with @counterxo and @clay0127 prod @yashio20k @hartfxlt

lyrics:

(xternalz)

its not the same now
cause im lying face down
i just miss the way that we used to be
i cant face it
oh i cant take it

and if i could close the distance now
i would see you in my room
or see you on the couch
i'd do all i could
i'd do all i could

(clay)

i feel the rain, withered, wear me down
wash away and drain me out
only ever holding on
youll never find me standing proud
shoulders slumping over
like a boulders covering me now
im searching for closure
in an open casket
bury me now
dont come no closer
its only pain when i come around
post trauma hasnt left
now im alone and staring up at the clouds
i hope youre watching me
cause im still hearing every sound
and i still see you in my room
searching for solid ground

(counter)

It feels so different
I’ve been so distant
You hear what I say but will you actually listen?
We can’t be afraid to make the harder decisions
What we thought was fate gets in the way of our vision
See your ghost in my room
Your eyes in the stars, they light up with moon 
I try to get out, but my past just consumes my head
I need you here instead

(xternalz)

its not the same now
cause im lying face down
i just miss the way that we used to be
i cant face it
oh i cant take it

and if i could close the distance now
i would see you in my room
or see you on the couch
i'd do all i could
i'd do all i could

distance

distance w/ clay & counter (hartfxlt + yashio)

@rewind214

what're u so afraid of ?
take my hand i'll keep u safe 
now ur all I think of 
cuz of u I lie awake 
ur love what I need now 
plz give me ur time of day 
say u won't go away 
i'll show u that i'll stay 
rest assured, it could be worse 
life takes its turns but i'm along for the ride
and u could be shotgun be mine 
girl if looks could kill I would dieee X_X

going in circles with the thought in my head 
these thoughts so hurtful I can't put em to rest 
i don't deserve u but i'm trying my best 
what could this turn to i'm not holding my breath
either the stars are aligned or my hopes too high .. 
so scared saying goodbye will it be the last time 
smoke u up talk all night 
ur in my arms it feel right 
i'll be urs u'll be mine u'll be minee 

girl i'll stay, wait right here 
spendin time away from u and it pass so slow :( 
i'll decay for u, in ur brain need to know need to know 

what're u so afraid of ?
take my hand i'll keep u safe 
now ur all I think of 
cuz of u I lie awake 
ur love what I need now 
plz give me ur time of day 
say u won't go away 
i'll show u that i'll stay 
rest assured, it could be worse 
life takes its turns but i'm along for the ride
and u could be shotgun be mine 
girl if looks could kill I would dieee X_X

oh girl i'd die, oh girl i'd die 
u know i'd die, u know i'd die 
oh girl i'd die, oh girl i'd die 
u know i'd die, u know i'd die 


if looks could kill (rewind)

@1akura @rewind214 @yashio20k @afterstoryx 

##

so turn me to ashes and turn me to dust
u know i dont want it if it isnt us
u made me feel like a monster
&& everything stuck
u watch me step in the picture
22 keep us one

if its me vs u know i dont wanna lose
when im battered and broken
black and im blue 
tell me all i can do

now that i finally have you

@1akura

now that i finally have you
i cant live without you
so baby dont leave 
just wanna be around you

if all i could see
is your face in front of mine 
then bae i dont mind it 
im scared of the silence

yeah i need u to call me back 
its the end of my world
think im falling fast
u are my only girl

i dont want u to cry
give u my life
its not worth being alive
if our futures not us together

ashes&&dust +akura (rewind, yashio)

everytime u cross my mind 
I get that dumb lump in my throat 
so I close my eyes pretend ur by my side 
as if nothings changed at all, changed at all 
u moved on, dont care its done, its done 
thought I learned but im dumb, so dumb :( 
id do it again just to feel what its like to love, what its like to love 

from strangers to lovers to strangers again
no I couldnt hate her she let me in 
hope u see this song and u listen 
where did it all go wrong, whats different? 
fall asleep at day break 
dream all day, then at night im awake 
u “fall for me” but still push me away 
I shouldve never expect you to stay 

stayyyy, stayyy (i shouldve never, no no no)  

everytime u cross my mind 
I get that dumb lump in my throat 
so I close my eyes pretend ur by my side 
as if nothings changed at all, changed at all 
u moved on, dont care its done, its done 
thought I learned but im dumb, so dumb :( 
id do it again just to feel what its like to love, what its like to love

as if nothings changed at all (rewind + hartfxlt)

prod @decago n @yashio20k

thank u @hartfxlt for the ft

@haunted_sad

i tried 4 u ig it didnt matter too
yeah im sad im holed up in my fkn room
im having nightmares i cnt even sleep at night
i let my heart baby fkn evry night

yeah i thought baby that u were jus my remedy
i believed all the lies u fed me.
yeah i jus rly tried to show up 4 u
i know im the bad guy think i hate me 2 :)) 
yeah ur the one that me fkn hate myself
all these thoughts bby they're jus getting too damn loud
u cnt erase u cnt take back what u fucking did
so ill take the knife and think that ill end my life
inhaling toxins jus tryna forget u
im falling asleep bby with my fkn eyes open
i was a fool to ever call u my fucking home.
yeah ur the one that fkn betrayed me

@hartfxlt


@haunted_sad
u were the one tht damn betrayed me
u cant take back all the words u said 2 me..
U WERE THE ANGEL BABY FROM MY NIGHTMARES

i cant go back baby i cant restart
i-i got all these scars displayed on my arm
all this damage tht u did to my heart
u pushed me astray u pushed me jus so far
at least i knew baby that we'd never last together
going back in time iwishinvrmether
yeah i jus get away i stay up evrynight
u left me bleeding red bby i jus see no end in sight

ibetrayedmyself4u w/hartfxlt (decago + yashio)

https://open.spotify.com/album/3stAtuXXmuOZOTqGCstP8D?si=4xYGB05JTrqzku1ppGtg9w
@hartfxlt
@fvckriv

spotify

lovetohate

@tores @ihateyourei

shoutout akura for doing fx :p

this feels too familiar, in the worst way
u moved past me and I'm still hurting 
I hope ur happy, cuz u deserve it 
a happy ending, girl ur worth it, worth ittt 
hope we can come back and rekindle this 
don't u miss me at least a little bit? ;(
don't u miss the little things we did?? >:(
I still miss the way ur heart beatin  </3

its all up to chance, all up to fate 
its hard to stand but I wont break 
sad u went but I'm glad u came 
we'll cross paths again someday 
its all up to chance, all up to fate 
its hard to stand but I wont break 
sad u went but I'm glad u came 
we'll cross paths again someday 

maybe it's just better that I don't kno.... 
I tried to make an effort but u don't show up 
couple months have passed and there is no us 
<3 so blind I misplaced my trust 
wanna hear ur voice even if its made up 
if it were my choice we'd still be in love 
tryna fill the void when I take these drugs 
tryna find the one that thinks I'm enoughh 

its all up to chance, all up to fate 
its hard to stand but I wont break 
sad u went but I'm glad u came 
we'll cross paths again someday 
its all up to chance, all up to fate 
its hard to stand but I wont break 
sad u went but I'm glad u came 
we'll cross paths again someday


we'll cross paths again someday x4

a happy ending (tores + rei)

@k4rson @1akura @kyoakyo @afterstoryx

@k4rson
i dont wanna see u being with someone
i remember when u said i was the only one
we haven't spoke in months
are u with someone?
are u with someone
is he better than me
tell me what u see in him that u dont see in me
why would u be with him if u couldn't be with me
why wont u be with me?
why wont u be with mee

@1akura
why cant u see
u mean the most to me
ur the reason i breathe
we're so outta sync
u tell me to leave
"forever till the end" u said, but thats outta reach
why wont u be with mee

@k4rson & @1akura
be with me x8

@1akuraa
yea u told me to hold you
i got too close look at the things that i go thru
i know u know too
the things that i told u
i wanna be with u
if u go down that road, ill go down that too

im starting to think
that u and me
was just a dream
nothing to believe
u know it hurts me to say u dont love me
just one more time i wish i could make things right

@k4rson 
is he better than me
tell me what u see in him that u dont see in me
why would u be with him if u couldn't be with me
why wont u be with me?
why wont u be with mee

@k4rson & @1akura
be with me x8

karson + akura - be with me (kyoa)

It's a new step I guess 

lyrics 
Take me from this place 
Never let me go 
Just dont forget 
About all the nights that I spend on you 
Kill me in my dreams 
Now you wanna take from pain 
But I already like it this way 
Why you lie in tears 
Why you cry so real 
Why you lie in tears

Now I'm so deep but not in my mind it's all inside it's so fucked up 
Now it's fine 
Don't care about me

In my dreams (prod. Cryx)

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Prompt-engineered by Cherry Bella

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#CloudPop #RagePop #DreamTrap #VaporTrap #GlitchPop #SadBop #Hyperpop

Apple Music

Silk Halo

talking about the things going around my head for the last 2 days
beat by neverforever