
Confronted, I never learn

Unwanted hearts always crash and burn

Love is free or so they say
But not for me, I always pay
Build me up then break me down
Take my hand then let me drown

I've never known
A love that has grown

Unwanted, my love denied
I'm stunted, left dead inside
Feel hunted, never my turn
Confronted, I never learn

Unwanted hearts always crash and burn

It's better to have loved and lost
It's worth the price despite the cost
There is no gain without the pain
Can't feel the sun without the rain
There's someone made for everyone
Don't try so hard, just have some fun
These are all the things they say
But my world doesn't work that way

I've always known
I'm in this alone

Unwanted, my love denied
I'm stunted, left dead inside
Feel hunted, never my turn
Confronted, I never learn

Unwanted hearts always crash and burn

When it's your turn (unwanted)
Just let it burn (unwanted)
Don't ever learn (unwanted)
Just love the scars you've earned

Let it break you
The pain unmake you
When all forsake you
Then let the darkness take you

The dark will always take you

Unwanted

© 2025 Funk McPuke

Unwanted

UNWANTED

It's not that I don't see the red flags when I'm just about to start dating the wrong person. There's just some weird part of my brain that goes, "Nah, I'm sure it's fine" and slides off the bad stuff while overly magnifying the good stuff. 

Once, I even convinced myself that a woman wasn't actually as shallow and self-centered as she seemed to be when I met her and that she was instead just doing an extended, Sarah Silverman-ish comedy bit. I thought, "Wow, she's really funny." Well, as it eventually became apparent, she wasn't doing a bit. That "character" was her right down to her core, but it was like my brain hypnotized me into looking everywhere except right at the truth.

Idk why that part of my judgement shuts off when it does. One day I hope to sort that out so I can stop ending up tied to the wrong people for way too long. Until then, here's a fun, fast-paced, and catchy hard rock song to jump around the house to. And, hey, if you're also a little colorblind when it comes to seeing red flags, feel free to scream along. Maybe if we repeat it enough to ourselves, the truth will sink in and eventually set us free.  

LYRICS:

I'm in love
Found the one
I know that it's true
True
Then it turned
No surprise
I already knew
Knew

Saw it right away
The dark inside
Still I chose to stay
Let me roll the dice
My heart lies

Throw darts, try to hurt me
Gas light and pervert me
I know you'll desert me
When I see red flags I look away
Come on, test and try me
Your nails crucify me
You smile while I'm crying
But I see red flags and look away

Reaching out
Once again
You push me away
Way
Barricade
You shut me out 
Every day
Day

I should let you go
And just move on
Don't want to be alone
But then it dawns
You're already gone

Throw darts, try to hurt me
Gas light and pervert me
I know you'll desert me
When I see red flags I look away
Come on, test and try me
Your nails crucify me
You smile while I'm crying
But I see red flags and look away

Saw it right away
The dark inside
Still I chose to stay
Had to roll the dice
Cuz my heart lies

Throw darts, try to hurt me
Gas light and pervert me
I know you'll desert me
When I see red flags I look away
Come on, test and try me
Your nails crucify me
You smile while I'm crying
But I see red flags and look away

You smile while I'm crying
But I see red flags and look away

Throw darts (I still love you)
Dead hearts (I still love you)
Gas light (I still love you)
Every flag is red, just look away
Break me (I still love you)
Break me (I still love you)
Kill me (I still love you)

Cuz when the flags are red I look away

© 2025 Funk McPuke

Red Flags

RED FLAGS

Unless this is the first song of mine you've stumbled across, you know me by now. I'm often first in line to kick myself in the teeth and sink into a morass of anxiety and despair. But, y'know, sometimes I just want to bounce around the house. Sometimes I feel like making something happy and high-energy. That's not to say, ofc, that there's not a little sour note of reality Trojan Horse'd in along the way (like I said, you know me), but it's still a pretty happy, fun song that'll get you moving and having a good time. 

LYRICS:

Go, oh no
Go
Whoa
Whoa

Turn it up, turn up and sing a little louder
Turn it up, turn up and sing a little prouder
Turn it up, turn up and sing a little higher
Scream out every word until your voice is very tired
Turn it up, turn up and dance right when the beat drop
Turn it up, turn up and dance right when the beat drop
Turn it up, turn up and dance until the beat stop
Shakin' all your bacon, don't ever let your feet stop

Strike a match and set fire to the dance floor
Drop it low, girl, show me what that ass for
Break it down like the beat is a glass door
Come on everybody, yo, you gotta take a chance more

Bounce to the beat, bounce to the beat
Bounce to the beat, yo
Bounce to the beat, bounce to the beat
Bounce to the beat, go
Bounce to the beat, bounce to the beat
Bounce to the beat, oh
We won't stop until the sun breaks the horizon

Grinding for the weekend always leave you depressed
What's it for but building up more stress?
Pass the test to diminish like the rest
Snag a small bag, feel hashtag so blessed
Then what? You spend it all on nonsense
In debt, you're halfway washed and on rinse
Feel dumb, can't even mount a defense
You talk about yourself now in past tense

Don't give up, another day tomorrow
Don't give up, a new chance to be a star, yo
Don't give up, here's some riches you can borrow
Life's too short to spend your days in sorrow

Bounce to the beat, bounce to the beat
Bounce to the beat, yo
Bounce to the beat, bounce to the beat
Bounce to the beat, go
Bounce to the beat, bounce to the beat
Bounce to the beat, oh
We won't stop until the sun breaks the horizon

Turn it up, turn up 'til you can't hear them screaming
Turn it up, turn up 'til the world is normal seeming
Turn it up, turn up and if you see it keep on turning
Pretend nothing's collapsing and your city isn't burning
Turn it up, turn up and dance while people crying
Turn it up, turn up, tell yourself it ain't worth trying
Turn it up, turn up and let your leaders keep on lying
Hiding and abiding, just keep dancing while you're dying 

Make your choice and keep fiddling while Rome burns
Play with toys and argue over whose turn
Close your eyes and villainize those who learn
Ignorance is bliss and isn't that what you've earned?

Bounce to the beat, bounce to the beat
Bounce to the beat, yo
Bounce to the beat, bounce to the beat
Bounce to the beat, go
Bounce to the beat, bounce to the beat
Bounce to the beat, oh

We won't stop until the sun breaks the horizon

Whoa
Whoa

© 2025 Funk McPuke

Bounce To The Beat

BOUNCE TO THE BEAT

Many years ago, on a mushroom-fueled wilderness adventure with friends, we found ourselves in a conversation about the big, obvious thing that sometimes blocks you from being able to see the truth of a situation or, more broadly, stands in the way of you reaching enlightenment (whatever that means for you). The obstacle is right there in front of you, huge and unable to be missed -- like, for instance, a giant moose -- and yet you don't see it. You think the path is clear and you can't understand why you keep running into a big, furry wall (or why that big, furry wall sometimes gets angry and kicks you until you're just a puddle of pudding).

As often happens in these types of late night, mind-altered discussions with groups of friends, we somehow landed on the phrase "move your moose" -- as in "you have to learn to move your moose, whatever that might be for you, out of the way so you can see the path ahead and reach [insert goal here]." For some reason, that phrase always stuck with me. And, since I've been listening to a lot of Mr. Bungle lately (if you haven't, do yourself a favor), I decided to get a little weird with it today. Admittedly, I didn't go crazy hard into the Bungle paint, but I sprinkled it onto my own thing like a little seasoning. I hope you enjoy the result. 

LYRICS:

Thanks, wrapped in bacon
Nailed to a tree
Placed upon a pedestal
Tear your bloody heart out
Split divinity
Looking up, you take the fall

Princely pauper, play the fool
Six paces in a solo duel
Seven, if you count the dead
Now warm the bullet in your head

I can’t see
When you’re in front of me
So get the fuck out the way
And move your moose
I can’t see
When you’re in front of me
So get the fuck out the way
And move your moose

I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t
I can’t I can’t I can’t I can't

Suck inspiration
Smile and hold it in (your breath)
Exhale and you’ve blown it all
Tear your bloody heart out
Don’t smile at me again
Without ground, you miss the fall

Princely pauper, play the fool
Six people in a swimming pool
Seven, if you count the dead
Now count the voices in your head

I can’t see
When you’re in front of me
So get the fuck out the way
And move your moose
I can’t see
When you’re in front of me
So get the fuck out the way
And move your moose

I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t
I can’t I can’t I can’t I can't

Princely pauper, play the fool
Six paces in a solo duel
Seven, if you count the dead
Now warm the bullet in your head

I can’t see
When you’re in front of me
So get the fuck out the way
And move your moose
I can’t see
When you’re in front of me
So get the fuck out the way
And move your moose

I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t
I can’t I can’t I can’t I can't

Move your moose
Come on, move your moose
You got to move your moose
You've got to, you've got to

You've got to move your moose
Come on and move that moose
Your sacred goal, take control
Make a hole and move your moose!

© 2025 Funk McPuke

Move Your Moose

MOVE YOUR MOOSE

Where music and passion is never in fashion.

LYRICS:

Midnight
And the kiddies are sleeping
out by the sidewalk
Under the light

Eggshells
Dressed in high heels & symbols
Of decomposition
Beethoven in reverse

Welcome to where time stands still
No one leaves and no one will
Blah blah blah, it's all the same
I can't stand it
I can't stand it
I can't stand it
I can't stand it

Dance into the night
The dog lost his bite
Come into the light,
Carol Anne

At the coma coma coma coma
At the coma coma coma coma
At the coma coma coma coma
At the coma, coma, coma 

Cabana

Freedom
On top of a mountain
Riding the tempo
I enter the hall

Feeling no body
Onto the dance floor
Don’t see the people
No blame, no blame

Welcome to where time stands still
No one thinks and no one will
Blah blah blah, nothing seems to change
I can't stand it
I can't stand it
I can't stand it
I can't stand it

Dance into the night
The dog found his byte
Come into the light,
Carol Anne

At the coma coma coma coma
At the coma coma coma coma
At the coma coma coma coma
At the coma, coma, coma 

Cabana!

Spectaculars will speculate
Which populars might populate
Then stalk the stars who copulate
To drop the act's inaugural date
Inactive ones then activate
To mass produce or masturbate
They pass the buck, procrastinate
Feel pacified, a passive fate

Not quite my tempo

Let's dance!

Welcome to where time stands still
No one thinks and no one will
Blah blah blah, nothing seems to change
I can't stand it
I can't stand it
I can't stand it
I can't stand it

Dance into the night
The dog found his bite
Come into the light,
Carol Anne

At the coma coma coma coma
At the coma coma coma coma
At the coma coma coma coma
At the coma, coma, coma 

Cabana!

At the coma coma coma coma
At the coma coma coma coma (cabana)
At the coma coma coma coma
At the coma, coma, coma 

Cabana!

© 2025 Funk McPuke

Coma Cabana

COMA CABANA

Things aren't always what they seem. Sometimes that's good. Sometimes it really, really isn't. Anyway, let's continue getting a lil' weird with it. This track is some alt rock, some punk, and a nice dose of metal in all the right places. Ymmv. Enjoy!

LYRICS:

When you see me, it will be too late
When I see you, hands are in your fate
Some go softly, some will try to pay
But I deny you and give myself away

Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one PSYCHO
Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one PSYCHO BULLET

When you see me, everything is cold
When I see you, come into the fold
Sharp betrayal, vengeance is the key
Psycho Bullet come to set you free

Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one PSYCHO BULLET (bullet)
Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one PSYCHO BULLET

(Wake up) It's not real
(Please wake up) It's not real
(He's waking up) Start to feel
(Are you okay?) Start to heal
Feeling good (Take this pill)
Okay fine (climb this hill)
Shaken up (Try to chill)
I'm breaking up

Kill kill kill!

You can't see me, locked behind these walls
You won't see me until the hammer falls
Crack pot, Crack shot, trigger pulls the same
Psycho Bullet ready to take aim

Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one PSYCHO BULLET
Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one PSYCHO BULLET

© 2025 Funk McPuke

#1 Psycho Bullet

#1 PSYCHO BULLET

Can a song be gleefully threatening? This one is. It takes place in that moment when you suddenly realize that you've been on the wrong end of the power dynamic -- a power dynamic that has allowed someone who should know better to undervalue and abuse you -- and, so, you flip it. Now it's their turn to worry. Now it's their turn to be afraid, be very, very afraid.

Is that healthy? Idk. Depends on how metaphorical the song is for you, I guess. But when you've felt powerless for so long in a situation, it can be nice to feel that moment of confidence and strength in yourself and your position, even if you're ultimately a "benevolent dictator" about it.

And, tbf, the song really just frames it as a heads-up to the other person to clear out bc their nonsense is no longer going to be tolerated. So, y'know, fair warning. It's "Don't let the door hit ya on the way out" + "You've lost your LA privileges, Butch."

Somewhere between The Coasters song "Searchin'" and the Beatles "Run For Your Life" -- subject-wise, not talent level; I'm not delusional -- this track is the power fantasy or inspiration you need to put your abusers on notice. Or, if you're really, really high right now and you wanna get weird with it, maybe it's the song that Father Time and the Grim Reaper sing to us all. Either way, I like it. In fact, I'm going to go listen to it again right now and bounce around my house. Maybe I'll even do some dishes. 

Enjoy!

LYRICS:

Gonna find you
Gonna trash you
Gonna grind you
Gonna smash you

Well, I know  you like to see me frightened
You know I do
When I get dimmer, you are brightened
You said it's true
But, uh, if we're a-talking straight
And you're askin' me to choose
Am I gonna flip the script?
You know I can't refuse

You best start runnin'
Oh a-runnin'
Ooh yeah, runnin' fast and far away
Yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, runnin'
Keep runnin'
Runnin' every night and day
Yeah, yeah

Don't stop or look behind you
You know I'm just one step away

Gonna grab you
Gonna grill you
Gonna kiss you
Gonna kill you

Well, Frankenstein and Freddy 
Bro, they can't slay like me
Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers
Yo, don't play with me
Anyplace that you're a-hiding
You know I'm gonna find you
The breath over your shoulder
That's me right behind you

So get to runnin'
Oh, yeah, runnin'
My brother, runnin' fast and far away
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Runnin'
Keep runnin'
Runnin' every night and day
Yeah, yeah

Don't stop or look behind you
You know I'm just one step away

Gonna mold you
Gonna make you
Gonna build you
Gonna break you

So keep on runnin'
Oooh, Lord, runnin', mm child
Runnin' fast and far away
Yeah, yeah
Runnin'
Keep runnin'
Runnin' every night and day
Yeah, yeah

Don't stop or look behind you
Cuz now I'm half a step away

Gonna bash you
Gonna rend you
Gonna smash you
Gonna end you

© 2025 Funk McPuke

Start Running

START RUNNING

Sometimes life is oppressive, y'all. And that's all I have to say about that.

LYRICS:

Morning comes, I scream again
Another day in hell
Pound myself to oblivion
No help to drive the nails

No Man wanders 
Through barren hillsides
Deep within a
Tribal dream
Softly screaming
“Wake up, sucker!”
Your ride is here
It’s time to leave

I’m falling

If I kill myself
If I lose my soul
If I go to hell
I’ll be what you want

What you want

Morning comes, I scream again
There’s truth behind the fear
Take yourself to oblivion
‘Cuz you sure can’t bring it here

No Man wanders
Lost in Eden
Blinded to the
Paradise
Softly screaming
"Help me wake up!"
Never sure 
He can pay the price

I’m falling

If I kill myself
If I lose my soul
If I go to hell
I’ll be what you want

What you want

I'm falling

If I kill myself
If I lose my soul
If I go to hell
I’ll be what you want

I'm not

What you want

Please don't tell me 
(What you want)
Don't wanna be 
(What you want)
I'd lose my soul
(What you want)
An empty hole
(What you want)

I don't wanna be
What you want

© 2025 Funk McPuke

What You Want

WHAT YOU WANT

The more things change, the more they stay the same, eh? I wrote this as just a straight-up punk song (with a little metal flavor) several years ago when I was doom-scrolling way too much and making myself more depressed than usual. At that time, I was constantly both baffled by and frustrated at the fact that people were letting what had always felt like a solid foundation begin to crumble, potentially catastrophically, under the weight of dueling misinformation. 

Now, several years later, here we are in this weird fever dream of a timeline and things have certainly changed, but mostly just to get weirder and worse. It's like that scene in Deadpool when Wade tells Francis that he can't step up the already seemingly maxed level of torture and, spoiler alert, Francis scoffs and shows him that oh, yes, you can. Each time I think "Well, this is the peak of it, surely," reality finds a way to out-weird itself. And then tells me not to call it Shirley.

Anyway, it felt like a good time to reinterpret this unfortunately even more relevant song, evolve it a little, maybe get a little weirder with it myself. 

LYRICS:

We threw a war and everyone died
Everyone is going crazy
Everyone is going crazy
Our rights were wrong, so government lied
Everyone is going crazy
Everyone is going nuts

You and I will never be
In the future bright we paid to see
The past lies conquered, the future sold
To the very rich and the very old

Forever
Forever
Forever
For ever

The vote was lost when it ended a tie
Everyone is going crazy
Everyone is going crazy
Yet no one seemed to spot the lie
Everyone is going crazy
Everyone is going nuts

Tossed in blind to sink or swim
Swallow the shit you drowned me in
Will we stoop to sell this bitch
to the very old and the very rich? 

Never
No never
No never
No, never

LET'S GET NUTS!

Everything
(Going crazy)
Everyone
(Going crazy)
Everything
(Going crazy)
Everyone is
Crazy, crazy, CRAZY!!!

Everything is going crazy
Everyone is going crazy
Everything is going crazy
Everyone is going crazy
Everything is going crazy
Everyone is going crazy
Everything is going crazy
Everyone is fucking NUTS

© 2025 Funk McPuke

Going Crazy 2k25

GOING CRAZY XXV

When I started posting songs here, I did it totally for myself and with the idea that this would be my place to make weird music without worrying about if anyone was listening. With no earballs on me, I could just smoosh together different sounds and genres just to see what would happen, write songs journaling whatever I was feeling or thinking about in the moment, and not worry in the slightest about if anyone liked what I was doing. It was my way of making sure that I was making the real music I was feeling or wanted to hear and not just chasing numbers, clout, dollars, or anything else.

Still, I'm a human being (and a bit of a people pleaser), so sometimes when I start working on a new song to post here, I find myself having to fight off the urge to "give the people what they want" or "do the smart thing" of following up a song people liked with more of the same and, instead, write whatever I'm feeling. This song is my artistic statement reminding myself to just write the weird, true thing -- whatever that may be on any given day -- and let the spins fall where they may. 

Still, I do hope you enjoy this one. Like every "most recent song I've written," this is currently my favorite. Ymmv.

LYRICS:

Let's get the artist out here
(The real me)
Turn this whisper to a shout here
(Go real deep)
But before you bring your doubt here
(Don't feel me?)
Find out what I'm about here
(The real me)

Why'd I start this band?
Everybody wanna know
Like anything was planned
and my problems just for show
I don't worry 'bout the reap
Only care about the sew
I'm just aimin' at infinity
and tryin' to grow, but look

Nobody understands
That's already in my plan
Not wildly chasing styles
My mind is my grind, man

Let's get the artist out here
(The real me)
Turn this whisper to a shout here
(And feel free)
Yo, before you bring your doubt here
(Don't feel me?)
I'll spill what I'm about here
(The real tea)

So do I even care
That it's yet to unfold?
Do I sometimes feel
Like I'm gettin' too old?
Bro, I'm chasin' after music
I'm not chasin' the gold
Besides I've heard that luck is made
And fortune favors the bold, still I'm

Feelin' like a stranger
In the strangest land
Content to pay my rent
with my mind and my grind, and

Let's get the artist out here
(The real me)
Turn this whisper to a shout here
(It's healing)
So before you bring your doubt here
(Don't hear me?)
That's all that I'm about here
(No, really)

Cower from my consonants
Fear my vowels
Powerful and confident
Hear me howl
Mentally incontinent
I clear my bowels
While the lyrically incompetent
Just sits and scowls

Breakin' like the continents 
I'm grayin' as I growl
But if they sayin' I lack confidence
They never seen me smile
And if they pray that I lack common sense
They payin' for it child
Cuz I am slayin' I'm just sayin
I ain't playin', hear me now!

Do it Johnny, do it

Let's get the artist out here
(The real me)
Turn this whisper to a shout here
(I breathe deep)
So no need to bring your doubt here
(Don't fear me)
That's not what I'm about here
(But feel free)

Let's get the artist out here
(The real D)
Turn this whisper to a shout here
(For real, B)
When it's getting lonely out here
(Words heal me)
I share what I'm about here
(The real me)

So please, don't you worry 'bout me
The future seems like a great place to be
And I hope that you're there to share it with me
As we stand at the edge of 

infinity

© 2025 Funk McPuke

The Real Me

THE REAL ME

Like "Move Your Moose," this is another one of the songs I wrote in the "clear light" period after a shroomy weekend with friends many years ago. I noodled around with the idea for a while -- though it mostly just lived in my notebook -- and finally produced a fairly simple, mostly garage rock version that I posted here on SC last year. 

In that time, of course, my favorite sounds and current musical obsessions have continued to evolve. And I'd like to think my skills have leveled up at least a little. So, I thought it would be fun to take a song from much earlier in my SC journey and reinterpret it -- or, at least, the most basic structure of it -- through my current lens. 

Basically, I'm covering my very slightly younger self. It's like Taylor's version except Taylor's doing Taylor's version of Taylor's original version and I'm both Taylors, so it's kind of a weird narcissistic spiral. It's Taylors all the way down. But the song is catchy and you know what? I think you'll like it. 

If the beginning doesn't grab you, give it a minute. Like the Oklahoma weather, it will change.

LYRICS:

Open the door
Give us a smile
It’s always good to see
Familiar face
Wink of an eye
Don’t play your games with me

Follow me down
To a bridge by a fountain
You
Can't see me

THROUGH THE CRACK (I’m away)
Don’t look back (I’m away)
Losing track (I’m away)
On my way, on my way
THROUGH THE CRACK (I’m away)
Don’t look back (I’m away)
Losing track (I’m away)
On my way, on my way, hey

Calling the dogs
You bite yourself
Observing what you know
Surround yourself
With plenty of you
And swallow, and swallow

Follow me down
To a bridge by a fountain
You
Can't see me

THROUGH THE CRACK (I’m away)
Don’t look back (I’m away)
Losing track (I’m away)
On my way, on my way
THROUGH THE CRACK (I’m away)
Don’t look back (I’m away)
Losing track (I’m away)
On my way, on my way

I'm gone

I'm gone

Go
Go
Go, go
Go, go, go, go
See ya!

Gotta get up 
To get off
Never let up 
Or let off
Put your bet up
Pull your bet off
It's a set up? 
I'mma set off

Follow me down
To a bridge by a fountain
You
Can't see me

THROUGH THE CRACK (I’m away)
Don’t look back (I’m away)
Losing track (I’m away)
On my way, on my way
THROUGH THE CRACK (I’m away)
Don’t look back (I’m away)
Losing track (I’m away)
On my way, on my way

THROUGH THE CRACK
I’m fallin'
Don’t look back
Stop callin'
Losing track
I’m slippin'
On my way
Stop trippin'

© 2025 Funk McPuke

The Crack XXV

THE CRACK XXV

This is kind of a punk-flavored diss track, I guess. Although I think it's healthier to just cut the liars and deadwood out of your life and move on instead of letting them drag you down, sometimes it's good to allow yourself a little moment of catharsis. You don't want to bottle that stuff up. Let it out and then let it go.

LYRICS:

Hypertension in the room like a heart attack
It's my mission, bring you doom, I go cardiac
You transition to the tomb with this rat-tat-tat
Clutch your chest, I'm the best, just die knowing that

Why you be biting me like a party snack?
While I be writing free, have your started that?
What you see? Where you be? Where the artist at?
For a fee, I could teach but you'll part with stacks

Beat drop, heart stop
Tip-top, hip-hop

Give it up, you're going down
I bring the smoke and take the crown
Bend the knee, I feed on your ego
Give it up, bro! What? Give it up, yo!

Apprehension when I catch you deep inside a lie
Intermission, then I snatch a look from satellite
Feel the fission, blow the hatch, hurt I can't deny
Now you're dead in my head, scratch you from my life

They don't play when they say that some folks will change
When you winnin' then your friends can get very strange
Jealousy gets ugly, it infects they brains
Then you see who they be when they have no shame

Beat drop, heart stop
Tip-top, hip-hop

Give it up, you're going down
I bring the smoke and take the crown
Bend the knee, I feed on your ego
Give it up, bro! What? Give it up, yo!

Burning with flaws
But they don't define me
I turn them to flows
And let them refine me
Slip off the chains
I won't let them bind me
Sailing to new worlds
Boats burning behind me

Beat drop, heart stop
Tip-top, hip-hop

Give it up, you're going down
I bring the smoke and take the crown
Bend the knee, I feed on your ego
Give it up, bro! What? Give it up, yo!

Give it up, you're going down
I bring the smoke and take the crown
Bend the knee, I feed on your ego
Give it up, bro! What? Give it up

Yo, I can't believe I did that
Broke me off a piece like Kit-Kat
But give me a pad and a pen with no cap and
You best believe I'd hit that

You say that you ain't with that
But, homie, can you spit that?
If not then I can't hear it
Cuz just talking's for the riff-raff

© 2025 Funk McPuke

Give It Up

GIVE IT UP

I mean, we're all watching the same news. Sort of. Well, we're talking about the same news stories. Sometimes. When it serves the people reporting the news. And, of course, everybody denies everybody else's news stories and makes up counter-narrative news stories of their own and then argue about the news stories that they each made up, and... people wonder why it's all such a big mess.

Anyway, I decided to get a little weird with it. Not as weird instrumentally as I sometimes do (though there are some fun moments), but weird lyrically this time. 

Oh! And for a fun extra challenge, I wondered if I could at least slant-rhyme every syllable of the verses with the syllables of the numerical first lines that kick off each verse chunk. I got pretty close. The continuous rhyme gets a little wibbly-wobbly as I sometimes REALLY slant those rhymes, but I like it. 

LYRICS:

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight
On TV, whores thrive, sex sellin' hate
Want to see more hives? Sick, salivate
Down to the core, find sticks, stabbin' it

John? Who, me? No time, let's revelate
Underneath you're alive, inanimate
Until we survive this "heaven-scape"
Won't you free your mind, fix, elevate?

If the truth is what you need
Watch the forest, not the trees

Open your eyes and
RISE UP!
Say no to the lies and
RISE UP!
Don't live on your knees, just
RISE UP!
Are you the land of the free? Then
RISE UP!

Before it's all banned up
Yo, you gotta stand up

Eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one
Hate's ever thick. Why? Forty-two, son
Ain't never slick lies, fork the truth, scum
Aches ever since I heard the truth's dumb

Apes sever sins by forcing new ones
Take every stick, find torturing's too fun 
Snake's heaven-sense? Lies, forging truth, done
Fake sermons kick high forgeries. Who's won?  

If the truth is what you need
Watch the forest, not the trees

Open your eyes and
RISE UP!
Say no to the lies and
RISE UP!
Don't live on your knees, just
RISE UP!
Are you the land of the free? Then
RISE UP!

Before it's all banned up
Stand up

Show me a Herb
I be smokin' that Herb
Light 'em up, breathe
Spittin' fire-like words
Let 'em keep talkin, man
They stuff sound absurd
The whispers gettin' loud
But now we're listenin', ya heard?

If the truth is what you need
Watch the forest, not the trees

Open your eyes and
RISE UP!
Say no to the lies and
RISE UP!
Don't live on your knees, just
RISE UP!
Are you the land of the free? Then
RISE UP!

Open your eyes and
RISE UP!
Say no to the lies and
RISE UP!
Don't live on your knees, just
RISE UP!
Are you the land of the free? Then
RISE UP!

Before it's all banned up
Stand up
For sure put your hand up
Stand up
Then lift your eyes up and
Rise up
Just grab that prize up, now
RISE UP

© 2025 Funk McPuke

Rise Up

RISE UP

Hey there, y'all! I'm Funk McPuke, an artist and musician originally from Los Angeles, CA but now living in my own little world.

After being in a bunch of punk and metal bands, I started writing and posting my own music here as a way of journaling feels, processing emotions, having fun with sounds, and annoying my neighbors. I decided early on to always just write whatever I was feeling in the moment and never chase an audience or clicks or clout, the result being that my music is a mix of various styles I like in various balances without any attempt to cater to a particular audience or genre. Depending on the song, you might hear a little punk, metal, grunge, electro, rap, post-hardcore, industrial, or any combination of those and other genres. I like to squish different sounds together and see what happens. If it sounds good, has a catchy hook, and makes me want to either cry or jump on my furniture and break stuff, it gets posted. Soundcloud is my place to play around and have a good time making music I enjoy without overthinking it too much. 

Ymmv. If you like one thing and one thing only -- like, if you're one of those people who believes punk has a uniform or something is "not metal" if it doesn't sound like all the other bands you listen to -- this might not be for you. Or maybe it is. Idk. I'm not the boss of you. Give it a listen and decide for yourself. And, hey, if you don't like one song, try another. You might like that one better.

Either way, I'mma keep writing and posting music for myself. But, y'know, if you find some lyrics you connect with, some hook that makes you bounce around your house, or just something to put on while you FINALLY do those dishes that have been stinking up your kitchen for the past week, then welcome. Even though I'm not chasing an audience, I do love getting messages from people who've connected with something I've made. It makes me feel less alone in the world and, for all those people who've messaged me in the past or will message me in the future, I appreciate you. I truly do. Thanks for stopping by and giving me a listen. I may write this music for myself because I think that's the best way to keep it honest, but I still believe music, like all art, is best when it's shared.

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