A lot of success in life happens in tiny micro changes. This episode is to help you curate the mindset of “I got this” as you move through your day. The alt name for this episode was “Ask More of Yourself” but that felt kind of agro. This is about building agency and momentum via seeing success as something small. Keeping a perspective of our own ability, sense of agency, and curating a feeling of “I got this” as we move through challenging times or new, fear-inducing territory. 

Stick around for the tools in this one! This has tips for staying in the channel of focus on what you’re doing right. Appreciating life in the exertion periods and giving yourself an awareness snap of, “Oh, wow, it’s actually not so hard, and I can do this” We can get that snap of clarity when we can look at a loved one from a generation past or the long hours demanded of an Olympic athlete. That concept of empowered endurance and self-motivation is a reset for our day to day toils. Sending love… you are so much stronger than you think, right now.

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Sponsors:
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Ep 255: Seeing Success as Small: a path to growth

Are you being loving or are you enabling someone to remain dysfunctional? How do you tell? If you are a person who finds you are enraged and triggered by a relationship in your life and you feel powerless, this episode is about imbalanced relationships where one person is overactive and another person is underactive and how that “sick system” self-perpetuates despite everyone having good intentions. If you are unsure whether or not you are codependent, ask yourself – do you obsess about the way another person lives their life and does it make you miserable? Are you finding yourself being put in compromising situations because of that person? This episode might be a helpful starting point. Also here are a few must-reads!
Codependent No More
⁠https://amzn.to/4ooLFfW⁠
Courage to Change
⁠https://amzn.to/3HgpAzC⁠
The Dance of Anger
⁠https://amzn.to/45kZlQj⁠
Sponsors:
Chewy:⁠ chewy.com/podhelpmebeme⁠ to save $20 on your first order with free shipping 
BetterHelp: ⁠betterhelp.com/helpmebeme⁠ to get 10% off your first month of therapy 
Indeed: ⁠Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME⁠ for a $75 sponsored job credit
Wayfair: ⁠Wayfair.com⁠


Ep 256: Caregiver Relationships: Setting Healthy Boundaries

What is love bombing? It’s a term used to describe the initial phase of a relationship when someone is trying to “seal the deal” with intoxicating affection. The person connects quick and hard, often validating you in ways you have craved your whole life; saying all the things you want to hear, treating you like you have dreamed of being treated. They make you feel seen and adored, which is why it’s so confusing and painful when it ends. 
 
A lot of people ask me, what happened to that person? Was it not real? It was real for you in your personal experience – however the person who enacted it was not portraying their true self. A person like this usually collects fans. They collect adorers, and they get off on the feeling of control. So I describe it often as a person with a different kind of brain. More on this plus some tools in this episode. This is for one person in particular but also meant for anyone who has fallen for a person who immediately disposed of you after you thought they were the one. And if you’ve been love-bombed and then deeply wounded, I send you much love. Hang in there. xox
 
Support this week’s sponsors!
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Ep 257: Love Bombing – What it is, why it happens

This episode is really about living a life of meaning and being intentional in that approach to today. Tools for focusing your energy on on vibrating toward good – whatever that looks like for YOU, right now. What do you live for? Is your life designed around this thing? I don’t mean living for a job or a mission, necessarily. I also mean things like “hiking with my dog” or “mountain biking.” 
This episode is about returning to yourself, coming back to who you are through deliberate efforts. We are constantly recalibrating. 
I read a quote recently by E.L. Doctoro about writing a novel. “Writing is like driving at night in the fog. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.' Self-work and healing is also like driving a car at night. You can make the whole trip that way, you don’t need to see it all at once. Just focus on being deliberate and intentional in how you approach today – only today, right now. We return to ourselves when we create conditions that remind us of our origins. 
 
The book I mention is here:
https://amzn.to/4mcnBKM
Sponsors:
Chewy:⁠ chewy.com/podhelpmebeme⁠ to save $20 on your first order with free shipping 
⁠Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME⁠ for a $75 sponsored job credit
 ⁠Wayfair.com⁠
⁠Headspace.com/HELPMEBEME60⁠ to unlock all of Headspace FREE for 60 days
 ⁠TruDiagnostic.com⁠ and use code HELPMEBEME for 20% off your entire order or subscription
 
insp

Ep 257: Hello Soul: Designing your life around meaning and purpose

This episode is really about living a life of meaning and being intentional in that approach to today. Tools for focusing your energy on on vibrating toward good – whatever that looks like for YOU, right now. What do you live for? Is your life designed around this thing? I don’t mean living for a job or a mission, necessarily. I also mean things like “hiking with my dog” or “mountain biking.” 
This episode is about returning to yourself, coming back to who you are through deliberate efforts. We are constantly recalibrating. 
I read a quote recently by E.L. Doctoro about writing a novel. “Writing is like driving at night in the fog. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.' Self-work and healing is also like driving a car at night. You can make the whole trip that way, you don’t need to see it all at once. Just focus on being deliberate and intentional in how you approach today – only today, right now. We return to ourselves when we create conditions that remind us of our origins. 
 
The book I mention is here:
https://amzn.to/4mcnBKM
Sponsors:
Chewy:⁠ chewy.com/podhelpmebeme⁠ to save $20 on your first order with free shipping 
⁠Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME⁠ for a $75 sponsored job credit
 ⁠Wayfair.com⁠
⁠Headspace.com/HELPMEBEME60⁠ to unlock all of Headspace FREE for 60 days
 ⁠TruDiagnostic.com⁠ and use code HELPMEBEME for 20% off your entire order or subscription
 
 


Ep 258: Hello Soul: Designing your life around meaning and purpose

Losing, feeling low, less-than, not winning at something. This is for a perspective flip: seeing every place as exactly where you need to be, at a given time. We all have seasons in our life and cycles we move through. Cycles of productivity, growth, success, and then there is also resetting – where we are brought into a new, full understanding of reality. This is important and though painful, it also serves a role in your life: think of it as the winter of your cycle. 

A Seneca quote that feels appropriate: “No man is more unhappy than he who never faces adversity.”

Friction is how we move into new levels and capacities for joy and depth. When we return to the barren state, we check in with self and with life: where am I and where should I be going? There is new information to be brought in and it brings about the reshaping of self. This episode has some tools to look at your loss or your feeling of lowness as a winter opportunity for inquiry and change. This can be a moment of truth, acceptance, reconciliation. If something has recently hit you – do not panic, do not reject it, but allow the change to wash over you. Sending love…

Sponsors:
AquaTru.com - use code HELPMEBEME for 20% off any AquaTru purifier 
Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME for a $75 sponsored job credit
 Wayfair.com
Headspace.com/HELPMEBEME60 to unlock all of Headspace FREE for 60 days
 TruDiagnostic.com and use code HELPMEBEME for 20% off your entire order or subscription
betterhelp.com/helpmebeme to get 10% off your first month of therapy 



Ep 259: On Losing – Pivoting When You Feel Less-Than

Or having enough of yourself to channel toward that which you are gifted to bring into this world. This is for those cultivating a creative dream who are struggling to get into creative flow. This episode has tools for jumpstarting a sense of inner drive that comes from knowing oneself. 
Where you might be right now: energetically “occupied.” Relationships take up a lot of time and remove our mental ability to think autonomously. As do jobs. In general, if we are unable to access flow it’s a sign we are spiritually taxed. Sometimes that is because life has made you neglect that part of yourself. Sometimes your creative muscles are just out of use. And other times it’s because someone hurt you and it has given you performance anxiety.  
Protect your energy - it is precious, the most finite resource you have. To access that place of flow and drive, we need safety and private psychic space. What I will go into in this episode is how to start to build up a routine and get moving toward your creative goal.
Sponsors:
Chewy:⁠ chewy.com/podhelpmebeme⁠ to save $20 on your first order with free shipping 
Indeed: ⁠Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME⁠ for a $75 sponsored job credit
⁠Headspace: Headspace.com/HELPMEBEME60⁠ to unlock all of Headspace FREE for 60 days


Ep 260: Cultivating a Dream - Reclaiming a lost self

Sometimes there is a path forward that we have not leveraged because we spin out in guilty ruminations and projections. You may want to get out of a relationship or change a condition in your life, but you defer to another person’s thoughts as you imagine them in your own mind. We often block ourselves from aligning with a truth with self-limiting beliefs and guilt because for codependents guilt is INTENSE. This is about ways that codependency can show up: allowing the feelings of others to block us from what we want.
This is aimed at reflection and a chance to look inward. I wanted to say if you’re in a place like this – you feel stuck and it feels like it’s all on this other person, that is an opportunity to step back, tune in, and practice letting go. Sending love…
The book I mention is this lovely read:
⁠https://amzn.to/4oB0o6I⁠
Sponsors:
Factor: ⁠FactorMeals.com/HELPMEBEME50OFF⁠ and use code HELPMEBEME50OFF to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year. BetterHelp: ⁠betterhelp.com/helpmebeme⁠ to get 10% off your first month of therapy  ⁠Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME⁠ for a $75 sponsored job credit Headspace: ⁠Headspace.com/HELPMEBEME60⁠ to unlock all of Headspace FREE for 60 days Ritual: ⁠ritual.com/helpmebeme⁠ for 25% your first month 


Ep 261: Guilty Blocks: Finding the way forward

Libido is often used to refer to sexual desire but it also refers to a psychological drive – an energy for life satisfaction. In this episode I am referring to your libido as psychic energy in general. This is about protecting your source of drive: channeling it toward that which you truly desire on a deep, personal level. Often in life, our drive gets fractured or frustrated by the needs of others or by filling the void with things like substances. 

I invite you to reflect on what’s happening in your life and where your libido is currently going. It needs to be channeled toward that which is most important to you. We must create a strong and consistent “container” or safe space for ourselves to bring forth any goal. Whatever condition in your life is stealing you away from a goal – I encourage you to be active in that fight even if it is unpleasant. That is a step in the process of change. Being in the struggle is how we move planets in our life.

The books I mention in the episode are here:

https://amzn.to/3XkmC17
https://amzn.to/43eEyOg

And this is the dreamwork book:
https://amzn.to/3Xg3i5a


Ep 262: Protecting Your Libido – Channeling Life Force

This is for working on relationships in your life where you have weak boundaries. If there is a loved one who doesn’t respect your boundaries and you feel guilty for needing space from them, know that that is part of your upbringing and the feeling of needing space is your emotional health saying “I need to heal.” This is an episode to give you some relief around that set of feelings. It has some tools for coming into the present, tuning into your body. 
Truly healthy and loving relationships are built between two capable individuals who show up with heartfelt effort. also applies with your relationship to yourself: you need to show up for you and set consistent boundaries around harmful situations. If there’s a person in your life who is not honoring you and your values, it’s up to you to boundary how you deserve to be treated. There need to be consequences when someone is not treating you with basic human respect. If there’s a person in your life who is having all their cake while you beg for emotional crumbs, this is an episode about confronting change and moving toward action. The inner world will match the outer world: your bar has to be consistent for everyone in your life otherwise your self-worth is affected in all spheres. Sending love!  
Sponsors:
Factor: ⁠FactorMeals.com/HELPMEBEME50OFF⁠ and use code HELPMEBEME50OFF to get 50% off your first box, plus Free Breakfast for 1 Year.
BetterHelp: ⁠betterhelp.com/helpmebeme⁠ to get 10% off your first month of therapy 
⁠Indeed: Indeed.com/HELPMEBEME⁠ for a $75 sponsored job credit
Ritual: ⁠ritual.com/helpmebeme⁠ for 25% your first month
⁠TruDiagnostic:⁠ ⁠TruDiagnostic.com⁠ and use code HELPMEBEME for 20% off your entire order or subscription


Ep 263: Enforcing Healthy Boundaries – cake eaters + crumb beggars

Help Me Be Me is an emotional toolkit for creating positive change in yourself. I like to think of it as self-help for people who hate self-help. I'm Sarah May, coach/mom/all-around happy person, and these are the tools that work for me in my life. For all of my offerings you can check out YayWithMe.com What I share is my personal opinion. It's not a diagnosis for treatment or a substitute for professional help. If you're suffering, please reach out to your local emergency services or call 9-1-1. Music theme created by www.BookerHillMusic.com

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