joke's on you: the bedroom ballads

highschool (live)

No soosh

Sound dumb (dub)

prod. @blacklunged

these days waking up is getting hard now
i knock the jack back
i pick up what i put down
bad habits comin round like theyre ancient
its no surprise that im gunna need a rain check
not goin out like i dont make anymore plans
sitting in my room, staring at the ceiling fan
wait, whos your mans?
guess i forgot to ask that
you haunt my dreams, i can see you in my flashbacks
i fill my brain with whatever i can find
im self defeating
always wasting all my time
got a 9 to my head, but i swear im fine
im unattached from the little that i call mine

im unnatentive to these bitches like i go to class
reach for the holster, load it up, and then i cock back
up to my dome, running frantic like my last lap
fill the spaces with distractions
cuz you know im bouta snap
like the led on my pencil when i try and write
i smoke a blunt, then im sleepin for the whole night
i didnt answer cuz im busy talkin to the knife
throwin shade like we forgot about the sun light
sometimes its hard to fight back
wake up around noon
stuck in bed while i smoke the sack
black fingernails creeping down to your body
always fucking up like its way more than a hobby
fiendin for some love, so ill take what i can get
nothings ev-er enough, death would be the safest bet
got ashes on my clothes cuz everything about me’s gross
you said i always did the least but bitch i always do the most

people fade away like ghosts, i guess its for the better
loving at what cost? feel closer with the reaper
when i see her its like all time stops
cuz im asleep while the fucking rain drops

smoking packs while im alone
i write these songs and hate myself
this alcohol straight to my dome
and i dont pace myself
fuck a chaser
all i chase are these illusions 
happiness, a fallacy
ive come to the conclusion

these days waking up is getting hard now
i knock the jack back
i pick up what i put down
bad habits comin round like theyre ancient
its no surprise that im gunna need a rain check
i fill my brain with whatever i can find
im self defeating
always wasting all my time
got a 9 to my head, but i swear im fine
im unattached from the little that i call mine

Follow me <3

while the rain drops (prod. blacklunged)

@notmorgn <333

lyrics:

I don't need no friends that fake expressions just for fun
how you say i started when i ain't even begun
every lie you stack up on me hurts unless you're done
every day i suffer in my room well just because

everyday i wake up in a nightmare its a curse
every night i try to change then wake up felling worse
thoughts and hollow memories but still no lessons learned
broken glass for feelings but nobody act concerned

i can't hold my happiness for not even a day
people poppin xannys and they wanna hide the pain
i don't think they understand that life isn't a game
look inside yourself and you might find someone to blame

medicate anxiety no remedy to pain
medicate society so they all go insane
medicate my brain, medicate my brain (x2)

i can hear your whispers as they echo through my mind
pitch black border painted all around your eyes
i don't feel a thing i swear i've never been this high
i don't need to try
i don't wanna stay here
wanna take my life

i don't think i'll every try to make it through the night
who wants to feel alive
am i right
wanna die in your eyes

medicate anxiety no remedy to pain
medicate society so they all go insane
medicate my brain, medicate my brain (x2)

dying in ur eyes (prod.notmorgn)

art - @riley-rand
feat - @lilhappylilsad
prod - canis major

lyrics <3

I fear what's in the dark, 
who I am at heart
Light it up, i spark
But theres no point to start

An when Im all alone
Girl pick up the phone
show me where to go
Gonna need some methadone

Its so hard to be alive
Its so hard to fucking try
Sometimes i jus wanna die
You cannot see it through my eye

Ill be laughing on the day im in a coffin
Find me smiling when im fallin into nothing

All I can do now is hope that it don’t come back
I am fadin around, and I hope she knows that
But I saved a picture of her on my kodak
Had a key to happiness, but let her hold that

yeah 

I cannot lie, nothin left inside
Whys it always gotta be the one I love that makes me cry

you can decide, if we survive
But i just cannot stick around and listen to you tonight    

these thoughts will be the death of me
Sometimes I feel it's destiny
never meant me, no left of me
riding to my death, Kennedy

You change my mind
Only happy when I'm high
feel less dark beside my side
but you break me baby why

I fear what's in the dark, 
who I am at heart
Light it up, i spark
But theres no point to start

An when Im all alone
Girl pick up the phone
show me where to go
Gonna need some methadone

i burn money like its nothing
smoke it for the mind but lately i feel like i lost it
feel like i should stop it
but something made me roll another one so now im off it
off the dope like i always been
i feel happy for a while but then my head spin
I'd do everything for anything
so if i want it u can bet im going all in
that's why my friends call me no chill
cause i can try but i can never fucking sit still
unless I'm off that Mary j
but i gotta stop if i want my girl to stay

cause i can't deal w emotions
need to regulate my smoking
feel too good when im toking
see me laugh when I'm choking

smoke a 50 bag a day
& tbh I'm okay
i just need a little break
so ill get higher when i blaze

twitter

nothing left - ft. lil happy lil sad (prod. canis major)

a mess, inside a body of a man

featuring my friend @guardinmusic

blackheartemoji
an album from @prodbybrody and thebreathingbackwards

lyrics: https://genius.com/thebreathingbackwards-what-i-am-lyrics

blackheartemoji

spotify

what i am (ft. guardin)

i've been extra lonely lately, since you left.

✨ Polar ✨
💎 @polar333 💎
💎 www.instagram.com/ihatepolar/ 💎

✨ Business Inquires ✨
💎 polar333.official@gmail.com 💎

✨ Northeast Lights ✨
💎 @northeastlights 💎
💎 https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjT-f9vgfeOepoKvDF_Fo5g  💎

lyrics:
and what she don't know (and what she don't know)
all the hearts that she's breaking
all the souls that she's claiming

and she don't feel the pain, feel the pain (she don't)
and i don't feel the same, feel the same (and we don't)
i'm starting to feel decay inside my brain 
makes me think my feelings have gone away

and she don't feel the pain, feel the pain (she don't)
and i don't feel the same, feel the same (and we don't)
i'm starting to feel decay inside my brain 
makes me think my feelings have gone away (have gone away)

and i don't know if my heart can take it (what she don't know)
it's driving me crazy (she's breaking my heart)
it's driving me crazy
cause she don't feel the same, feel the same
she don't feel the pain, the hearts she breaks
you can't heal my soul only numb the pain (ya)

and she don't feel the pain, feel the pain (she don't)
and i don't feel the same, feel the same (and we don't)
i'm starting to feel decay inside my brain 
makes me think my feelings have gone away

and she don't feel the pain, feel the pain (she don't)
and i don't feel the same, feel the same (and we don't)
i'm starting to feel decay inside my brain 
makes me think my feelings have gone away

my feelings are in the dirt
and my hearts on edge
can i feel again my cuts the test
and when my life has come to end will she be there
cause she don't feel the same

and what she don't know
all the hearts that she's breaking
all the souls that she's claiming

i no longer believe in us (prod. northeast lights x odece)

prod by loopy

ive been feeling lost i
cant remember last night
i dont feel like the good guy
i guess maybe im the bad guy
never meant to be the villain
drink too much until its spilling
i tell myself that im fine
but i cant remember last night
im so stagnant repeating myself
all of this liquor is bad for my health
begging and begging i want you to stay
all of the while im getting more grey
im losing color my palettes a mess
everydays darker im fucking depressed
this life is boring and im fading fast
i guess that we crashed
i got what i asked
for
mi amore
это все новое для меня		-- this is all new to me
J'essaye de faire de mon mieux	-- im trying my best
туда и сюда			                -- back and forth
я думаю, что я сойду с ума		-- i think im going to lose my mind

speaking different languges
learn communication
its fucked up
all the shit i put you through
what you put me through
i dont really understand why i dont hate you
you dont hate me too
at least not that i know of
id throw up
im trying so hard not to grow up
oh man
feel like peter pan
but
now im just left with the trust and the pixie dust
guess that ill mix it up woah
my life is spinning
im sinning
my throats
been burning
im turning
the table
so now im unstable
wait fuck no i wanna go back
i cant relax
your voice echos inside of the silence
im feeling violent
no i cant escape
guess that im stuck in the bed that you made
then i made it worse i gave in to the hate
nothing i can do about it now
but im feeling like shit
so i guess ill write it down
guess that im the villain
not feeling my self
running all the time
and its not going well
no more
hit the floor
closed door
fuck my hearts torn
im a bore
bodys sore
guess ill never roar
never lion
dont know why im tryin
i think theres a chance that this beds the one ill die in
im so sorry
i dont know whats gotten into me
a ghost of who i used to be
theres nothing at my core

follow loopy

never meant to be the bad guy

explicit

cut myself with thorns, for you to throw away the roses

prod. @stillvanishing
ft. @lilxtraatl

s/o @prodbybrody
& @the-gnarly-neighbors

[STREAMING]

hurt (ft. lil xtra) [p. eadith]

i make shitty music.
hateghosty@gmail.com
dm me i love you
1999.