In GBA 131 we get better acquainted with Carl. He stops off in the middle of travelling around the world to talk neuroscience, culture, the merely real and share some stories of his travels.

Carl plugs:

"Have joy if you can in the merely real."

"Do stuff while you can because there's a fine line between can and can't and you don't want to discover it on the wrong day."

His Blog: http://themerelyreal.blogspot.com/

We mention:

BBCQT Watch-a-long:  https://www.facebook.com/events/361392280657539/
https://twitter.com/BBCQTWatchalong

Unfortunatalie: https://twitter.com/unfortunatalie

couchsurfing.org: https://www.couchsurfing.org/

Watching the English  -  Kate Fox: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Watching-English-Hidden-Rules-Behaviour/dp/0340818867

The Two Cultures - CP Snow: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Two_Cultures
 
Program or be Programmed - Douglas Rushcoff: http://www.amazon.com/Program-Be-Programmed-Commands-Digital/dp/159376426X

Centre for Applied Rationality: http://rationality.org/

You can hear Getting Better Acquainted on Stitcher SmartRadio, Stitcher allows you to listen to your favourite shows directly from your iPhone, Android Phone, Kindle Fire and beyond.

On-demand and on the go!

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Help more people get better acquainted. If you like what you hear why not write an iTunes review?

GBA 131 Carl

This week I chatted with the critically acclaimed, and multi award winner and nominee, podcaster Dave Pickering about podcasts.

You will hear:

 - Dave doing an intro about their podcasts and history with them
- why people might listen to them, what are the motivations
- the danger of neoliberalism 'self improvement' and podcasts 
- the parasocial relationships that we have with podcast hosts and guests and how much that is part of why we listen (atomised, alienated from those around us we might turn to these kinds of relationships maybe?)
- recommendations for good shows

Dave’s own projects are
 
Getting Better Acquainted
Stand Up Tragedy
The Family Tree
Down to a sunless sea: memories of my dad (I’ve listened to the first of these, it’s really moving and excellent. 
 
Current (Client) projects: 
Who Hurt You (formally Made of Human) (I sort of mentioned this)
The Restart Project 
Race Reflections AT WORK
The Breakup Monologues 
 
Check all those out via Dave’s website http://dave-pickering.squarespace.com/ 

Also follow them on twitter for their excellent recommendations (usually on a Friday) https://twitter.com/goosefat101 

Please consider supporting the Patreon for this show patreon.com/culturesexrelationships Your support means that I can get paid to make the show and I can also pay other freelance guests. The more support I get the more shows I can make. 

Speaking of shows, the easiest ones for me to make are the 'Ask Justin' advice shows. So if you have any questions about relationships, sex, your relationship to your self, you can ask me. I will anonymise your question and will also give an excellent, long, and thoughtful answer. Email culturesexrelationships at gmail dot com

Dave Pickering: Podcasts

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues

This episode is about creating things: imaginary worlds, homes and friendship. It's also about walls: drawing on walls, putting up boundaries, and pulling down the walls inside your mind and heart.

Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

The BPA Fund has a survey that I’d really appreciate you filling in if you have a few moments. You can find it here: http://podcastviews.com

For some extra incentive if you fill it in you can be entered into a draw for a £50 Amazon voucher. For the purposes of this survey “Getting Better Acquainted” counts as "Down to a sunless sea" whether you are listening to it via the GBA feed or not.

Down to a sunless sea: memories of my dad

Down to a sunless sea: Episode 10: Friendship Part 2

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues

Extra content note: PTSD, dependency/addiction, rape (touched on lightly, no descriptions)

In the fifth full episode of the podcast using content funded by the British Podcast Awards and the Wellcome Trust I talk to psychologist and epidemiologist Dr Suzi Gage from the podcast Say Why to Drugs about researching recreational drug use and mental health.

Say Why to Drugs with Dr Suzi Gage: https://podcasts.apple.com/il/podcast/say-why-to-drugs/id1114492774

Say Why to Drugs by Dr Suzi Gage: https://www.hachette.co.uk/contributor/suzi-gage/

Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

The BPA Fund has a survey that I’d really appreciate you filling in if you have a few moments. You can find it here: http://podcastviews.com

For some extra incentive if you fill it in you can be entered into a draw for a £50 Amazon voucher. For the purposes of this survey “Getting Better Acquainted” counts as "Down to a sunless sea" whether you are listening to it via the GBA feed or not.

Down to a sunless sea: Episode 11 - Drink Sangria in the park

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues

Additional content note: war, medical operations, suicidal ideation

I’m still pretty terrified of my dad stopping existing. He has been such a part of my life that it feels like a world without him in it is impossible. But ever since I was a child, I have been imagining that world. I’ve played out his death so many times. I’ve written it into fiction and songs. I’ve spent hours in my mind going through how it will be. What I might think and do. How it will affect me. How it will affect my family. And I’ve always thought it would probably happen soon. But it never has.

This episode is about confronting death and confronting love. It includes the story of my dad's war and of his heart attack and quadruple heart bypass.

Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

The BPA Fund has a survey that I’d really appreciate you filling in if you have a few moments. You can find it here: http://podcastviews.com

For some extra incentive if you fill it in you can be entered into a draw for a £50 Amazon voucher. For the purposes of this survey “Getting Better Acquainted” counts as "Down to a sunless sea" whether you are listening to it via the GBA feed or not.

Down to a sunless sea: Episode 12:  Hearts Breaking

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues

Extra content note: operations, medical procedures, assisted dying, euthanasia

In the sixth full episode of the podcast using content funded by the British Podcast Awards and the Wellcome Trust I talk to sociologist Dr Gill Haddow about embodiment, replaceable hearts, everyday cyborgs, humanimals and unhealth. This is an episode about possible futures and how we feel about our bodies.

Gill on twitter: https://twitter.com/gillhaddow

Everyday Cyborgs and Humanimals 2018: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WilTY5FF5w

Animal, Mechanical and Me: https://animalmechanicalandme.com/

Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

The BPA Fund has a survey that I’d really appreciate you filling in if you have a few moments. You can find it here: http://podcastviews.com

For some extra incentive if you fill it in you can be entered into a draw for a £50 Amazon voucher. For the purposes of this survey “Getting Better Acquainted” counts as "Down to a sunless sea" whether you are listening to it via the GBA feed or not.

Down to a sunless sea: Episode 13: New answers to old questions

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues

Additional content note: euthanasia/suicide

I realised that maybe our positions aren’t that different after all. And I wondered if, in the moments that I manage to believe in hope, I seem as inspiring and naïve as he does. It made me wonder if maybe the spark I see in him, that belief in people and ideas, if that isn’t also in me, despite my frequent feeling that it isn’t. If I might communicate that to other people regardless. If the world as humans know it lasts for long enough for me to reach a similar age as my dad, I wonder if I will be someone who frustrates and delights young people with my faith in them, whether I will still accept the possibility of hope and change?

This episode is about belief, hope and progress. It considers technological change, generational change, spiritual change and political change.

Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

Down to a sunless sea: Episode 14: André Gorz Tweet

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues

Additional content note: euthanasia/suicide

But no matter what he forgets, it can’t take away the love we have shared, that existed, and will always have existed, even when he has forgotten it; even when he is no longer alive to remember it; even when I have forgotten it; even when I am no longer alive to remember it. It happened. And that has to be enough.

This episode is about movement, memory, change, time, distance, tears, connection, therapy, sadness, love, grief and everything else that can come in waves.

Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

Down to a sunless sea: Episode 16: Waves

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues

Extra content note: grief, suicide, terminal illness, abuse, bereavement

In the final full episode of the podcast using content funded by the British Podcast Awards and the Wellcome Trust I talk to counselor and psychotherapist Karen Pollock MBACP about grief and death. This is an episode about ways of thinking (and feeling) about bereavement, therapeutic approaches to change and loss, how the systems and attitudes around and inside us effect the ways we deal with difficult things, and so much more. It is the only episode of the show that doesn't feature my dad's voice but he is very present in the conversation.

Karen on twitter: https://twitter.com/CounsellingKaz

Counselling in Northumberland: https://counsellinginnorthumberland.com/

Non-Binary Lives: An Anthology of Intersecting Identities: https://www.ubcpress.ca/non-binary-lives

The Messiness of Grief: https://counsellinginnorthumberland.com/2020/02/03/the-messiness-of-grief/

Opening the door to difficult conversations: https://counsellinginnorthumberland.com/2018/01/23/opening-the-door-to-difficult-conversations/

Death and second chances: https://counsellinginnorthumberland.com/2016/11/22/death-and-second-chances/

Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

Down to a sunless sea: Episode 17: The Box And The Jar

General content note for the series: death, dementia, old age, mental health issues

Additional content note: sex, assisted dying, war 

This episode is the last episode of the first (and possibly last) season of this show, and it's about legacy.

I’ve been planning this show for years. The earliest recording I’ve used was recorded by my dad on cassette tape in 1984. This show has covered 96 years of my dad’s life and 38 years of mine. I started recording interviews with my dad in 2011 and began writing essays about our relationship and his journey through old age towards death in 2017.

I’m glad I made this show. That it hasn’t just remained an imagined show. It’s been a tough journey at times, but it’s one I’m so glad I’ve made. Thanks for travelling on it with me.

Artwork by my brother Tony Pickering: http://www.pick-art.co.uk/

Down to a sunless sea: Episode 18: Legacy

A weekly podcast: Join Dave Pickering on his journey to get better acquainted with the people he knows. Part interview show, part oral history project and part autobiography through conversation.

British Podcast Award 2017 winner (bronze in Best Interview category)

GBA was nominated for a 2012 Radio Production Award, aired for 3 seasons on Resonance 104.4 FM and was featured on BBC Radio 4's In Pod We Trust, BBC Radio 5 Live’s Helen and Olly's Required Listening and has been recommended by The Guardian, Time Out and the Financial Times

GBA 131 Carl

Getting Better Acquainted

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