Instrumental Credits: https://www.youtube.com/@dxnnydior1277

Lyrics

Verse 1
Lights turned on
The music loud
Getting in the rhythm
It's about to go down
I would call my friends
Since I don't like to go out
But I pushed them away
So it's a solo crowd
Will I make it though the weekend
These days I'm barely sleeping
I always heard reality
Is scarier on the deep end
My fragile heart is weakened
Tearing apart I pretend
I don't want nothing at all
But that's just me on defense

Chorus
It's my party
and I'm gonna have fun
I'll play russian roulette
With a loaded gun
Wanna kill my feelings
Until I go numb
I can see my future
I don't like the outcome
It's my life yeah I can die if I want to
It's my life yeah I can die if I want to
It's my life yeah I can die if I want to
I can die when I want to
But don't know if I want to

Verse 2
Pour it up
Bout to drink some champagne
Alcohol is how I drown out the pain
Consciousness is something I can't maintain
Stumbling around the room It's a sad game
Vision kinda funny will it go black
Watch me hit my head  hear my skull crack
Slip up from a bottle till I fall back
I won't catch myself and take the impact
I set the scene
Is the mood right
Tv crowd cheers for me to die
They reassure I'll be alright
Finally I get the spotlight
I want to know what it feels like
Gasping for air I'm alive

Chorus
It's my party
and I'm gonna have fun
I'll play russian roulette
With a loaded gun
Wanna kill my feelings
Until I go numb
I can see my future
I don't like the outcome
It's my life yeah I can die if I want to
It's my life yeah I can die if I want to
It's my life yeah I can die if I want to
I can die when I want to
I can die but don't want to

GLUMNESS - Die If I Want To (Prod. dxnnydior)

GLUMNESS