https://youtu.be/OKai3vc2a0c
[original guitar score by @john-byrne-117035719]

4 - 3 - 2 - 1 - IGNITION!

Final lap dance, one last drink
but baby don’t feel sorry for me.
About to ditch the thing
that makes your boobs swing,
back up the well to where the rocks roll free.

‘Cause I’m an asteroid miner (wooh-ooh!)
like my daddy and my paw-paw was.
And yeah, I wear manliner (wooh-ooh!)
just so you would know I’m not your earthworm cuz.

I’m an asteroid miner. (miner, miner, wooh-ooh!)
I’m an as-te-ro-oid mi-i-i-i-iner (ooh)

[break]

Yeah, baby, yeah, baby, yeah!
You're part of my therapy (ye-eah!)

Out in the Belt I’m closer to God
and I thank Him for pressurizing my pod.
I shoot from the hip and trust my gut
and gut anyone that tries to steal my cut!

‘Cause I’m an asteroid miner (wooh-ooh!)
born on a hull where we drink our piss.
But I wear designer (oh-ooh-ooh!)
just to let you know I’m not your broke-ass sis.

As-teroid mi-ne-er—mine that asteroid... (owww!)

I know who to sell to, who to bribe, and who to rob.
No Martian robot’s gonna steal my job.
Got a powerful lobby in the Solar Alliance.
We say, give us better ships
but fuck your science! (yeah, fuck your science!)

And I’m not gay, not even bi-curious.
When I sleep with other men it’s because I’m “Mercurious”
It’s okay to want a penis—
just pray it away when you slingshot from Venus.

Asteroid miner—pillar of the Solar economy
Asteroid miner—never a pillar of salt for sodomy (that was never me!)
Asteroid miner—never covet my pilot's wife
Asteroid miner—but my pilot’s torso makes me feel alive...

[instrumental break]

Lap dance over but don’t worry about me—
I’m headed to a place where everything hangs free.
It’s pretty cool if you like huge diamonds.
I’ll introduce you to my best friend Simon...

Ooh, Simon! He’s my favorite asteroid miner.

Support John

Asteroid Miner (with John Byrne)

Gom Jabbar is an unapologetic musical calamity from around the world.

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