(Free WAV Download available here under '••• More'; and eventually, as part of a future solo album)

Sometimes the synchronicities come together so perfectly, you can’t help but laugh. I’ve been working on this song for a few weeks now; a piece inspired by a charmingly snarky friend of mine, from my favorite chat group. And on the day I planned to release it, I discover it’s also our host’s birthday. So it is with great excitement that I get to dedicate this quirkiest of songs to our dear friend Eddie Shook; the host of ‘Anything Goes’ (now broadcasting on alt-Thursdays on Mixlr (http://mixlr.com/sleepy-bass-radio/); then uploaded to Mixcloud (https://www.mixcloud.com/DJMenamenasta/)). Thank you Eddie, for 4.5 fantastic years (at least, that’s when I joined in. Haha) of great music; and for introducing me to a wonderful new circle of friends. You truly know how to put together an evocative and entertain show; and draw a kind and friendly audience as well.

Now to share some of the funnest things that have resulted from Eddie’s show over the years, starting with the title of this song… *nudges Janine gently into the spotlight*. Thanks to Eddie's generosity, my music has made an appearance pretty much every week since I discovered ‘Anything Goes’. My songs are usually nestled in between a modern day band emulating the electro sounds of the 80s or 90s, and a band authentically from the 60s or 70s (the show is very diverse, as the title suggests). Two shows ago, as my latest creation was playing, Janine made the comment ‘Your music always has this Subversive Robot Leprechaun element’, and everyone in the chat room loved the comment. After a brief discussion, we concluded… I needed to make that song. And so here it is. And thank you, Janine… for being the impetus behind this one. :)

Next wonderful story. Even before I discovered ‘Anything Goes’, Carlos was already a regular attendee in chat. When I first heard his music, I was honestly overwhelmed. My ears were not prepared for his depth and breadth of instrumental skill, and his time signatures quite simply boggled my mind. But after several shows I began to see the brilliance in the structure; and after several more, I began to ask questions. Carlos is truly generous with his knowledge, and he always takes time to explain musical concepts to me. Just listening to the show, I learned so much about music theory. Recently, Carlos generously offered to teach me some music theory basics (as well as how to actually play piano), and now a whole new phase of my life has begun… at the age of 52. And after just a few lessons, I can now play several musical scales and chords (like the Minor Pentatonic scales, as well as finally understanding that whole Circle of Fifths and Fourths thingy). So thank you, thank you, thank you, my friend. I can’t put into words how exciting this is for me.

And then of course there are all the collaborative projects that have resulted from this show (and the connections that I’ve made). I’m now at 20 collaborations/remixes; all with people I discovered (or actually met) on the show… and it’s a spectacular list: Carlos, Janine, Darren and Kelley (Keldari Station), Johanna (jOjO’Star), Stoney (Stone Catcherye), Jason (Asleep with Headphones and Lazy Dada, and also the generous provider of the Mixlr account), Michael (Think Good Audio), Frank and Kara (Honor in Treason), and Cheryl and Bevan (Vague Notion). I’m honored to have met all these talented musicians, and privileged to have worked with many of them. So… many thanks to all of you as well.

So there you go, Eddie. Thank you for everything. Happy birthday, my friend. I hope you are having a wonderful day today. And I hope this quirky little song puts a smile on your face. I look forward to chatting with you again next Thursday. :)

And for the rest of you SC music lovers, I hope you enjoy ‘Subversive Robot Leprechaun’. :D

WTF! The Musical

Subversive Robot Leprechaun

(Free WAV Download available here under '••• More'; and eventually as part of my BandCamp PWWO #07 album)

It is with unbridled glee that I finally get to share a (long overdue) first collab with our dear friend, and ambient artist extraordinaire, Jo (https://soundcloud.com/minimal_drone_grl, https://minimaldronegrl.bandcamp.com/). The results are quite exciting, to say the least. We hope you enjoy our sonic adventure, 'Flora's Beautiful Dream'. :)

And now for our little story...

The first signs of morning sunlight appear above the mountain’s rock covered peaks, as the Earth spins us around to witness the brilliance of another new day. Bright rays shine visibly through the morning mist, and dewdrops sparkle like diamonds among the tree leaves as the valley below slowly fills with warmth and light. 

Flora watches from her vantage point high above; witnessing her friends in the forest come alive to greet another day; and the people in the city streets down in the valley below come alive to serve another day. She’s watched this dance for many years; the forest remaining peaceful in its ancient perfection; the people below growing ever more unsatisfied as they strive for an illusionary and strangely unattainable perfection of their own.
	
This idea might sound sad to you and I. But over the years she has also seen miracles occur among us. From her vantage point she sees us like fields of energy; and the majority of that energy looks rather stagnant and mucky, like cesspools of unmoving water, unaware of the renewing stream we have been cut off from. But once in a while, an explosion of light energy will burst outward from a single house or apartment building, as someone becomes disenfranchised from their false identity, and their hearts open up to new ideas for the first time.

Surprisingly, these changes often occur after great loss. And she suspects this is due to the fragility of our illusion. She sees how lost we all are in these roles and characters we have built for ourselves, and she sees how quickly that false identity can shatter when we lose the things we prioritized the most. The loss of a relationship or loved one, a terminal illness in the body, the end of a career, a complete collapse in financial stability… when we lose the things we thought mattered most to us, some of us experience a miraculous opportunity for awakening to the truth that we were never those things to begin with. 

Flora lovingly watches the majority of us grow more sickly and stagnant with time. And she never loses hope… because every evening, she has the same beautiful dream. 

In her mind, the first signs of morning sunlight appear above the mountain’s rock covered peaks, as the Earth spins us around to witness the brilliance of another new day. Bright rays shine visibly through the morning mist, and dewdrops sparkle like diamonds among the tree leaves as the valley slowly fills with warmth and light. 

But even brighter still are the explosions of light energy bathing the valley down below. After so many truly dark nights, many of us finally wake up the next morning to discover we were never all the things we lost in the night. In fact, we are something much larger. And as our energy explodes out, and the laws of attraction take hold, these simultaneous bursts prove to be strong and frequent enough to cause a chain reaction… and the whole valley lights up brighter than the sun itself. 

We have finally realized we are simply conscious life, and nothing more. And in our new found freedom from identity, we all begin again.

Flora slumbers peacefully, knowing full well… this dream will some day come true.

PWWO07

Flora's Beautiful Dream | Minimal_Drone*GRL & GrevusAnjl

(Free WAV Download available here under '••• More'; and eventually as part of my BandCamp PWWO #07 album)

Good morning all you wonderful music loving people. And what a beautiful Monday morning it is; made all the better by this enticing new track Clive (https://soundcloud.com/winkandwoo, https://audius.co/winkandw00) and I just finished. It’s our first collaborative effort; and the results are spectacular, if I do say so myself.

As to the backdrop for this piece... it feels surreal, traversing this world of sleepers, lost in their own self-created daydreams and nightmares. It’s a bizarre balancing act, wanting to play a helpful part in this underground movement of consciousness and unconditional love, while also trying to accept that there are many who simply don’t want to wake up from this troubling dream. But in the end, our fate will be shared across the entire planet. And the full range of choices must be recognized and honored, for this grand adventure to play out to its fullest potential.

The old saying ‘It is always darkest before the dawn’ seems like an apt concept to focus on these days. And it’s helpful to remember, great beauty can still arise from the murkiest of waters and most inhospitable of soils. Times might seem dark right now, and we are most definitely heading toward some unprecedented troubling chapters. But it is still just a story; the human story. And we all get to chose our roles, and play our parts. I’m personally quite fond of the ‘kindness and compassion’ approach myself. But there are as many roles to play as there are humans on this planet; so choose wisely, and follow your bliss. In the end, that might be all that matters. 

Clive and I hope you enjoy our first collaborative effort, ’Stay Asleep’. :)

Stay Asleep | winkandwoo & GrevusAnjl

(Free WAV Download available here under '••• More'; and eventually, as part of a future solo album)

Latin, literally ‘not having control of one's mind’.

If there was ever a time in my life when I questioned the sanity of the world, this would be it. So many things are not working; and so many people in power seem to want to keep it that way. How does one maintain hope (and provide others hopeful ideas), when the daily news tells such a different story? At what point do the hopeful messages just feel out of touch, rather than helpful?

Bo Burnham’s comedy special ‘Inside’ (on Netflix, but you can find several skits on YouTube as well) should be recommended viewing for all human beings right now. It’s a brilliantly insightful and snarky view of the world we live in, and a candid peek into his struggles facing that world. Half charming, half alarming… he is unapologetic and razor sharp in how he interprets the modern age. Here’s a line from one of the opening songs that really hit home for me:

"The more I look, the more I see nothing to joke about. Is comedy over? Should I leave you alone? Cause really who's gonna go for joking at a time like this? Should I be joking at a time like this? I wanna help to leave this world better than I found it. And I fear that comedy won't help, and the fear is not unfounded."

This so accurately summarizes how I feel right now. Is what I’m doing helping? Or does (you pick the hot topic driving you nuts at the moment) seem so out of control, that I seem out of touch with reality… trumpeting loving and hopeful messages in the face of the chaos? 

In the end, I feel there are only two paths available to us at any given time; activity and inactivity. I don’t know that the specific activity matters as much as the drive and purpose behind that activity. I suspect the point is simply to do anything positive that tells the universe where your heart and intent are focused. The alternative… inactivity probably looks a lot like freezing in your tracks, getting lost in fear (or anger, which I consider a sub-category of fear)… and refusing to (or feeling like you can’t) move forward. It’s pretty easy to imagine how that energy won’t be helping anyone… especially you.

So maybe it’s as simple as just doing something that seems meaningful to you. Maybe that means protesting. Or donating to causes that align with your values. It might be conserving water, limiting waste, and recycling. Perhaps it’s providing your services and skills to someone in need; or simply smiling at someone as you pass them on the street. And it can also take the form of artistic and creative expression; a valuable offering for people in need of evocative images, sounds and ideas. All of these things hold power. And all are important in my mind. So rather than questioning whether we’re doing the right things, or enough of the right things… maybe we just need to follow our hearts (not our minds), and see where that leads us. Our hearts already seem to know us better than we know ourselves anyway. Let’s try trusting that little fellow, and see where it takes us.

I hope you enjoy my latest sonic adventure, ‘Non Compos Mentis’. :)

Non Compos Mentis

(Free WAV Download available here under '••• More'; and eventually, as part of a future solo album)

Greetings all you fun and funky SC musicians. I don’t typically upload remastered versions of a song as a new track. I usually just replace the old with the new, and change the title to reflect the remaster. But this one is special, for a few reasons (and if you’re not much into personalized mixing details, you may want to skip this liner note).

First (and most importantly)… I thought I’d lost the ability to edit the original tracks for this song. The last time I opened it up in Logic (updating it for the 2018 album remaster), the siren voices were all messed up (automation in Alchemy can have odd results sometimes). I just assumed the original native file was broken forever, because I no longer had access to that version of Logic. I had to do the album remaster from my only existing mix… and it was definitely lacking.

4 years later, I’m so glad I took a chance on reopening the native file when I concluded this ‘Siren’ trilogy. All the sounds/automations were exactly as I had left them. Prior to this attempt, I just assumed the worst, and never tried again. Thankfully, I was wrong. :D

Second… the remaster turned out much better than I hoped; and the differences were so satisfying, I thought it might be fun to have both versions up (for a side by side comparison, for any interested musicians out there. Here's the older version: https://soundcloud.com/grevusanjl/siren-rising).

So why does this one sound so much better than the original version? (And please take all of this with a grain of salt. I’m no pro. But I have discovered what works for me.)

Honestly, a tremendous amount of credit goes to having a much better understanding of Compression. For many folks, Compression is almost a dirty word. Just the title of the plug-in alone confused me at first. Why would I possibly want to compress my sounds, when I liked them as is? 

But it turns out (for me at least) that the different Compression options really shine when chosen specifically, and used minimally. As an example (and I’m not sure if your DAW offers similar options, but), Studio VCA works brilliantly with strings, female vocals and many of my favorite synths. But Studio FET works great on drums. Etc. And while some might cringe at the idea, I absolutely love what Soft Distortion does to most tracks as well. Used in mild amounts, Soft Distortion adds a phenomenal amount of spacial quality to the sound. I don’t use this one all of the time, but I bet I use it at least 75% of the time now (and Compression in general on about 95% of the tracks).  So there you go… I’m definitely a big fan of Compression… when used responsibly. :)

In addition, I’ve also learned a lot about EQing since I first did this song in 2017; so much so, that I was actually baffled by some of my earlier choices. So a large amount of the repair/update time for the 2022 remaster was spent on getting the EQing for each track set up more effectively.

And finally, I had the opportunity to give the full mix a healthy rebuild. After 5 years, you’re undoubtedly going to have a very fresh perspective on a piece. And I realized a lot of the sounds simply weren’t in their optimal positions in the stereo field. I also reconsidered where sounds faded in and out, and how intensely they did so… and I updated all of that as well. 

And there you have it, the story/history behind one of my all time personal favorites. I’m so glad I had an opportunity to revisit this one (while leaving all the original instruments true to form), and I hope you enjoy all the latest sound enhancements as well. I’m excited to hear what you think of my ’Siren Rising (2022 Remaster)’. :D

Siren Rising - 2022 REMASTER

(Free WAV Download available here under '••• More'; and eventually, as part of a future solo album)

Good morning my SC friends. 

So… this is now a thing I created. o.o

Turns out, I had a few pints of bitter ennui that were about to expire (hidden in the wine cellar of my soul). And rather than letting it go to waste, I decided to uncork the whole lot. 

Needless to say, it proved quite fumigating. And when I woke from the haze and daze of the experience… this track was the surprising end result of breathing in those iffy gasses. 

All snark aside, it was actually quite cathartic, creating something so… apocalyptic (for me). My wife and I have always laughed at the fact that, even though I was a huge fan of industrial/goth (Front 242, Nine Inch Nails, KMFDM, etc.) in my youth… my personal creations surprisingly never went that dark. ‘Blues Clues does a cover of Bauhaus’ was about as close as I could get.

But over the last few years, my headspace has changed a wee bit (and I’m sure many of you are in the same boat). It’s as if the happier sounds seem a little out of touch with reality these days. And I’m not saying I don’t want to return to those spaces ever again. But I am discovering that my music flows more naturally, if I honor whatever comes of it (rather than trying to run everything through the taffy pull of insincere chipperness).

So I guess the moral of this story might be… if you are feeling stressed/depressed/angry/afraid, those emotions provide a great opportunity for growth, if you channel them into something creative. Nothing helps me process my emotions better than a deep dive into self reflective writing, or creating smart-ass art, or sculpting a song with some sharper edges. It’s like the old saying goes… if you don’t go within, you go without. And oppressed and buried feelings and emotions will only fester over time. Plus, it’s amazing how often that self-made monster in the closet turns out to be nothing more than a giant dust bunny… when you shine a light on it.

I hope you enjoy my latest, and perhaps darkest (and we’re talking ‘SpongeBob does a cover of Skinny Puppy’ dark) offering, ‘WTF! The Musical’. :)

[Oh, and another tip of the hat to my dear friend Carlos. I was able to make good use of my Major Blues Scales lessons here. Thank you muchly. :D]

(Free WAV Download available here under '••• More'; and eventually, as part of a future solo album)

Greetings my friends. I admit up front, this is a strange write-up… culminating from years of trying to navigate a world that no longer makes sense to me. And maybe that’s a good thing. We all needed a wake up call to just how ineffective and unsustainable it all is? And the last few years have provided examples of that… in abundance. 

Speaking of abundance (or in this case, lack thereof), Cheer and I have been discussing this one a lot lately; specifically in regards to the shops and restaurants we frequent. I finally gave up on building a DIY, music-centric desk I designed, because none of the local hardware stores had enough of the pieces in stock. We’ve watched our favorite Romaine lettuce disappear from the shelves, to be replaced by something half the size and twice the cost. Several of our favorite restaurants have closed permanently, and the wait times at others is painfully long now. 

Apparently, shop and restaurant owners can’t get anybody to work for $15/hr when it costs $30/hr to afford rent and groceries now. (How could we have ever predicted or prevented that? One might speculate.)

It’s enough to make the average mind go a little panicky. “Why don’t you have that in stock?”, ‘Why did the price on this just double overnight?”, “Why have we been waiting for 20 minutes just for the menus?”. All of these are very real, and very concerning… specifically if we never stop to question how much of that thinking is the result of being programmed to think like consumers our whole lives.

How often have you heard a commercial say something along the lines of “You deserve this because you are worth it.” Or “You should fear this. And our product/service can protect you.” Or “You should take this prescription, despite the list of side effects being longer than the list of benefits.”

I suggest we ask ourselves ‘Am I thinking with the mind of a consumer right now?’, and then be very willing to let those developing thoughts roll around in our heads for a while. 

Cheer and I concluded (with minor alarm) that we are both profoundly brainwashed by ‘consumer’ thinking; and it shows every time we feel a sense of panic in the store. Sure, things are a bit more scarce than they were 5 years ago… but does anyone (old enough) remember 30 years ago, when the stores contained half of what they offer now? (And none of us were freaking out over a lack of choices then). How about a time when you couldn’t have something shipped to your door overnight (many of us can still remember a time when 6-8 weeks was a decent shipping window).

Maybe the path to changing this paradigm is for us to get out of that ‘consumer’ thinking, and focus more on a ‘grateful for all the amazing things we have’ kind of thinking. I can still go to the store and choose from an abundance of fruits and vegetables, a teetering display of chips and dips, a bevy of beers from around the world. There are still more choices than my simple brain truly wants to think through, even if they are sold out of the Smoked Salmon and Ketchup flavored Cheetos I was specifically looking for.

So my plan going forward is to TASER myself (at least psychologically) every time I catch my brain being consumery. And the goal is to reach a point where I’m not thinking “It’s not fair my favorite restaurant closed.”, but instead thinking “How cool is it that I had that experience; and got to support the family that owned and worked that restaurant.” 

We’ve reached some critical tipping points that are well on their way to determining our future; and I believe a healthy attitude (dipped in gratitude) is the thing that’s going to keep us from gnawing each other’s faces off over the long haul. Them’s my weird thoughts for the day. Take em with a grain of salt (assuming the store carries the brand you like). I hope you enjoy my latest musical offering, ‘I’ll See It When I Believe It”. :)

I'll See It When I Believe It

(Free WAV Download available here under '••• More'; and eventually, as part of a future solo album)

Greetings my SC friends. I have a fun one to share with you today. In fact, it might exceed the legal limits for perky and quirky… so don’t go driving under the influence. :D

So here we are, choking down the remainder of January 2023 (try it with the honey mustard. It goes down a lot easier). Here in the US, many of us are trying to make the most of this potentially quieter year, as we count down to what I like to call Apocalyptageddon (otherwise known as the 2024 Presidential Election).

Despite (or perhaps in the face of) the ‘OMGHOLYSHITARGH!!!’ going on everywhere, I’m seeing the most interesting evolutions in this community. And it’s not just me noticing this. I’ve recently read quite a few comments about how much people have grown creatively. I’m seeing huge strides in the musical skills and songs of so many of our SC friends, many in just the past year. And I have a theory for why that is… and I am prepared to demonstrate…

Imagine for a moment that you are a human being with feelings. Someone comes up to you and says “I love who you turned out to be. You have a great mind and a great imagination. Your creations are quite magical. And I really want to spend more time in your space, seeing what you do next.”

If you’re like me, and I know I am (line blatantly stolen from a favorite MST3K), positive reinforcement like that is tremendously motivating. I can’t wait to get back to my creative space to see if I can make something even more awesome the next time. I know to a certain degree, that’s just me feeding my ego. But let’s face it. Ego is the Operating System we have been provided in this lifetime; and it does love to feed (it’s overfeeding that leads to bloating, so just try to keep to healthier serving sizes).

Now imagine again that you are one of those peeps with feels. Someone comes up to you and says “You suck. You’re worthless. You always will be.”

I personally find this slightly less motivating. And if you already have a less than ideal self esteem, that kinda crap sinks in deep and destroys confidence.

I think the point I’m trying to make is, the human experience isn’t meant to be a hermit-like adventure. I’m pretty sure loving ourselves for just being us may be one of the highest achievable goals. But as long as the ego is in the pilot’s seat, we need interaction (both verbal and physical). We need validation. We need to feel like our lives are meaningful. And we get that from each other. But it’s important to remember a subtlety… we also have the privilege of giving that to each other. And giving might actually be more beneficial to the soul than getting, where this gift is concerned.

This is where so many of you come in. You are the kind and loving voices, letting people know they’re doing great. You take the time to remind them, their creative explorations are worth the effort. Many of you motivated me to try harder through positive reinforcement, and even direct guidance. And I happily watch as you continue to do the same for the folks just starting up. You’re a beautiful bunch of people, and I admire you greatly. 

So please, you wonderful souls, keep doing what you’re doing; both being creative and being supportive. We all benefit from the kindness this group generates. We are all inspired to be better people through the actions of those who help us out along the way. You are all a huge positive influence in my life, and I hope I can be the same for you. Let’s make 2023 obnoxiously loving, friendly and funny. Let’s brighten this world again, dancing naked on the dining room table, a rose clamped tightly between our teeth.

I hope you enjoy my latest sonic meandering ‘Choosing Our Own Adventure’. :)

Choosing Our Own Adventure

(Free WAV Download available here under '••• More'; and eventually as part of my BandCamp PWWO #07 album)

Good afternoon my SC music friends. I have a really nice one to share with you today. It’s my first time collaborating with the exceptional and enigmatic ambient artist, Wodwo (https://soundcloud.com/user-364196783-552705040, https://rayrobinson.bandcamp.com/); and the results are quite captivating, iffen I do say so myself. 

If you haven’t encountered Wodwo’s ambient works yet, dim the lights… get the headphones (maybe not in that order, so you don’t trip over anything). His creations (to the workings of my mind) are soundscapes perfectly designed as launching points for me to paint my own stories into... the groundwork is laid so spaciously and evocatively. 

Pulled directly from his bio, ‘born to be mild’ sums his works up perfectly; beautiful sound sculptures that let the mind go quiet and go adventuring… for just a little while.

So without further delay, we offer you our first collaborative effort, ‘Paint Eventually Peels”. We hope you enjoy. :)

Paint Eventually Peels | Wodwo & GrevusAnjl

(Free WAV Download available here under '••• More'; and eventually, as part of a future solo album)

Good afternoon my SC friends. This year, I thought it might be fun to share some of the brain rebooting information I’ve discovered over the years that helped me navigate life a little easier. So if you like the idea of following along with these liner notes, you’ll want to watch this video first (about 1 minute... Selective Attention Test video: https://youtu.be/vJG698U2Mvo), before you continue reading down. It’s quite challenging to get the count right, but the results are utterly fascinating. :)

*waits patiently*

Welcome back. So, if you haven’t already seen it before, you just watched a video that brilliantly demonstrates our limited capacity as observers. I admit, I was so busy counting the passing ball… I totally missed the gorilla. Most of my family missed it as well. And according to the creators of the video, at least 50% of the audience will. That’s mind blowing.

So what does that say about our perceptions? It seems to suggest we’re not as aware as we think we are. And that is a lovely thought, because it means we don’t have to be so hard on ourselves when we misperceive things. We are literally incapable of taking it all in, and therefore we don’t always have the full picture (or even the same picture as our fellow traveller).

And that just demonstrates the limits of our mental awareness. Now consider our senses for a moment… how our hearing range is limited to a range of 20Hz to 20kHz. Think about how our vision doesn’t go below the ultraviolet or above the infrared. And I know I can’t smell things to the excellent degree my family’s pets can. 

The one that really blows my mind is that we aren’t ever physically touching anything. There is always an atomic amount of space between all objects. So when I sit down in a chair, what’s really happening is the molecular particles that collectively agreed to make up my butt are interacting with the molecular particles that collectively agreed to make up that chair; and the signals are all just electrical stimuli to my brain. I believe I can feel the smoothness of the polished woodgrain… but it isn’t a full or accurate story.

So now we have an idea of the limitations of our five senses. Add to that how we are limited to those five senses in the first place (unless some of you have physically developed sonar like a bat or have the ability to create an external multi-member neural network like fungi do underground), and you start to have a better idea just how much of the picture we are missing. 

So in a nutshell, we simply don’t have the full picture; and that can be a very liberating realization. That idea gave me the wisdom I needed to release my stranglehold on being a perfectionist… just a little bit. If I’m constantly missing things I don’t even know I’m missing, perfection isn’t even an option. I can also take these ideas out into the world with me, and realize we really don’t perceive things as similarly as we think we do. We are constantly being influenced by everything from our senses and mental awareness to cognitive dissonance and the bias of preference. We are each having different experiences, and that underlying realization is a great place to start, if change be the thing we desire. :)

So if you found this write-up interesting, you might enjoy ‘The Invisible Gorilla, And Other Ways Our Intuitions Deceive Us’ by Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simons. It’s a thought provoking read. 

I’ll share other inspirational books and TV shows in future song notes. In the meantime, I hope you enjoyed my latest sonic adventure, ‘Develop Mental’ (especially all the little details I added in the 21kHz+ range, as well as the ‘scratch and sniff for dogs’ elements). :)

Develop Mental

(Free WAV Download available here under '••• More'; and eventually as part of my BandCamp PWWO #08 album)

Happy Friday to all of you. I hope 2023 is treating you well so far. I’m doing my best to focus my free-range mind on creative endeavors; definitely the most positive use of my time. And to that end, I’m happy to admit I’m still keeping to my 2023 music goals (2 tracks a month). And the track I get to share with you today is particularly exciting.

It’s been a goal of mine for a few years now to try out one of Andre’s (noxpox: https://soundcloud.com/noxpox-page-12, https://noxpox.bandcamp.com/) open collabs. His most recent offering ‘kannmangebrauchen’ (https://soundcloud.com/noxpox-page11/noxpox-kannmangebrauchencan-be-used) was particularly enticing; and this resulting remix is an equally thrilling surprise for me. In fact, this might be the closest I’ve come to the 80s and 90s stylings of my favorite Industrial bands (Skinny Puppy, NiN, Ministry, Front 242, etc.). 

Of course, no GrevusAnjl remix would be complete without at least a little uplifting cuteness hidden in the folds (I tried to keep it dark and edgy. I really did. But the cuteness just seeps in). So if you’re in the market for adorable Industrial, I might have just what you need. I hope you enjoy my GrevusAnjl ‘Repurposed For Dance’ remix of a very cool noxpox original. :)

F.W. Friends

noxpox ‘kannmangebrauchen’ (GrevusAnjl ‘Repurposed For Dancing’ Remix)

(Free WAV Download available here under '••• More'; and eventually as part of my BandCamp PWWO #08 album)

Happy Monday my SC friends. Today I am supremely excited to offer you (the listener) my next collaborative creation of 2023; and for those keeping track at home, this is my 4th collab with the legendary (at least, in my mind) Stone Catcherye (https://soundcloud.com/stonecatcherye, https://stonecatcherye.bandcamp.com/). 

Stoney’s lyrics speak for themselves; but I gotta say, I am sharing the sentiment. We hope you enjoy our latest collab, ‘Scintilla’ (and we hope you have some bell bottoms lying around… cuz this is not a drill). :D

Lyrics:

there's a small piece inside of me
defenselessness be thy name
it's a party where nothing's free
who would care to explain

dark. all it takes is a spark
a trace of love in your heart
are you brilliant or just smart
then dig down deeper

there's a small piece inside of me
that's shown interest to scream
it's a riot inside of me
and my brain's the police
in contempt and unbendingly
I surrender, it seems

dark. all it takes is a spark
a trace of love in your heart
are you brilliant or just smart
then dig down deeper

heart. need to get back my spark
get in the state of the art
not let this peel me apart
and dig down deeper

if I dig deep enough,
maybe I'll bury me...

heart. need to get back my spark
get in the state of the art
not let this peel me apart
and dig down deeper

dark. all it takes is a spark
a trace of love in your heart
are you just brilliant or smart
then dig down deeper

if I dig deep enough maybe I'll plant a seed
put in all that I have just to feel that in green
if I care for this deep, it will grow to a tree
and I'll save all it's sap and pick up all of it's leaves

Scintilla | Stone Catcherye & GrevusAnjl

(Free WAV Download available here under '••• More'; and eventually, as part of a future solo album)

Since it’s Springtime (at least, in my neck of the woods), I thought it would be fun to share a few gardening tips… for your brain!! :)

Consider for a moment the evolving brain of our mammalian ancestors. Recent neuroscience studies suggest we are dramatically more wired for absorbing and reliving negativity than we are positivity. It’s all part of the survival plan. If you think a lot about a bad situation (like that time you were jumped by a tiger in the jungle, and barely escaped with your life), you’re able to imagine similar scenarios better, and are less likely to fall victim to the same situation. 

The issue is, the average human is not as physically threatened as mammals were during those early developmental stages. But we are more psychologically threatened; and those scenarios still get stored, replayed and reimagined in the same way. 

Admittedly, we still need those survival skills to some degree. But perhaps it’s ok if we dial them down a bit. So how do we do that? With the help of the next cool book I want to share, ‘Hardwiring Happiness’ by Rick Hanson, Ph.D.

One of the most profound ideas I pulled from this book was the idea of just sitting and dwelling in a positive moment. Sounds weird, right?

Intriguingly… quite the opposite of how we store negative experiences for survival purposes, positive experiences don’t often benefit our survival, and are typically discarded with the passing of short term memory. 

But if you dwell in a happy moment… if you feel the excitement in your body (chemical), if you replay the scenario (neurological)… and don’t just shrug it off, but literally allow yourself to spend even 5-10 minutes in that space… you do the same storage upload process to your brain that the negative stuff is doing (and if you’re like me, you can easily spend 5-10 minutes dwelling on that negative crap, so you know you have it in you to focus that long). 

So with practice and patience, you begin to rewire your mind to more easily tap into those positive memories, and that positive energy. And if you keep doing that on a frequent basis, you discover your mind grows much more adept at naturally jumping to happy thoughts rather than fearful thoughts. 

I joyfully admit I put this to the test about 15 years ago, when I started my ‘finding my truth’ journey (it sounded better than a midlife crisis. Those are so passé these days. Sheesh). But I painfully admit… I also had a dragon-sized ego at the time. I hid my fears and self-doubts behind a wall of arrogant rage. And I was strangely untouchable (but also snippy and abrasive) with that kind of armor and weaponry. 

Ultimately, it wasn’t who I wanted to be. Thus the desire for change. I went into this new daily practice expecting no immediate results. All I had was hope that it would impact my neural wiring eventually. And about 5 years into that practice, I realized I was recognizably more positive inside. 

Granted, it took me that long because I was (foolishly) at war with my ego, thinking it was ‘the enemy’… rather than just a co-pilot with delusions of piloty grandeur (so there you go, you can bypass that step if you want to). 

15 years into my practice, I am so much healthier mentally than I was back then, it’s like I’ve lived two different lives. Now, with the benefit of 20/20 hindsight, I can absolutely see the journey was well worth it. So if you’re looking for another insightful tool for changing your thinking, I highly recommend ‘Hardwiring Happiness’. It’s a great ‘starting point’ book. And it’s based on neuroscience; so, very high on logic, but low on esoteric (making it a little more approachable to the masses). 

I hope you also enjoyed my latest musical creation, ‘Planting In The Hidden Garden’. :)

Planting In The Hidden Garden

(Free WAV Download available here under '••• More'; and eventually as part of my BandCamp PWWO #08 album)

Over the past few years, Carlos (https://soundcloud.com/carlosvivanco-1, https://carlosvivanco1.bandcamp.com/) has helped me navigate a mountain of information on music theory, and taught me some basics on playing the piano as well. Our collaborations are always a great opportunity to cement those ideas into sounds. 

For our 5th collaboration, he sent me a very cool Harmonic Cadence foundation (piano, cello, drums and xylophone), moving the tonalities by 5ths along the way. He also explained that all I needed to do was refer to my lessons on Minor Pentatonics and transitioning by 5ths to fill in the gaps appropriately. I’m thrilled to actually understand what that means now. :) 

Plus, he provides me creative counting methods (that I might otherwise overlook). This is an 8/8 song, but the count is 1 2 3 1 2 3 1 2; so I get to use mathematics to place my notes at key points along that count. I get to combine the best of both worlds (mathematics and creativity) into one space… and that’s a lot of fun. 

So Carlos, thanks for being such a positive influence in my life. I’ve learned so much from you. I am truly grateful for your time, your teachings, and your friendship. I love working with you, and I love how this song turned out.

And to the rest of our Soundcloud friends, we hope you enjoy our 5th collaboration, ‘Twelfth Knight’. :)

Twelfth Knight | Carlos Vivanco & GrevusAnjl

(Free WAV Download available here under '••• More'; and eventually as part of my BandCamp PWWO #08 album)

Greetings to our SC friends. For those in hotter climates, we hope you’re enjoying the slow broil this fine mid-July. :) 

Today, Jo (Minimal_Drone*GRL: https://soundcloud.com/minimal_drone_grl, https://minimaldronegrl.bandcamp.com/) and I are thrilled to share our second collab, ‘Anima Unbound’. It started out as an ambient piece, but somehow evolved into something very… different. We hope you enjoy. 

Along with the new song, we’re also excited to share some ideas/excerpts from a book we discovered we both love, ‘The Untethered Soul’ by Michael A. Singer. :D

This book has some great suggestions for modifying unconscious daily routines into conscious activities designed to raise personal awareness. 

One of our favorite chapters is about ‘The Inner Roommate’, and is a surprisingly simple experiment. The idea is to imagine the voice in your head as an individual separate from you (like a roommate). Every time you have a thought, imagine those words are coming from someone on the outside (rather than in your head). If that voice happens to be ultra-chatty, and often negative, the experiment proves quite effective, quite quickly. 

As Michael suggests “How would you feel if someone outside really started talking to you the way your inner voice does? How would you relate to a person who opened their mouth to say everything your mental voice says? After a very short period of time, you would tell them to leave and never come back. But when your inner friend continuously speaks up, you don’t even tell it to leave. No matter how much trouble it causes, you listen.”

That was definitely an eye-opening experiment for both of us; with surprising results from very little effort.

Another chapter that struck a cord with us is ‘The Secrets of the Spiritual Heart’. This is an intriguing idea that when the heart is open, you fall in love with life very easily. But when the heart is closed, you lose interest and desire very quickly. It’s all about energy intake (or blockage).

A healthy heart will witness things in our surroundings, process them, and let them go… which keeps us in a state of constantly renewing energy intake. This is the way we are meant to process the astounding amounts of info coming at us. Witness, experience, learn, let go… then witness the next thing with equal openness.

But a heart trapped in fear handles things a little differently. If you encounter something that upsets you, it makes an impression (coincidentally, the Yogic/Sanskrit term for this is Samskara, meaning ‘Impression’). Since energy is a constant, but you aren’t able to release it, you find yourself trapped with that impression, although you might not realize it at the time. It’s like an audio loop that is always ready to be queued up, even if you’ve forgotten you have it stored on your hard drive. The way you know it’s still trapped inside you is when it surfaces under other similar circumstances… and that might be the first time you realize it’s still there.

Where this concept really helps is the idea that looping energy gunks up the system, like a hairball gunks up your plumbing. If the hairball gets too big (or there are too many of them) there will be a direct impact on other things flowing through the pipes effectively. This disturbing clump of negative gunk is actually interfering with more positive elements flowing through you. So if you want to return those pipes to a more natural flow of energy, you first need to clean out the gunk of those trapped old emotions. 

Sometimes the simplest analogies are the best. And this book is full of them.

So there you have it. Jo and I hope you enjoyed this inspirational little write-up (perhaps enough to spark a little interest in the book). And we also hope you enjoy our latest musical offering, ‘Anima Unbound’. :)

Anima Unbound | Minimal_Drone*GRL & GrevusAnjl

(Free WAV Download available here under '••• More'; and eventually, as part of 'Last Call')

Greetings my SC friends. It’s been a strange few months, and I am excited to be back. But I have a feeling it’s not going to look like it did… at least for the near future. I’m having a hard time organizing my thoughts lately. And while the musical energy is flowing better than ever, my ability to write satisfying liner notes is feeling a little clogged (this will be my 6th attempt at this write-up). 

As much as I regret it, the write-ups may need to stay on hold for a while longer. But first, I wanted to share what happened (in the form of a write-up. Lol). 

For starters, it’s important to mention I’ve been an alcoholic since I was 15 (a 40 year relationship). And although I genuinely loved what a nice beer buzz did for my noisy mind, I also knew what toxic alcoholism looked like (from many examples in my extended family). So I knew I had my work cut out for me, if I wanted to overcome my genetic dependancy. 

Granted, I also have a ‘responsibility’ vein that runs deep. I did my best to prioritize my family and responsibilities first (‘don’t drink til 5:00. Don’t drink if ya have to drive’ kinda stuff), and I considered myself a ‘functioning alcoholic’. Truthfully, I was never ashamed of my drinking. As a teenager, the ability to not give a shit that I found in a beer buzz honestly saved my life. And it allowed me to unplug from the noise for many decades after that.

But I wanted to do better than that, so I started making changes quite a while ago. Here’s a brief summary of how that unfolded:

1. Back in 2006 I concluded my negative headspace was the root of the problem (perspective is huge); so I altered my daily routines, knowing it would take years to undo the lifetime of programming that caused that thinking in the first place. I started consuming info that was positive and hopeful and loving (and avoided negative info like my life depended on it… which it did). And I did that intensively for the next 15 years.

2. But by January of 2023, I realized the beer buzz no longer quieted the noise and ugliness happening in the world (it all went too chaotic too fast). So if the crutch wasn't helpful, it needed to go. That’s when I tried Tai Chi (to give my mind something else to focus on). And it worked brilliantly.

3. Over the next 6 months, thanks to the calmer headspace created by Tai Chi, I cut my drinking tremendously (and for perspective, we’re talking 9-18 Natties daily… down to 3-6 Natties daily). The surprise outcome… the fog in my mind was clearing for the first time, and I was not prepared for sober adult Justin (man is my brain chattery when left to it’s own devices). So at the beginning of August 2023, I decided to take my Social Media break. That was more timely than I could have imagined, because…

4. On August 26th I was given the gift of Pancreatitis (the disease that lets you know ‘Wow, Dude. You drink way too much’). I went to the Emergency room with terrible intestinal pain, and I ended up in the hospital for 5 days. Long story short, I left the hospital sober, and have been that way ever since. And I’m genuinely happy about that… because thankfully, I did a great job preparing for that day.

So in a nutshell... I am back. But the writings may have to wait a while longer (at least until I figure out how my new clearer headspace works). Interestingly, I managed to produce almost an entire album of new music over my break, so I'll put those new songs up on SC over the coming weeks. 

And since I’m just a few songs short of completion, I’ll be releasing a very personal album (symbolizing my adventures with sobriety) very soon. It’s called ‘What Color Is Your Paradox?’, and I hope to have it on Bandcamp in February.

In the meantime, I’m happy to be back. And I look forward to seeing what all of you have been up to over the last few months. :)

 Big hugs from your blatantly open-book friend.
-Justin

Paradox?

Last Call

This is the third song intended for my next album 'What Color Is Your Paradox'. It was originally finished on 10/23/2023. I hope you enjoy. :)

Love Songs Of The Apocalypse

And here is the fifth song planned for my next album 'What Color Is Your Paradox'. It was originally finished on 11/22/2023. I hope you enjoy this as well. 

Just FYI... I have about four more songs to go before I'm all caught up on the unreleased music. Then I'll be back to sharing them as I finish them. If you haven't figured it out by now, I'm a stickler for chronological order (among other neuro-spicy organizational and numerical ways of thinking). :)

Ghosting Our Pilates Instructor

Greetings and good afternoon to my SC friends. This is the 10th and final song intended for my upcoming album ‘What Color Is Your Paradox’. It is also my 7th mind-blowing collaboration with our dear friend Carlos Vivanco (https://soundcloud.com/carlosvivanco-1, https://carlosvivanco1.bandcamp.com). 

This piece was highly entertaining and challenging to work on. We started with clearly defined regions (mine being the more techno sounding stuff… Carlos building the traditional instrument sections). I then mangled the whole thing, and tried to blur the lines more as the song progresses, until both worlds felt fully merged by the end. At least, that was the goal. I’ll let you decide if the structure succeeds in that regard. :)

The title is also quite significant to me at this point in my life; based on the idea of ‘masking’, and our growing inability to do so. 

If you aren’t familiar with the term ‘masking’, one Mental Health Care website I found defines it this way: “Masking often involves suppressing or hiding true emotions, which can lead to a buildup of unresolved feelings and contribute to increased stress, anxiety, and emotional turmoil in the long-term. In the context of mental health and neurodivergence, masking refers to the actions or coping strategies that individuals use to conceal their genuine thoughts, emotions, or challenges.”

It didn’t really occur to me at first that I was masking when I was younger. I guess that idea doesn’t resonate when you’re deeply lost in the illusion; at least, until something makes it obvious. But in hindsight, I’ve worn many masks over the course of my life (Art Director, Technician, Pre-Press Specialist and Graphic Artist would be some of my professional masks. And I would even go so far as to include Husband, Father and Son, since I was on auto-pilot during the earliest stages of those as well). 

As my life progressed, I felt more and more insincere in those roles. I felt something was wrong. I just couldn’t put my finger on it. Then COVID (something that actually required us to wear real masks. What irony!) came along, and miraculously changed that for all of us. We gained the necessary space we needed, to finally see the illusion more clearly. Now, that illusion grows more fragile and transparent by the day. So while I’m still in the early stages of trying to figure out the new paradigm… I suspect the really critical takeaway at this point is just recognizing when we’re being our genuine selves, and when we’re lost in a role; especially if that role is debilitating to our personal growth and well being.

Another thing I’m thinking a lot on these days…. Society is dependent on me playing those roles. And society doesn’t really care whether I’m happy or not (as long as I keep paying my bills, and buying their products, and believing their lies). So maybe, just maybe, society doesn’t have my best interests at heart (as I had originally hoped). Maybe… just maybe… we’re going to need to redefine who we are personally, as we stop playing along with this globally unconscious and ultimately destructive agenda.

Thick and chunky topic, I know. But that’s the way the world feels to me these days… like we needed a brisk slap across the face to wake us all up. COVID was that slap (and probably just the first of many still to come). It’s time to prioritize our own self interests; because if we don’t, they certainly won’t. So rip off those masks, and let your freak flag fly. It’s our life, and we’ll be the ones sitting on our deathbed, asking ourselves if we lived life true to ourselves…. or if we just fulfilled the role demanded by this illusion.

We hope you enjoy “Cracks In The Surface”; and it inspires you to think about what aspects of your reality are cracking. Keep in mind… if you still have a pulse, there is always time to change things up. :)

Cracks In The Surface | Carlos Vivanco & GrevusAnjl

(Free WAV Download available here under '••• More'; and eventually as part of my Foul Weather Friends album)

Good evening to my SC friends. I hope life is treating you all well.

First thing I want to share… there is a reason why so many of my recent songs don’t include write-ups. I promised myself a long time ago I would search out positive and productive ideas, and only share those. But lately, I’m wasting a lot of time and energy dwelling in darker territories. It’s way too easy for my ego to jump on the ‘fear’ bandwagon (and it’s happening to a lot of us these days); and I feel an intense responsibility to never use my writing abilities to spread more of that kind of thinking. 

Granted, I am also in a regular state of arguing with that very convincing voice, reminding it that it is only focusing on one perspective (the ‘fear’ one). That right there is gift number one… having a separate voice in my head, working diligently to raise the bar. And it’s a gift we all have; the voice that gently sits above the voice of the ego… reminding us ‘this is all about discovering the love in any given scenario’. The problem is, the ego can get noisy enough to mute that other voice; and it’s easy to forget it’s still there.

But when I achieve those moments of clarity, I laugh at how susceptible I am to my own negative thinking. What I really believe deep down is that (as experiential souls) we’re all actually doing great, and this is all going according to plan. 

I know, I know. Have I lost my mind? That can’t be possible, right? We can’t be ok? There is simply too much evidence to the contrary.

That ‘evidence’ is gift number two. Thanks to tools like the internet and social media, we can see this all happening live, everywhere, and all at once (including the now obvious lies). For the first time in documented history, anything you want to know is readily at your fingertips. 

Granted, the folks who want to control us, understand human psychology well enough to use that information (drizzled in fear) to manipulate us… which seems like a bad thing. But I want to suggest it’s actually a good thing. Our hearts really only want to love (and be loved): and our ego can only take so much negative info before the body grows sick with that energy. Using a nightmare as an example… you’ll endure a lot in that sleeping state, until you reach a tipping point. And then you snap awake from the nightmare, cringe at how convincing it was, and tell yourself “I don’t ever want to experience that again. That was scary.” We need these nightmares for perspective. And the worse the nightmare gets, the more people are destined to wake up from it.

Here’s where my ideas get weird. Instead of fearing all those voices who are currently driving civilization to the brink (of who knows what, just yet). What if we thanked them. What if those frightened/frightening voices are inadvertently doing exactly what we need them to be doing… breaking the nightmare, by making it unbearable. These days, when someone tells me I need to be afraid, I immediately gravitate to the thought ‘what do you stand to gain by making me feel that way?” And that is usually enough to spark other ways of thinking. 

Simply speaking, we can determine the trustability of a message by determining its underlying energy: Fear = Bad, Love = Good. So many institutions want us to be afraid right now, and I genuinely question the motives behind anyone pushing that agenda. So yes, I thank all those leaders out there; the ones forcing fear on us so relentlessly. You are waking us up faster than you realize. And while your precariously unsustainable structure won’t survive this awakening… the human race will. 

I hope you enjoy my latest sonic swirl, ‘Poly Ticks And The Powdered Keg’. :)

Poly Ticks And The Powdered Keg

(Free WAV Download available here under '••• More'; and eventually as part of my Foul Weather Friends album)

Greetings to the SC community. Today I'm excited to share installment #5 in the ever-expanding collection of Stone Catcherye/GrevusAnjl collaborations. Stoney (https://soundcloud.com/stonecatcherye, https://stonecatcherye.bandcamp.com/) is a joy to work with. He's a wellspring of thought provoking musical ideas. And his lyrical messages are next level stuff (in my humble opinion). :)

This song's message really resonates with me (and I suspect it will for many of you as well). It's about that internal conflict between wanting to remain peaceful amidst the chaos, and wanting to scream and rage at all the ugliness. And then of course, wondering if any of it makes a difference anyway.

I personally think it does (and I have a feeling Stoney agrees).

But I also feel like the value of the high road is not always immediately evident. In reality, I feel like the high road is the far more difficult path, because it flies in the face of the ego (and that little fellow loves to be right). 

The problem is the ripple effect. Using 20 year old, ‘angry at the world’ Justin as an example… sure, everyone clearly understood my point. They also knew I was hot-headed, venomous, and worth avoiding… and that is the element that sticks for most people; “not what you said or did… but how you made them feel.” (quote by Maya Angelou).

So, while the desire to lash out at the world (as self-vindication) seems enticing to the ego… it’s gonna burn you in the long run. When I have the wisdom to not engage in conflict, the win isn’t always immediately evident… but it shows up in the peace that follows; not because I gave in to the battle, but because I had the wisdom to not start a war. And that might be key to our survival in this new and confusing world; having the wisdom and compassion to work toward peaceful ends… even if it means letting the ego take a bruising once in a while.

So without further ado… Stoney and I offer you our latest sonic creation, ‘Silent Riot’. We hope you enjoy. :)

Lyrics:

like I don't have enough to surrender
it is all I had to not remember

silence is violence
silence is violent
silence is violence
silence...

compound of the profound
riot of the silent
playground of the renowned
try it, just be quiet

we don't want to hear it
we're tired of the bullshit
we won't ever submit
shut it!

I should learn to control this needy temper
maybe then, my friend, I'll find my center

center....
center....

compound of the profound
riot of the silent
playground of the renowned
try it, just be quiet

we don't want to hear it
we're tired of the bullshit
we won't ever submit
shut it!

silent, my riot
silent not quiet
silence is violence
silence is violent

Silent Riot | Stone Catcherye & GrevusAnjl

(Free WAV Download available here under '••• More'; and eventually as part of my Foul Weather Friends album)

Hello auditory enthusiasts and fellow friends of the Soundcloud community. Since the world seems perfectly content making up reality as we go along, I thought it might be entertaining to play with a concept or two of my own. Granted, the term ‘Foul Weather Friend’ already exists in the Urban Dictionary. But I feel like they missed the mark, and I want to redefine that term to something better suited for the times.

First, the definition (as I would like to see it):

Foul Weather Friend: A companion who doesn’t have blinders on when it comes to the truth, but who also manages to find light in the darkest of times. That irritating confidant who insists there is always hope and meaning in life; and refuses to give up on you, even when you want to give up on yourself. That frustratingly wise buddy who knows how to make you feel better… even when you don’t want to. 

I admit, it doesn’t take a lot for me to imagine that person, because I lucked out; I married that person (the description is more of a historical document in my case. Thank you, Cheer! You really did save my life).

Unfortunately, I was very much the opposite. I was a frustrated and angry young man, convinced the world just wanted me for my ability to labor and spend money (oh, wait). I was amazingly effective at arguing my points, and profoundly negative about all of it. Cheer had to endure digging through a lot of toxic sludge before finally uncovering the gem. And lucky for me, she had the patience to keep digging… because she saw something in me that I couldn’t see in myself at the time.

Speaking from direct experience, one positive and supportive voice was enough to make me want to be a better person. One person holding my hand through my dark years (and reminding me I was loved and lovable) was enough to inspire me to try harder. And here I am today, feeling amazingly good about most things; and trying my hardest to pay that unconditional love and support forward. That, in my humble opinion, is the power of the Foul Weather Friend. That is the kind of person everyone needs in their life… RIGHT NOW.

But in reality, one negative and critical voice can have quite the opposite effect. Instead of Cheer bringing me up, I could have brought her down with me. And what a terrible thing that would have been. So I suppose that makes this is a two-fold concept. First, we need more Foul Weather Friends in our lives. And second, we need to not be the toxic sludge in theirs. 

In summary, this world needs all the positivity it can get right now. If you don’t have Foul Weather Friends in your life…. actively seek them out. If you are surrounded by toxic sludge, actively choose to stop standing in it (meaning, let go of the people in your life that are more detrimental than they are helpful... including toxic family members). That might sound selfish to some people, and it is. It’s you saying ‘I don’t like the way I feel when I’m around certain people, and I love myself enough to end those relationships.’ It’s less about selfish, and more about self-care. The future is strangely unpredictable at the moment; and we need all the help, hope and love we can get. 

I hope you enjoy my new sonic offering, ‘Foul Weather Friends.’ :)

Foul Weather Friends

(Free WAV Download available here under '••• More'; and eventually as part of my Foul Weather Friends album)

I bet I met Belial Pelegrim (https://soundcloud.com/belial-pelegrim, https://belialpelegrim.bandcamp.com/) within the first 3 months of discovering Soundcloud; and man did he set the bar high. If you have yet to encounter his music while exploring this community, I would be flabbergasted. He is most definitely located in the left ventricle of this great circle of friends. :)

One of the things I genuinely admire about him (besides being an off-the-scale musical genius) is his tremendously generous nature in supporting the people of this community. Back when the idea of collaborating scared the living shit out of me, he actually offered me the opportunity; we then made ‘Fog Drinker’ (that was back in August of 2017. Wow! Where has the time gone?)… and after that, I wasn’t so horrified by the idea of collabs any more. Frankly, you survive the wild ride that is a Belial collab, and you’re pretty much fully acclimatized to the idea. Haha.

And here we are, almost 7 years to the day… and I have the great privilege of hosting our 8th musical soundscape… and this thing is superb if I do say so myself. 

Honestly, everything I’ve created with this guy is awe-inspiring. Here's a link to the playlist so you can check them out when you’re done here (https://soundcloud.com/justin_mackay/sets/the-belial-pelegrim-grevusanjl). You’ll thank me for this. I promise. 

Oh, and while you're on his page, check out any one of his Taffeta series. A new chapter is released every weekend. Needless to say, it has been a massive stretch just to reach song 200 (of 266) this weekend. And it is a labor of love we can all benefit from. It truly boggles the mind.

In the meantime, we hope you enjoy, ‘Trading My Doomsday Clock For A Sundial’. :)

Trading My Doomsday Clock For A Sundial | Belial Pelegrim & GrevusAnjl

(Free WAV Download available here under '••• More'; and eventually as part of my Foul Weather Friends album)

Greetings to the music community. I’m glad you stopped by. Today, I have the privilege of sharing another collaboration (#8 in fact) with our ever inspiring friend, Carlos Vivanco (https://soundcloud.com/carlosvivanco-1, https://carlosvivanco1.bandcamp.com). I always get stunning results, working with this fellow. :)

But first, the haiku that inspired the title:

O snail,
climb Mount Fuji,
but slowly, slowly
- Kobayashi Issa

I literally discovered ‘O snail’ as Carlos was sending me his guitar elements. The timing was too coincidental (thus the title).

As you may well imagine, the haiku of the Snail climbing Mount Fuji implies patience, perseverance, and remembering to enjoy the journey. But we never understand the trials of the snail; only his speed limitations. I feel like it’s good to face some truths about ourselves that might be interfering with our journey; and hearing someone else share their challenges has often helped me not feel so overwhelmed by mine.

For example, I have a strangely persistent ‘low self-esteem’ issue that has been with me for as long as I can remember. There are numerous childhood experiences keeping that thinking alive. But if I’m being completely honest with myself, they are all just part of my story… and the majority of them are not even happening to me any more. Yet despite 55 year old Justin’s accomplishments, that dark little fellow shows up from time to time, to… I don’t know… put me back in my place? Or something?

And here’s the annoying thing. There is an abundance of evidence indicating I’m a good person, living a worthwhile life, doing good things. I’m a highly logical person; and the math on this is pretty solid. This should be a breeze to overcome.

Surprisingly, it’s not. 

So clearly, there are certain perspectives that simply defy logic. And I suspect many of us carry similar thoughts and feelings deep inside; those annoying little clingers-on that defy reason, and fight to keep us down. That part of us that always wanted to be accepted by and fit into something that never really matched our shape to begin with. 

This is ultimately about us realizing that we are ridiculously amazing beings. Higher minded Justin truly believes every one of us is fundamentally perfect (and perfectly capable), because we are here right now… living this. I believe we are all in a very advanced class (or at the very least, approaching finals on a very rigorous curriculum), and we wouldn’t be here if we hadn’t met the prerequisites. We stand here right now (although I'm sitting as I type), with purpose and opportunity coming at us full steam. It’s going to be an amazing, sometimes horrifying, sometimes beautiful beyond words experience. And we all get to do it together. Wild ride, right?

The bottom line is… it’s time we gave ourselves a break, and loved and accepted ourselves… as is. That is so key to the rest of it working out for us, and it’s truly worth prioritizing. 

Also, what if we try our hardest to honor and respect each other’s paths. Every path is sacred… even if some seem harder to understand. And they all combine to make up this story, which would not be so poignant (or easy to learn from) if not for the extreme light and extreme dark elements giving us such wide angle perspective.

Carlos and I hope you enjoy ‘Climbing Mount Fuji With My Snail.” :)

Climbing Mount Fuji With My Snail | Carlos Vivanco & GrevusAnjl

(Free WAV Download available here under '••• More'; and eventually as part of my next mystery album)

Greetings to my SC friends. This write-up goes deep into the realms of the bizarre. I’ll be serving up a banquet of probable realities and parallel universes, slow roasted in a ‘law of attraction’ au jus. And we’ll also have another wolf sighting.

First, let’s reintroduce our wolf friends (said to be from a Cherokee tale, and described in greater detail in a liner note a few years back). The one sneaking its way through the crevasses of my brain is the wolf of fear; the one chilling peacefully just behind my heart is the wolf of love. And as previously mentioned… the one I feed the most, grows the largest and has the most influence in my life. That idea is very helpful as we switch from metaphorical thinking to quantum navigation. 

Now for the bizarre part.

There is a theory out there that every possible moment/choice in every possible life (past and future) has already happened, and it’s all housed as snapshots of stored data on a quantum/cosmic state, cloud storage device somewhere. 

But what does that mean to me as a flesh bag?

It means that every time I am about to make a choice in my life, every possible option lies before me. The choice I make then narrows those possibilities down to the reality I experience. But all those other choices continue to play out without my awareness, because in another probability, I took those paths and lived those lives. I am essentially a rapidly expanding resident of parallel universes; but my consciousness is only aware of this one… and only of this very moment in time.

Going further down that rabbit hole, I start playing with ideas like hopping time-lines. For example… if someone told 20 year old Justin that at 55 I would be a happily married, sober, vegetarian musician… I would have stopped playing with that person. But here I am living that life, so maybe that idea is worth visiting. 

But for now, let’s focus on this reality… and how we can bend it to our will. 

If you make your choices out of love (and you aren’t constantly stuffing emotional pork chops into the wolf of fear), your awareness gradually shifts to one of love. The more choices you make out of love, the deeper into that probability you go. Keep doing that long enough, and the other probability becomes nothing more than a distant memory… if it doesn’t simply disappear from your experience altogether.

The same goes for the other side. If I only focus on fearful things, I’m cementing that experience for myself. My choices are made in fear; my experiences confirm that fear; and I ultimately end up living a very fear-driven existence. 

Now if we expand that concept to include the collective consciousness; how powerful our will is, and how we impact each other’s realities… we begin to see how utopian/dystopian variations are born. 

But if we have control over our direct path (through the choices we make, and where we focus our awareness), that suggests we have the power to purposefully choose timelines. Think about that… every possibility existing all at once, and we may literally get to decide which version we want to experience. 

What if we can migrate (or even hop) our awareness to more ideal timelines when we grow tired of the one we’re currently visiting? What if we are in control? What if we are that powerful? I admit, I’m having experiences in my life that make me question if this idea isn’t so far fetched after all.

While you chew on that, I hope you enjoy ‘Putting The Disco In Discombobulated’. :)

DL on SC :)

Putting The Disco In Discombobulated

(Free WAV Download available here under '••• More'; and eventually as part of my next mystery album)

A hearty good morning to all of my friends in the music community. I hope life is treating you well. :)

This track ended up feeling old-timey/antique (as portrayed by an out of control Foley Artist). But funny thing is… when the title came to me, I got a powerful vibe the track wanted this name. I’m a little peculiar that way. I perceive a lot of things as if they are living entities with their own desires… and I like to honor that. 

After that, I started playing with Wombo Dream AI art, and this illustration came up immediately; and fit the title perfectly. Sometimes the synchronicities are too ideal to ignore. 

But how does an old guy sitting in a chair, listening to a radio, symbolize fresh starts?

I think it’s because I’m starting to identify with that old man; wondering when I’m going to be too old to try new things. And I keep having the same joyful realization… it hasn’t happened yet; especially in the ways that matter most to me. I’m still discovering new things about myself and my abilities every day… simply because I keep exploring new things.

For example… 20 year old Justin never could have imagined that 36 year old Justin might be interested in making music for fun. He certainly couldn’t have predicted the piano lessons starting at 53, or the Tai Chi lessons at 54, or that I would have crafted 14 albums by the age of 55. I have friends and family members who believe their best years are already behind them, and the window of opportunity has passed. I respectfully disagree; and I hope to make that point obvious through my own continued actions/accomplishments. :)

Needless to say, every day provides us new opportunities to start fresh. Every day provides us a chance to try new things. If we choose to spend the day worrying about the future, or dwelling on the past, that is our choice. But it’s worth asking ourselves… am I busy shoveling minutes into the void, dwelling on things that aren’t even happening right now? Or am I using this time wisely, doing something I love, and getting better at it as a result?

I hope you enjoy my latest creation, ‘We’ll Start At The Beginning’. :)

We'll Start At The Beginning

(Free WAV Download available here under '••• More'; and eventually as part of my next mystery album)

Greetings my SC friends. Happy October to all of you. :)

Every once in a while I hear something that stops me in my tracks… and I have a new one I would love to share with you today. This was heard by my youngest daughter, in a recent college class… ‘Happy People Aren’t Good Consumers.’

Now that statement deserves some serious pondering. There’s a whole lot of truths hidden within those folds.

At least one thing it suggests is happy people aren’t as reliant on goods and services in order to be happy. Like being good on the inside makes them need less validation from the outside… or some such nonsense.

So I guess the opposite of that would be those of us who are compulsively shopping in order to find happiness; whether it’s for the pacification of fear and depression, or just alleviating simple boredom. 

Which is unfortunate… because this life is a blessing. It is an amazing gift to have access to the bounties of this planet. We are here at a time when there is endless opportunity… and yet so many of us are either overwhelmed or bored… or even worse… both. 

What part of me is so limited in its perspective that I can’t see the awesome gift lying in front of me? What part of me can’t be happy until I own the newest smart phone? Or won’t feel safe until I’ve purchased insurance (or at least an extended warranty) on every aspect of my life? How did I come to need all these monthly subscriptions to software and entertainment and services… and ideas? 

The answer is… the part of me that fell for all the conditioning society wanted me to believe. 

But that whole weird structure isn’t looking so sane anymore. It’s like in The Wizard of Oz. We all saw behind the curtain (probably during COVID). And now the mastermind is desperately trying to get us back under control… get us back to believing in the illusion.

And the weirdest bit… rather than trying to return itself to a sustainable state that could have lulled us back to sleep…. the whole system seems to be doubling down on everything, and aggressively moving forward. Like we’re just being whiney about wanting a life worth living, opportunities for growth, affordable housing and reasonable health care; to know that every soul is priceless, regardless of the package… oh, and while we’re at it… could we also ask for a promising looking future?

Instead, we stand astounded, watching the opposite unfold. 

And maybe it’s time we got out of its way…

As scary as that may sound… it appears to be the likely trajectory anyway. We may have even reached the point of no return. And this is actually merciful for all of us. The future is uncertain. But I think we're in for quite a few cool and exciting surprises, appearing alongside those darker moments (perhaps even helping us out of them). 

And now that we’ve seen behind the curtain, we don’t have to play our part in the unnecessary (and even destructive) bits. We can take stock of what we do that supports our growth and happiness; and also the choices we make, designed to appease our fears… and wisely shift our habits based on our findings. Money truly is one of the super powers belonging to us 99%. But it may take a million of us concentrating on levitating the same rock at the same time, in order to move that rock. Consumerism is rather weak at the molecular level.

But what if we only support the things that support a healthy future, and we abandon the things that only serve themselves. And through the power of millions, we start to sculpt the future we want… while the old paradigm pushes itself further into the abyss. Let’s all be bad consumers; and see where that takes us, for a change. :)

I hope you enjoy my new song, ‘The Bad Consumers’.

The Bad Consumers

(Free WAV Download available here under '••• More'; and eventually as part of my next mystery album)

Happy Monday everyone, and welcome to installment #9 in the ever-expanding collection of Carlos Vivanco (https://soundcloud.com/carlosvivanco-1, https://carlosvivanco1.bandcamp.com) /GrevusAnjl soundscapes. I love working with this guy; and the results are awe-inspiring, if I do say so myself. :)

Now on to today’s relevant conundrum. 

There is an old story from India about Brahma (the God of Creation) and Maya (the Goddess of Illusion), that I absolutely love. I first discovered it in the book ‘The Mastery of Love’ by Don Miguel Ruiz (great book. I highly recommend it). This is my personal embellishment:

As the story goes, before anything else exists, Brahma is pretty much alone and utterly bored (makes sense. The internet and smart phones aren’t a thing yet), so he creates Maya. Brahma then tells Maya “I am so very bored. Please do something to entertain me.” And Maya replies “I have an idea for a game. But you have to do exactly what I tell you.” 

Her first request is a space for the game to play out; so he creates the whole universe. He then fills it with swirling masses of stars and planets, with all their complex variations. And finally, he focuses in on the Earth and sculpts a majestic world filled with great mountains, dense forests, vast deserts, and unfathomably deep oceans; all teaming with life, both fauna and flora.

Maya says, “This world of illusion you created is truly beautiful.” She then asks Brahma to create a kind of animal that is so intelligent and aware that it can appreciate his creation. So Brahma creates humans… and now the stage is set for the game.

Maya then shatters Brahma into billions of teeny, tiny pieces; then puts a piece inside every human (right around that heart region) and says, "Now the game begins! I am going to make you forget what you are, and you are going to try to find yourself!" Maya created the Dream (also called the veil of illusion); and to this very day, Brahma is still trying to remember who he is.

That’s one of my favorite creation stories discovered from around the globe, because it elegantly reminds us… we are so much more than we realize. I honestly don’t know what that is exactly. None of us do. But I do love to speculate. I know I feel different energies coming at me and flowing through me, depending on what I’m putting out. And I also feel the quantum physics stuff goes a long way in proving we are connected to something larger; that the atomic level will serve (and has served) other purposes throughout time itself. The idea that I currently have almost 0% of the atoms I started with demonstrates that these ‘best if used by’ body costumes are more complex and more connected than we imagine.

I honestly find peace in the Brahma and Maya story. To me, it means we are here specifically for the search. We are here to find our purpose; and perhaps while working on that, we discover greater truths. 

But we probably need to face a nasty truth first. Ultimately, we (the human race) are here now because we collectively made too many of our choices in fear. My early life was filled with fearful choices; I did my part to poison the collective well. But we can always turn that energy around. It may require using a different collective mindset than the one that created this mess in the first place. Like Einstein once said “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”

So as we approach our future choices (including elections), the key message I hope you take with you is to remember you are so much more than this illusionary game wants you to believe. A good rule of thumb… when it comes time to make your choices, the loving choice is always the higher choice. Leave those fear-frosted fritters on the tray where you found them. You’ll thank yourself later.

Carlos and I hope you enjoy our latest musical adventure, ‘Oh Me, Oh Maya’. :)

Oh Me, Oh Maya | Carlos Vivanco & GrevusAnjl

(Free WAV Download available here under '••• More'; and eventually as part of my next mystery album)

Best possible morning to all of you here in the community. Here’s a nice ‘ray of hope’ message for you, as we breathe in the rich and complex flabbergast of our current situation. This is one of those timely discoveries that might just help nurture the soul a little, as we buckle in for an unimaginable (and oftentimes unbelievable) timeline:  
_____

Brian McLaren (former Pastor) - Something is trying to be born 
(as transcribed from his Tic Tok video)

Something is trying to be born.
And something is dying.
Here’s what’s dying:
A world of white supremacy is dying.
A world of dominating angry greedy men without empathy is dying.
A world without concern for planet earth itself, that world is dying.
A world of violence and power, of religious supremacy; 
a world that measures value by wealth not health;
that kind of world is dying.
A world that works on domination and exclusion, 
not collaboration and connection;
that kind of world is dying.
A world of me first not we first,
that kind of world is dying.
And like a dying cornered animal, 
that dying world bears its teeth and its claws;
and it will destroy as much as it can before it’s done.

If you only look at what is dying, you’ll feel despair.
But something else is trying to be born… 
don’t forget about it.
It’s not as loud and angry as what is dying… 
but it’s far more important.
What is being born is beautiful, 
and you know because you feel it.
It’s being born in you.
The pain of these moments, 
they might feel like death pains…
But they’re really labor pains.
The darkness, as my friend Valerie Kaur says, 
Is simultaneously the darkness of the tomb for what is dying,
And it’s the darkness of the womb for what is trying to be born.

Be strong and have good courage, my friends. We are in this together.
Something is dying.
But something is trying to be born.
_____

Justin again. I hope this gem gave you a little peace of mind. It was definitely the message I needed when Cheer ran across it last week (there is always plenty of good, intelligent and hopeful stuff to be found out there). 

I hope you also enjoyed my latest sonic creation, ‘And The Banned Played On’. :)

And The Banned Played On

(Jan 9th, 2025) Just a quick message to let you know I'm not going to be active here for a while. If you need to reach me, you can always message me at GrevusAnjl@mac.com. 
__________________

Welcome to my sonic playground. I don't consider myself a skilled musician. I just sculpt sounds to quiet my mind... often with surprising and humorous results. Thank you for stopping by. I hope you enjoyed your visit. :)

GrevusAnjl

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