SHE DA REASON WHY I PUT MYSELF THRU HELLLL

this dope af.. uploaded it https://youtu.be/dd419SXVb74

w/ @sleepywater <3
prod @afterlife66 🖤

~~lyrics~~

easy to target
swear i’ve been honest
i’m still tryna rejuvenate
from the memories last august
ink drip from the ceiling
familiar feelings
to take time is to realize
what it really means to be healing

knees go numb when i reach for the shelf
there’s an old song that speaks of myself
but i’ve lost it; my subconscious 
won’t take away this blockage
it’s irritating; the way i hate it
all you are is full of nonsense

how you gonna say ur not into me
everytime you’re my enemy
i feel out of body
everytime im getting the…
drugs from my doctor
off a sedative, i forgot her
i feel like i deserve my happy ever after
i don't like it here, i like raptures
enrapture me for a disaster
i got wounds on me so where’s my plaster
in a room with me, i feel like casper
she don't touch me; i shatter
she dont trust me, i’m in tatters
i’m forever climbing up this
unforgiving ladder

i’m unfair & i know it
frustration; i bestow it
i’m shaking baby, yeah i’m aching,
maybe this is punishment for the broken
the sight that i see through my eye 
isn’t blind
a sigh of relief comforted by a lie
i can’t really take it, 
the pace that i’m making is 
turning me into the me i despise

fuck, i'll turn my back on ur ass & won't
 give it a thought or the time of the day
it doesn't matter, the wounds & the plaster are begging me
“autumn, you just gotta change”
if i go any faster, my body will splatter
 yet i'll be alive, put me outta the pain 
i pick up the fragments of me that just happen
to still be in tact, even after the rain

everything i spew out
i tell the same story
bout how you don't want me
never ever want me
how comes ur all up on me
i pull u, you don’t pull me
im stressed out, can't relax
another pill, i might relapse

i just don’t get it how this life
taught revenge and left me behind
no time to cry…
cause in the end you’ll be fine

how you gonna say ur not into me
everytime you’re my enemy
i feel out of body
everytime im getting the…
drugs from my doctor
off a sedative, i forgot her
i feel like i deserve my happy ever after
i don't like it here, i like raptures
enrapture me for a disaster
i got wounds on me so where’s my plaster
in a room with me, i feel like casper
she don't touch me; i shatter
she dont trust me, i’m in tatters
i’m forever climbing up this
unforgiving ladder

wounds & plaster w/ sleepwater [prod. afterlife]

VERSE 1

(epitome)

i solidify the thoughts inside my head
the thoughts that are telling me i’m better off dead
no matter what you say to me
6 feet deep is where i’ll be
as the light from the tunnel grows darker and darker
my mind grows farther and farther away
please stay
stay with me
don’t leave my body alone to decay

VERSE 2

(paperthinwalls)

this is the last time i hope you see me 
(hope you see me)
6 feet underneath i’m not breathing 
it’s too late to go back
i cant run to the past
you left me shattered like glass
knew this would never last
it doesn’t matter i’ll be dead in the morning
body lined with chalk yeah i’m never returning 
i’m writing all these songs yeah this is my warning 
never had a place yeah this doesn’t concern me
oh oh oh
i’m burning it’s ok
i’m learning (i’m learning)
i’m so alone
got nobody i feel like a ghost

BRIDGE

(epitome)

i’m so alone 
i’m so close
to letting go
of the life i use to know

VERSE 3 (shared)

(epitome)

p-p-p-pain is never ending 
i cant find the beginning
my minds at war
don’t know what i’m searching for
a sense of hope maybe?
but i can’t find that lately (lately)

(paperthinwalls)

and lately i’ve been lost in this dream
and no hope of ever escaping
and oh god yeah look what you made me
i’m sorry it’s these feelings that change me

OUTRO

(epitome)

i’m so sorry
please for give me
i cant change
i know i’ll stay the same

spotify <3

longing for death w/ paperthinwalls (metlast x luffy)

produced by branwen

completely non profit

lyrics

turn it up turn it up for another night
getting drunk on a sunday till the morning light
waking up in a monday in a strangers bed
i think i finished all my drinks theyre in my fuckin head

holy shit here i go again
i been off my meds for a while
n im a god again
i dont really know who i am
n im alright with it
at least im being honest
if it hurts then u dont feel regret

ur head will hurt in the morning
u dont give a fuck
shes kinda cute might as well go n try ur luck
she thought that i was 25 holy wtf
so this wont go past tonight idgaf

19 i make connections when in drunk until i break them when im sober
in my heart im older
i bleed from underneath the scotch tape thats holding me together
its forever

why waste my time writing all these fucking metaphors
im still in love with the person that i met before
gave her my heart n she threw it on the fucking floor
i find it hard just to trust cus in the end
fucked my best friend
said she wishing i was dead
u live in my head
both u n him
and its such a mess 
that u have left
that u have left
that u have left

(hero)

i find it funny how we repeat such a cycle here again
shits so toxic its obnoxious she refuse to leave my head
and im okay with that, as okay with being sliced in half
"i got a thing for artists" oh i want ur take on that
chugging octane to experience a numbness when she on me
stop me, id like to see u try oh u could never
sulfate to really rub the cut into my skin
with scotch tape to wrap the fatal wound once again

scotchtape & sulfates ft. hero (branwen)

i can't tell lies
with this cup in my hand 
i can't love life
being who i am 
the place my body lies
is where u left me
the place my body lies
is where u killed me  

i can't tell lies
with this cup in my hand 
i can't love life
being who i am 
the place my body lies
is where u left me
the place my body lies
is where u killed me 

u hurt me again
fuck all of ur reasons
ur fucked in the head 
alone in the end 
fuck ur fucking treason
ur fucked in the head 
i gave you all my love
when i had nothing left
u never gave it back
so aknowledge u fucked my path 

look, the seasons changing
sunny days but it's still raining 
the look u gave me
i always knew that u fucking hate me 
stop, with all the blaming 
if u shut up i'll simply take it
ur attitude is still the same and
i know that u won't change it	


i can't tell lies
with this cup in my hand 
i can't love life
being who i am 
the place my body lies
is where u left me
the place my body lies
is where u killed me  

i can't tell lies
with this cup in my hand 
i can't love life
being who i am 
the place my body lies
is where u left me
the place my body lies
is where u killed me

i can't tell lies with this cup (vyle & rxhff)

prodbylxcid
https://youtube.com/@prodbylxcid

vocals, mix & master by wrentek

flame needa light my spliff
really miss my dawgs on nights like this
we were jus 16 started scheming 
i need big stars in the roof of my whip
need big stars wrapped inside of my spliff
heat wave ting how i fry these pricks
don’t smoke reggie, all u boys just fiend and
i stay with the pine, sugar free, i sip 

and u can get hit by the white boy quick
big tommy gun how i throw these fists
one left hand put u on ur knees and 
i don’t like violence but try my clique 
one hand drivin i don’t even whip
jack line bumpin he don’t even fish 
that’s triple 3 on the set and it’s 139
on my own i don’t need no bitch 
need no whip
need no bits 
bro got the corn, he aint eatin crisps 
bullseye the shot n he don’t even miss 
like OTN know who ur dealing with 
cus u can get hit with a big 4.5
not from me but from bro, that’s slime 
leave you with a hole in ur chest like shepard
soap mctavish how i throw this knife 
sittin on the shed, sippin lean i’m nice
“big crime lords” but u stealing bikes ?? 
30 year olds goin out on rides
hittin kids in school, 
u ain’t about that life 

so i’ll sit here now for a little bit
if you wanna swing 
just swing 
make a call and get gone
i don’t  wannatalk to civilians 
cus they ain’t about shit 
all this fuckin talkin is long
i don’t ride on opps 
just a little one two
beef on the estate 
grab a knife and get armed
all these broke boys 
sharing spliff and i 
don’t wanna have to expose 
what u really is on 

so slow ur role
watch the roads
look both ways before u shoot that pole
b town shit 
fuck ur road 
i don’t wanna 
see another yout 
turn cold 

pass me the flame needa light my spliff
really miss my dawgs on nights like this
we were jus 16 started scheming 
i need big stars in the roof of my whip
need big stars wrapped inside of my spliff
heat wave ting how i fry these pricks
don’t smoke reggie, all u boys just fiend and
i stay with the pine, sugar free, i sip 

and u can get hit by the white boy quick
big tommy gun how i throw these fists
one left hand put u on ur knees and 
i don’t like violence but try my clique 
one hand drivin i don’t even whip
jack line bumpin he don’t even fish 
that’s triple 3 on the set and it’s 139
on my own i don’t need no bitch

SOAP MACTAVISH

ly caspy <33

lyrics:

waking up the same as u left me
pillies to the brain, i got plenty
tell me run away in the bentley
take away the pain that u fed me

im in the function
n i cannot function 
lung combusting
repercussion
u on sum fuck shit
playing me, percussion
~death wish~
blood gon drip my neck like issa necklace
name on top my wrist, look like a setlist
wake up, bake the bowl, this shit not even breakfast
eating breakfast
i be on my dread shit
blood gon drip my neck like issa necklace
name on top my wrist, look like my setlist

{casperrr}
i tried to run
but i an't fast
tried to fight 
but i knew i wouldn't last
these feelings
kicked my ass
but there's no way
i am ever going back 
wake up
drag myself outta bed again
face up
tryna face my oldest fucking friend
sadness
i think this is the end
timeless
im afraid i have no time left 

putting all my songs on her playlist
goth bitch
stare me in me eyes and
she looks flawless
falling 
deep into a faucet
i ain't notice
wore my heart on my sleeve
until you came and u broke it

{shizukesa + casperrr}
waking up the same as u left me
pillies to the brain, i got plenty
tell me run away in the bentley
take away the pain that u fed me

follow spotify!

death_wish w/ casperrr (yung rospo)

shoutout to everyone in this song ily all :) <3
prod. sorrow bringer (goat)
mix: epitome, kanashi, autumn, casperrr
master: epitome

EPITOME:

if you look into my blackened soul 
you’ll see i’ve begun to decompose 
and with nothing but a rope around my neck
i’ll hang in the gallows dead
hold back the tears you’ll shed
leave all the words unsaid
i was hanging on by a thread
it’s better off instead 
that i’m 6 feet deep beneath the surface
i’ve said this once i know i’m worthless
i fall short of being perfect 
can you show me that i’m worth it
am i worth saving?
my body’s decaying
my flesh is rotting 
i feel like a zombie
i think the ends approaching
i feel it upon me
now i know i’m not worth saving 
i’m trying but it doesn’t seem to be enough
no one gives a fuck
i don’t even know what i’ve become
(can you tell me what i’ve become i give in too easy oh the end has just begun)

KANASHI:

Ion even know what I’ve become 
shits got me so fucked up…
And pls don’t wake me 
I’m busy taking a break from life
Ion wanna be a part of this anymore 
One foot in and the other out the door 
Cuz nothing lasts forever 
So just toss me like a wrapper on the floor…

AUTUMN:

i can't tell tonight apart from all them in the past
i can speak, i can breathe, but my brain is gonna gache
if you feed off of me, hope you like consuming trash
waking up inside this bed 
is something i'd rather not have
i'm tearing at my skin
could it get much worse than this
that's the only thing i'd ask
besides when you'll text me back

CASPERRR:

don't you text me back 
please i don't wanna relapse
feel this agonizing pressure on my chest
i can't breathe,i can't eat i can't get no rest  

fucked up, over what u told me
u left and now i'm lonely 
got 5gs and smoked that whole shit, holy-moly
u really said i was ur only
that guy was just a homie 
and now im dyin slowly, lonely

epitomeoffailure x kanashi x autumndropsdead x casperrr - blackened soul (sorrow bringer)

produced by: jolst + homesick 
vocals, mixing & mastering by me 

lyrics: 


felt the whole room change when she stepped in
she got fire in her blood she electric
he would kill for her if she would let him 
but she holds his hand tight to prevent it “whered u stay? whered u go? whered u check in?”
it’s a little bit too much
but he expects it 
and it’s more than his face shes obsessed with
she wants his blood
oh i bet tastes expensive 

and in the moonlight of his death
she’ll lay her hands upon her chest and rest
for a while
until this city summons her again,
look down at this place and she can’t help
but crack a smile 
she collects and carries souls from these men
those pretty words she says fu-fu- fuck with my head 
a soft spoken queen til he lays in her bed 
in the morning 
and when it’s time my love will you please heed me with a warning 

and these doors are locked shut, so just bleed
she can’t see anything 
through her mask full of greed
just breathe
bury me 
in the leaves 
by the trees
curse the lips that got me here 
and she ice, so i freeze 
shes a spirit; baby turn my skin white promise i wont leave 
everybody want her but don’t want those punctures from her teeth
i thought vampires were stories
eyes turned black, i couldn’t believe 
on this night this wooden floor is the only thing under me 

my eyes open finally to 6 feet 
of mud
throat is dry, and my hands feel numb 
last thing i remember was the slow slow cut 
i can smell the copper on my clothes
i’m covered in blood
so i push, i pray, i cry, i hope that i get out this rut
she laughs, and i can hear her, though it’s muffled and i’m stuck 
she told me “boy you shoulda turned around when i asked u what’s up”
and then she smile, put a dress on, to the next party she struts 

felt the whole room change when she stepped in
she got fire in her blood she electric
he would kill for her if she would let him 
but she holds his hand tight to prevent it “whered u stay? whered u go? whered u check in?”
it’s a little bit too much
but he expects it 
and it’s more than his face shes obsessed with
she wants his blood
oh i bet tastes expensive

souleater (jolst + homesick)

[+ Tosha]

1st - @user-411557229 
2nd - @northshoremusic 
3rd - @emptychest 
4th - @torvamia 
5th - @strivemusicau 
6th - @caspywaspy 
7th - @soulfadexo 
8th - @x1fern 
9th - @noxious-nights 
10th - @navyxower 
11th - @shizukesaaa 
12th - @hoeplessboy

Holding Onto Something [+ Tosha x Kev]

double xl bape tee
it feel better when it drape me
i know i’m never on time
sorry if i kept u waiting
double c on my cologne 
it’s always blue just like my mood
she not used to hearing no
and so she loves it when im rude

she the reason why i put myself thru hell
i’m the reason why she mad u can’t buy her chanel
way too faded so she taking off my belt
i know “i love u” is just a lie u tell
um i been flying to close to the sun
um sorry baby i know i can’t be the one
um she start catching feelings and i gotta run
i don’t like it when they like me back the chase is fun

She keeps on
Coming back to me
Ignore th signs and jus say yes to all this tragedy
It says a lot ab u if im honest
U see its chronic
But somehow wants to stick around coz of these melodys

She saw 16 bottles
Still I couldnt open up
Goin full throttle
In th backroom & im thrown up
Toxic waste it surrounds us 
How it was growin up
Safest place, it grounds us
But we’re stuck inside th substance 
Its so fucked

she the reason why i put myself thru hell
i’m the reason why she mad u can’t buy her chanel
way too faded so she taking off my belt
i know “i love u” is just a lie u tell
um i been flying to close to the sun
um sorry baby i know i can’t be the one
um she start catching feelings and i gotta run
i don’t like it when they like me back the chase is fun

too close2 th sun w/ maesk (secre x splashgvng)

by the graves in the dark
*hold my hand*
i cant see, not even spark
on this land, fall apart

i just played you, im not smart
dripping faucets, hear the bark
from the dogs
in the old mans house

nothing's ever worse than getting high
yeah i said it right
laying down
my gaves been settled there
on my house
in my dreams, i just lay there
every night
i swear it comes back, daily and im 
ripped apart!

you could never tell, 
*that i been there*
yeah i hear all of the stories that ur telling them
everyone whos me, knows that im nothing like that
ur garbage human being, and there's no coming back

i just wanted die, good thing you'd never understand
i know i got too close to it, the days were running thin
outt line
really outta time

running through the trees, yeah im running through the breeze
now its set, im crying help!
no one ever talks now
this shi*s like poetry, im just tryna help myself. 

im just tryna walk my way out of this hell
im just tryna make a name to feed myself
the photos never really cut it, its an act im sorry please
dont just cut me off cause im not rich as i seemed
blood all on  my sheets
you name keeps ringing back amongst the graves, i just need to find some peace, oh well

nothing's ever worse than getting high
yeah i said it right
laying down
my gaves been settled there
on my house
in my dreams, i just lay there
every night
i swear it comes back, daily and im 
ripped apart!

you could never tell, 
*that i been there*
yeah i hear all of the stories that ur telling them
everyone whos me, knows that im nothing like that
ur garbage human being, and there's no coming back

grave 2 (prod. AsharpTheOne)

@hollowbodyco
mgmt: @luckeyknows
https://www.instagram.com/goneafteraugust

it's gonna be okay

too close2 th sun w/ maesk (secre x splashgvng)

goneafteraugust

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