Ernie Vecchio, a trauma psychologist, proposes that early exposure to anger and violence can create a "bully" ego state in children, which can manifest in defensive and aggressive behaviors throughout adulthood. He introduces the humane spectrum, a framework for understanding how early experiences of rage influence our ability to relate compassionately to ourselves and others. Vecchio argues that identifying where we fall on this spectrum can help us recognize that our aggressive behaviors may stem from a need for self-protection rather than inherent personality flaws. This awareness, he believes, can lead to self-compassion and ultimately a shift towards more mindful and compassionate interactions with the world. By fostering a sense of security and openness in children, we can create a "humane universe" where empathy and kindness are valued above anger and aggression.

Understanding Our Inner Bully

"The most beautiful things I look back on in my life are coming out from underneath things I didn’t know I could get out from underneath. The moments I look back in my life and think, 'God, those are the moments that made me,' were moments of struggle." — Brené Brown

Find more at onbeing.org/becoming-wise

Courage Is Born from Struggle | Brené Brown [Becoming Wise]

“Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet / confinement of your aloneness / to learn / anything or anyone / that does not bring you alive / is too small for you.”

David Whyte is a poet and philosopher who believes in the power of a “beautiful question” amidst the drama of work as well as the drama of life — amidst the ways the two overlap, whether we want them to or not. He shared a deep friendship with the late Irish philosopher John O’Donohue. They were, David Whyte says, like “two bookends.” More recently, he’s written about the consolation, nourishment, and underlying meaning of everyday words.

Find more www.onbeing.org/program/david-whyte-the-conversational-nature-of-reality/8560

David Whyte — The Conversational Nature of Reality

"The soul is contained in the human voice," says David Isay, founder of StoryCorps. He sees the StoryCorps booth — a setting where two people ask the questions they’ve always wanted to ask each other — as a sacred space. He shares his wisdom about listening as an act of love, and how eliciting and capturing our stories is a way of insisting that every life matters.

Find more at http://www.onbeing.org/program/david-isay-listening-as-an-act-of-love/6268

David Isay — Listening as an Act of Love

"The point of gathering stillness is not to enrich the sanctuary or the mountaintop, but to bring that reality into the motion, the commotion, of the world." Wanderer and writer Pico Iyer on outer stillness as an essential catalyst to a rich inner life.

Find more at onbeing.org/becoming-wise

The Inner World Is a Great, Undiscovered Terrain | Pico Iyer [Becoming Wise]

"Happiness is not the absence of depression; depression is the absence of happiness." - Marianne Williamson

If you enjoyed this episode, check out show notes, video, and more at http://lewishowes.com/347

On iTunes

EP 347 Marianne Williamson on Pain, Suffering, and Finding Peace

Chill Out - Contemporary Jazz

We hear all the time that some of life's greatest lessons are hiding in plain sight. You can see as a spiritual being when you close your eyes and try to see with something else. This is the vision of the human heart. It’s a perspective that allows us to feel our way through something versus grope in the dark.  The ego automatically thinks it needs to have some sort of intellectual engagement with life. Is life right or wrong, fair or unfair. Meanwhile, the heart is simply looking for true and false.

Close Your Eyes & See With Something Else

Our inner voice develops when we are children. Initally, it is felt as incongruence between what our heart knows and our ego believes. Little do we know human suffering (passion) begins when we dare to question why. This is the birth of the human spirit. By design, our agnst begins the long journey of preserving truth against the overwhelming beliefs of the personal and collective ego. Tune in as we discuss the name(s) of these inner voices and how they interact with the 'whole' of who we are.

How Our Inner Voices Begin

Humbly sitting and assisting others in healing from severe trauma, I have spent my career understanding the human psyche and its response to suffering. My clients say: “It is sad that we have to sever a spinal cord or be amputated to care where we land on the Humane Spectrum!”  Today, https://www.intentional-evolution.org/ offers evidence that our shared inner journeys have a common theme: everyone experiences division. I am suggesting that people have to heal their inner division before repair appears in the culture. Then, and only then, can we connect, be empathetic, and have a reciprocal relationship with ourselves and others. Tune in and listen to discussions around my teachings.

Understanding Our Inner Bully

Ernie L. Vecchio

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