The rhythms in behind this, with the metallic whirring and clicking and sizzling, reminded me of some sort of aspirator indicating a life-support system of some sort...scary stuff, has an indelible sense of being desperately isolated and on a breathing device just to keep going....dark, flitting electro-thoughts of doubt and uncertainty...a gothic horror story. Glad you are on the other side of this, but embracing it all, seems the first of AA's 12 steps...gotta start somewhere...in the darkness. Enjoyed your notes, as well ad the dark grimy bass wobbles in here. Hope all is well, Justin! :)

so top notch this one. always love to come back and listen again and again. did hear so much new stuff today, funny how perception works and where sometimes the focus tries to keep trackin..... brilliant my friend!

this part here. i want to imagine that this is the reptilian part deep inside of us and our brain , kinda  drawing attention to its animal presence .....

Wise words indeed. I love the way you're combining music, artwork and written word. Really impressive Justin👏.

Truly evocative piece... Really loving the hypnotic darkness captured here. Mysterious and highly thought-provoking.

you need a psy Justin , a brain creating this must have something wrong in it :-) no just kidding , nice one  , cool weird mood :-)

Original. The strange sounds are a bit recognizable to me as in a strange dream from my subconscious. Beautiful.

(Free WAV Download available here under '••• More', and by clicking the BandCamp link above)

Here’s a tough truth, and one we really need to get permanently lodged into our heads… we need to be kinder and more loving to ourselves. Sure, being kind and compassionate toward others is vitally important. But if we can’t love ourselves, we will always be in a deficit.

I read a wonderful book a while back, ‘The Untethered Soul’ by Michael Singer. The bit that really struck a chord with me was about the inner voice. Michael suggested that if you had a friend that nagged and criticized you, that put you down and sometimes yelled at you… you would quickly eject that friend from your life. And yet many of us live with that voice in our heads, and we just accept it as normal.

It was certainly true in my case. On a bad day, when my thoughts were reeking havoc with me, and darkness would overtake me like an ominous storm cloud… I didn’t care about anything, or anyone… especially myself. Eventually, anger might rise from or replace the depression. And as odd as it sounds, that could be a good thing. At least anger indicated something inside me still wanted to fight, rather than just lay down and die.

Dark tone. I know. These are dark times. But let me throw in a little brightness. I’m really not that guy anymore. For the sake of my loving partner and amazing children, I made the choice to try to get my head on straight about 15 years ago… I had to drop the News. The deep dives into social media had to go. And I began making a daily effort to read inspirational things, and focus on hopeful and inspiring thoughts. I took up creating music around that time (best decision ever). And I exercised more frequently as well. Heal the mind, heal the body. After 10 years of concentrated effort (and around the age of 45), I was finally in pretty good shape; mentally, physically and spiritually. :)

Every one of us has our doubts. Every one of us gets consumed by dark, negative thoughts from time to time. Some of us can fall into a pretty constant state. And if you don’t have a friendly voice inside your head, it can be a helluva rough ride. The missing key we are seldom taught… that inner friend is prerequisite to everything else.

I think this is very evident right now. The world is overburdened with people who want to be seen.. and heard. They want a meaningful life, and hope… and ultimately, they want love. Everyone is so busy screaming into the insanity, searching for signs of these things… it’s easy to glaze over the fact that everyone else is after the same things. 

This brings us back to the anger thing. If you don’t have love, anger is a powerful substitute. For the marginalized, I imagine anger in groups is probably quite intoxicating. And who doesn’t feel marginalized right now. This is a monster of our own creation, folks. And if we’re being honest with ourselves, leadership doesn’t have the wisdom or desire to fix it. It’s become quite gluttonous, and thrives on imbalance. Plus, it likes folks angry, and it likes them fearful. We’re very easy to control that way.

But this precariously balanced stranglehold breaks when the fear and anger are removed. Have you ever tried controlling someone in love? It’s impossible. They’re deliriously happy, and annoyingly lost in their bliss. This is dramatically magnified if it’s you that you love. Truly, if we are to overcome our current situation, it needs to start from within; the ultimate grass roots cause. We need to be our own best friends first, and build it up from there. And this moment is a perfect moment to start.

I hope you enjoy my latest sonic strangeness, ‘Cute Little Fellow, My Inner Darkness’. o.O

Vox Populi

Cute Little Fellow, My Inner Darkness

MESSAGE TO MY SC FRIENDS: I regret to admit, the Soundcloud bugs are such a frequent occurrence now, it’s impacting my mood and creative energy; and I need to stop using it. But there are a lot of you out there still putting forth the effort (and I greatly admire you for having the patience), so I also need to stop openly complaining about it.

So long story short, as much as this sucks, I decided to cancel my subscription (which ends on June 29th). If SC gets these bugs sorted out by then, I will happily reactivate my subscription. If they don’t, the solo works will need to be deleted a few days before June 29th, to ensure there is room for all the collabs (I don’t want my collab partners to suffer any losses, because of my choice). 

Before that happens, I urge you to grab free downloads of anything you want. Please help yourselves to copy/pastes of any liner notes you enjoyed as well. And I will also mention, all my current and future works will still be found on Bandcamp (original liner notes included in each song description). Those are truly the best versions of the songs anyway (finalized for the albums), and they will remain free to download there as well.

If the Pro Account does go poof in June, it goes without saying, I would love to stay in touch with you via other methods. You are always welcome to message me at GrevusAnjl@mac.com, and let me know how things are going in your world. :)

Your friend,
Justin (aka: GrevusAnjl)

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