let's fucking gooooo!!!! I love California!

favorite h4rtbrkr demos (and throwaways ig??)

garbage throwaway

r9k everyday i swear the sites rotting my brain
all the time everyday i think im gonna end it my way

i cant take another fucking day looking at this imageboard of a girl on r9k
i swear its a new girl everyday but i'll orbit her the same baby wont you look my way

r9k everyday i swear the sites rotting my brain
all the time everyday i think im gonna end it my way

when its time to go home
i'll see you there on my phone
i'll see you again

/r9k/ (unreleased demo)

creepiest loser of all time

hazel

california boys we're unforgettable
black dickies and vans on top
sun kissed skin so hot we'll melt your popsicle

oh oh oh

california boys we're undeniable
fine fresh fierce we got it on lock
west coast represent now put your hands up

oh oh oh

california

california boyz

my heart is made of flowers

without you what does my life amount to
(hand in hand is the only way to land)
glass on the pavement under my shoe

i wish you understood how much that meant to me

this is what falling in love feels like in my head if it were music

she started showing him all of my poems right?
and the next thing i know shes just showing everyone my poems.
and its really humiliating you know?

yeah.. thats awful.

this whole thing just made me feel really insecure about girls

nick i would never show your poems to anyone..

the feeling of falling in love (in the form of music)

summer of 2022 thats when i met you
getting vaccines for school ooo
u were so sweet and kind so pretty and devine
i wanted to end my life but you
showed me that skys werent grey
that there was always happy days
turned my heart into clay
i really miss you babe

to think abt all those months we spent last year
through fall and autumn and winter and summer
we talked and we talked and we had fun alot
and u were always gone but it was fine i didnt care

we were so happy u'd call me on instagram
and we would talk abt our days and id play guitar for you
and u said not to cut my hair cus u liked it long
and then i cut it when u were gone and i wrote this song

"juli says not to cut my hair she says let it grow"
well i will let you know

its hard to look at all the funny moments and the laughter
and the memories right after everything has gone to shit
i think abt the months we spent and then the months before that
and all i can think abt is how i wanna go to florida

i dont hate u i was hurting i said shit i never meant
i handled the aftermath poorly and thats why you came and went
i know that if i was more mature or if i just used my words instead of screaming and yelling
then you wouldve still have been following my instagram and liking all my stories
we could just be friends and then something

i cant laugh look at the photographs
that shit it makes me sick
i hate it i hate it
i wanna die

now everything reminds me of you
like the nhk poster in my room
but its not too late we can still reconvene

ooo

bugcatcherjuli (acoustic)

Stagnation yet time treks forward
And im traveling through the water
And for gasps of air i feel
It latching onto my lungs
And soaking right into my blood
White out paint in the pondscum
Dead fish in the ocean
Motion it closer to freak you out


Sitting in the back of your parents car
Wishing to feel something else
Coming up slow and strong 
Listening to pink floyd and stuff
Staring out at the people
Walking by its so evil
Why are they all normal
And im a freak its so unequal

Everything is
Bouncing in my head

EVERYTHINGISBOUNCINGINMYHEAD

ur so mean

[Intro]
Should've seen my face
When I turned up to work
In a coat far too big
My anxieties lurked
A man named Brandon
Showed me around
Taught how to talk to customers
When more were inbound

[Verse 1]
The first thing I did
Was I fucked up an order
The guy was so pissed
And he called me a slur
I spent all night
Cleaning the floor
The hurl from the kids
Made me sick to my core

Did you know it's
illegal
to work a minor on the
night shift
But it seems that's
the deal
I don't know how I
survived that shit

[Chorus]
Constant nights of wanting to kill myself
They say a lot of things, they think I'm suicidal
Constant times I've seen myself worse and worse
My eyebags make me look like I am suicidal

[Verse 2]
Shout out to the bathroom
Where I screamed my lungs off
It was my only safe space
That was never enough
Thank fuck for my brain
Who knew when to quit
When I started to hallucinate
I think that was it

There's been so many times
That I want to die
McDonalds gave me insomnia
And I don't think that's right
The manager's on weed
and he's flirting with teens
I don't know what to do
What the fuck does this all mean

[Solo]

[Chorus]
Constant nights of wanting to kill myself
They say a lot of things, they think I'm suicidal
Constant times I've seen myself worse and worse
My eyebags make me look like I am suicidal

[Verse 3]
My college work is due
I've got so much to do
I'm sleeping for an hour
And I want to redo
I've started sexualising
my own death
And I think that's fucked up
But I still hold my breath

Why does life suck
Woe is me
You're sickly little prickly
And you think that you should leave
I googled how to hang myself
It told me not to grieve
I wanted gone so hard
Yet I rolled down my sleeve

[Intermission]
I can't hear you
I can't see you
I can't read the
things you want to do
I can't escape myself
I can't relate myself
I can't shape the world
into itself

[Verse 4]
One time I heard a voice
It came from a corpse
He said quit your job
And he started to warp
McDonalds drove me down to
the pits of insanity
I don't know what to do
And I think that I'm panicking

I came up with a plan
to fix my head
I'll quit my job
so I don't end up dead
I handed in my two weeks
And never looked back
Fuck that establishment
And fuck all of those twats

[Chorus]
Constant nights of wanting to kill myself
They say a lot of things, they think I'm suicidal
Constant times I've seen myself worse and worse
My eyebags make me look like I am suicidal
There's people telling me that I am suicidal
I think it's funny because I don't want to die
The voices yell at me that I am suicidal

[Solo 2]

Working at McDonalds unironically made me suicidal

this time im really gonna do it
and no ones gonna be there to stop me
planned this for about like six years
and now its time i go through with it

death by car
stood out on the high way
death by car
this is what i have been waiting for

D.B.C.

please don’t drag it on
why can’t you see my jeans drag
i even dyed my hair black
you look sad alone
come be sad with me
i’ll keep you company in bleeding 

with your fingerless gloves
sharing razors when we cut
i’m not alright 
with your fingerless gloves
sharing razors i’m not

please don’t drag it on
you make me feel like nothing
tell me that means something
you look sad alone
if you’re hurt and bleeding
i want to be the reason

every time you feel loved
i’ll tear you down and tell you off
i’m not alright 
white with a black wolfcut
yeah you can ruin my life
i’m not alright

with your fingerless gloves
baggy jeans 19 enough

Sharing Razors

lyrics:
he said he loved you 
yeah just long enough for u to send him nudes
and now he's gone again yeah gone for months
oh what the hell'd u do
and when he comes back
yeah you'll let him back in
and then you'll talk for a day
and then you'll send him ur tits

and then you'll ask me
what the hell ur doing wrong
idk
idc 
cause ur probably having fun
even if i were to help u'd probably go back in a month

the used, but instead of the band it's just a woman

https://soundcloud.com/roadkill777/misaki

misaki (roadkill cover)

im so glad halloween is over, prod bowsa
lyrics:

need ur love out my system maybe i just gotta distance
i still starve every sitting i swear its like every instance 
most times when u cry it feels like its so fuckibg inconsistent 
i swear u love to lie i dont know why ur so damn persistent 

ill drown myself in liquor
drinks is my fucking dinner
have hella hentai stickers
its all over ur mirror

distance

demos & throwaways (main is @h4rtbrkr)

i delete stuff alot and then spam upload and then reupload said deleted stuff

music is cool, probably (my cat is cool too btw)


my main channel: https://youtube.com/@catchstreetboys?si=DmCI5K4shw4sYRsU

my demo/miscellaneous channel: https://youtube.com/@minionn811?si=5G33flz9I3HnO1tQ

california boyz

h2rtbrkr

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