Brumal

say hi, dawn!

prod. me

Lyrics:
(do you feel do you -)
(do you hurt do you -)
(is it real are you -)
(do you feel do you -)
(do you hurt do you -)
(is it real are you -)

it's like you're still here with me
winds blow mold my face like your touch
I'd try ask "do you miss me?"
but you don't respond
how could you be gone
I'll close my eyes
and forget about the time
watch as I cry
it's rain on my cheek
connecting lines
tracing paths in sand beneath my feet
you swore you'd stay
where are you
tear my heart out
fall to the ground
words pierce my skin
tattered feelings
all this weight from my name
when you say it again
words kiss me
but I still feel pain

someone pinch me i'm still dreaming
death's beside me i'm his protégé
please speak softly words still hurt me
defy nature I still hate her
hate her
stay here
hate her
take me later
but you'll stay there
if I don't call
take a step back before you fall

everything just hurts sometimes  I
wonder what I'll feel when you die
hold your hand it's cold already
didn't tell me that you left me
beating heart as I grasp for air
feel your pulse but it's still nowhere
will you search for me when I join you

try beleive that nothings wrong
hold your hand until you're gone
hold your hand until you're
do you feel me with you
do you feel me kiss you
you - you - you
you were my everything

take back time said I would not cry but I lied
can you forgive me for the mistakes I made
thought you would never leave what we had built up
but I was wrong i'm so dumb
see your face
I watch you fade
I'll always stay just to see you again someday
do you see though the darkness i'm beside you
you're here I know you are
I won't forget your hope
it's all inside I won't leave till I die

steps lead southward spiral downward
heartbeats haunt me death still taunts me
i can still feel the past inside of my own heart
fragile it breaks like glass let it escape time's grasp

do you feel do you
do you still -
do you remember my name I'm -
do you hurt do you
hear my words
is it real are you
still there

do you feel do you hurt is it real now
cause I know that you're gone but I'll still ask "do you miss me?"
do you feel do you hurt is it real now
when you don't respond I'll hold on
for you
Talk I need to hear your voice your words surround me
embrace me with the things you could say but I can't hear you
Call out to me but we'll still just sit in silence
do you feel my hands
I just want you back
cause I loved you

death's just a step away

thaw

pull me closer
and tell me you love me
those words will never get old
that much i know

and you cant see my face
cuz its against your chest
but if you could
youd see the biggest smile in the world

ooooh
and i never want this to end
no i never want it to

i know theres not much 
to say that
i havent
already said
but as long as u don't mind
ill say it again and again

grab me tighter
and tell me you feel safe
cuz in a million years
theres nothing id rather hear

and you cant see your face
through my eyws
but if you could
youd see the prettiest girl in the world

ooooh
and i never want this to end
no i never want it to

and i know theres not much
to say that
you havent
already heard
but i hope you know
i meant every word

capture

bye bye 2023!

it’s 6am go start your day
no point in tryna fight it 
look in the mirror check myself 
who cares if i don’t like it 
don’t know how i live with this
nothing underneath i’ll get rid of it
delete all the proof all the evidence
cause i can’t be remembered looking like this


there’s broken glass
all over the floor
i see my face on the pieces
and i just wanna break them more
reflecting just hurts 
cause my reflection gets worse 
but i can’t take it back anymore
my self confidence gone 
when i’m seeing it all
i felt vulnerable with all my clothes still on 
i stepped on the glass again
my foots bleeding out 
still see my face in the fractures
i’ll never be proud

fractures (demo)

youre looking at me weird you can be honest
i can see your worry through my eyelids
if i could change so easily i would
but it always sounds so loud through the silence

i thought i left it in the past
and i was hoping i would never look back
but what was once my every moment
comes back in fleeting thoughts to remind me of my lowest

why dont you stay a bit for just a little longer
fuck me up and throw me in the corner
i cant tell how much ive really changed
cuz every now and then im stuck in the same old place
staring at the same old face

a place so familiar it hurts
a face so familiar it hurts

silence

obligatory bday post but super late lmao

Cover of Problems by Pinegrove

Problems

acapellas used:
cops and robbers
locals (girls like us)
johnny johnny johnny
shoot to kill, kill your darlings
old money bitch
uncanny long arms

bonus:
count of three (you can eat shit!)
girls & boys
old money bitch banjo
seventyseven dog years guitar

this will surely put an end to my abuse of underscores acapellas 3

on my way to newcastle
you were never just a girl
youd never hurt a soul
youre the one that heals the world

newcastle

spent the summer of 2022 making this. wrote the original draft in 2021. not much compared to what i can do now, but i figured it was worth putting out since there's a bit of an emotional attachment for me. Represents a different era of my life

yes the export/sidechain is glitched because the file is corrupted and i could fix it by jumping through some technical hoops, but it's been like that for so long i kind of just consider it part of the song

ann j gardner canyon park 2012

En serie låtar på svenska av Jethro del Cielo vilket är Mattias Erikssons artistnamn.

Sorgen står i centrum när Jethro del Cielo spelar hjärtat ur sig, och den får låta sig själv ta plats i ett försök att hantera den livsituation som han funnit sig i efter åratal spenderade med en psykisk ohälsa som ledde till att han i slutet av 2022 försökte ta sitt liv. 

Idag, i slutet av Maj, 2024, är han fortfarande vid liv. 

Han har sedan slutet av 2022 arbetat med att försöka lära sig själv, och andra, hitta ett sätt att tala om psykisk ohälsa som låter andra i den sortens situation samt deras närstående finna råd och praktiska exempel på vad som kan vara så väldigt svårt att tala om. Att hitta ord för, hitta gemensamma koncept och idéer som gör det möjligt att hitta gemensamma nämnare att förhålla sig till när man lever med en psykisk ohälsa, eller man har en närstående som gör det.

Den här plattan har att göra med allt det ovanstående, samtidigt som den förhoppningsvis låter rätt bra dessutom. 

I övrigt så kan jag meddela att all koppling till det religiösa som dyker upp här och var i texterna här inte har ett dugg att göra med något annat än att det blir som om man inte kan låta bli att kasta in ett par udda ord i låtarna som får en att låta lite frikyrklig trots ens egna totala avsaknad av allt vad religiösa ting innebär. 

Jethro del Cielo är inte ens döpt, ta mig fan.

Artistnamnet Jethro del Cielo översätts alltid till "Jethro of the Sky", alltså "Jethro från Skyn", och har att göra med de avstånd man hittar i himmelen ovanför oss. Det översätts dock ibland till "Jethro of Heaven", vilket blir "Jethro av Himmelen", vilket inte har att göra med varför Mattias Eriksson valde det namnet.

Till sist här skickar jag med er alla en innerlig önskan om att ni vet att ni alla är älskade. Varenda en av er.

Som alltid, tack för att ni lyssnat.

Signerat,
J.

Ord och melodi: Mattias Eriksson (Jethro del Cielo)

Ett Sista Steg

Sånger från en trasig själ #15 -- Ett Sista Steg

like ginseng but also like ginkgo but also like gin but also like sewn

silence

ginsewn

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