4the_night

i doubt it is tbh o-o

spotify: (tonight haha)

does anyone even read this? lEAvE a COMmenT iF U dO?! :P

lyrics:
cus everything i ever wanted 
having control in the end so i lie and pretend that i do 
and i dont care if its dishonest 
putting the world in my hand aint it worth it to care for the moon 
and then maybe i wont care about anything else 
and i dont rly think its fair its just heaven or hell 
everything i ever wanted 
having control in the end so i lie and pretend that i do 
and i dont care if its dishonest 
putting the world in my hand aint it worth it to care for the moon 
and then maybe i wont
fall back asleep on my worse side 
why catch a chance when i know that ill get 
so damn obsessedn if its worthwhile 
and blind happenstance make up all that i am?

oh after all i found myself in stupid songs i wrote 
cus if failures at hand from the start then its part of the plan
for everyone but me 
like its the only way im seen 

and of all the ways to cope just in concept 
solipsism took least of a toll on my conscience 
what if im the only one around and still hold back?
thats one step away from hopeless 
is it too much in the scope of my ballpark 
all itd take is not to see my role as a costar 
harder than to find the antidote is the dosage
of getting lost in the process 
oh i know

i shouldt go on 
with the way i present to this world how i be 
think its certainly wrong 
how that versions awhole different person from me
and im honestly just glad when thats over 
cus i dont wanna fight anymore 
will i ever rly get to the closure i want

cus everything i ever wanted 
having control in the end so i lie and pretend that i do 
and i dont care if its dishonest 
putting the world in my hand aint it worth it to care for the moon 
and then maybe i wont care about anything else 
and i dont rly think its fair its just heaven or hell 
everything i ever wanted 
having control in the end so i lie and pretend that i do 
and i dont care if its dishonest 
putting the world in my hand aint it worth it to care for the moon 
and then maybe i wont
fall back asleep on my worse side 
why catch a chance when i know that ill get 
so damn obsessedn if its worthwhile 
and blind happenstance make up all that i am?

everything i ever wanted | prod. majora

Pain Meds MP3 ft KID Benzo prod P4RA (verve_music)

backyard beetle - too close for comfort (prod. jishle + sgarz)

Lyrics:
Started off young
But there's not much to grasp
But my feet in the grass
With a note from the past
All I wanted was to run
Umbrella clasp
River rocks from my bag
With a treehouse to laugh
Crying through the phone
Was it too much to ask
Just create me to last
Takeoff just to crash

Hold on nostalgia I can't lose another
Another month I'll give up until its
Soft like the summer
I move like the rain in july
In your eyes
I could almost see
Gold on
Gold on the scars that you cover
Forest of knives and guns until we
Love one another
I knew the pain in goodbye
I couldn't cry if I wanted to

But I don't need saving
No money could buy
Buy my health by myself
Feelings cave in
These four walls
Calling me names
Playing games

Crying through the phone
Was it too much to ask
Just create me to last
Takeoff just to crash
Hold on nostalgia I can't lose another
Another month I'll give up until its
Soft like the summer
I move like the rain in july
In your eyes
I could almost see
Gold on
Gold on the scars that you cover
Forest of knives and guns until we
Love one another
I knew the pain in goodbye
I couldn't cry if I wanted to

Treehouse

Yeah I wanna go and travel
But every plan's just buried in the gravel
Wish I could tell everyone where I'm at tho
But if I did everyone would just go and tattle

And you know I'm not one to start drama
Don't want either memory to go and cause some trauma
Your girl feeling kinda freaky she gon pull up in pajamas
And every time I speak I freak out with too many commas

And I can't even reach a sentence
Cus nothing I can say to anyone is comprehensive
They just ghost me and act like that I never message
Been awake too long and you know I'm feeling restless

Everything I want to do is so verboten
And my head won't shut up it's causing all the commotion
And all the memories are pain maybe get some ibuprofen
Wish I could feel love again maybe boost some oxytocin

But I know that I'll feel better if you just
Leave me alone
And all these dreams that I see with my eyes but it'd be best to
Take me home
It's all I know

Start great
Then it's heartbreak
Then I partake
In being prostrate
But I behave
And I know I'll be okay
I'm on an infinity train
But I'm waiting for fall break
So I can hear the wind and the rain
I can't sleep today

But I know that I'll feel better if you just
Leave me alone
And all these dreams that I see with my eyes but it'd be best to
Take me home
It's all I know

Yeah It's all I know
Doing what I can only hope
Least my life has pericopes
Looking way too far with a periscope

And we barely spoke
Yet she wants to go call it an elope
Leave me alone (it's all I know)

verboten (tykun)

when u close ur eyes
tell me what do u see
am i hard to find
in that black endless sea
ik u wanna die
so ill keep ur company
its too soon to say goodbye
so ill see u in my dreams
ohh
i should've known it would take u this long to understand
ohh
guess i never learn from my mistakes itll happen once again

if i knew it took so long
n i couldnt right my wrongs at all
i keep my eyes closed
you and i know
where the wind blows
n im still in the cold
pls dont let me go girl ik ur trying ur best
n everybody knows we can get her out of this mess
so when ur telling all those lies
i look at you with closed eyes

when u close ur eyes
tell me what do u see
am i hard to find
in that black endless sea
ik u wanna die
so ill keep ur company
its too soon to say goodbye
so ill see u in my dreams
ohh
-_-

close ur eyes

close ur eyes w/ halfhearted /idly blare/

Another Life (Prod Splashgvng) 

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Another Life

[LYRICS]
there’s pollen in the air
the sun is bright
I’m feeling blue
I don’t know why 
I’m here haven’t a clue to where you’ve gone 
new friends new home I definitely don’t belong 
(this feeling is scary)
two years prior today I thought I’d be married
instead I’m blue just like my hair
you start a new like you didn’t even care at all. 

Now I’m falling into space  
I’m watching as your happier without me 
happier with out me 
you change 
your clothes 
your mind 
your sound 
this feeling you give me 
I’m lost you’ve  been found
(found)  

told you that no matter where you end up 
I’d be there for you when you’re  in a damn rut 
but you shut me up 
took away that love 
I even ended up taking away my touch 
now the bridges I created I burned them 
I flew 
you drew a new life without them. 
Cause you didn’t even care at all 
you didn’t even care at all. 

Now I’m falling into space 
I’m watching as your happier without me 
happier with out me 
you change 
your clothes 
your mind 
your sound 
this feeling you give me 
I’m lost you’ve  been found
(found)  

I’m lost you’ve been found
happier without me 
you’ve been found.

Found (4lexf x Daniel Saint)

Locked away getting ready a meltdown
It’s not the same when your locked up in my head now 

Feelings go away but baby I’m obsessed now 
I can’t do nothing right so fill my head with self doubt 

Anxiety just fills my brain until I decay 
Nothing seems the same when your locked in my brain

I ain’t ready for a lockdown 
Fill my my head with self doubt 
There’s nothing to be proud about 

Turn my fucking focus to the backroads 
Fill the empty promises with poison in itself love 

Hate the voice of reason 
I can’t wrap my brain around it 

Feel like I’m the one chased by the people that care about me

Treehouse

Garr