Music (old'0

Dedicated to Hiroshi Yamauchi. 01

**DOWNLOAD LIMIT REACHED. ALTERNATE DOWNLOAD AVAILABLE AT <a href="http://www.muziboo.com/mp3/friend-leader/">MUZIBOO</a>.**

A Karkat Vantas Fansong, long awaited. It's basically about Karkat's perspective on Gamzee, Terezi and recent happenings in homestuck canon. Slightly spoiler.

~
LYRICS
~

There will be no soft sounds this time
no arms, not mine at least
should've expect this, I guess, no “shh” can sooth your beast
and it was my problem once, that violence inside your eyes
bright red and high with death and pie, and rage that never dies

and I used to blame myself, then I blamed everybody else, but never you
cause you were just a messed up kid, 
who'd step in it, get scared and sit,
and pray for goats and gods who would know what to forbid 

and when you would reach out, well I'd run my big mean mouth and make it worse
And maybe I deserve that hurt, 
destruction of my universe, 
so if you've gotta beat somebody up don't make it her.

I'm sorry, I messed up, I'm not a leader anymore.
I'm sorry, I messed up, I'm not a leader. 
Not a leader.
Not a leader, friend.

No more attempts to make you see, I tried, he succeeded, oh well
but what I can say to a girl who'd play with a noose of excuses until
her big wicked grin disappears in the smoke, and crack goes the rope pulled true
I know enough about doubt, and hating myself, to tell that you now know it too

and I used to blame myself, then I blamed everybody else, including you
but you were perfect as you were
all angled out, a blinding blur
so bright and beautiful, and clever, yeah for sure

But when you would reach out, well I'd run my big mean mouth and make a mess
And now it's my turn to confess
I wasn't there, I didn't guess
that you were slipping, 'till you tripped right off the edge

I'm sorry, I messed up, I'm not a leader anymore
I'm sorry, I messed up, I'm not a leader,not a leader, not a leader...

Said a thousands words but they never helped
I hid my scars from you out of shame
Took up the cause, Yeah I took the helm
But I'm not the only one who's changed
I knew you first, I knew you best
I wish I'd stopped it way back then
when things were bad, but they still made sense
when we were kids, when we were friends.

Friendleaders...

Friend, Leader.

A KarGamRezi fansong on charango.

Heavily inspired by the fanfic "The Serenditpity Gospels" by duedlyfirearms and urbanAnchorite. Track art by duedlyfirearms

~
LYRICS
~
There's a boy here lying quiet in my shadow like a prayer
he drips from every angle into colours that I wear
he wanders like an saint on predatory pilgrimage
with a grimace and a limp he puts his wrist against my cartilage

and I could separate these bones, I could pack them into prose, 
or I could hold a cancer in my soul until it overflows, 
but there is only boy and breath, gentle handprints on my chest. 
mouthing little darling, deepest, loveliest of sacrilege.

This boy of filth, he's born of Gods, 
he clutches at my flaws, he drags me from my holocaust
he takes my limbs, he wraps them around him, 
he takes my shake and takes my sick and feeds me bread and then...

these violent wall eyed dreams that mite their way into my fear of me and mine
these wines and sugars in my blood they mutter “Take your claws and climb
the inch of every pale moon love, you once swore you'd pay nevermind.”
When I am on the side of you, I'd say my gods were always lying
Lying...

There's a girl pacing around me, proselytizing parasite.
Her sick, acidic logic ridicules the ancient rite.
and when her teeth break up on me like tiny cliffs of chalk,
I crash into her canyon, lick the injuries she likes to mock.

And I could cut her down to size, It's half as hard as compromise, 
or I could watch a blind sleepwalker creep all sweet and none-the-wise,
but there is only girl and grin, curling up under my skin, 
picture you and I forgetting why we let the other in.

This judge of what, she's born of mud, 
she answers to no blood, she will not let me chew the cud.
She spits and swells, she wears her wretched well, 
she holds my soul with taxes, tolls, and takes it straight to hell. 

these violent wall eyed dreams that mite their way into my fear of me and mine
these wines and sugars in my blood they mutter “Take your claws and climb
the inch of every rotten hate, I once swore I'd pay nevermind!”
When I am on the side of you, you'd say your law was always lying.
Your law, it must be lying.
My Gods, they must be lying.
Lying...

The Gods Must Be Lying

Copyright 2024 Erin Wolf
Song A Week - Week 26

Photo: Sunset on Mission Lake June 25, 2024, Hatley, WI

i wish that i could fly away
to some ol' forgotten place
somewhere where i can't love you 
at all

remove temptation from all my dreams
take it all away from me
need to reset so i can't hyperfocus
what i can't have

it seem weird, it might seem rash,
it might seem impulsive to you oh i do 
believe that i know myself well enough 
to know when it's time to go

all these years 
through the pain and tears
i know what's worth my time
this just ain't it anymore

so i bid you farewell
one last time
bid you farewell 
one last time

and i bid you farewell
one last time
bid you farewell
one last time

i'm leaving tonight on
the next plane somewhere old
you can't find me there
or anywhere

You Can't Find Me There or Anywhere

((Download link can be found at http://www.muziboo.com/Hamsters/music/made-of-death/))

Homestuck Filk. A rough, sort of weird Aradia fansong I had to get out of my head. Made with my voice. A lot of my voice.

~~
LYRICS
~~~

I found a few spare milliseconds I'm prepared to waste
I've been leaving copies of myself across paradox space

I've been a body with no soul, and a soul in metal, cold.
Please trust in what I tell you. Don't you know that I am made of time?

What a chorus line of corpses we've collected
At least we're good at one thing I suppose
It's nice to feel excited once again
Let's throw the loveliest of human funerals

I used to feel I stood for something, then I just felt fine
I've fallen prey to feeling some emotions that weren't mine

I was never really gone at all, but you believed I was
So, I'm sorry that I left but I've returned to help our cause

In our story I do not narrate, I just fill the margins
With bubbles, circles shapes where we may place our fallen friends

Has it been years or days or has it been a breath?
I may be Maid of Time but I am also Maid of death

Made of Death

Some experimental, sort of jazzy, rather dark Equius Filk. I recommend headphones for this one.

Music/Lyrics (c)PhemieC
Homestuck(c)Andrew Hussie

~
LYRICS
~

Little boy blue, don't you play too rough with your new toy
if you touch her, she'll break and her blood is so annoying
don't you like to watch, much like a shadow lost in the shade?
Make her, you'll unmake her, but you'd rather be unmade

Oh 
It's not my place to interfere, my dear
Oh, no
Will you embrace me and erase my fear?
Woah
Wipe me out like a stain, with a grin I will hang from your string
And by your judgment of my merit I'll inherit nothing

Nothing is what I deserve
Nothing is what I have earned
If nothing is what you have chosen to give me
Then nothing is for what I yearn
Nothing lasts forever, nothing really matters
Nothing never breaks, busts, bends, rusts, upends or shatters.

I've never had a weakness that couldn't be destroyed
And I've never had a sinful thought that couldn't be avoided
Control your temper, control your language, or anguish in languid soul
It's what you were born to do, but you'd rather be controlled

Oh
I just presumed that you’d refuse me
Oh, no
Excuse this common fool his crudity
Woah
Break this wild horse, I will not fight, 'cause of course I would win
And I'd much rather give in and bare it all 'till I inheret nothing

Nothing is what I deserve
Nothing is what I have earned
If nothing is what you have chosen to give me
Then nothing is for what I yearn
Nothing lasts forever, nothing really matters
Nothing never breaks, busts, bends, rusts, upends or shatters.

I must obey the order, for I've order to restore
Each circuit sends a signal to the process in the core
and if none of this means anything than what's my anger for?
I'd rather be most anything, the dirt under your heel my king, 
a peasant or a pauper, or a knight in shining armor
what's required of your noble steed? Through your direction I am freed 
and neigh I say! I wont stand in the way of what you have decreed for-

Nothing is what I deserve
Nothing is what I have earned
If nothing is what you have chosen to give me
Then nothing is for what I yearn
Nothing lasts forever, nothing really matters
Nothing never breaks and nothing never shatters.

Inherit Nothing

Returning to my roots with some simple acoustic Scourge Sister filk from Terezi's POV. 

((DOWNLOAD LIMIT REACHED. ALTERNATE DOWNLOAD UP AT <a href="http://www.muziboo.com/Hamsters/music/a-confession/">MUZIBOO</a>!))

Music/Lyrics (c) PhemieC/Hamsters
Homestuck(c)Andrew Hussie

~~
LYRICS
~~


You cause nothing but trouble wherever you burn. You're the sunlight in my open eyes, but I wont go blind today.
Cause when liars lead minds with their wiles and clever distractions, I see through them
And I've got experience dealing with repeat offenders, they swing from my branches, like unripened fruit, found wanting when weighed.
With all of the evidence finally laid out in front of me, I can almost taste
a confession, a confession.

So if the court would stay quiet for only a second, I'm pleased to make my case, and tell my story
but wait just a moment I'm passing a motion, I also am the judge, and the jury
You should worry, you should worry.

Where are you leading us? all is malodorous evil
The reddest of herrings is wearing a worrying scent
You ask if I'm serious why am I acting so gleeful?​
What do I want? Should you rather absond or repent?

Absond or repent? Settle the score? 
No lawyer needs a spider in their corner shredding documents for sport. 

Now, deciding your fate is no simple matter because part of me knows that I would miss you
but you're so complicated, I couldn’t pin you down, and now you're becoming an issue.
Little thief on the run, I'm a witch hunt of one, and the very first question I'll ask in your interrogation
was all of it, everything, just one big game? And if so was it luck of the throw, your misrepresentation?
And subsequent incrimination, incrimination.

While I was dreaming I learned a brand new way of seeing
from a fetus, a mother, but also a beast and a ghost
you ask if I'm kidding, you're having a hard time believing
“Am I villain or victim? Why can't I be neither, or both?”

Neither or both? It's either/or.
It's not multiple choice you stupid girl. Why don't you break that magic eight ball, and give a coin a whirl? 

Give a coin a whirl. Give into the law. Confess, you silly girl.

A Confession

Time

Feferi Filk! My longest fansong yet! Very folky and mood-whiplash-y, so if it's too slow for you at first wait a bit. :)

((DOWNLOAD LIMIT REACHED. NEW DOWNLOAD UP AT <a href="http://www.muziboo.com/mp3/save-you/">MUZIBOO</a>.))

Music/Lyrics (c) PhemieC/Hamsters
Homestuck (c) Andrew Hussie

~
LYRICS
~

There was a darkness, that soothed me, and raised me up to dream
in an abyss, those nightmares, they're not what they seem
they whispered of a world they'd known
where every child was their own 
all the colours of an oil spill when moonlight hits the wave, I'll save you all.

You've seen all the things that I've seen, you've been all the places I've been, my friend
you know all the things that I know, well maybe not all but most so who cares who is better or worse than anyone?
I've made mistakes along the way, but who said things should stay the same, I don't agree
the universe is filled with so “moray” new exciting things to sea, for you an me

you don't need saving, you can save yourself
you're all so special from the inside out, 
Just take a second, look how far we've come
I bet if the nightmares could see me now they'd say well done

well done, well done, well done daughter, daughter well done.

There was a darkness, that knew me, and raised me wild and strong
so hated, and so feared was she, though fearful most of all
she whispered of a hunger deep
and as old as the bones beneath her meat
all strange serenades and never sleeps yet never wakes, I'll break your fall

you've done everything that you could, you feel like there's something else you're supposed to do
who crossed that road, who burned that bridge, who fought that current and swam with the fish, was it you?
I've lost a friend, I've gained a friend, what's a friend mean but a means to an end? I tried my best with
everyone I've ever loved ill outlive unless I can find where life inside me rests, it is my test

You don't need saving, anymore, anymore
but I'm still waving from a not-so-distant shore
just take a second, look at what you'll start
I'm sorry that I couldn't save you, from darkness inside your heart

your heart, your heart, your hardened heart, friend...

Save You

Some short Rose filk for a friend. :)

((NEW DOWNLOAD UP AT <a href="http://www.muziboo.com/mp3/leviathan-the-girl/">MUZIBOO</a>))
Music/Lyics (c) PhemieC/Hamsters
Hoemstuck (c) Andrew Hussie

~
LYRICS
~ 

What a vision of darkness, creeps in with desperate sharpness, lecherous grafting of knowledge to my young mortal subconscious.
Words writ by breath of the ancients, wiser than even the pagans, or the wizened old men with wands and white beards that once were ensconced in my pages.

Obfuscated by doom, and laden with arduous tasks are the pathways laid out for the lot of us.
Mages and witches and princes and maids, pages with inches of space for mistakes.

I am the beast, I am the light, I am the blighted being cursed with sight
I am the god who created a world, I am leviathan, the girl

I can do it on my own, but you're a hero after all, and we may think our sacrifice is just but pride comes right before the fall. 
The cascade of rain on my needles, a hand grasping tight to the bottle, of a woman with untapped potential, the ennui of too late and too little.

Our failures have made, a bridge for success, if our game is half played, then who's played the rest of it?
Heroes we were in a universe doomed, soldiers in battles best left un-exhumed.

I am the beast, I am the light, I am the blighted being cursed with sight
I am the god who created a world, I am leviathan, the girl. And-

I can do it on my own
we can do it on our own
Aut viam inveniam aut faciam x2

I am Leviathan, the girl...

Leviathan, The Girl

A simple fansong for the pairing Rufioh/Koruss for Homestuck. I can't help it, I'm a serial overthinker.

((DOWNLOAD LIMIT REACHED. ALTERNATE DOWNLOAD AVAILABLE AT <a href="http://www.muziboo.com/Hamsters/music/nobodies">MUZIBOO</a>))
Music/Lryics (c) PhemieC
Homestuck (c) Andrew Hussie

~
LYRICS
~

Do you remember being nobodies, discovering nothing was not that bad
when shared as a pair, both lost and long suffering, hiding in a frightening land

And do you remember feeling that anger, yet so much love and “for what?” you wondered
and now there’s no wondering, the wrong nervous muttering, no magic left at all

but I remember leaning against a backwards bent wing 
and awaking to feel that your touch didn't sting
when everything was wrong, I made so many mistakes 
and you helped me make them, but with presence and patience 

all those wrong, awful, wild, amazingly childish decisions

I take a breath, and I know I've got to turn the final page
but is our story really done yet? I guess I'm still afraid

But do you remember, just being honest, little bright moments of peace in the trees
now it takes so much work to be with you, I'd say that I miss you, but for that you'd have to leave

but I remember once forever seemed too short a time
though not long enough for me to make up my mind
I would’ve thought eternity would eventually make me wise
Enough to choose a side, not just linger undecided
Why do I feel changed when we both have stayed the same
it feels like something's different, some ache too big to name 
When everything is endless and you're nineteen yet again
and you're never flawed enough but you keep on pretending

wanting that desperate, “forget me not/do you love me yet?” ending

but there's no ending. There's nobody. Just two nobodies.

~

Nobodies

Based on Firefly Cloud, of the One Year Older album, Electric Fireflies capitalizes on the soft piano twill to bring the familiar Doctor and Showtime mixes together in a way that was difficult for me to capture previously.  I believe it turned out pretty great, but I'll let you be the judge of that. :)

Check out the album! ---> http://sparksd2145.bandcamp.com/album/shenanigans-mspa

Electric Fireflies

A Vriska Fansong. Not much else to say.

ALTERNATE DOWNLOAD AT <a href="http://www.muziboo.com/mp3/an-apology/">MUZIBOO</a>

Music/Lyrics(c)PhemieC
Homestuck(c)Andrew Hussie

~
LYRICS
~

Once upon a time a stutter disgusted me, 
muttered distrust at me, pity you couldn't fly.
I've only ever taken what's mine,
So what if I help you, I'm helping myself, too?

Twice I got the wind knocked out of me, why?
Just to curl up and die? No, I've got too much pride.
So I breathe it in then let it out slow,
When I turn to go, find you trailing behind.

I fought for every last inch that I got
Forgive me for leaving my spot
Not standing in w8 while you finished the race 
with those two broken legs you've got.

One thing's for sure...
If I were you I never would have let it stop me,
I never have before.
And if you knew what I went through while trying to get through to you, you'd thank me!

You'd get down on one knee, no matter how much it hurt
and you would say “I'm sorry”, but I would say it first...

Once, the two of us were eye for an eye
Now I've given up trying, how could I be so blind?
You'll never let me settle the score
To you I'm the scourge, not the the partner in crime.

I fought for every last one of you schmucks!
I might as well have saved my luck
Not wasted it all on some shortsighted, know-it-all
so-called friends, you're not.

One thing's for sure...
If I were you I never would have let it stop me,
I never have before.
And if you knew what I went through while trying to get through to you, you'd thank me!

You'd find me in a dream, on some uncharted map
And I would say I'm sorry, and you would want me back...

Once the world was just a web and a spider, and so was I.
A liar in a dress of white. 

An Apology

A GamTav song, written for a Valentines Day contest. Veeeery angsty, Also there's a swear word! :0

*ALTERNATE DOWNLOAD AVAILABLE AT <a href="http://www.muziboo.com/mp3/fool-3/">MUZIBOO</a>*

Music/Lyrics (c) PhemieC/Hamsters
Homestuck(c) Andrew Hussie

~
LYRICS
~

Boy, you get my guts tied up in such a twisted noisy ruckus
Heaven sent that you are, wouldn't lift a claw or cut me off 'cause
Rambling as I ever am I shamble to your chair and stables
Watch you all enraptured as you shuffle cards and stutter fables

Break my habit, you're my habit, I'd trade my limbs for one of you
Two legs for two lips, now I'd say that's a fair trade, wouldn't you?
Drop my habit, you're my habit, I'd trade my habit to get you back and I'm
Like a fool without a calling, like a heartsick fool

Boy, you like to play the martyr, but if I pray a little harder
If I close the window and come back here when I'm not so sober
If I said it plainly not in riddle-rhymes, all cagey, 
Would you answer with a smile made of brackets or look at me strangely?

Break my habit, you're my habit, I'd trade my limbs for one of you
Two legs for two lips, now I'd say that's a fair trade, wouldn't you?
Drop my habit, you were my habit, I'd trade my habit to get you back and 
It's you and I again just writing, shiftless, click clack clicking, grinning 
Like a fool without a calling, like a heartsick fool

Boy, you're on the floor and on my fingers, dripping from my kisses
Eyes so vacant, would you hate it, if I said you look delicious?
The laughter dies and rots inside me, brother, it is you all over
Stay beside me here and guide me, unrequited would-be lover

Took my miracle, you're my miracle, I'd trade my brains for one of you
Two gods for two voices, I'd say that's a fair trade, wouldn't you?
Need a miracle, you're my miracle, I'd trade a miracle to get you back and I'm
Left without a friend, soaked to the bone and backwards bent 
I'm seeing shades, screaming repent your sickness leave it here for lent 
Now witness, here, a fool without a calling! I'm a heartsick fool.
Still the fool without a calling, still a fucking fool.

Save You

Hamsters

Recent comments

Mike Goutokuji

pep

menace

doodlebug

Related tracks