UPDATE: Redid this and sang it a little better. It's dated now, since the ending is based on the Season 3 meta, but screw it.

This is an Overwatch-themed parody of All Star by Smash Mouth, detailing some of the trials and tribulations of playing in the bronze leagues. I own nothing except the written lyrics and the voice doing all the singing.

LYRICS:
Stylosa once told me that rank should not control me,
Ain't got the sharpest aim in my squad,
I've been feelin' kinda dumb blindly firin' my gun,
It's no wonder that I'm still in bronze...

Well, the Winston's jumpin' and he won't stop jumpin',
Charges our team and he hits the ground running
Didn't make sense not to pop his shield
We melted him, thanks for the free kill.

So much momentum, can't you see?
So why bother taking the back streets?
Chargin' straight down King's Row,
Oh shit, they've got a Widow! (Pow!)

[Chorus:]
Hey, now, you're a Soldier, kill the Pharah, please, maaate,
Hey, now, D.va's ulting, get to cover, too late...
And all your medals are gold,
Doesn't mean a thiiing, with that team though...

It's a cool place and with Mei it gets colder
You're bundled up now, wait till she gets her ult up,
But the Zarya main begs to differ,
'Cause her black hole's better than your blizzard!

When Lucio skates, he's pretty hard to hit,
If he's the King of Swing, then you might as well quit,
Their team's on fire. Where's our rez?
It's not gonna happen when our Mercy is dead...

[Chorus]
Hey now, you're a Reinhardt, don't just charge in, please, wait!
Hey now, there's a Roadhog, watch the hook man, whoooa, heey!
And all your medals are gold,
But you're getting crushed, queuein' solo...

Hey now, you're an Hanzo, is your aim good enough, maaate?
Hey now, an attack Torb, what the hell man? Please change!
And all your medals are gold,
You're still getting crushed...

Somebody once asked could we please try triple tank,
We need to get ourselves ahead in this game,
I said yep, what a concept
I was just thinking that myself
'Cause we could all use a little change

Well, the wins start coming and they don't stop coming
Mess with the rules and we hit the ground running
Charge in with D.va, Hog and Rein,
Clutchin' a win in overtime,

Hold up a sec, what's that I see?
Reaper's flanking us from the back streets
He's givin' it a pretty good go,
But he's not gonna cut it all alooone!

Hey now, you're an all star, getting play of the game!
Hey now, see what happens, when you're willing to change?
And all your medals are gold!
With a decent team, higher you'll go!
And all your medals are gold,
Only decent teams, get that win though!

Overwatch All Star - Song Parody by Gavaroc

Australian twitch streamer who occasionally sings when he's bored! 
Live six days a week at http://www.twitch.tv/Gavaroc
Once in a blue moon I'll upload to https://www.youtube.com/c/Gavaroc