It's not that I don't see the red flags when I'm just about to start dating the wrong person. There's just some weird part of my brain that goes, "Nah, I'm sure it's fine" and slides off the bad stuff while overly magnifying the good stuff. 

Once, I even convinced myself that a woman wasn't actually as shallow and self-centered as she seemed to be when I met her and that she was instead just doing an extended, Sarah Silverman-ish comedy bit. I thought, "Wow, she's really funny." Well, as it eventually became apparent, she wasn't doing a bit. That "character" was her right down to her core, but it was like my brain hypnotized me into looking everywhere except right at the truth.

Idk why that part of my judgement shuts off when it does. One day I hope to sort that out so I can stop ending up tied to the wrong people for way too long. Until then, here's a fun, fast-paced, and catchy hard rock song to jump around the house to. And, hey, if you're also a little colorblind when it comes to seeing red flags, feel free to scream along. Maybe if we repeat it enough to ourselves, the truth will sink in and eventually set us free.  

LYRICS:

I'm in love
Found the one
I know that it's true
True
Then it turned
No surprise
I already knew
Knew

Saw it right away
The dark inside
Still I chose to stay
Let me roll the dice
My heart lies

Throw darts, try to hurt me
Gas light and pervert me
I know you'll desert me
When I see red flags I look away
Come on, test and try me
Your nails crucify me
You smile while I'm crying
But I see red flags and look away

Reaching out
Once again
You push me away
Way
Barricade
You shut me out 
Every day
Day

I should let you go
And just move on
Don't want to be alone
But then it dawns
You're already gone

Throw darts, try to hurt me
Gas light and pervert me
I know you'll desert me
When I see red flags I look away
Come on, test and try me
Your nails crucify me
You smile while I'm crying
But I see red flags and look away

Saw it right away
The dark inside
Still I chose to stay
Had to roll the dice
Cuz my heart lies

Throw darts, try to hurt me
Gas light and pervert me
I know you'll desert me
When I see red flags I look away
Come on, test and try me
Your nails crucify me
You smile while I'm crying
But I see red flags and look away

You smile while I'm crying
But I see red flags and look away

Throw darts (I still love you)
Dead hearts (I still love you)
Gas light (I still love you)
Every flag is red, just look away
Break me (I still love you)
Break me (I still love you)
Kill me (I still love you)

Cuz when the flags are red I look away

© 2025 Funk McPuke

Red Flags

RED FLAGS

Unless this is the first song of mine you've stumbled across, you know me by now. I'm often first in line to kick myself in the teeth and sink into a morass of anxiety and despair. But, y'know, sometimes I just want to bounce around the house. Sometimes I feel like making something happy and high-energy. That's not to say, ofc, that there's not a little sour note of reality Trojan Horse'd in along the way (like I said, you know me), but it's still a pretty happy, fun song that'll get you moving and having a good time. 

LYRICS:

Go, oh no
Go
Whoa
Whoa

Turn it up, turn up and sing a little louder
Turn it up, turn up and sing a little prouder
Turn it up, turn up and sing a little higher
Scream out every word until your voice is very tired
Turn it up, turn up and dance right when the beat drop
Turn it up, turn up and dance right when the beat drop
Turn it up, turn up and dance until the beat stop
Shakin' all your bacon, don't ever let your feet stop

Strike a match and set fire to the dance floor
Drop it low, girl, show me what that ass for
Break it down like the beat is a glass door
Come on everybody, yo, you gotta take a chance more

Bounce to the beat, bounce to the beat
Bounce to the beat, yo
Bounce to the beat, bounce to the beat
Bounce to the beat, go
Bounce to the beat, bounce to the beat
Bounce to the beat, oh
We won't stop until the sun breaks the horizon

Grinding for the weekend always leave you depressed
What's it for but building up more stress?
Pass the test to diminish like the rest
Snag a small bag, feel hashtag so blessed
Then what? You spend it all on nonsense
In debt, you're halfway washed and on rinse
Feel dumb, can't even mount a defense
You talk about yourself now in past tense

Don't give up, another day tomorrow
Don't give up, a new chance to be a star, yo
Don't give up, here's some riches you can borrow
Life's too short to spend your days in sorrow

Bounce to the beat, bounce to the beat
Bounce to the beat, yo
Bounce to the beat, bounce to the beat
Bounce to the beat, go
Bounce to the beat, bounce to the beat
Bounce to the beat, oh
We won't stop until the sun breaks the horizon

Turn it up, turn up 'til you can't hear them screaming
Turn it up, turn up 'til the world is normal seeming
Turn it up, turn up and if you see it keep on turning
Pretend nothing's collapsing and your city isn't burning
Turn it up, turn up and dance while people crying
Turn it up, turn up, tell yourself it ain't worth trying
Turn it up, turn up and let your leaders keep on lying
Hiding and abiding, just keep dancing while you're dying 

Make your choice and keep fiddling while Rome burns
Play with toys and argue over whose turn
Close your eyes and villainize those who learn
Ignorance is bliss and isn't that what you've earned?

Bounce to the beat, bounce to the beat
Bounce to the beat, yo
Bounce to the beat, bounce to the beat
Bounce to the beat, go
Bounce to the beat, bounce to the beat
Bounce to the beat, oh

We won't stop until the sun breaks the horizon

Whoa
Whoa

© 2025 Funk McPuke

Bounce To The Beat

BOUNCE TO THE BEAT

Many years ago, on a mushroom-fueled wilderness adventure with friends, we found ourselves in a conversation about the big, obvious thing that sometimes blocks you from being able to see the truth of a situation or, more broadly, stands in the way of you reaching enlightenment (whatever that means for you). The obstacle is right there in front of you, huge and unable to be missed -- like, for instance, a giant moose -- and yet you don't see it. You think the path is clear and you can't understand why you keep running into a big, furry wall (or why that big, furry wall sometimes gets angry and kicks you until you're just a puddle of pudding).

As often happens in these types of late night, mind-altered discussions with groups of friends, we somehow landed on the phrase "move your moose" -- as in "you have to learn to move your moose, whatever that might be for you, out of the way so you can see the path ahead and reach [insert goal here]." For some reason, that phrase always stuck with me. And, since I've been listening to a lot of Mr. Bungle lately (if you haven't, do yourself a favor), I decided to get a little weird with it today. Admittedly, I didn't go crazy hard into the Bungle paint, but I sprinkled it onto my own thing like a little seasoning. I hope you enjoy the result. 

LYRICS:

Thanks, wrapped in bacon
Nailed to a tree
Placed upon a pedestal
Tear your bloody heart out
Split divinity
Looking up, you take the fall

Princely pauper, play the fool
Six paces in a solo duel
Seven, if you count the dead
Now warm the bullet in your head

I can’t see
When you’re in front of me
So get the fuck out the way
And move your moose
I can’t see
When you’re in front of me
So get the fuck out the way
And move your moose

I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t
I can’t I can’t I can’t I can't

Suck inspiration
Smile and hold it in (your breath)
Exhale and you’ve blown it all
Tear your bloody heart out
Don’t smile at me again
Without ground, you miss the fall

Princely pauper, play the fool
Six people in a swimming pool
Seven, if you count the dead
Now count the voices in your head

I can’t see
When you’re in front of me
So get the fuck out the way
And move your moose
I can’t see
When you’re in front of me
So get the fuck out the way
And move your moose

I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t
I can’t I can’t I can’t I can't

Princely pauper, play the fool
Six paces in a solo duel
Seven, if you count the dead
Now warm the bullet in your head

I can’t see
When you’re in front of me
So get the fuck out the way
And move your moose
I can’t see
When you’re in front of me
So get the fuck out the way
And move your moose

I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t
I can’t I can’t I can’t I can't

Move your moose
Come on, move your moose
You got to move your moose
You've got to, you've got to

You've got to move your moose
Come on and move that moose
Your sacred goal, take control
Make a hole and move your moose!

© 2025 Funk McPuke

Move Your Moose

MOVE YOUR MOOSE

Where music and passion is never in fashion.

LYRICS:

Midnight
And the kiddies are sleeping
out by the sidewalk
Under the light

Eggshells
Dressed in high heels & symbols
Of decomposition
Beethoven in reverse

Welcome to where time stands still
No one leaves and no one will
Blah blah blah, it's all the same
I can't stand it
I can't stand it
I can't stand it
I can't stand it

Dance into the night
The dog lost his bite
Come into the light,
Carol Anne

At the coma coma coma coma
At the coma coma coma coma
At the coma coma coma coma
At the coma, coma, coma 

Cabana

Freedom
On top of a mountain
Riding the tempo
I enter the hall

Feeling no body
Onto the dance floor
Don’t see the people
No blame, no blame

Welcome to where time stands still
No one thinks and no one will
Blah blah blah, nothing seems to change
I can't stand it
I can't stand it
I can't stand it
I can't stand it

Dance into the night
The dog found his byte
Come into the light,
Carol Anne

At the coma coma coma coma
At the coma coma coma coma
At the coma coma coma coma
At the coma, coma, coma 

Cabana!

Spectaculars will speculate
Which populars might populate
Then stalk the stars who copulate
To drop the act's inaugural date
Inactive ones then activate
To mass produce or masturbate
They pass the buck, procrastinate
Feel pacified, a passive fate

Not quite my tempo

Let's dance!

Welcome to where time stands still
No one thinks and no one will
Blah blah blah, nothing seems to change
I can't stand it
I can't stand it
I can't stand it
I can't stand it

Dance into the night
The dog found his bite
Come into the light,
Carol Anne

At the coma coma coma coma
At the coma coma coma coma
At the coma coma coma coma
At the coma, coma, coma 

Cabana!

At the coma coma coma coma
At the coma coma coma coma (cabana)
At the coma coma coma coma
At the coma, coma, coma 

Cabana!

© 2025 Funk McPuke

Coma Cabana

COMA CABANA

Things aren't always what they seem. Sometimes that's good. Sometimes it really, really isn't. Anyway, let's continue getting a lil' weird with it. This track is some alt rock, some punk, and a nice dose of metal in all the right places. Ymmv. Enjoy!

LYRICS:

When you see me, it will be too late
When I see you, hands are in your fate
Some go softly, some will try to pay
But I deny you and give myself away

Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one PSYCHO
Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one PSYCHO BULLET

When you see me, everything is cold
When I see you, come into the fold
Sharp betrayal, vengeance is the key
Psycho Bullet come to set you free

Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one PSYCHO BULLET (bullet)
Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one PSYCHO BULLET

(Wake up) It's not real
(Please wake up) It's not real
(He's waking up) Start to feel
(Are you okay?) Start to heal
Feeling good (Take this pill)
Okay fine (climb this hill)
Shaken up (Try to chill)
I'm breaking up

Kill kill kill!

You can't see me, locked behind these walls
You won't see me until the hammer falls
Crack pot, Crack shot, trigger pulls the same
Psycho Bullet ready to take aim

Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one PSYCHO BULLET
Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one Psycho Bullet (psycho)
Number one PSYCHO BULLET

© 2025 Funk McPuke

#1 Psycho Bullet

#1 PSYCHO BULLET

Can a song be gleefully threatening? This one is. It takes place in that moment when you suddenly realize that you've been on the wrong end of the power dynamic -- a power dynamic that has allowed someone who should know better to undervalue and abuse you -- and, so, you flip it. Now it's their turn to worry. Now it's their turn to be afraid, be very, very afraid.

Is that healthy? Idk. Depends on how metaphorical the song is for you, I guess. But when you've felt powerless for so long in a situation, it can be nice to feel that moment of confidence and strength in yourself and your position, even if you're ultimately a "benevolent dictator" about it.

And, tbf, the song really just frames it as a heads-up to the other person to clear out bc their nonsense is no longer going to be tolerated. So, y'know, fair warning. It's "Don't let the door hit ya on the way out" + "You've lost your LA privileges, Butch."

Somewhere between The Coasters song "Searchin'" and the Beatles "Run For Your Life" -- subject-wise, not talent level; I'm not delusional -- this track is the power fantasy or inspiration you need to put your abusers on notice. Or, if you're really, really high right now and you wanna get weird with it, maybe it's the song that Father Time and the Grim Reaper sing to us all. Either way, I like it. In fact, I'm going to go listen to it again right now and bounce around my house. Maybe I'll even do some dishes. 

Enjoy!

LYRICS:

Gonna find you
Gonna trash you
Gonna grind you
Gonna smash you

Well, I know  you like to see me frightened
You know I do
When I get dimmer, you are brightened
You said it's true
But, uh, if we're a-talking straight
And you're askin' me to choose
Am I gonna flip the script?
You know I can't refuse

You best start runnin'
Oh a-runnin'
Ooh yeah, runnin' fast and far away
Yeah, yeah
Oh, yeah, runnin'
Keep runnin'
Runnin' every night and day
Yeah, yeah

Don't stop or look behind you
You know I'm just one step away

Gonna grab you
Gonna grill you
Gonna kiss you
Gonna kill you

Well, Frankenstein and Freddy 
Bro, they can't slay like me
Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers
Yo, don't play with me
Anyplace that you're a-hiding
You know I'm gonna find you
The breath over your shoulder
That's me right behind you

So get to runnin'
Oh, yeah, runnin'
My brother, runnin' fast and far away
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Runnin'
Keep runnin'
Runnin' every night and day
Yeah, yeah

Don't stop or look behind you
You know I'm just one step away

Gonna mold you
Gonna make you
Gonna build you
Gonna break you

So keep on runnin'
Oooh, Lord, runnin', mm child
Runnin' fast and far away
Yeah, yeah
Runnin'
Keep runnin'
Runnin' every night and day
Yeah, yeah

Don't stop or look behind you
Cuz now I'm half a step away

Gonna bash you
Gonna rend you
Gonna smash you
Gonna end you

© 2025 Funk McPuke

Start Running

START RUNNING

Sometimes life is oppressive, y'all. And that's all I have to say about that.

LYRICS:

Morning comes, I scream again
Another day in hell
Pound myself to oblivion
No help to drive the nails

No Man wanders 
Through barren hillsides
Deep within a
Tribal dream
Softly screaming
“Wake up, sucker!”
Your ride is here
It’s time to leave

I’m falling

If I kill myself
If I lose my soul
If I go to hell
I’ll be what you want

What you want

Morning comes, I scream again
There’s truth behind the fear
Take yourself to oblivion
‘Cuz you sure can’t bring it here

No Man wanders
Lost in Eden
Blinded to the
Paradise
Softly screaming
"Help me wake up!"
Never sure 
He can pay the price

I’m falling

If I kill myself
If I lose my soul
If I go to hell
I’ll be what you want

What you want

I'm falling

If I kill myself
If I lose my soul
If I go to hell
I’ll be what you want

I'm not

What you want

Please don't tell me 
(What you want)
Don't wanna be 
(What you want)
I'd lose my soul
(What you want)
An empty hole
(What you want)

I don't wanna be
What you want

© 2025 Funk McPuke

What You Want

WHAT YOU WANT

The more things change, the more they stay the same, eh? I wrote this as just a straight-up punk song (with a little metal flavor) several years ago when I was doom-scrolling way too much and making myself more depressed than usual. At that time, I was constantly both baffled by and frustrated at the fact that people were letting what had always felt like a solid foundation begin to crumble, potentially catastrophically, under the weight of dueling misinformation. 

Now, several years later, here we are in this weird fever dream of a timeline and things have certainly changed, but mostly just to get weirder and worse. It's like that scene in Deadpool when Wade tells Francis that he can't step up the already seemingly maxed level of torture and, spoiler alert, Francis scoffs and shows him that oh, yes, you can. Each time I think "Well, this is the peak of it, surely," reality finds a way to out-weird itself. And then tells me not to call it Shirley.

Anyway, it felt like a good time to reinterpret this unfortunately even more relevant song, evolve it a little, maybe get a little weirder with it myself. 

LYRICS:

We threw a war and everyone died
Everyone is going crazy
Everyone is going crazy
Our rights were wrong, so government lied
Everyone is going crazy
Everyone is going nuts

You and I will never be
In the future bright we paid to see
The past lies conquered, the future sold
To the very rich and the very old

Forever
Forever
Forever
For ever

The vote was lost when it ended a tie
Everyone is going crazy
Everyone is going crazy
Yet no one seemed to spot the lie
Everyone is going crazy
Everyone is going nuts

Tossed in blind to sink or swim
Swallow the shit you drowned me in
Will we stoop to sell this bitch
to the very old and the very rich? 

Never
No never
No never
No, never

LET'S GET NUTS!

Everything
(Going crazy)
Everyone
(Going crazy)
Everything
(Going crazy)
Everyone is
Crazy, crazy, CRAZY!!!

Everything is going crazy
Everyone is going crazy
Everything is going crazy
Everyone is going crazy
Everything is going crazy
Everyone is going crazy
Everything is going crazy
Everyone is fucking NUTS

© 2025 Funk McPuke

Going Crazy 2k25

GOING CRAZY XXV

When I started posting songs here, I did it totally for myself and with the idea that this would be my place to make weird music without worrying about if anyone was listening. With no earballs on me, I could just smoosh together different sounds and genres just to see what would happen, write songs journaling whatever I was feeling or thinking about in the moment, and not worry in the slightest about if anyone liked what I was doing. It was my way of making sure that I was making the real music I was feeling or wanted to hear and not just chasing numbers, clout, dollars, or anything else.

Still, I'm a human being (and a bit of a people pleaser), so sometimes when I start working on a new song to post here, I find myself having to fight off the urge to "give the people what they want" or "do the smart thing" of following up a song people liked with more of the same and, instead, write whatever I'm feeling. This song is my artistic statement reminding myself to just write the weird, true thing -- whatever that may be on any given day -- and let the spins fall where they may. 

Still, I do hope you enjoy this one. Like every "most recent song I've written," this is currently my favorite. Ymmv.

LYRICS:

Let's get the artist out here
(The real me)
Turn this whisper to a shout here
(Go real deep)
But before you bring your doubt here
(Don't feel me?)
Find out what I'm about here
(The real me)

Why'd I start this band?
Everybody wanna know
Like anything was planned
and my problems just for show
I don't worry 'bout the reap
Only care about the sew
I'm just aimin' at infinity
and tryin' to grow, but look

Nobody understands
That's already in my plan
Not wildly chasing styles
My mind is my grind, man

Let's get the artist out here
(The real me)
Turn this whisper to a shout here
(And feel free)
Yo, before you bring your doubt here
(Don't feel me?)
I'll spill what I'm about here
(The real tea)

So do I even care
That it's yet to unfold?
Do I sometimes feel
Like I'm gettin' too old?
Bro, I'm chasin' after music
I'm not chasin' the gold
Besides I've heard that luck is made
And fortune favors the bold, still I'm

Feelin' like a stranger
In the strangest land
Content to pay my rent
with my mind and my grind, and

Let's get the artist out here
(The real me)
Turn this whisper to a shout here
(It's healing)
So before you bring your doubt here
(Don't hear me?)
That's all that I'm about here
(No, really)

Cower from my consonants
Fear my vowels
Powerful and confident
Hear me howl
Mentally incontinent
I clear my bowels
While the lyrically incompetent
Just sits and scowls

Breakin' like the continents 
I'm grayin' as I growl
But if they sayin' I lack confidence
They never seen me smile
And if they pray that I lack common sense
They payin' for it child
Cuz I am slayin' I'm just sayin
I ain't playin', hear me now!

Do it Johnny, do it

Let's get the artist out here
(The real me)
Turn this whisper to a shout here
(I breathe deep)
So no need to bring your doubt here
(Don't fear me)
That's not what I'm about here
(But feel free)

Let's get the artist out here
(The real D)
Turn this whisper to a shout here
(For real, B)
When it's getting lonely out here
(Words heal me)
I share what I'm about here
(The real me)

So please, don't you worry 'bout me
The future seems like a great place to be
And I hope that you're there to share it with me
As we stand at the edge of 

infinity

© 2025 Funk McPuke

The Real Me

THE REAL ME

Like "Move Your Moose," this is another one of the songs I wrote in the "clear light" period after a shroomy weekend with friends many years ago. I noodled around with the idea for a while -- though it mostly just lived in my notebook -- and finally produced a fairly simple, mostly garage rock version that I posted here on SC last year. 

In that time, of course, my favorite sounds and current musical obsessions have continued to evolve. And I'd like to think my skills have leveled up at least a little. So, I thought it would be fun to take a song from much earlier in my SC journey and reinterpret it -- or, at least, the most basic structure of it -- through my current lens. 

Basically, I'm covering my very slightly younger self. It's like Taylor's version except Taylor's doing Taylor's version of Taylor's original version and I'm both Taylors, so it's kind of a weird narcissistic spiral. It's Taylors all the way down. But the song is catchy and you know what? I think you'll like it. 

If the beginning doesn't grab you, give it a minute. Like the Oklahoma weather, it will change.

LYRICS:

Open the door
Give us a smile
It’s always good to see
Familiar face
Wink of an eye
Don’t play your games with me

Follow me down
To a bridge by a fountain
You
Can't see me

THROUGH THE CRACK (I’m away)
Don’t look back (I’m away)
Losing track (I’m away)
On my way, on my way
THROUGH THE CRACK (I’m away)
Don’t look back (I’m away)
Losing track (I’m away)
On my way, on my way, hey

Calling the dogs
You bite yourself
Observing what you know
Surround yourself
With plenty of you
And swallow, and swallow

Follow me down
To a bridge by a fountain
You
Can't see me

THROUGH THE CRACK (I’m away)
Don’t look back (I’m away)
Losing track (I’m away)
On my way, on my way
THROUGH THE CRACK (I’m away)
Don’t look back (I’m away)
Losing track (I’m away)
On my way, on my way

I'm gone

I'm gone

Go
Go
Go, go
Go, go, go, go
See ya!

Gotta get up 
To get off
Never let up 
Or let off
Put your bet up
Pull your bet off
It's a set up? 
I'mma set off

Follow me down
To a bridge by a fountain
You
Can't see me

THROUGH THE CRACK (I’m away)
Don’t look back (I’m away)
Losing track (I’m away)
On my way, on my way
THROUGH THE CRACK (I’m away)
Don’t look back (I’m away)
Losing track (I’m away)
On my way, on my way

THROUGH THE CRACK
I’m fallin'
Don’t look back
Stop callin'
Losing track
I’m slippin'
On my way
Stop trippin'

© 2025 Funk McPuke

The Crack XXV

THE CRACK XXV

Hey there, y'all! I'm Funk McPuke, an artist and musician originally from Los Angeles, CA but now living in my own little world.

After being in a bunch of punk and metal bands, I started writing and posting my own music here as a way of journaling feels, processing emotions, having fun with sounds, and annoying my neighbors. I decided early on to always just write whatever I was feeling in the moment and never chase an audience or clicks or clout, the result being that my music is a mix of various styles I like in various balances without any attempt to cater to a particular audience or genre. Depending on the song, you might hear a little punk, metal, grunge, electro, rap, post-hardcore, industrial, or any combination of those and other genres. I like to squish different sounds together and see what happens. If it sounds good, has a catchy hook, and makes me want to either cry or jump on my furniture and break stuff, it gets posted. Soundcloud is my place to play around and have a good time making music I enjoy without overthinking it too much. 

Ymmv. If you like one thing and one thing only -- like, if you're one of those people who believes punk has a uniform or something is "not metal" if it doesn't sound like all the other bands you listen to -- this might not be for you. Or maybe it is. Idk. I'm not the boss of you. Give it a listen and decide for yourself. And, hey, if you don't like one song, try another. You might like that one better.

Either way, I'mma keep writing and posting music for myself. But, y'know, if you find some lyrics you connect with, some hook that makes you bounce around your house, or just something to put on while you FINALLY do those dishes that have been stinking up your kitchen for the past week, then welcome. Even though I'm not chasing an audience, I do love getting messages from people who've connected with something I've made. It makes me feel less alone in the world and, for all those people who've messaged me in the past or will message me in the future, I appreciate you. I truly do. Thanks for stopping by and giving me a listen. I may write this music for myself because I think that's the best way to keep it honest, but I still believe music, like all art, is best when it's shared.