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“Tome of Stars” is a 100 sonnet journey, equal parts art, therapy journal, and exorcism, both a celebration and an elegy, a single narrative arc tracing the birth and death of a relationship. All poetry by Stargazer. The verse and accompanying synthetic art and music are public domain, CC0, with no restrictions on use. Nothing is monetized. See below for links on how to access the print, PDF, audio, ePub, video, and music files. 
Website: https://www.tomeofstars.net/

The fifth Item of “Tome of Stars”, “Quixotosis”, marks the poet’s transformation into a sustained state of paradox with an enduring condition of impractical idealism born not from naive delusion but from its aftermath. Emerging from the frozen void of “Anemochory“, these sixteen poems depict a fractured self that has ceased resisting its nature, accepting permanent separation from the beloved while continuing to orbit her in love without expectation (and in the end, without hope) of return.

“Boxing Day, 2024” is a free verse lament marking the precise moment when the poet relinquishes his last hope of hearing again from his beloved, certainly in any fashion that could be meaningful in the raw essence his longing required. The poem is raw, disordered, and visceral, formally abandoning rhyme and meter to express emotional collapse. Anchored in the memory of the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami—an event that had once reconnected them through the catalyst of global tragedy—the poem mourns the absence of a renewed contact on the 20th anniversary of that event. What begins as an invocation of grief and trauma concludes with exhausted defeat. The poem chronicles a vigil held in emotional ruin, where the silence of the beloved, now seen as definitive, is internalized as the final blow. The poet, having sustained fantasy for decades, at last allows it to die, not through anger or argument, but through absence and unacknowledged loss.

This poem does not further the relationship; it buries it. It is the moment the poet accepts, not by conviction but by exhaustive defeat, that his beloved will never return, never answer, and never truly loved him at all. In that sense, the poem does not merely end the “Quixotosis” section, but it ends the fantasy itself. “Scripture”, the meta-reflective epilogue to the collection, can only follow such death.

***********
Lyrics

Bone-shattered-heaven-damned lune
zombie-lurching months (campus dark and hunted light)
yourface yourlaugh yourwalk yoursmell

waking: (cold) empty-life-waltz hotel room laptop news
d-r-u-n-k mother nature’s black INFANTICIDE
one quarter million tombs befoul stirred seas

i broke unholy silences. i bled cross fiber optics
we touched. and wept. and vowed
never ever let love die

i choke on it now//\\twenty year deathversary
mourning every moment of our rot
continents sundered ——— i felt your heart tonight
((((*in timeless unspace*))))

ruined resurrection as you vomit infinite silence
rank guts a’sloshin’ o’er hateful shores
blinging our grave by cemetery seas

sorry, stargirl
i just couldn’t make it rhyme

***********

Internet Archive
Book of sonnets:
https://archive.org/details/tome-of-stars/

Music:
Item 1, Anthesis: https://archive.org/details/Anthesis/
Item 2, Senescence: https://archive.org/details/senescence_tomeofstars
Item 3, Sporogenesis: https://archive.org/details/Sporogenesis_TomeOfStars/
Item 4, Anemochory: https://archive.org/details/Anemochory_TomeOfStars
Item 5, Quixotosis: https://archive.org/details/Quixotosis_TomeOfStars
Item 6, Scripture: https://archive.org/details/Scripture_TomeOfStars

Boxing Day 2024

Lyrics:

Tiefer als Gräber, jenseits von Zeit
Wo Schatten weben finsteres Leid
Ein Echo erwacht, geboren aus Zorn
Endloser Nacht, neu auserkoren
Der Boden er bebt, die Luft sie gefriert
Ein Siegel gebrochen, nichts mehr regiert

Spürst die Macht sich regen
Uralter Schrecken sprengt Fesseln
Tore erzittern im Feuerschein
Bald bricht er herein!

Hellraiser! Dämon aus der Nacht!
Hellraiser! Hat die Macht entfacht!
Empor aus der Hölle, mit Schwefel und Wut
Er trinkt deine Angst wie glühendes Blut!
Keine Reue, kein Fleh'n, du wirst untergeh'n
Deine Seele wird brennen im lodernden Weh'n!

Gezeichnet vom Feuer, gekleidet in Pein
Verborgenes Wissen, sein finsterer Schein
Wandelt durch Welten, bringt Qual und Verderb
Ist ewig schon da, bis alles wird sterben
Meister der Schmerzen, der Lust, Gier und Pein
Öffnest du die Pforte, holt er dich rein!

Hörst seine Schritte, Stein knackt im Gang
Luft schmeckt nach Asche, dein letzter Gesang
Ketten sie rasseln, höllischer Klang
Dein Ende naht, es währt nicht mehr lang!

Hellraiser! Dämon aus der Nacht!
Hellraiser! Hat die Macht entfacht!
Empor aus der Hölle, mit Schwefel und Wut
Er trinkt deine Angst wie glühendes Blut!
Keine Reue, kein Fleh'n, du wirst untergeh'n
Deine Seele wird brennen im lodernden Weh'n!

Spür die Hitze, das Feuer in dir
Frisst deine Hoffnung, dein letztes Pläsier
Sterne verblassen, Mond wird zu Blut
Gefangen im Netz der Höllenglut!
Kein Entkommen... Kein Licht... Nur die Pein...

Hellraiser! Dämon aus der Nacht!
Hellraiser! Hat die Macht entfacht!
Empor aus der Hölle, mit Schwefel und Wut
Er trinkt deine Angst wie glühendes Blut!
Keine Reue, kein Fleh'n, du wirst untergeh'n
Deine Seele wird brennen im lodernden Weh'n!

Brennen... Seele... Brennen!
Hellraiser!

Hellraiser

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Heavy Punk Rock 'n' Roll band turns into Synthwave nowadays! Brand NEW album "Ultraviolet Cosmos" available NOW!
https://shockthealgorithm.bandcamp.com/album/ultraviolet-cosmos

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